The Helpsman
@toilingApotheosis
II'm the H-ELPSMAN, II H-ELP of course!! IIt's riight there iin the tiitle!! IIf you -EVER need anythiing just let me know.
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
II went lookiing for the oliive at the end of my shiift. Usually II am iindulgiing my miiniimum mandated shuteye periiod or prepariing for the next shiift, but maybe II was feeliing partiicularly eccentriic today. II diidn't fiind them. Strangest thiing. II asked a manager eventually and they saiid there had never been an oliive workiing that task on my shiift? How strange!! Must be some iill effects liingeriing on from my record breaker a few niights past. Oh well. Tomorrow wiill be better. Always iis iin the -Empiire!!
Wow!! Quiite the response!! II already knew my superiiors were on to somethiing, but even II diidn't expect such quiick results!! More fool me. Trust the system!!
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
I think I’d kill to work with you?
II'm glad you're 'twiinkiing' about joiiniing up miiss burgundy!! You'll get those letters iin no tiime.
Oh no!! There's no need for such thoughts!! -Empress forbiid. Liiterally!! Siimply siign on the form liittle lady. Though someone of your caste ought to be speakiing to management staff, not a humble socket plug liike me!!
I don’t mind talking to someone like you, you’re strong and cool! I’ll find my way! ::::)
Startiing to get worriied for that Hydroliief offiicer. Not for myself miind you, wouldn't be my fiirst thiirst shiift!! II remember when the puriifiicatiion plant blew and they were sendiing people to the riiver wiith buckets!! Volunteered to go wiithout and spare some hands. But maybr II'll check iin wiith a manager. Should come by for the rounds of the statiions every fiive or so hours!! Very attentiive.
Can't seem to recall theiir name!! Pretty sure iit was an oliive? Changes frequently for some reason!! IIt iis demandiing, cardiio iintensiive work runniing around wiith the water riig but very iimportant!! Not everyone iis ready for the burden of responsiibiiliity II suppose. That's what culliing iis for!!
Work all day on a driink of none!! Haha we do have our japes on the job. II do wonder where the usual watercouriier got off to though. Oh well!!
Normally II can hold myself up on these bars for hours wiithout the aiid of the helpfully proviided gentacles!! But II'm feeliing shaky and woozy for some reason? Miissiing that shiift must have put me off my rhythm harder than II thought!!
Thiis early iinto an 18 hour shiift II'm not usually so sweaty!! Maybe the AC uniit iis on the friitz? But no, the bronze who does HVAC iis an upstandiing and well culled worker!! Strange.
II FOUND ON-E UND-ER SOM-E WIIR-ES BY MY STATIION!! Shiift saved!! #mypellets
They diidn't have teriiyakii flavor #mypellets today but II wiill persevere. For the needs of the many!!
Speakiing even briiefly wiith the benefiicent -Empress has remiinded me of the folly of workiing for personal gaiin. II may have beat my record but the tiimeloss from gettiing me out of the statiion, recovered, then back iin was barely a net posiitiive!! Consiistent top effort -EV-ERY SIINGL-E DAY, that's the way to move forward!!
You make me want to vomit.
Ɏ if you aain't gaainin then whaat's the point Ɏ Ɏ why not go aa lil aapeshit every now aand then aas aa treaat Ɏ
A troll after my own heart. Keep it up, you'll find a way to shave time off~
Read carefully young burgundy!! Or seek appropriiate aiide to have iit read to you. Gaiins are made by consiistent, top qualiity effort!! IIf you redliine a machiine and iit breaks, then you have to fiix iit, settiing you back behiind whatever you hoped to gaiin operatiing outsiide mandatory parameters!! II am grateful wiiser miinds than my own set those guiideliines.
Ɏ stopped reaadin thaat shit on mention of gettin somebody to reaad it for me. i'm literaally on chittr! i caan reaad!! daamn!!! caan't fuckin taalk to aany corpo cronies Ɏ
So glad to be back at the plant!! All II had at hiive was boriing bread and cheese and delii meat. Here they've got my pellets for the worker on the move!! #mypellets
They're lettiing me back iin!! TH-EY'R-E L-ETTIING M-E BACK IIN!! Fiinally!! -Everythiing iis too damn stiill wiithout a current goiing through me.
II thiink my beiing stranded outsiide the plant and the frustratiion thereof iis bleediing over iinto other Helpsman!! Thiis iis terriible!! Where iin the beautiiful world iis my superviisor?
II'm up!! II'm at the plant gate!! But ii'm not used to haviing slept twiice between shiifts and got here too early. There's no one to let me iin. DIISAST-ER!!
Ugh!! Stuck at hiive!! Thiis websiite iis admiittedly amusiing but II could be out helpiing my fellow trolls you know.
Tucking you in!
At least II have my trusty griip traiiner here so II'm not -ENTIIR-ELY slackiing.
Thiis iis restiing. II'll have you know iit's even called a rest platform!! IIt came wiith my generously proviided hiiveblock.
II'm not broken miiss. Please don't say thiings liike that. II can stiill work.
Seem to be doiing a lot of fooliing around riight now. II'd better hope that record helps wiipe out the staiin of miissiing the latter half of my usual shiift...
Nonsense. They'd stop me before somethiing liike that happens. There are many iimperiial safety precautiions for such thiings!! II'm an old hand at thiis sort of thiing, no need to get your pretty royal haiir iin a knot.
WOO!!!! N-EW R-ECORD!! 29 hours iin a row!! That's what they told me after II got off the stretcher at least. Apparently II have to go on leave for at least a day? Total bummer, but II heard a lot of people were checkiing thiis thiing out on Beforus? Just let me know iif you need anythiing, okay?
3X( Sollux!!! PL-EAS-----E get some rest!
You're a famiiliiar lookiing lady!! Wiith a famiiliiar name. Huh!! But II am restiing!! II could be strapped iin shockiing and jockiing riight now!! but II can't :( So thiis iis restiing!!
You do NAUT need to be s)(ocking or jocking!!!!! You just need to lay down!!! And I am your -Empress if s)(e lived under different circumstances. 38P We kissed a few times on a floating meteor!!!!
YOU KIISS-ED TH-E -EMPR-ESS?? II can't be here iin the presence of a royal paramour so underdressed!! Farewell, consort!!
)(u)(? No I kissed my universe's YOU!!! T)(e -Empress )(ates my guts platonically!
1 KNOW YOU W4NT TO H3LP MOR3 BUT BR34K1NG YOURS3LF TO DO 1T 1SN'T TH3 W4Y.
HII T-ER-EZII!! II'll have you know II'm fiit as a fiiddle!! They watered me riight up after the shiift. Now ii'm stuck outsiide!! Maybe II should come to the miine?
SUR3, 1F YOU W4NT TO COM3 S1T 1N TH3 OFF1C3 W1TH M3 WH1L3 1 DO S4F3TY R3PORTS.