Orphaner Dualscar
@cerbericApostle
Newly revived Orphaner of the high Alternian seas. Rank equivalent to a Fleet Admiral for those mongrels unaware of the tiers of noble service. He and Him.
i grabbed a human on the beach and told them to take this picture of me. i'vwe decided to let evweryone online see howvw i'm doing. come by my beach, if you dare. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/831478f94e40.jpeg
₍^. .^₎⟆ ! th!nk of th!sSS somet!mes ꠹
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- pr-∊♱♱y ȺΣ -∊v-∊r dȺrlƗng. -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
=3:) ! th!nk t♡day !s a great day t♡ stay h♡me° Y♡uu l♡♡k beauut!fuul°
Goddamn you weren't kidding
₍^. .^₎⟆ ! don’t l!e꠹
I think I found a new workout routine
₍^. .^₎⟆ Ready to burn off a few poundsss?꠹
Only if you're ready to receive a few #suggestive
"frankly? 1 thought h1s lack of post1ng was because he d1ed outr1ght” “1 help a moment of s1lence a few w1pes ago” “or at least 1 th1nk 1t was a few w1pes ago” “1t’s hard to tell how much t1mes passes 1n th1s encapsulat1on” “no wa1t what are you do1ng why are you ch1tt1ng th1s stop that-“"
if there is one thing that history and time has provwen, ovwer and ovwer again, to be ineffectual against my charm and bravwado it is death. nowvw, a good lookin lowvwblood sitting on my lap wvwith a knife behind their back? that could get me at anytime.
oh wvwait you can't sit. let me rethink this.
"why d1d he rech1t that, 1t was not meant to be told to the masses 1n the f1rst place"
"1 prefer to lay than to s1t but take your t1me” “what, 1t’s not l1ke 1’m go1ng anywhere"
you may prefer it but is it possible for you? to be laid and strung across another's lap, laid like a delicate bismuth mummy upon the vwery seat of the wvwarm, beating body of a troll wvwho wvwould hold you close? hm?
"1 used to do more than that” “1 do however, cont1nue to be restr1cted from even scratch1ng my nonex1stent nose"
"1’m l1terally try1ng desp1te be1ng fused to a wall, what more do you want from me"
do you wvwant the realistic answvwer or the unrealistic answvwer?
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/65b4ab2aa0fc.gif
that wvwas just a joke. i didnt die. im sure no one circulated rumors of that kind. i just took a break from my palmhusk is all.
are you implying i havwe fat fuckin digits or anger issues? they're both true but howvw dare you. i broke it. so wvwhat?
"1f you are truly not 1ll1terate, you can see 1 d1d not accuse you of e1ther, but way to conf1rm 1t for the rest of the onlookers"
We don't hide! We ARE the masks! As a matter of fact,we have the fewest of secrets. - Hamlet.
it wvwas obvwiously in the sub text, you must learn to see past only wvwhat your eyes showvw you. of wvwhat your attendants read you. wvwhichevwer one of them reading this, do a sarcastic face at them.
"“oh 1 see plenty, 1 just need to get some k1nd of amusement out of 1t every so often” “1 regret to 1nform both you and the attendant that the sarcast1c face attempted was weak sh1t and needs 1mprovement"
curse that attendant. make them cowvwer in shame, howvw dare they bring that wvweak shit wvwhen representing the wvwords a the mighty orphaner.
"the attendant apolog1zes” “and unfortunately we can’t get new ones” “and doubly so 1 can’t super make anyone cower, because aga1n, hashtag my wall” “#mywall”"
oh yeah yesterday's wardrobifier prank has finally gone off. i was waiting for it and got a pic. @tipsyGlamour you look handsome as ever! ;) wonk
you looked hot! everyone was enjoying the view cutie. but I guess you don't wanna be a celebrity getitng modeling gig offers.
i’m so hungry.
GIRL.
we can share!
https://media.tenor.com/VZ3bBSyrUH0AAAAM/bunny-eating.gif 💗
exacccctly.
GOT )(IS BASS
shutuppppp
wvwoke up sore this light. howvw's evweryone else doing? good? wvwho cares. i'm doing great.
you're a lad of fewvw wvwords, arent you? are you preparing for wvwar? i used to lovwe preparing for wvwar.
oh no usually i cant shut up. too pissed to be talky, sorry. ill get over it once i've got this figured out.
sure. hey, i'm not one to balk at unrestrained rage. in fact, it kind of is endearing. i didnt knowvw you had this side of you. if you wvwant to let some of that anger out punching a large pillowvw, i'll gladly hold it up for you and shout motivwational phrases.
i just shattered a bolder on accident. i'm a bit past pillows.
i had fun being silly playing truth or dare. apologies if i'm being short.
did you mean boulder or is that someone's name? anywvways, i applaud the rage. carry on, i say. keep going until you can't see straight.
heh. wvwell that makes twvwo of us. don't you wvworry, i'vwe got thick skin. mayhaps too thick. i'll chat wvwith you another time, if you're open to it.
sorry, i'm being a shit about your typo. can't help myself. i'll removwe myself so i don't wvwind up like those rocks you'vwe been smashing.
we'll see.
boulder* typo.
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh wow! they just keep HRNNNNing at me!!!! }*7*{ fluke at them go!!!! #whichcouldmeananyfin #hrncore #thatscullquette #anglerfishing }˚₊⊹ ࣪
hrrrrn is an ancient and charming language, spoken only by the most captivwating a rugged sailor men.
shhhhhhhut up shut up shut up shut up
࣪⊹₊˚{ soooo, did you mean to say that 4 times? orrrr.... }6u6{ }9u9{ }6u6{ }9u9{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ iiii believe it! i feel SO tidally NETTED right now! }*∀*ʃƪ }*∀*ʃƪ can you do it again? four me? PLEEEEASE? }*ᗜ*{ }*ᗜ*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
DAMN IT ALL SOMEONE SKEWWER ME AND END THIS BLOODY EXISTENCE
wvwell, okay. only because you're so damn cute. hhhrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnn.
࣪⊹₊˚{ YOUUUU WISHHHH! }>7<{ }>7<{ }>7<{ }>7<{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ OHHHH SHELL YESSSS!!!! }⟡ᗜ⟡ʃƪ }⟡ᗜ⟡ʃƪ im so like, totally fulfilled with my life that i could SEARIOUSLY AUTOCULL right now!!!! }꩜ᗜ꩜{ }꩜ᗜ꩜{ ~ <3 <3 <3 <3 WOWWWWW! #he-hrnnnnd #hrnwhaling #gatheringhrnwayrn #+fourkingdying }˚₊⊹ ࣪
i enjoy your presence. you need to vwisit me more. it's not evwery light wvwhen i find someone wvwho doesn't make me wvwant to rip my owvwn fins off.
I have to ask. Does it ever get easier to navig8 the Manor, or am I forever cursed to get lost whenever I visit? 8efore you ask, no, I didn't attend the #FeltOpening 8ecause SOMEONE thought it 8est to have me playing Hide and Scream all night.
i could use some tutoring, im sure.
If you pick a su8ject, maaaaaaaay8e we could figure something out.
i can think of a couple subjects im vwery interested in.
Color me curious. ::::)
yeah it can be a bitch to get around sometimes (|:I but dont worry!!! next time ill bring ya on over so ya dont get...as lost hehehe and even if we do get lost at least well be lost together!!!
ill color you vwhatevwer you vwant.
I'll have to hold your prong, getting separ8d from taking the wrong turn would 8e rather ridiculous. ::::)
well who i to say no to that hehehehehehe (|<////<
I'll let you lead. I trust that you can do a fa8ulous jo8 at finding your way... Eventually. :::;)
sorry. i liked wvwhat i wvwas looking at so much that, believwe it or not, i lost all ability to speak proper empress' english. there's an old sailor's myth about the kiss of a beautiful wvwoman being able to restore one's mind. mind if wvwe givwe it a try and see if it wvworks?
#ALPHABITCH OF THE #ALPHATIMELINE. HANDMAID OF THE LORD OF DOUBLE DEATH. DEMONESS OF ALTERNIA. HR AT THE FELT. HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL FORMER SLEEPER AGENT. YOU'RE SURELY FAMILIAR WITH MY WORK. #BOSSBITCH #GRINDSET #LURKEDINPOSTING #LURKEDIN #WORKPOSTING #NEWPINNED
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE ALPHA BITCH. I KNOW I'M BASICALLY NOTHING COMPARED TO YOU. BUT. WE STILL DO THE SAME THINGS. BUT YOU DO IT MORE SEXILY.
STAND UP. WRETCH. YOUR SERVITUDE CLEARLY WEIGHS HEAVY ON YOU. BUT REMEMBER. WHEN YOU SELF DEPRECATE YOURSELF. YOU TARNISH MY. I MEAN OUR. AURA OF DANGER AND DESPAIR. AS WELL AS OUR WEB BRAND. MISERY SHOULD BE INFLICTED. ON ONES OTHER THAN ONESELF. WHEN YOU ARE MISERABLE. DON'T POST ABOUT HOW NOTHING YOU ARE. GO TO ALTERNIA. AND MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL WORSE. #PROTIP.
... I'LL CONSIDER THIS. MAYBE.
A ROOM FULL OF LITERAL SHIT-SWARMING FLIES WOULD BE LESS ANNOYING THAN THIS MANY TIMECLONES OF YOU IN ONE SINGLE, POORLY VENTILATED BLOCK. IF THERE'S A CAN OF RAID BIG ENOUGH TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF A WHOLE COLONY OF YOU, I HOPE I CAN FIND IT IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET BEFORE YOU MULTIPLY LIKE THE MALIGNANT, SELF-REPLICATING WHORE YOU ARE. THE CONTRAST ON THIS IMAGE *DOES* GO HARD AS FUCK, THOUGH.
"MALIGNANT, SELF-REPLICATING WHORE" IS GETTING TATTOOED ABOVE MY CHUTECRACK.
let me in the megido pit i promise i'll be normal
YOU ARE LITERALLY IN THE PHOTO. UPPER RIGHT CORNER.
hahaha yeah i just wanna be back there #GoodTimes
@cerbericApostle YOU SEE. THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 0u0
DUE TO STUNNING CRITICAL RESPONSE. YOU GET ANOTHER ONE OF THESE. COME GET YOUR SLOP. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS. ONCE AGAIN. SHRIMP. #WADERBAIT #SHARKBAIT #RAGEBAIT #ALTERNIANFOOD #YUM.
*THAT. >_<
All the ones that burrow into the foundations of your hive are ſo ſlight in ſize that you may as well be eating worms. If you have had your luſus bickering in your fins about it for the paſt dozen ſweeps, I'm ſure you’d be able to underſtand my diſtaſte.
perhaps you shouldnt splay your business out on the poop deck for all to see like some kinda wwanton free showw start actin like a LADY and dont FLIRT wwith that decrepit relic hes had enough misery in his life wwithout you bein there too
࣪⊹₊˚{ MOBY GET YOUR GLANCE BUBBLES OFFFF OF MY POOP DECK IF YOURE SOOOO BOTHERED THEN!!!! }*皿*{ likeeee! its actushore-leave WAYYYY easier to mind your own gillnets than it is to stick your flippers in MINEEEE if you think about it like, ONCE! }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ + ALSO HES NOT A WIGGLER! what are you, his custodian???? iiii kinda think he WANTS me to make him miserable }9u9{ + WHO ARE YOU TO DENY HIM THAT IF THATS WHAT HE WANTS! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ hold on i didnt see this earlier }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ 1st of all i do NOT order off of the hatchling menu! 2ndly. WHO THE FOURRRRK TOLD YOU ABOUT MY BATTLE PLATTER???? }⟡A⟡{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ hehehehe! SOOOO true! if i dont keep my horns up, howwww would i be able to feed you these cute little bites of basking shark paté???? }6u6{ say ahhhh! <3 <3 <3 <3 }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ dont look at any of those comments from your descendant, bee tee glubs }._.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
that is for me to knoww and for you to find out
he's just jealous. pay no mind to the boy and his chattering. you havwe more important things to do. like delicately wvwiping the basking shark pate off the side a my cheek after your spoon graces it on its wvway to its mark.
࣪⊹₊˚{ EXCUUUUSE MEEEE???? whats THAT supposed to mean!!!! }*A*{ }*A*{ }*A*{ }*A*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ WAAAAIT! youre SO right! holllld stilll! }ᰔ7ᰔʃƪ }ᰔ7ᰔʃƪ }ᰔ7ᰔʃƪ }ᰔ7ᰔʃƪ #booking-our-resurfvation #as-we-glub }˚₊⊹ ࣪
I've finished getting ready to visit the #Guttercade. See you soon. ::::) // Edit 8y @twiceAnnihil8d!! <3
girl.
We've long since esta8lished that I'm a woman, yes... Is something amiss, Cronus?
you belong in a straitjacket vwith a bod that insane.
you are gorgeous and probably over dressed for bowling. wait the guttercade is a bowing ally right? am i remembering that correctly?
awesome
c< lOOKiN gOOd! >c
Whenever I forget that you have a way with words, you remind me again.
Why, thank you! Yes, you can go 8owling there. There are other games, though. ::::)
oh yeah? i guess i haven't read the ads enough.
by davwey jones' most abominable locker. the sirens of old couldn't hold a lit candle to your vwisage of radiance. i'm sure you already knowvw that but nevwer let me be denied the chance to echo the truth or a maidens pointed ears. i still havwe a fewvw bite marks i trace my fingers ovwer, you knowvw. they'vwe almost closed.
c< sHOut Out 2 tHe ONe dualscar wHO fOugHt Me yOu cOOl as fucK, we gOtta get driNKs sOMetiMe! >c
margaritas or human fermented wvwheat ales only. no ipas.
c< alrigHt, wOrKs 4 Me! iM persONally a vOdKa Or ruM KiNda wOMaN, sO, NO wOrries ON tHat frONt >c
... Watching this event is forcing me to acknowledge that dangerous women aren't the only type that I have.
3833 < Dangerous men? 3833 < Pawt)(etic Men? 3833 < Pawt)(etic Women? 3833 < I n33d details for s)(ipping!
Yes, precisely.
3833 < O)( okay, mewr a freak 3833 < I respect mew
Upon further review, I've come to the conclusion that human 8eds aren't quite as dura8le as I thought. I was under the impression that oak was, argua8ly, amongst the top contenders for the 8est possi8le options for a frame. How laugha8le of me to 8elieve that. The mattress met the same f8. I need a new one. ::::(
No one said anything a8out that!!!!!!!! I'm not in the market for collecting Amporas. One Dualscar is enough.
it vwas implied.
That was all you. Do not 8lame me for the places your thinkpan wanders off to.
wvhen youre the one playing at being a wvill-o-the-vwisp? okay toots, act dumb.
Good to know that's how you perceive me. ::::)
vwould you rather be perceivwed as something other than a tricksy fairy stringing along handsome fellas like me, making me dance to your tune?~
Do you truly find me that devious? I'm flattered.
i see you as the type to get off to me calling you devwious, yeah.
Oh, that's not what I said. ::::)
;)
The ideal bedroom experience is going at it so hard that I'm unable to talk until the morning after, whether it be from actually stressing out my vocal chords or other means. #nsfw
#needdat
hell fuckinh yess
In the end, we couldn't come to an agreement on which dress I'd wear, not that it mattered much. My visit to the Felt Manor was as unexpected as it was unforgetta8le. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. ::::) Here's my contri8ution to #MaidDressMonday.
I liked that little trick you pulled at Rose's cookout. Let's talk soon. ::::)
good fucking mercy. someone havwe mercy on an old pusher. it ticks towvwards an imploding death just looking at this wvwoman. do you need a foot rub? or perhaps a large man that can carry you so you don't havwe to trouble yourself wvwith wvwalking?
There you are. I was 8eginning to wonder if you'd somehow wandered off someplace far from my corner of paradox space... Did I scare you off? We 8oth know that mercy isn't my style, dear Orphaner. 8ut do feel free to 8eg me for it; I don't tire of hearing that from you. As I won't of having you pick me up now and then. :::;)
holyshit...
Hello to you too, Roro. Is something amiss? ::::)
just enjoyin the view, maam ;)
Aw, I'm glad it pleases you. I've 8een thinking of wearing this more often. Perhaps you'll get to admire it in person sometime. :::;)
not at all. i'm old, you see. i havwe trouble remembering to check my palmhusk or my comms, from time to time. nevwer let yourself think you havwe scared me off. i don't scare. i simply get too wvwounded to stand, and once i muster back up the strength i stand again. i can beg, but not in comments. i like the wvway that outfit looks on you, although it's a little bit servwile. don't get me wvwrong, my mind is racing to the things wvwe can do wvwith you as my "maid"- but i think i'd truly enjoy more the sight of you and your seductivwe legs atop a throne. blood, skulls, or perhaps just the cold metal of order. powvwer. the kind i knowvw you harbor inside you like a spider harbors silk behind her spinnerets.
You do look good when you're 8leeding 8eneath me. Stunning. And, as interesting as that sounds... Perhaps that is something we shouldn't discuss here. We'll see a8out making your fantasies come true in priv8, hm? Let's leave something to the imagination, dear. It's how we met, remem8er?
as alwvways, the lady is right. your grandeur and sensibilities are as rich as your blood. i remember that taste. tastes quite nice. i'vwe got a little bite mark on my shoulder that misses you.
If you have enough free time to shove your snort 8arrel in someone else's quadrants, that's a sign you should 8e more focused on filling your own, if not improving your performance so that the aforementioned 8ed partners aren't disappointed each and every time.
god damn right!
I'd rather stay far away from it, I cannot 8e held responsi8le for what I'd do if he were to pester me too much. :::;)
and here we have aranea spittin facts.
I've 8een known for doing that, yes. Happy to o8lige. ::::)
evweryone wvwould do damn wvwell to listen to the lady. in fact, bend your ear a bit and learn from her advwice more if your quadrants are suffering. and not suffering in the fun wvway, that is.
My! Such fervor. I'm touched.
Are you going to do something a8out that or should I?
you can't trick me. it's a false question. im going to do something about it but you're going to be the one making me, therefore it'll be you doing something about it. either wvway, i find myself personally ovwer joyed. i can be on my wvway to do something about it, or you can transportalize yourself here wvwith me. wvwhen wvwas the last time you stood on soft sand and sipped a salt rimmed bevwerage?
I've presented you with yet another conundrum, hm? I can't deny that I enjoy watching you struggle, it's all part of the fun when you 8reak free. Hm... That's a gr8 question. When, indeed? I'll 8e there shortly. ::::)
yknoww i realized somethin i nevver uploaded the covver edition a my photo for cosmocean a feww months back perhaps megido may suffered for it its a charmin throwwback to my smooth chin era dont you think #fitcheck #gpoe #cosmocean #magazines
࣪⊹₊˚{ UGHHHH!!!! #fourkingunbaleenable #innerempress #cullerscall #UGHHHHGILL }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ +4 hicapoints }.-.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
its a prodigious fuckin masochist that declares defeat as soon as possible so he can fast forwward to the penalty lashings youre a depravved wwretch in all univverses and i think thats beautiful actually for this perceivved loss and as a gift to all aspirin ponyfreaks across all creation i permit you to imagine me slappin a saddle on your grotesquely muscular back and ridin you across the prairie #suggestivve
if you had to estimate howw much data do you thinks taken up on your palmhusk by zoomed in images a my gills
wwhat does this mean
NOT ENOUGH.
D --> h D --> h D --> Thank you D --> Thank you D --> Now say "you would win any competition"
Shit i never saw this Yeah y0u l00k g00d whatever
stayin still eyes closed let the wworld just pass me by pain pills nice clothes if i fall i think ill fly touch me midas make me part of your design none to guide us i feel fear for the vvery last time #lyricpost #fitcheck #doeserisolo #theanswwersyes
motherfucker's makin' a list and checkin' it twice with that beard. the fuck.
suddenly i know where all that violet fairy dust at the labs came from...
ought to be harvvestin that shit for use in cosmetics and medicine
hmmmmmm.........!
is this a reference to somethin someone vversed in primitivve old earth rustic folklore tell me if im meant to be offended
wvell its confirmed: the crockercorp pr machine hates rustbloods. someone go cancel janey or something. there vwas a good turn out for aradia, including by the wveird vwhite guy himself, but it just vwasnt enough. jane movwes on! sorry rae rae. up next, the handmaid, the demoness, the scariest bitch on alternia, up against the heiress, the wvitch, the svweetest lil thing on alternia, feferi peixes! this propaganda is also #nsfwv for real. wvote belovw, vwhos hot, wvhos not? #cronusbabeoff <3 or <> for feferi <3< or c3< for the handmaid
#VOTEMARA. #VOTEORDIE. #VOTEMARAORDIE.
WWHAT
right? i wvas surprised there wvas a pic of em too.
WHY AM I WEARING A COLLAR IN THE PICTURE. AND WHY DID THEY GIVE ME HUGE GLOBES. I MEAN NORMAL GLOBES. JUST AS GOOD AS MY EXISTING SETUP. WHICH IS PERFECTLY ADEQUATE.
either youre her pet in this, or youre both pets for some offscreen vwiolet. and uhh. plastic surgery? space magic? dunno. #nsfwv
anybody wwho does not vvote for fef is a fuckin empty panned numb skull
W)(at.
W)(at did you fucking VOT-----E. 38|
You are t)(e ONLY SAN----E person on t)(is post I can trust. By t)(e way.
he vwoted good, dont you vworry your pretty lil head.
🌹 Reminiscing ⬡n last wipe's #fishingfriday. Such incredible times were had. The vig⬡r⬡us thrusting ⬡f ⬡ur r⬡ds was s⬡mething t⬡ beh⬡ld. @cerbericAp⬡stle - MC R⬡se🌹
That \/\/\/\/eird'n in the back is starin' at m's-o-o-ul.
indeed, chairman, i dare say the wvwavwes wvwe wvwere making in that poor lake wvwould havwe scared all the fish awvway wvwere it not for the beautiful bait wvwe had found betwvween us. i still remember the wvway it felt to look you in the eyes like a man and put my squiggly wvworm in your hand. fish on!