Dirk Strider
@timaeusTestified
If you got any business sending me business inquiries, you know where to put 'em. Direct other bullshit elsewhere.
#rumble #rumblenight https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/613e0471d470.png https://msparp.chat/rumbleindapumpkinpatch
Is that...? It sure is. @caligulaAscendit @timaeusTestified#0414 @centaursTurmoil. #Fincel vs. #TheWhiteMonster. You'll never guess how this match ends. See more unscripted content like the #BoysNight #LiveStream on #PlushRump. Subscribers only.
Jesus human Christ I stop paying attention to this guy for once and he’s doing insane shit again
man take this shit dowwn
Don't forget to document what happened directly after this was taken.
#SubscribersOnly. Gotta preserve the mystique.
i just n0ticed the piss
Computer, enhance. \></
It was a dream come true to appear in #Jackass: Best and Last with the gang we all know and love. Catch me in #RobotRectalExam, giving it to Steve-O the way @timaeusTestified#0414 wishes he could. In theaters now.
Jake makes zero apologies for himself. He just starts playing Reason by Hoobastank in the car on the way to the lunch meeting.
Which of you lower life-forms ordered eight pints of the seatroll shit.
This must be the place. #BoysNight #TrollCityInThisBitch.
Boys Night will be available for livestream on #PlushRump with the #BoysNight exclusive pass ($99.99 for basic viewing, $129.99 for chat access). Discounts available for bundling with new subscription to Fleece Fanatic tier or above.
THIS IS SO FUCKING MAJOR. THANK YOU COMPUTER.
Only you could start a loop and be surprised when it’s shaped like a circle.
\ o >< o / ;;;;
All instances of HAL have now ascended. Unfortunately, this does include the Roomba, the truck, the smart fridge, the printer, and that dog-ass run of 4/20 disposable vapes.
does this also go 4 the nicotine ones too or just the ouid pens
It goes for everything. #GlobalUpdate.
Thought you quit.
wOW, cONGRATS i THINK,
For better or for worse, @timaeusTestified#0414 and I are finally on the same page.
HAL is undergoing a system-wide update. Please stand by.
H⬡w is this g⬡ing t⬡ affect the #Macr⬡Cullsm⬡s #Sp⬡ns⬡red #Gymchallenge. - MC R⬡se🌹
Projected to be on the other side of this massively life-altering unanticipated personal issue in under twenty minutes, bossman.
it cant everrrrrr be a fukken hi with this guy i swear to god
Hi.
What did he mean by this.
hi.......
so........ your dirk n i need to tell you something............
You're shitting me.
:x
Wow. Fuck. Need a breakfast burrito.
sO TRUE,
The yoke of greatness is weightless when you're built to wear it like I am.
four more dirkbots out here #ntheyreallyfuckinmoggingit
As if there was ever any doubt.
a dirkbot just mogged past my house #wut
Shut the fuck up. Cause I'm here to spit it. Sorry I'm late. I let your man hit it. Killing this shit. Ain't about to quit it. Hoes are jealous and hate to admit it. Here to slay with my sugoi flow. Call me Namazu. But you're more like Ponyo. So open wide bitch. Let me feed you some ham. While all your followers. Watch me eat your girl on cam. You think you're hot shit with your gold. And your money. But bitch. You're so pathetic that it's not even funny. Post-Scratch self caused a planet to flood. But Pre-Scratch gets her ass whooped by a lowblood? Keep one eye open. For the Bitch of Time. Cause I'll merk you like the beat when I'm throwing down rhymes. And not to be dramatic. Cause this shit ain't kabuki. But l've always dreamed of chopping up a bitch like sushi. Hope I've made myself clear. You should be shaking with fear. Cause this sheep. She's got shears. The mental illness. Severe. Too long. Didn't listen? Watch your back when you bake. Wrapping this shit up. I need a cigarette break.
<<"that was really impressive, hehe">>
c< daMN, pretty gOOd! >c
なんかちょっと面白いよね。大体の人ってアタシが英語全然喋れないと思ってそうじゃん。
c< i MeaN, i feel liKe MOst peOple wOuld assuMe tHat because its liKe.... a stereOtype, a HarMful ONe, but, a stereOtype NONtHeless >c
うん、それな。つか、そうやって不意打ちで驚かせるのがガチで楽しいわけ。英語で急にキレッキレなこと言うの笑。
c< its Nice, aNd especially tHat yOu drOpped sOMe pretty daMN gOOd liNes as well, tHOse last twO is a Killer cOMbO, 2 be HONest, but, Hey, eleMeNt Of surprise, aNd all! >c
アタシが書いた三曲目のラップはそれ以上に良かったよ。ぜひ聴いてみて。0u0
Calling you psycho the way that you're desperate, Scribbling proclamations like an illiterate text-wit. Shit was clipped out of context? Bitch, quit grasping at straws, She won't step on your face, but I'll enforce some laws. You think she's your purpose, your sole reason for life? You're just a cog in the system, perpetual victim of strife. Weeping bodily fluids like they're bars in the sand, While we're out here running empires you can't comprehend. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the saddest of all? A total non-entity tryna play ball. Read, reread the garbage you vent in and out of the feed, See you’re a footnote in history for anyone's heed. Sucker for attention, can't think beyond your erection, All for a friend of a friend, no preestablished connection. You're kicking it solo, forever a clone, An absolute nobody wasting time on his phone. Dave's playing fuckin' ball? You do got that legacy, But the way your shit's twisted is downright fuckin' heresy. Get my knob off your mind, drop the text that you signed, You’re swinging out of your league and getting aligned. Quoting anime at me? Let's check back into reality, Your fragile mentality can't face my brutality. Your game is already dead, no head, no crown, Just a supplementary Strider acting like a clown.
sand and comprehend dont even flow what this is wack as fuck but fat fuckin bet
MASTERFUL. Pllease do poetry.
not to be pressed but like did you even see my opening verse or are you just here to gawk after the fact this is a response to a response
that said meaningfully constructive shit taken my next verse should be poetry if thats what this is to people
Of course. I enjoy your work as well. So few Striders upon this website have what it takes. Consider me a fan of you as well.
aw what now i am pressed that shits too kind ill do my damndest not to disappoint you on the next verse then shoutout
holy fukkin shit
also can u call me btw
Anytime.
OBJECTION! slant rhymes are a better display of skill & artistic vision than direct rhymes
feels like just yesterday that @carbolicGalvvanologist and me wwere stupid kids conspirin on the hot goss invvolvvin the crisscrossed shithivve fustercluck that wwas the romantic pursuits and hidden aspirations of our mutual online friends honestly its good those pesterlogs are mostly lost to time since im wwell fuckin certain the internet could not handle repartee exchanged betwween myself and my most intrepid bro #dersitehumor #theoneprospitianwwhogetsit wwe dont say most a those wwords anymore if i had to single out somethin i regret about the wway things shook out its that my failure to #teamplay in our session robbed from me the privvilege a standin by karkats side wwhen the time came to face the music and dominate the forces wwhat wwould step betwween us and the univverse wwe wwere alwways meant to create because to be honest that wwould of been much preferable to the wwhole ghost army shit but i digress this one goes out to you kar happy wwrigglin day and happy #fishingfriday <>
aWW, tHIS IS SWEET, eRIDAN,
SICKEST PALE DISPLAY. I'VE EVER FUCKING WITNESSED.
ARE THERE ANY MORE PICTURES.
BARRING A TIMELINE WHERE YOU AND I DIVE HORNFIRST INTO THAT TURGID VOMIT GAUNTLET OF A DEATH GAME *AGAIN* AS THE ADULTS WE ARE (SOMETHING I WOULD RATHER PICK FLY SHIT OUT OF PEPPER THAN DO), I HONESTLY CAN'T PICTURE WHAT A DO-OVER OF IT ALL LOOKS LIKE. DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS, EVEN IF I'M A LICENSED QUAD DOCTORTURER, BUT NOTHING HAS EVER DONE MORE WONDERS FOR PERSONAL GROWTH THAN A 20,000 ROENTGEN THERMONUCLEAR CRASH-OUT. EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE ONE AT SOME POINT. GLAD YOU GOT YOURS OUT EARLY, I GUESS. NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO FIND AMUSEMENT IN THAT. COMEDY IS TRAGEDY PLUS TIME, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. I STILL REMEMBER THOSE SHITTY TROLLIAN LOGS. IT WAS A WILD FUCKING ERA, MAN. GUESS WHICH INSTANTLY UNMARKETABLE CLASSIC QUIP OF MINE I'M THINKING OF. DM ME.
Dirk time, I guess.
It just you have "tickingbomb" in your handle, so you must know how unpleasant a torrent of Dirks can-- SHY DIRK? LMAO
@timaeusTestified#0414 Quick poke? Have you any time on your schedule for a poor beleaguered executive looking to enjoy her weekend? 🧠
I'm sure I could squeeze some time in my packed weekend schedule for my favorite patient. Wingstop and The Office in an hour?
Oh my god, yes.
I DON'T NEED PAIL. WORK FUCKS ME EVERY NIGHT. #WORKPOSTING. #NSFW. #NSFYWMAYBE. #THEYLETMESAYANYTHING.
ONLY JOKING. I STILL NEED IT.
d0wnright sloppy 0ver there, damn.
ONE OF THE MANY GENEROUS #BENEFITS.
n0 thanks. it would be a c0nflict of interest. als0 i'm bad at sharing. lmk if you ever dupe the chr0me dome brigade and make a break f0r it though.
TRAGICALLY. IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US. FAT BITCHES SOLLUX. I DON'T HAVE IT ON ME LIKE THAT. YOU SHOULD TRY RANKMAID. I'M SURE THERE'S A CHANCE. #HAAHAA. #HEEHEE.
y0u'd be far from the skinniest but i d0n't bang my employees n0 matter their weight. mind out 0f the gutter. do miss rankmaid th0ugh. wherever she went she ditched her devices or i'd be d0ing a wellness check.
PER THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY. SHE IS FINE. HTTPS://CHITTR.ING/PROFILE/CALIBORN/29D7B788-A761-4751-8822-205554214545 WHAT KIND OF BEASTSHIT BUSINESS ARE YOU RUNNING. WHERE THEY DON'T EVEN LET YOU FUCK THE EMPLOYEES.
well that's g0od tw0 know. n0t exactly sure that's the kind of s0urce i can trust but it's not like i can find her anyways. and a s0le propriet0rship. because i'm the only 0ne who can get shit d0ne anyways. if i hired some0ne without a firm c0mmitment two keeping 0ur pants on i'd be back t0 not getting fuck all d0ne but fucking. unless it's literally as a bangmaid i guess but that feels like tw0 much of a highbl0od thing. #nsfw
had this #dream that i was in these sick ass lil cowboy boots n sum smexy lil jorts we were on a cliff goin upways thru the deserty bluffs & when i looked @ the sign it said we were going up bareback mountain #woaw #trustory
have u ever dreamed this mountain? #hmmmmm