Eridan Ampora
@cthonicAspirations
twwelvve and a half swweeps | "recently" revvivved | blitherin annoyin meat heads dni | dm me for wwarhammer mini comms
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA. This is a name that has become all too common in the dream bubbles, however you have long left the dream bubbles out of the torturous stagnation that is everyone you ever knew and everyone they are related to trapped in the same echo chamber of juvenile drama and obviously you are above such things. You reside on a form of EARTH, one inhabited by trolls, humans and carapacians alike. You found a hivestem by the sea in the TROLL TERRITORIES and plan to stay here. You have recently delved into a concerning number of nerdy hobbies, such as MAGIC THE GATHERING, FIDUSPAWN, DUNGEONS & DRAGONS and WARHAMMER 40K. Most of these are human-born, but you played their Alternian variants, such as LAIRS & LUSII, when every sweaty deodorant-allergic waste of space was still in human diapers, and not the kind they wear to the game store. You have been instrumental in spear heading the translation of these game systems to Alternian and introducing other trolls to such games so as to BETTER the GENE POOL of the player base. Lamentably, you do still speak to the HUMAN GODS of this Earth and have been known to dabble in the CULT OF HOPE. You still enjoy HISTORY and it's many scrutinies, all academic and larped forms of warfare and aquatic memorabilia. You purposefully steer clear of wizards as it is a touchy subject that you find yourself gravitating more towards with each passing mention of it like a dangerous and addictive huffing substance. your new handle since having this fresh start at life is cthonicAspirations and you type in a manner befittin of a royal prince vviolet of a great and once dead empire a alien wwarmongers. https://i.imgur.com/K13it6g.jpeg
and noww a passage i havve chosen for you all pulled out of the recovvered tome of a gallant and revvered knight of conquest, a hero of old alternia the gwwynvvere "Upon one night, my lady, thou dost drivve me to madness. Thou makest me furious, picking apart the little things I say or the manner of my dress. It maketh me yearn to run thee through! Some nights I lie awwake, haunted by thy face, and I cannot sleep. On nights like those, I find myself resolvving to givve thee a piece of my mind. I implore my courage to come wwith me, and I march to thy hivve to tell thee evverything I think is so deeply, deeply wwrong wwith thee. And then โ mine eyes meet thine. By my troth, fair maiden, mine eyes doth lose the battle, and my heart payeth the price of the wwar levvies full dearly. In this wwar, I wwavve the wwhite flag of surrender โ for thy face is too comely, thy hair too shining as spun silk, and thy undergarments too scant and tempting for a knight of honour to wwithstand. I answwer thee wwith Yes, my mate? WWhat dost thou require, my mate? and brace myself for the day ahead, as a vvassal before the lists." #poetry #flushromance #pitchromance #lightreading #suggestivve #archaic #finterature
did you evven read it i bet you did not evven read the poetry howw about you showw the gwwynvvere some respect for his craft i mean is this not so relatable
you knoww wwhat make me
:33 < you will b3 s33ing m3 in your dm soon th3n purrr :3
Si7 wi7h me. Ge7 real quie7 righ7[๐๐๐JACKPOT๐๐๐] now. Look a7 me. I do no7 give a shi7 wha7 you do or do no7 do. My advice is jus7 7ha7[๐๐๐JACKPOT๐๐๐]: advice. And s7op vagueing 7he chicks you like wi7h poe7ry you didn'7 even wri7e!!!!!!!
okay you are just jealous clearly wwhen wwas the last time katchi serenaded you wwith some poetry at least the shit i dig up is better then the bars he wwrites all you havve to do is ask
???????[โโโJACKPO7โโโ][โโโJACKPO7โโโ][โโโJACKPO7[๐๐๐JACKPOT๐๐๐]โโโ]
is there supposed to be a cha ching somewwhere in here or wwas i supposed to just read betwween the lines
You los7 all your money. 7he machine a7e i7[๐๐๐JACKPOT๐๐๐] all.
WWHAT THAT IS NOT HOWW A JACKPOT FUCKIN WWORKS GIVVE IT BACK
lame. do you have more of these???????
#mybunny <3
ay michi im not a monster!! i was careful not 2 break skin...
BX33 < awww ok fair fair lmeow
WWWWOAH
#mybunnies
oh i should have s(rolled down like. four more posts. damn
!!!!
i'm going to pick you up and kiss you until you forget how to walk. <3
dsfnsdjuhuwewf ok!!!!!!!!!
whoops, i forgot this. :)
เฃชโนโห{ IF THEYRE ACTING LIKE THEY CANT SEE YOUR BODY GLITTER THEN STRIKE THEM DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWNNNN, BESTIE!!!! \}โกOโก{/ \}โกOโก{/ YOU DONT KNOW WHAT MERCY IS! NO ONE TOOK THE TIME TO TEACH YOU!!!! \}โกOโก{/ \}โกOโก{/ }หโโน เฃช
gill are you okay
sheโs LITERALLY radiant.
mm. yeah she is isnt she not askin anythin else
I always wear extra, to make sure they can see it in the stands~.
เฃชโนโห{ + IT WORKS!!!! iiii can see your body glitter, sir hektor! }โก7โกสฦช under all the #blood sometimes, too!!!! }หโโน เฃช
เฃชโนโห{ oh my gosh. thats LITERALYYYY true! \}*7*{/ \}*7*{/ #yessss }หโโน เฃช
เฃชโนโห{ okay.... but why naut }._.{ }หโโน เฃช
I would be simply mortified if I was caught without it~. What is a warrior, if he does not shimmer~?
because one, honestly none'a my business, twwo, i feel like if i keep askin i might get attacked if i do keep askin lol stay shiny n gleamin n have a good friday evve o7
yknoww the thing about a shark shes got lifeless eyes black eyes like a dollโs eyes wwhen she comes after ya she doesnโt seem to be livvin until she bites ya and those black eyes roll ovver wwhite and then awwww then you hear that terrible pitch screamin the ocean turns red and in spite of all the poundin and the hollerin she comes in and rips ya to pieces #vvaguepost #pitchpoetry
เฃชโนโห{ iiii think you were only pretending to play it vague four this 1! }โกuโก{ NIIICE TRYYYY THOUGH! }~7~{ }~7~{ }~7~{ #dobettanexttime }หโโน เฃช
your fins are glossy beyond compare your teeth are sharp and predacious your gills are flush wwith prestigious and royal affluence and your hair shines like the highest crests a the wwavves under the expanse a the first mornin lights
does anybody else get extremely and concernedly aroused wwhen pretty girls stare at them wwith absolutely nothin on their big old dead eyes
SHE ROLLED TWWO FLIPPIN 20S IN A ROWW I THOUGHT IT WWAS A GOOD TIME
i swwear you take one phone call in the middle of a steamy pitch date and all of a sudden she is diggin her nails into the vveins atop your hands so hard you may as wwell havve permanent nail shaped scar marks noww #vvaguepost #pitchproblems
เฃชโนโห{ oh my GOD! are you fourking serious right now? youre REELYYYY going to get up in the middle of our {nl}LARP date to go + whimper on your shellphone to some guy that ISNT EVEN HERE right now???? }*็*{ UGH! we havent even ROLLED anything yet! \}โก็โก{/ #whatthefluke #hicacontent #violethysteria #unbaleenable }หโโน เฃช
This is s0 sad hica y0u need t0 kill him
๐ช?
Sigh. I know I would never disrespect your time like that (although i have never done any kind of larping) ๐
help me help me help me help me help me hel
i mean kelp me haha am i right
forget all of that ignore that listen to me here noww i had to attend an extremely important shellphone call my dear spade trust me wwhen i say that it wwas a the utmost importance i continued our flarp night in utmost professional status and evven aided you in scoring that kill streak against the young dragon marauders you remember that right it isnt proper to disembowwel someone wwhen they helped you kill marauders is it
Don't forget! If you walk into an innately competitive scene and bring something you threw together based purely on vibes, your ability to have fun is purely decided by how much you're prepared to never take a single game!
I'm sorry, did I ask for your approval? >_<
whine more bitch it's really cute
It's very funny that you think what I'm doing constitutes whining. But the pitch flirting is appreciated all the same~
ewwwww lmfaooo are you even a troll
I'm a non-human from an Earth. What does it matter to you?
it doesn't tbh you're kinda worthless
Bold calling me worthless when I'm one of Kalnia-sama's best assets. My worth is, objectively, through the roof.
a nerd too
As I should be! I'll never be able to fully repay Her for saving my life, but being a genius helps make me more useful to Her!
ok i'm doing myself a favor and ending the conversation here lmao
{ god i wish that were me โโ
-- amorousChanteuse [AC] has attached an image.png -- [Roro's face is faintly illuminated by the glow of the phone. Sitting atop his back is Cami, posing with her arm outstretched to capture both of them on the floor. Her free hand is holding the shaft of her weapon, using the flat of the gold spear to rest helpfully against Roro's cheek, propping his face up into frame. She's visibly in better shape compared to him - flushed from the initial strike while he.. sports furious hand-marks on his face, scrapes on his chest, and pink glossy marks all across his skin. There's a furious crinkle of her nose, still smiling prettily while he looks dreamily at the camera. In the background, the screen of his fridge is shattered.] i think i found my new album cover!!!!!!!! <3 #suggestive #<3<? @tipsyGlamour
alright alright howw about you reel it in before your embarrass me in public so fuckin much that i am forced to skewwer you in your owwn spear i am no dog i am a hound a destruction and a force a nature i just happen to enjoy a good and tasteful beating and support people wwho kick other peoples ass
donโt threaten me ever again.
wwho do you think you are talkin to
someone whoโs gonna be purple in the face when i choke him with his own scarf if he says some pendejadas like that again!!!!!!!!! >:(
for your information it is vviolet i implore you to come try
bigot
try??? do i look like a vampire to you????????
OMG.
no but you do look like a girl wwho is biting off more than she can cheww
i know exactly what i can handle. two of you and more. do NOT flatter yourself!!
it took 5 hours and i passed out twice but here's your coquito, babe. <3 https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4400286a99f3.jpg #nsfw #suggestive
hm?
oh i get it. hm.
vwhat s0me glazed d0nuts i paรed 0ut making 4 y0u?
i am bored and i am in the mood to rate people according to a system i havve recently become obsessed wwith magic the gatherin comment under this post if you wwant me to assign you a magic card that i think encompasses your vvibe i am going to ATTEMPT to not use these blasted crossovvers but it is sorta inevvitable so wwe wwill see
You really got swarmed, 8ut you should have expected that. So many people here have hungry egos to feed.
do me.
wwoah second time someone says that to me gettin a little hot under the collar here id do you any time but sure lets try this card out https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/46db888aed0e.wwebp
trust me, eri. i wouldnโt be asking for it that way. :) also, pick a cuter one, this one looks boring!!!
UGH FINE here you go then take your cuteness bomb and be happy https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/cf2e13a876b3.wwebp
are you, like, holding back the baddies???? am i not worthy of being a baddie? ugh, i give up. these picks suck. >:(
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING fine fine fine i am rippin my fuckin hair follicles out you are the only one wwho hates your picks HERE see the colors evven fuse to make pink noww you go and try to tell me she is not a baddie https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9273efabcd08.wwebp
biting my fingernail rn. hehe. i like this a lot, eri. good job!!
fuck thats annoyingly cute
youโre the annoying one!!
this is me by the wway if anyone evven cares https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/93e7d81ed7a4.jpeg
they get pregnant btw.
DELETE THIS VVILE WWOMAN THEY ARE JUST DOIN THEIR MANLY DUTY RAISIN THE YOUNG OKAY IT IS HONORABLE AND COOL
u in due time: ๐ซ teehee.
no no no no no no no no no okay do not let the leijons see this there is this one avvid caterwwauler she wwould NEVVER let this go
casual sex is great, its the competitiwve sex you need to wvatch out for. im talking vwhen people start 8ragging a8out howv much casual sex they havwe. and not in the cool vway, telling stories of your sexcapades, 8ut the "im 8etter than ewveryone 8ecause i havwe 17 girlfriends" thats wvhere its getting pathetic. and thats not casual sex either 8uddy. #nsfvw
If y0ure dating them its aut0matically n0 l0nger casual, n0?
remember tx use dispxsable barriers. yxu knxw. in case xne xf yxur seventeen matesprits has picked sxmething up frxm their seventeen kismesiseseses. #yuck. #safepail. - xx
yeah yeah, tell that to the ones that actually tie them dovwn. 8esides, i said girlfriend, not matesprit. and i dont need to vwear a disposa8le 8arrier, the 8roads prefer to really feel it
sigh. see yxu fxr yxur next piss test. - xx
is it really #fishfuckfriday
FUCK MY CHUM LIFE wwait wwhy wwhat happened did one a us fuck up and say somethin uncouth
Unchained gh0sted me s0 im mad n0w
oh okay yeah that makes sense actually
First time 'm 'earin' about it...!
wwell wwhat do you think about it i mean surely you do not wwant to ignore such a sacred and cherished holiday and leavve a poor fish unattended i am joking mostly does it pique your interest
Um-- well, gosh. It IS rather curious, is it not? So many festive Fridays...!
oh yes yeah so many reasons to celebrate i mean it cannot be so wwrong to seek to havve some fun on a friday speakin of vvestra is it? i am unfamiliar wwith you but if you are unfamiliar wwith me may i suggest you come ovver for this #fishfuckfriday and wwe perhaps can get to knoww each other better tea maybe and some scones nothin else a course just celebratin life
oh okay im still eridan call me that but yes perhaps you should dm me wwith your univversal coordinates for my transportalizer
๏ผผ(=^โฅ^)// < OMGOMGOMG! MOG!!! WHY DIDN'T ANYPAWDY TELL ME THAT HUMANS HAD THEIR OWN FURSION OF "POST-PUPAL HOWLFIEND"??? I F33L LIKE I'M GOING TO START CLAWING AT THE WALLS FROM THIS NEW REVELATION! (=๏ผใง๏ผ=) < THESE HUMAN ACTORS... OMGM. I CAN'T. THEY'RE JUST SO CUTE AND GAY AND PERF. AND GAY!!! โ(=^โฅ^=)โ I'M GOING TO START YOWLING AT THE SINGULAR PINK MOON ABOUT IT!!!!!! #F33LS #I-CANT-EVEN
7H47 5H30W 5UCK5 Y0U 5H0DUDL W47CH "1N WH1CH 4 57RUGGL1NG 5CH00LF33D1NG M3N70R WH0 H45 F4LL3N FR0M GR4C3 F1ND5 0U7 H3 H45 UL71M473 D373R10R4710N C3LL 5YNDR0M3 4ND D3C1D35 70 C4P174L1Z3 0N H15 5C13N71F1C KN0WL3DG3 8Y M41N574G0MG 4 CRY574LL1Z3D DRUG 3MP1R3 4ND 455UM1NG 4 5H4D0WY D0U8L3 L1F3 45 7H3 C0L0NY'5 M057 RU7HL355 DRUG PU5H1NG CR1M3L0RD" W17H M3 1N5734D
(^./_.^) < AS IF I COULD EFUR TRUST YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE SUBTLE DYNYANMICS BETW33N A BEAST-SHIFTER AND THE POSSESSED PALE-ADJASCENT FRIEND THAT HE KNOTS. #AS-A-FRIEND ใฝ(^โฅ^=ใ) < THIS SHOW ISN'T FOR GUYS LIKE YOU! IT'S FOR GIRLS LIKE ME! OBVIHISSLY!!! (=๏ฝฯยด=) < BESIDES, I'VE ALREADY S33N THAT SHOW ABOUT THE MEOW MEOW METH TRADE. (^ใปฯใป^) DO YOU WANT TO S33 MY MAIKHE x WALTUH KINK MEME FILLS? I HAVE AN ENTIRE BINDER DEDICATED TO THEM! AND SOMETIMES... I EVEN LET WALTUH TOP! โ(=^โฅ^=)โ โ(=^โฅ^=)โ
3R3W3U3GHH3 UGH N0 WHY 7H3 FUCKCJG W0ULD 1 W4N4N5 533 RH47N!!!!!!!!! 0K4Y 5H0W M3 D0 7H3Y FUCKG CR4ZY N4DX7UY 57YL3
ONEGAI PLEASE DM ME THE OLD MAN YAOI. PLEASE ITโS URGENT.
๐ณ yo... they got human yao1? that's crazy... maybe 1 gotta check th1s show out somet1me...
(=^ฯ^=) < HI, DAMAWRA!!! I TRIED TO SEND THE FULL CATCHE OF #OLD-MAMMAL-SMUT TO YOU ON TROLLIAN, BUT THE WHOLE THING WAS TOO BIG TO SEND ON ITS OWN! ใฝ(=^๏ฝฅฯ๏ฝฅ^=)ใ < SO I CRAFTED A SPARE 333-TERABITE HARD DRIVE TO SEND TO WHEREFUR YOU MIGHT BE! IF YOU SEND ME YOUR BEST TRANSPORTAILIZER ADDRESS, I CAN SEND YOU MY MOST RECENT LITTER OF #MANIMAL-x-MANIMAL FICS IN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS OR SO!!! โ(=^โฅ^=)โ
T_T IโM ON THE STUPID FUCKING GREEN MOON. LIKE ALWAYS. BECAUSE GOD HATES ME.
(^-ไบบ-^) < OH... RIGHT... โ(=^โฅ^=)โ < WELL, DON'T WORRY! I DOUBT ANYNYAN IN YOUR FUZZY GR33N CATHOUSE UP THERE WOULD WANT TO SWIPE YOUR MAIL! ESPECIALLY IF ANY PAWRCEL THAT CAME FOR YOU CONHISSTED EXCLUSIVELY OF OLD!GAY!MAMMAL SMUT WITH ONLY GUY-ON-GUY SHIPS!!! (=๏ฝฯยด=) < DON'T WORRY, DAMRAWRA. YOUR MAIL'S PROBABLY _MUCH_ SAFER THAN YOU THINK IT IS. #BE-PAWSITIVE
OH ANONCHAN. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
being a 10/10 is a state of mind more than a ph7si(al thing an7wa7s.
no one rate me or so help me i wwill scream
i bet it wwas painful for you not to type out 2/10 wwasnt it mr broken pan
no iit wa2 actually pretty 2atii2fyiing 2iince ii'd never let 2omethiing that look2 liike you get that number.
I SAID DONT RATE ME STOP DOIN THAT SHIT oh this is vvile comin from another me wwhere the hell are you pointin that sub optimal ratin at
you wwant me to givve you the satisfaction a ratin you back so much but the truth a the matter is that i do not care about you nearly enough to put you on my scale plus knowwin you you wwould probably get your sticky honey excrements and bo all ovver my nice scale
thats pretty good showwin for an eridan one point wwas dedcuted for complainin about a trend an fallin into the obvvious pitfall of bein made an unwwillin participant in it
fuck good point i still reject the entire notion a this stupid trend i mean let us both be honest wwith each o ourselvves wwe wwere ratin ourselvves and others before it wwas cool that is wwhat it means to be a hipster it is not my fault my evvery wword attracts sol to me like a buzzard
whatever you 2ay 1.9.
sometimes youvve just gotta stand in front a the firin squad an not givve the crowwd a showw
couldnt hear you ovver the spittle you flung at your keys there
is evveryone seriously ratin themselvves on a scale a one to ten unless this is some kinda wweird self confidence exercise (wwhich is a vvery odd thing to make public broadcast) that is some stuff i wwoulda dowwnright expected other mes to do seems vvery moronic chittr speeds rapidly evvery day towwards an unpleasant ouroboros
wwell sure good point but it is not like i can stop the ones wwho hate on me from commentin on my posts i mean this is a free platform to all but you knoww i think i can agree on one thing seems you are wworth keepin around non judgemental i appreciate that quality
actually it wwould havve been funnier if i replied to this post sayin ill havve you knoww i nevver feed my thoughts
nevver i got my thoughts chained up in a fuckin basement wwaterboardin them occasionally i wwill nevver feed my thoughts
wwhat do you suggest
instructions unclear i purchased gladiatorial armor on eflay does that count
nice try not that easy i just polished it it is still gleamin
wwell i dunno use your imagination
alright sure yeah i do
nuh uh you first
yeah maybe a little are you