Equius Zahhak
@centaursTurmoil
Robotics engineer serving under the Alternian Empire to create mechanical drones The E%punged //all art -> @ratking-buffet on tumblr
feast your proptotic bulbs on my half of the collaboration wwith herr dirk it is rare nowwalight for a man to meet someone wwith wwhom "shootin the shit" can temporarily abate the painful throb a the chronic crotch infection called life this is no mere turd slingin rather than aimlessly flingin the poopie the pitcher hurls his fecal trinket at the marble base wwith intent evvery movve is calculated an the twwo princes find themselvves at a stalemate wwhat happens next is a fusin a souls so beyond our mortal comprehension its cherenkovvian shockwwavve is enough to blind an entire carriage a orphans or maybe evven twwo orphan carriages like evvery young nobletroll i havve alwways found myself bewwitched by the davvid paintin a troll napoleon crossin the alps it wwould be no exaggeration to say this piece has touched an rubbed an tongued evvery corner a my barren bein in many wways this neoclassical masterpiece is a lovver but it is also a friend a teacher a hero an ideal an a damn good reaction pic for pwwnin bleedin pushers online in the wwise wwords a 4chum its too late ivve already depicted you as the hoofbeast an myself as a heroic military genius @ponyPal
NO STUPID WHY AREN’T YOU LIKE, DENYING THAT YOU HAVE A FETISH TO BEGIN WITH.
:33 < I was (kinda) complimeownting mew, not (barely) insulting mew.
0︵0 HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR NOTHINGS. NO NEED TO BRING MINE INTO IT. YOU BITCH.
i been gazin at this for a spell noww and ivve not been capable of peelin my gander spheres off it evven for a moment lest i scorn the enlightened precepts and axioms masterfully implied wwith evvery brushstroke before its properly sunk in fuck im gettin emotional here wwe need this carvved into marble asap
Our nothings.
wwhat do you think motivvated napoleon to cross the alps the promise a returnin hivve to his matesprits girlstink maybe if you solidified your historical knowwledge youd realize that yesterswweeps infamous megalomaniacs wwere all ragin panty sniffers
ya but the diff between u and napoleon is that he courted joséphine intensely & didn't grovel for double chin & fupa portraits like his loser interlopers (u btw). solidify ur game and we can talk history.
wwho said anythin about grovvelin its a matter a wwavvin my empiricist holly an you wwill be as round an buoyant as my pusher desires i control your plumpness like the office psychopath controls the thermostat to keep his underlin wwet an submissivve
omfg????? cut it OUT, YOU FREAKAZOID. I DON’T WANNA BE FAT!!!! and no one is ever going to draw your deprived urges so keep DREAMING.
D --> I have been taken on as a bodyguard, accompanying a friend of mine during his trip to troll Greece D --> This trip has been D --> Eventful, to say the least D --> It has become increasingly difficult to locate a restaurant which accommodates his palette and dietary needs D --> Nevertheless I am glad to be serving beneath him
wwhy are you on your palmhusk wwhen i sent you to fetch nuggies
D --> I am sorry D --> I am waiting for them to call up the number on the ticket
0h my c0ngratulati0ns. N0t sure what s0rt 0f wimp needs a b0dyguard but in pr0ud 0f y0u!
i h0pe y0u can als0 enj0y y0ur vacati0n 0u0
nice bring it up to my block you remembered to tell the guy not to make em soggy right
D --> I made sure he made them fresh for you D --> E%tra grubsauce, as requested D --> I will bring them to your block
zahhaks are weird man just jerk yo shit you dont gotta do the saitama training routine every time you get squirmy #nsfw
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- LƗ|⟨-∊D ȺND R-∊☪︎ⴵƗ♱♱-∊D ƗMM-∊DƗȺ♱-∊LY. -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
D --> I am not doing that D --> Why are you using my hatch name to describe individuals who do that D --> I have never once alluded to doing that D --> I happen to have my own routines D --> They are certainly similar D --> Eerily so D --> But they are different
IT WAS AN UMBRELLA TERM JEGUS. is this what peoplle behave llike when they dont jerk their shit crazy stylle. this is what we're doing to our popullace. #nsfw
D --> Whenever I am stricken with undesired arousal I must find a way to e%pel that energy as fast as possible D --> If I am unable to take a cold shower D --> I will drop to the f100r D --> I will do intense sit-ups until the feelings subsides D --> I sweat, and I replace my aroused and bothered sweat with the sweat of a workout D --> The feeling will pass between the 300th and 700th sit-up, or once the cramping becomes unbearable #NoFap
D --> Not quite D --> But I do not think we will see bulb to bulb on this matter
D --> Thank you for your condemnation D --> What w001d you suggest as an alternative D --> I have tried flogging D --> Cold plunges D --> Scalding ablutions D --> Splashing my face with cold water D --> Pullups until failure D --> Electroshock therapy D --> Pushups until failure D --> And many more
D --> Hm D --> You may not like the answer I have to give, seeing as you seem to prefer to negate the issue over solving it directly D --> So I will avoid my own personal solution D --> Which is to task a maidling and/or milkboy with assisting me D --> If I am in need of a way to distract my mind, to get myself away from certain D --> Thoughts D --> I engage in hoofbeast time D --> A good hoofbeast is a behaved hoofbeast D --> Who would be scolded and scorned if he were to act on urges when it is not time D --> So I place myself in the mindset of that beast D --> Who wants only to be good D --> It brings me to a serene state of mind, a therapeutic space wherein nothing e%ists but the reality I have created in my thoughts D --> Alternatively I use the compony riding crop and deliver onto myself the number of lashings equivalent to the severity of my thoughts
D --> Hm D --> No, a maidling or milkboy are far from my preferred solution D --> However... D --> This hoofbeast time D --> It intrigues me greatly D --> A disciplined practice, to put myself in the mind of such a great trained beast D --> To be trained, to follow commands D --> I will try this D --> And the riding crop
you need to be at least a levvel 500 grand coomer before you start gettin eschatological doomsday vvisions evvery time you get an unwwanted squirmy givve up wwhile youre still ahead
D --> Visions are not my goal D --> It is restraint D --> Discipline D --> I do not intend to give up
evven east alternian drycleaners couldnt get your mold blue sap outta my couch upholstery youre not foolin anyone just cause youre suddenly gung ho about wwalkin the monastic path
D --> I told you that was an accident D --> Which I am still deeply sorry and embarrassed by D --> Humiliated D --> This is not a sudden change D --> I have attempted to hold this lifestyle for a long time now
in troll greece your indigo bodyguard wwill suddenly pull you into a cholerbear hug in public but since youre a socially awwkwward autistcel you stand there stiff as a board wwithout sayin anythin then the vvideo a you twwo hits the splinternet an suddenly evveryone an their lusus are throwwin gay accusations at you
its not gonna be funny wwhen i take those pusher shaped sunglasses an shovve them into your driest orifice
?Duh, they better be. Who wears shoes off the rack in our caste? Eugh.
Are all of you Ampora lads taking your indigo bodyguards to Troll Greece~? Is there convention or something~?
woah i haven’t even made any advances on u and we’re already skipping to dat part??
youd be surprised there are a lot a class traitors round these parts
i did it first anyone wwho says otherwwise is a connivvin prevvaricator unwworthy a their eriness anywway im here for the bilunar riflekind convvention
I would never contradict a highblood so that simply must be the case~! Did you know about the riflekind convention, @caligulasAquarium~?
D --> There is much work yet to be done D --> I have immersed myself in creation these past wipes without stopping D --> The only breaks I have granted myself have been to feed myself, relieve myself and the occasional rest D --> Still I have not yet reached a conclusion I am satisfied with
D --> This is already proving to be a long night
What's wr0ng 0n0
D --> There is nothing wrong D --> It is simply a long night D --> As winter approaches the nights grow longer
0h 0kay i see Well thats n0t s0 bad then
eri tip #527 if a foid evver hits you wwith the "i havve a boyfriend" line one up her by sayin you havve twwo boyfriends
alright, this ones actually funny.
cough cough sissy.
"Foid" is certainly a choice of words.
ok but like DON'T make the mistake a sayin her boyfriend is one a those two boyfriends this doesn't actually solve the problem an usually makes it worse especially if you really follow through on it an revenge affair with her actual boyfriend.
i wwasnt plannin on it this sounds like somethin unique to your predicament
you need neww material at least embellish the sissy accusations wwith some wworldbuilding
not my predicament i haven't had this exact predicament since 99. i'm just like addin the oped addendum to the tip.
D --> I am restrained D --> Not even my great STRENGTH can free me from this earthen bondage D --> It is tight D --> Restricting D --> Hm... D --> I cannot pull myself free D --> I will need the assistance of a STRONG highb100d to free me from this earthen bind #fantasy #entrapment #mud bondage
I'm confused, didn't you just want help getting off~?
*Out~.
aHAHA, eHE, yEAH,,,
D --> Out D --> Yes D --> Your mercy D --> As you c001d have left me in the mud
y eah i b et y ou n eed h elp. d unno i f i b elieve y ou r eeeally w ant i t e ntirely y et t hough, c an't s ay it s eems l ike y ou're t rying h ard e nough to s truggle y our w ay o ut o f t hat m ess, y ou k now?
D --> I am unable to free myself D --> The harder I struggle D --> The tighter its bondage grows D --> It has weaponized my STRENGTH against me D --> It is a rush D --> To feel weak in the hold of cold wet mud
h ah. d idn't say s truggling s hould m ean y ou g et o ut o f t hat m arinated o blong g reen g ourd y ou're in. i n f act. h onestly. i t hink y ou m ight w ant t o c onsider f ighting i t a l ittle b it h arder j ust to p rove h ow m uch y ou're a p itiful m udbug, p robably d oomed t o a sphyxiate o r s omething d own t here. o r a t l east g et s een f or e xactly w hat y ou a re a ll c aught u p i n a m ess b igger t han y ou c an p rotest a gainst. a m i w rong?
D --> Hhh... D --> You are right D --> I should fight harder D --> Thrash and struggle D --> I must prove myself worthy D --> If I cannot prove myself STRONG enough to escape D --> I will asphy%iate D --> I will choke D --> When the mud swallow me D --> And presses against my throat again D --> I will die once more D --> Like a pitiful insect D --> Mugbug D --> Scum D --> I must escape before I am humiliated D --> You are not wrong, Mr Ludhack
a ttablue. y eah i t hought n ot. l et m e k now i f y ou're e ver l ooking f or a n a ctual h elping h and i nstead o f j ust e xhibition p osting l ike a b elly u p w orm s tuck i n t he r ain a bout i t.
SOME of you guys clearly haven't ever felt the TOUCH of your best bro. The bond between MEN is so indomitable that I can't even BEGIN to describe it. You can SHAKE the bond but you can never BREAK it.
The fuck? What are you, straight?
DAWG!!! OF COURSE NOT!!! THATS VERY STRAIGHT!!!
Top ten saddest things I have ever read.
You have got to PAGE Dr. Herophilias for me, man, because I've been diagnosed with a TERMINAL case of SERIOUS CONFUSION.
THE #FELTOPENING IS FUZZY. I WOKE UP WITH THIS AS NOT ONLY MY PALMHUSK LOCK SCREEN, BUT MY HUSKTOP, MY TELEVISION LOADING SCREEN, AND SOMEHOW ALSO TAPED TO THE MIRROR IN MY ABLUTIONBLOCK. THANK YOU @GALLOWSCALIBRATOR#0701, I’M SURE YOU DIDN’T ALSO SEND THIS TO FUCKING EVERYBODY YOU KNOW. FEATURING @CENTAURSTURMOIL TOO. DON’T WE ALL LOOK SO CUTE. I AM BEING PLEASANT AND AGREEABLE, AND I WILL GENTLY LOWER A MAGNIFICENT, CORUSCATING COLUMN OF HOT FUCK YOU DOWN THE PROTEIN CHUTE OF ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/059A9C647786.PNG
HAHAHAHA. FUCK OFF, I KNOW. SO DO I. THAT’S WHY I SAID IT. WHAT’S A LITTLE NEEDLING BETWEEN ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF OURSELVES?
REMIND ME TO BRING UP THAT QUOTE ABOUT "NEEDLING" EACH OTHER WHEN THE ABCC MOVIE OF THE WIPE IS FUCKING "SAW." WE'LL SEE WHO NEEDLES WHO, THEN.
YOU WOULDN’T. I AM CLUTCHING MY PEARLS.
SEE YOU ON 10TH PERIGEE, KARKAT. #GETIN. #YOUWONTHAVEACHOICE. #YOUREMYCOHOST. #WHATAREYOUGONNADO. #CALLINSICK? #HEH.
@GALLOWSCALIBRATOR#0701 HE’S THREATENING ME WITH MY LIFE.
SOM3TH1NG SM3LLS OV3R H3R3! P33-Y3W K4RK4T STOP B31NG SUCH 4 SC4R3DY B34ST OV3R TH3 S4W FR4NCH1S3, 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 OV3R TH1S BY NOW >:/
I CAN’T WIN SHIT IN THIS WORLD.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS PEAL OF VILLAINOUS LAUGHTER WAS WELL-EARNED. I'M FILLING THE BESPOKE, WING-TIP SHOES THE FELT HAD FITTED FOR ME MORE AND MORE EACH DAY.
TELL THEM THEY NEED TO DO A BIT MORE WORK ON THE REST OF YOUR OUTFIT. IT’S LOOKING A LITTLE BAGGY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND FUCKING *HA*.
OH, YOU SPAWN OF A WHORE.
D --> Can a hoofbeast with no name truly be remembered
8=D < Thinking fondly of my dear furriends tolight...
ヽ(=^･ω･^=)ノ < D'AWWW! I HAVE A FELINE THAT SOMEBODY MIGHT MISS ME!!!
8=D < Neighbe.
8=D < Yes, quite a lot. 8=D < It has been far too long.
D --> I w001d like to apologize that I must post an image I have posted before D --> However as it is #MaidMonday I am compelled to participate D --> I enjoy dressing up as a maid servant D --> Although I do not do it often
Cuntquius...
I will, but I am thinking it. Okay? Anyway. Looks good.
D --> Fiddlesticks D --> I see... D --> I did not e%pect this image to warrant such a reaction
Would. Next question.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Oh the chest window with the shoulders showing??? you're changing the game here #itslowkeygivingmiku #kindarevolutionaryofyou #mikuwouldbeproud
D --> I intended to keep the sh001ders covered D --> However the sleeves inhibited movement too much D --> As such they had to be removed
D --> I have managed to bruise myself D --> I am not sure how, I was attempting to be gentle
D --> My posts do not often get views D --> I did not e%pect anyone to see my sin
WHAT, YOU THINK CHITTR IS SOME DIARY-TURNED-CONFESSIONAL? I’M PROBABLY GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS SO YOU DON’T GO WIELDING YOUR TYPESTUBS FOR ANY MORE SELF HUMILIATION.
D --> No D --> I am not a f001 D --> I am aware this is a social media platform D --> But I command that you tie my hands regardless D --> SO that I do not humiliate myself further
OH YOU COMMAND ME. SO THAT’S HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK? I DON’T THINK SO.
I JUST TYPED AN ENTIRE MONOLOGUE ABOUT WHY YOU COMMANDING ME TO TIE YOU UP DOESN’T MEAN JACK SHIT AS TO WHO CALLS THE SHOTS, BUT I’M NOT GONNA AIR THAT OUT. IF YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF, THEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT YOU ON A SHORT LEAD. AND IF IT HAS TO BE ME (BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IN THE GENERAL VICINITY HAS THE SHAME GLOBES), THEN FINE. BECAUSE I AM SO GRACIOUS AND CHARITABLE. #NSFW
D --> You are right, it is not the same when I am commanding another to command me D --> If you deem a short leash to be my only option so be it D --> It w001d be quite e%hilarating to be on the end of a lowb100ds leash D --> Fiddlesticks D --> I am starting to perspire again
KEEP YOUR SWEATINESS TO OUR DMS AND SPARE THE MASSES.
D --> I am e%periencing very conflicting emotions D --> On one prong I am deeply humiliated at being depicted as a hoofbeast girl D --> But on the other prong I am feeling quite aroused by the depiction, another's reaction to this post D --> I do not know how to feel D --> I may break my abstinence D --> Only tonight
｢oyasumi, minasan! (*^▽^)/ kekek~ ( ￣▽￣) megane-san brings back your teiki hōsō bangumi! (ФωФ) keh... moar #waifuification nyahw! tonight's waifu is getting... g-getting... n-nghh!! Σヽ(｀д´；)ﾉ m-megane-san's unihorno is gyoing doki doki!!! g-gyah!!! h-he can't... stoppu...｣ ｢KYAAHHHHHH!!!!!｣ ｢(∩｀Q´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ.°˖⋆ ℧ 𓃗 .°˖⋆｣ ｢...｣ ｢(゜д゜*)｣ ｢(* ゜д゜)｣ ｢i-is everynyan okie? (,,・д・)｣ ｢(* ´ ▽ ` *) a-ah!! okie, eburibody is daijobou!! e-except for...(゜ロ゜)｣ ｢(ФωФ) kekeke, konya's waifu, pone-chan @centaursTurmoil !! (* ﾟ∀ﾟ) this waifu has been hit by a supa supa speciaru waifu beamu, the umawaifu beam!!! ( ＾ω＾ ) half uma and half waifu, pone-chan is the type of gyirl that keeps you on your hooves! (*￣∇￣)ノ kekeke~ pone-chan seems like a refined and regal himedere, byut just talking to her reveals her trappu! (´u｀ﾉ)ﾉ keke, pone-chan is just as nyaughty and dirty as the oinkbeasts instead of the hoofbeasts~~ (ФωФ) this kyutiegirl definitely wears dark pantsu, with no print, if she wears any at all! (´▽｀) mature and refined, her pantsu make it seem like she has nyathing to prove! (///ω///) kekeke~~~ aahhh~ byut she wuvs the breeze against her｣ ｢f-flank!! baka, what did you think megane was gunna say!?! (￣□￣)!!｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: WARNING: THIS DOUJINSHI CONTAINS #SUGGESTIVE CONTENT! (ФωФ) gud nighto, everynyan!! (*･∀･*) teiki hōsō bangumi means regularly scheduled programming! ( -∀・) don't you knyow, you wuv to read all megane has to say! ( ≧∀≦)ノ wealth of nyah-ledge, fufufufu!!! ( ☆∀☆) konya means nighto! uma means... (*´,_ゝ｀) well... hoofybeast. (´c_｀ ) duhh. (* ´ ▽ ` *) a himedere is a kyutiegirl with a princess complex! (*￣∇￣)ノ Basically, this girl likes to be treated like she's all that, even if she's nyaht! girls like this usually wuv a common fella... (ФωФ) kekeke~ or lowblood!! ( ・ω・)]
D --> Oh god
D --> I am at a lost for words D --> You have depicted me as a beautiful hoofbeast girl, I do not know the goal here D --> Is this what people find attractive, w001d I be more desirable if I were a hoofbeast girl D --> Refrain from speaking of my panties D --> I am not an oinkbeast, but... D --> Yes.... Yes I am naughty D --> Perhaps becoming part of this "harem" w001d not be so undesirable...
D --> You fantasised about me D --> Oh my D --> I am perspiring, I did not know this was what you were doing back then D --> w001d you like me more if I was a large chested hoofbeast girl
D --> That is most unfortunate, sir D --> I may be able to fill that role if you desire, but I am sorry I cannot fulfil your fantasies of being a beautiful hoofbeast girl
D --> I am no princess, I am a highb100d but I am humble D --> I fall beneath most others D --> I am pathetic and unworthy D --> Is this post a proposal of sorts D --> If I join your harem, can I become a hoofbeast girl
｢(ФωФ) under one unyahification, megane-san makes everyone kawaii~☆｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: (´∀｀) kekekekeke!! pone-chan will get her mane braided every day!]
absolutely evveryone looks better as a large chested hoofbeast girl
D --> All I do is make a f001 of myself in front of my superiors D --> I sh001d be punished for my 100d displays, flogged so I know my place beneath their boot D --> Fiddlesticks, there I go again D --> Perhaps it may be best to stop posting entirely
At Least You Are Self Aware.
D⟶I have found it helpful to make a blanket r001 for myself to post strictly in one fashion, and one fashion only without personal addendums D⟶It's an effective discipline that has saved me from a great many shamefoal displays
D --> From your profile I can see that Perhaps it w001d be wise to pick a niche
D⟶Hobbies, interests, e%c100sively neutral third-person subje% D⟶These all tend to be safe common ground that do not lend themselves to e%amination or ridic001
D --> Yes, this may be my best course of action D --> Thank you D --> I do not wish to make a f001 of myself
D⟶None wish to be made f001ish %cept the most unprincipled deviants lacking disciplined compartmentalization between public and private D⟶Which we aren't D⟶You are welcome
D --> What is a "ship" and why is chittr up in arms over these vessels tonight
࣪⊹₊˚{ ooooh! what kind do YOU like? my faaaave has GOT to be like, a noble 4-masted barque }9u9{ but also.... }6u6{ }9u9{ }6u6{ ive always like, kind of lovedddd a little humble sloop-of-war. SOOOO PLUCKY! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
D --> Nghhh... Those are quite good D --> I am not partial to a highb100d and his subordinate in a dynamic akin to that of a master and his slave
D --> Perhaps this was too evocative and inappropriate of me D --> Forgive me my 100dness
࣪⊹₊˚{ uhhhh.... }*ᗣ*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ ummmm.... girlygrub }*_*{ i meant, BOATS. SHIPS. VESSELSSSS not VASSALSSSS! }T_T{ }T_T{ }T_T{ ALL YOU DIRT GROPERS JUST WANT THE SAMEEEE THING!!!! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
D --> Oh fiddlesticks, forgive me highb100d D --> Hmm... I have not given boats and alike much thought D --> I should have known, I have been too forward, too vile and 100d
࣪⊹₊˚{ STOP APOLOGIZING + JUST PIIIICK A BOAT ALREADY YOU AIR SUCKING INGRAAAATEEEE }>A\{ youre embarrassing BOTH of us now!!!! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ }.-.{ are you like, trying to fourk around with me right now? i said to pick one }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ YOURE AVOIDING THE QUESTION! \}*____*{/ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
D --> My sincerest apologies D --> Fiddlesticks I am getting somewhat worked up D --> I have not given battleships much thought I am sorry D --> Admiral class battle cruiser
D --> How am I meant to zip up the back of this dress, I am much too wide to reach around myself
Ill d0 it
Yeah n0 w0rries
Literally what d0es this mean