The Helpsman
@toilingApotheosis
II'm the H-ELPSMAN, II H-ELP of course!! IIt's riight there iin the tiitle!! IIf you -EVER need anythiing just let me know.
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
「TWINK.」
I think I’d kill to work with you?
II'm glad you're 'twiinkiing' about joiiniing up miiss burgundy!! You'll get those letters iin no tiime.
Oh no!! There's no need for such thoughts!! -Empress forbiid. Liiterally!! Siimply siign on the form liittle lady. Though someone of your caste ought to be speakiing to management staff, not a humble socket plug liike me!!
Speakiing even briiefly wiith the benefiicent -Empress has remiinded me of the folly of workiing for personal gaiin. II may have beat my record but the tiimeloss from gettiing me out of the statiion, recovered, then back iin was barely a net posiitiive!! Consiistent top effort -EV-ERY SIINGL-E DAY, that's the way to move forward!!
You make me want to vomit.
Ɏ if you aain't gaainin then whaat's the point Ɏ Ɏ why not go aa lil aapeshit every now aand then aas aa treaat Ɏ
Read carefully young burgundy!! Or seek appropriiate aiide to have iit read to you. Gaiins are made by consiistent, top qualiity effort!! IIf you redliine a machiine and iit breaks, then you have to fiix iit, settiing you back behiind whatever you hoped to gaiin operatiing outsiide mandatory parameters!! II am grateful wiiser miinds than my own set those guiideliines.
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
A phenomenal opportuniity you're giiviing to all my -Empress!! II hope they make wiise deciisiions liike you would!!
T)(ank you, my most loyal )(elpsman! I'm so glad I can ALWAV-ES count on you for your kind words of support!
ALLWAV-ES!! Though thiis concern iis beneath you please accept my personal apology for collapsiing on the job two days priior!! II accept full responsiibiiliity.
Apology accepted!!! Just try not to let it )(appen again, okay? -Every second you spend unconscious is anot)(er second t)(at t)(e power grid underperforms!
Don't II know iit!! Here's hopiing your recruiitiing efforts bear fruiit. Thiis has been a fantastiic usage of my fiive miinute break. Back to work!!
I could be ★ cowboy.....
Ranchiing iis a very helpful professiion!! Work hard and maybe you could even be a Zoologer!!
m0rning shift #sevenelevenp0sting
Ugh!! Stuck at hiive!! Thiis websiite iis admiittedly amusiing but II could be out helpiing my fellow trolls you know.
Tucking you in!
At least II have my trusty griip traiiner here so II'm not -ENTIIR-ELY slackiing.
Thiis iis restiing. II'll have you know iit's even called a rest platform!! IIt came wiith my generously proviided hiiveblock.
II'm not broken miiss. Please don't say thiings liike that. II can stiill work.
Seem to be doiing a lot of fooliing around riight now. II'd better hope that record helps wiipe out the staiin of miissiing the latter half of my usual shiift...
Nonsense. They'd stop me before somethiing liike that happens. There are many iimperiial safety precautiions for such thiings!! II'm an old hand at thiis sort of thiing, no need to get your pretty royal haiir iin a knot.
WOO!!!! N-EW R-ECORD!! 29 hours iin a row!! That's what they told me after II got off the stretcher at least. Apparently II have to go on leave for at least a day? Total bummer, but II heard a lot of people were checkiing thiis thiing out on Beforus? Just let me know iif you need anythiing, okay?
1 KNOW YOU W4NT TO H3LP MOR3 BUT BR34K1NG YOURS3LF TO DO 1T 1SN'T TH3 W4Y.
HII T-ER-EZII!! II'll have you know II'm fiit as a fiiddle!! They watered me riight up after the shiift. Now ii'm stuck outsiide!! Maybe II should come to the miine?
SUR3, 1F YOU W4NT TO COM3 S1T 1N TH3 OFF1C3 W1TH M3 WH1L3 1 DO S4F3TY R3PORTS.
1 LOV3 MY STUP1D DUMB CUSTOM3RS 1 LOV3 G1V1NG TH3M NOTH1NG BUT 4LL MY LOV3 4ND NOT W4NT1NG TO M4UL TH3M #V1OL3NC3
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~~(__^·> mamas hive, babies!!! <·^__)~~
:33< i can spell and have done so befure
:33< woah hottie alert! :33< sorry what i meant to say was :33< no :DD