The Helpsman
@toilingApotheosis
II'm the H-ELPSMAN, II H-ELP of course!! IIt's riight there iin the tiitle!! IIf you -EVER need anythiing just let me know.
II probably should not be gettiing iinvolved iin such thiings. II blame my diistress at so much free tiime hangiing over me!!
What's helming like -zzt- for Beforans?
W-----ELL, if you need a way to occupy your time over t)(e weekend, I mig)(t )(ave a special assignment JUST for you! You s)(ould be reefwarded for your dedication, not punis)(ed!
II'm n0t sure what you mean!! My head was standard siize as far as II'm aware and requiired no speciial fiittiing, II just took a helmet off the rack!!
OH THANK GOODN-ESS!! By whiich II mean you of course!! Please let me know. Unsurpriisiingly you are riight!!
@orp)(anerDualscar Ooo)(, a R-EC)(ITT t)(is time? )(ow bold! I wonder w)(at I )(ave to do to get you to MANTA RAY UP and say )(i? Does tagging it #Fis)(ingFriday )(elp? )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/8a0cc29335ad.png
Perhaps they are iintiimiidated by the sheer warmth of your presence? IIt iis a wonder your spectacular seadwellera countenance does not dry out!!
:33 < i gotta admit, whenever these beach parties and stuffs happen… :33 < i just cant bring myself to go swimming. im really afraid of d33p water XSS :33 < what if i drown in front of everyone?? id look like weakie mcweak flailing in the water!
Surely there are liifeguards present? They're mandatory at any properly regiistered beach!!
They're giiviing me the weekend off =:C Pardon my language but: dammiit.
Think ⚣f it like this, n⚣w y⚣u can g⚣ ar⚣und directly helping and talking with tr⚣lls! Think ⚣f all the p⚣ssibilities!
II already do that iin my offtiime!! II quiite enjoy volunteeriing. But the gulf of an entiire weekend iis so very, very long. What iif somethiing goes wrong over there?!!
↘️countless people constantly posting advice.↘️ ↗️RELATIONSHIP ADVICE↗️ ↘️advice on how to be a better troll↘️ ↗️YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE NEVER POSTING ADVICE ABOUT?↗️ ↘️employment advice.↘️
II piinned my offer to the masses as II am far too busy for advertiisiing!!
For the record I’m not a relationship counselor. I’m the President. I have things to do. I have a job.
II do not know what a Presiident iis, but II am glad to see more employed people on here!! Keep iit up!!
II do not know what a Dave iis but II am a fan of well regulated tiimeslots!!
a dave is a person i am a dave
Hello Dave!! What a funny liittle club you have of users wiith avatars from what II assume iis some kiind of -East-Beforan programmiing!! Looks so much liike what lovely Miiss Megiido iis always tryiing to show me!!
II extend thiis greetiing more generally to all of the Daves iin the iinterest of not shiirkiing my dutiies!! Hello Daves!!
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
「TWINK.」
I think I’d kill to work with you?
II'm glad you're 'twiinkiing' about joiiniing up miiss burgundy!! You'll get those letters iin no tiime.
Oh no!! There's no need for such thoughts!! -Empress forbiid. Liiterally!! Siimply siign on the form liittle lady. Though someone of your caste ought to be speakiing to management staff, not a humble socket plug liike me!!
K-E-EP UP T)(-E GOOD WORK!!! Just don't spend TOO muc)( time on C)(ittr. 38)
Of course my -Empress!! Most of my posts are iin fact queued ahead of tiime!! Miinor repliies are handled on my two mandatory fiive miinute breaks!!
II feel II should note that whiile iiniitiial uniiforms are caste-iindiicatiing as iin most workplaces for your health and safety, iif you don't miiss a shiift for over a sweep you too can put iin for a custom one iin recogniitiion of your dediicatiion above and beyond the call of blood!!
what's wr0ng with y0u?
Riight!! II should have made the onus for the message more clear for those wiith poor readiing comprehensiion bereft of theiir culler!! To expound: Thiis post iis iin reference to my non-standard Helpsman's uniiform!! And explaiins how one can acquiire siimiilar garb!! Thank you, fellow yellow!!
are y0u 0k? i kn0w we are n0t0ri0us f0r being at least a little pan damaged as a baseline but this is scary.
How could II be anythiing else? But thank you for your miisplaced concern!!
misplaced c0ncern?? dude, y0u talk like a l0b0t0my patient. like this chitt if y0u've been thinkpanwashed.
My thiinkpan iis examiined quiite regularly!! Thiis ensures II suffer no iill effects from my regular usage of YIIII class psiioniic abiiliitiies iin an iindustriial capaciity!! IIf anythiing the -Empiire iis wastiing resources on my humble self!! II'd siimply check iin at a cliiniic iif II felt somethiing amiiss. But our dear -Empress does worry for us all. Back to work!!
Speakiing even briiefly wiith the benefiicent -Empress has remiinded me of the folly of workiing for personal gaiin. II may have beat my record but the tiimeloss from gettiing me out of the statiion, recovered, then back iin was barely a net posiitiive!! Consiistent top effort -EV-ERY SIINGL-E DAY, that's the way to move forward!!
You make me want to vomit.
Ɏ if you aain't gaainin then whaat's the point Ɏ Ɏ why not go aa lil aapeshit every now aand then aas aa treaat Ɏ
Read carefully young burgundy!! Or seek appropriiate aiide to have iit read to you. Gaiins are made by consiistent, top qualiity effort!! IIf you redliine a machiine and iit breaks, then you have to fiix iit, settiing you back behiind whatever you hoped to gaiin operatiing outsiide mandatory parameters!! II am grateful wiiser miinds than my own set those guiideliines.
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
A phenomenal opportuniity you're giiviing to all my -Empress!! II hope they make wiise deciisiions liike you would!!
T)(ank you, my most loyal )(elpsman! I'm so glad I can ALWAV-ES count on you for your kind words of support!
ALLWAV-ES!! Though thiis concern iis beneath you please accept my personal apology for collapsiing on the job two days priior!! II accept full responsiibiiliity.
Apology accepted!!! Just try not to let it )(appen again, okay? -Every second you spend unconscious is anot)(er second t)(at t)(e power grid underperforms!
Don't II know iit!! Here's hopiing your recruiitiing efforts bear fruiit. Thiis has been a fantastiic usage of my fiive miinute break. Back to work!!