Eridan Ampora
@caligulaAscendit
sensitivve young man | classicist | philosopher | radical indivvidual | sophisticated intellectual | paragon a poetic grace | heartthrob a vvibrant young wwomen ((icon by @ratking-buffet))
|| OOC INTRODUCTION || Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA. The LEVIATHAN. You are 13 sweeps old, ruthless commander of the IMPERIAL LEGION and HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION'S lap dog. Far gone are the halcyon days of your wigglerhood. If there was ever a doubt in your pusher about where your allegiance lies, it's long been smothered under the ashes of fallen federations. You have decimated whole galaxies in the name of THE EMPIRE. Despite your illustrious military career, your personal life remains unfulfilling. You are a ticking, MEGALOMANIACAL time bomb. No amount of imperial dinners can satiate the yawning chasm inside you that aches for companionship. But let's be real: if your fronds didn't like you before, they most certainly hate your abdominal sausages now. You have no bridges left to burn. In your free time, you bemoan your various CONCUPISCENT FAILURES in the form of circumlocutary, vitriolic chitts. You are proudly HEMOIST and fond of EXTREMIST IDEOLOGY, boasting a great love for the works of TROLL JULIUS EVOLA.
@aeneasCaldarium can wwe go to mcmaggots the slaughterfeud misery meal collab is out
i literally had to do the "he asked for no pickles" thing last time, you cant order for shit. i dunno wvhy they evwen put those in vwith your nuggies.
for the last TIME its perfectly normal for a thirteen swweep your old to havve this much invvestment in tiny plastic figures im FINE
it wwasnt my fault that rustie wwagecuck kept haranguin me "sir are you ready to order" "sir youre holdin up the line" "sir wwould you like tuber strips wwith that" thats too many questions by the wway can you order for me again
your posture pole constantly astounds me man. pull at it from some directions and its ram rod straight, but a different direction and its a slinky.
For a gutterblooded moron, perhaps. But for a man of your age, and your status it is pathetic to vwatch your collect little plastic figurines and images of fictional vwar machines. You havwe the funds for the real deal, Eridan. Start the collection if a real man.
dont bring my posture pole into this just say yes talkin to mcjobbers offends me
alright ima let you cook wwith this one old man a panzer parked in my lawwn ring does sound pretty awwesome
fine, fine, vwell go. but if reginas vworking the register you shut the hell up and let me vwork my magic, got it? her rack does things to me.
It vwould be quite a lot more impressiwve than the little vwriggler toys you are collecting novw.
a mark a hemospectral superiority is havvin ibs only seadwwellers wwith the purest blood get regular tummy aches
w|ssh|n u A very not tummy Ache
you probably eat cavve rocks an lusus droppins i dont expect you to understand
cant make sense a this malarkey i diagnose you wwith vviolet tummy
me ! me me me |m A buXXXom brronzee wAhtrver yAh | cAn do thAt for uu :)
fool wwhat do you knoww about my diet i exclusivvely eat unflavvored spaghetti wwith wwithout blood apple sauce
dog this is so sad. what do you mean you don't eat double fried corndogs. literally the foundation a bartering free time with my bro hinges on me buyin as much dinner as he wants wherever he wants. the trash food is sacred it's what brings us together.
This is not true, a sign of superiority is a healthy gut. You howvewver may hawve... an issue.
#boysnight #meandmeandme #twwinnin #triplin @caligulaAscendit @cthonicAspirations
B33 < damn nyall buried the hatchet aftpurr the war p hard huh
it wwas really less an eridani battle royale and more the council a eridans vvs all rogue eris so naturally our camaraderie remains steadfast and true
B33 < oh i s33 B33 < i missed that lore lmeow
horrifically hopemogged
this is kinda cute tbh
the PREFERRED nomenclature is #adorabloodthirsty thank you vvery fuckin much
they quake wwhen wwe enter and they tremble wwhen wwe wwalk and by they i mean all ye hopeless bitches trying to swwim in the same streams as us three do yourselvves a favvor and leavves the important matters to the eridans wwho knoww wwhat is wwhat
gonna say somethin the wwarmer crowwd aint gonna like men are naturally more attractivve than wwomen on avverage thats wwhy wwomen need makeup this aint me bein gay its science
gam i honest to flippin condesce dont care wwatcha think about my looks you are the last troll im tryin to impress
yEaH I KnOw (O: jUsT LiKe cAlLiN Ya uGlY. aLsO ThInK We sHoUlD BrEaK Up fRoM ThIs fAkE KiS ShIt. WaS LiKe fUn bUt nOt rEaLlY. m oVeR ThE QuAd sHiT, kK LaId mY EgG. gOt bEtTeR JuSt tO WoRrY BoUt.
yEaH Ya dId, GoTtA LeT ChA KnOw m lIvInG YeR FaT, pReGnAnT KaRkAt dReAmS. (O: hAtE YoU. pLaToNiCaLlY.💜
you ovverestimate howw much i care about your life an your incubator
nUh-uH (o: KnOw yOu cArE, yEr a sEnSiTiVe yOuNg mAn rEmEmBeR. tRyInG To pIsS Me oFf. MoThErFuCkEr tHaT'S AlL KiNdSa pAtHeTiC.
bein a snivvelin simulacrum of a senstivve young man requires me to givve a fuck first an wwell in this case scenario i dont wwhat the fuck do ya wwant me to say here youre not gonna get a different response by needlin me an throwwin out trite insults youre tryin to dig deeper wwhen youvve already hit the bedrock theres no wwhere to go from here gam cause i just dont givve a flyin skyhorse
aLrIgHt bRo (O:
goregle showw me a foid in an alternian military uniform
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚『Hear Ye, Hear Ye!』-ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Must Y⭑u D𝒶m𝒶ge My Reput𝒶t⚕⭑n L⚕ke Th⚕s?
im a big fan a the handle but noww i must put your principles to a test are you actually a genocidal hemoist troll racist or another larper
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚『Hear Ye, Hear Ye!』-ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ H⭑nestly, ⚕ 𝑨m S⭑rt ☆f Hem⭑⚕st, 𝑨nd ⚕ D⭑ Enj⭑y Gen⭑c⚕de...⚕ Just D⚕sl⚕ke Publ⚕cly Express⚕ng ⚕t Bec𝒶use Pe⭑ple Tend T⭑ Judge Me 𝑨 L⭑t F⭑r ⚕t!
holy mackerel wwe need to breed an produce troll ubermensch grubs
fuck i mean hi wwe should swwap vvile bigotry in dms sometime
sorry ara but theres a cute racist purple girl in my replies right noww you had your chance
hey so quick question hypothetically speakin lets say there wwere a guy wwho accidentally jerked off another bloke at a party does that mean the guy doin the jackin is still a vvirgin evven though it wwas unintentional an also he wwas bein tightly embraced from behind like roohzz by jayckk in troll titanic askin for a pal #nsfww
:33< i mean its a sexual act so i dont think so??? :33< congrats or im sorry for mew :33< i cant tell
If it makes you feel any better, virginity is a social construct.
this aint about me didnt you read the chit trashbeast tailed oli i clearly STATED that im askin for a friend
I mean it is a sex act but its n0t exactly sex? Id stay still a virgin. Y0ure being very brave t0 talk ab0ut this.
Okay, whore.
:33< damn whatevfur :33< im sorry for mew friend or congrats fur them or whatever
i think hes gonna wwalk the plank straight off this ship
:33< ill blow into a horn really loud to send him off or something ://< i dont know how walking off the plank works
ivve experienced too much character devvelopment ovver the past cycle im not equipped for this
beforans are fucked up beyond fathom prune the wwhole timeline at this point their breed is beyond salvvation an before ya ask no this isnt the result a your standard flavvor eri bigotry i thought i hated beforus cause its wwoke noww i hate beforus cause it produces consummate sexual devviants a the most wwicked vvariety
Which Beforan prompted this post, Eridan?
anybody else feel like their noble aquarian soul has been crushed an vviolated
Is that...? It sure is. @caligulaAscendit @timaeusTestified#0414 @centaursTurmoil. #Fincel vs. #TheWhiteMonster. You'll never guess how this match ends. See more unscripted content like the #BoysNight #LiveStream on #PlushRump. Subscribers only.
Jesus human Christ I stop paying attention to this guy for once and he’s doing insane shit again
man take this shit dowwn
Don't forget to document what happened directly after this was taken.
#SubscribersOnly. Gotta preserve the mystique.
i just n0ticed the piss
Computer, enhance. \></
after my many escapades an trials an tribulations on the splinternet ovver the swweeps ivve come to the begrudgin conclusion that dirk strider is probably the closest thin to a "real one" that i evver had
dude.
the madonna inceldan vvs the wwhore cronus
the wwoke mobs growwin highblood hysteria provves that none a them actually read my wwritins more accurately they havve a fundamental misunderstandin a me as a troll im not contrarian nor "edgy" my so called hot takes challenge the status quo an profane the mainstream because the mainstream milieu is squarely in the wwrong im anti indivviduality because indivviduality is the silent slayer a culture i am pro conformity pro conservvativve pro stable hierarchies an pro establishment
.png)
[LITERALLY WHO EVEN ARE YOU]
[? WHAT DOE$ THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING]
[??? LMAOOO OKAY THAT$ KINDA FUNNY]
im just readin wwhat it says pal gay ritchy im assumin its hyphenated or somethin
[NO IM JU$T GAY THI$ MONTH MY NAME I$ RIT#HY IT$ NOT?? BAHAJAJA]
[IM GAY RIT#HY BE#AU$E PRIDE MONTH I$ OVER $O I HAD TO LO#K IN AND $TAND ↑ FOR MY FALLEN #OMRADE$]
makin ole eri do all the wwork huh just cause most a you base your slacktivvism on somethin so esoteric an untangible as feelins rather than reality lets unpack this dash wwide bee ess shall wwe hemospectral differences are twwofold theyre either genetic or culture but one has to be a droolin mischief maker to ignore the fact that almost all important hemospectral differences are genetic rather than cultural such as eye color facial features skull shape skeletal proportions body fat deposition tooth size jaww shape female sphere form odor etcetera beyond this there are also profound differences in biochemical constitution such as endocrine function an blood chemistry for example lowwbloods an highbloods mature at different rates they evven havve different nutritional requirements wwhen wwe understand the all pervvadin nature a genetic differences wwe can see that cultural differences are not so superficial as some a us believve far from maskin any fundamental equality they simply manifest the genetic difference a wwhich they are in fact expressions the culture a lowwbloods free a alien influences is tellin evvidence a their essential nature that is a culture wwhich is less advvanced than highblood culture by any standard lowwblood culture nevver saww the barest glimmerins a the invvention a the wwheel lowwblood culture is a result a the physical inadequacy a the lowwbloods pan dealin wwith abstract concepts blendin lowwbloods an highbloods together in earnest is a refutation a the simple truth that equality is not only a lie it is nigh untrue on a cellular levvel #dashwwatchin
~What perverted shit were yO~u guys getting up tO~ with inventing the wheel underwater anyways?~
avverage pissblood resorts to shitty pail joke cause it cannot fathom a more sophisticated motivvation for stayin alivve
~N~O but seriO~usly if y~Ou guys invented the wheel first what was it f~Or? Educate me ~Oh wise and s~Ophistic highbl~O~Od ~On~O~
some a us aint privvy to the wwhims a the ancient seafolk first wwheel wwas a plate an as a result fine dinin second wwheel wwas somethin to make lowwbloods drag outta the sea as a joke third wwheel is the lowwblood servvant kept podside durin highblood courtin rituals
~It's ~Okay, y~Ou guys needed a h~Ole tO~ use, I get it~ ~#suggestive~
despite bein a touch higher on the hemospectrum than rusties or muds pissbloods are by far the wworst a the lesser lowwbloods if you evver see me agreein wwith a talkin battery its either a skinwwalker or ivve done too many nose clams again #substance
depends on the night an the bender an also howw evvil im feelin
Is the powder,,, less evil,,? Or more because you have to chop up the clam,,, ideally with a credit card or razor of some kind,
:33 < but will i be alive or dead?
im puttin you in a cardboard box wwith the wwords adopt me wwritten in sharpie on the front an settin you out in the rain wwhat happens next is up to the fates
my wwickedness cannot be measured by the form in wwhich i snort my clams you havve a lot to learn amateur
:33 < nyot the rain!!!
I am pretty,,, inexperienced being evil, yeah,,, the opportunity's never come up before,,
just had the misfortune a interactin wwith a BLOODY MINTBLOOD theyre seriously lettin anybody use this platform huh for FREE TOO fuck i miss the old splinternet they used to barkbeastpile you for bein slightly off hue noww this sort a degeneracy is not only flipperwwavved its encouraged
( So sad............................................................................................... )<
@h - see, woe truly -s you. Th-ngs were better -n the old days and w-gglers these days are too soft? Caverns not harsh enough?
Ragebaiting my fat highbl00d
oh yeah baby open up for this entire school a someones krilldads i just orphaned
࣪⊹₊˚{ you sound like my lusus.... }<_\{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
i guess that means you can call me hrrk daddy
࣪⊹₊˚{ ummmm }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ I NEED TO GO }*ᯅ*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
the perfect female body full lips big teeth strong straight back strong neck an shoulders huge firm breasts miniscule wwaist meaty arms exaggerated forwward pelvvic thrust round full belly exceptionally large wwell endowwed but firm buttocks wwith the shelf effect large thighs thick ankles tiny feet big an healthy an built for rear end penetration #nsfww
DID YOU VOTE AGAINST ME IN THE WHORE-OFF. BETRAYER. A THOUSAND CURSES ON YOUR WRETCHED BLOODLINE. SORRY I CAN'T FUCKING BE HER. SHOULD I DIE. SHOULD I #CW-SELF-HARM MYSELF.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... ... ... ... 0f c0urze. [END MESSAGE]
i guess i dont knoww im not equipped to deal wwith stuff like this youre lowwkey stressin me out dam
eridan that body would hurt no matter what species you are! i know this as a woman!
silly human dont you knoww men knoww more about wwomens bodies than wwomen do duh its so obvvious
NO. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR NICKNAME PRIVILEGES. TO THINK. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT. ABOUT SMALL GLOBES. BEING REFINED AND NOBLE. AND PATHETIC. FEEBLE LITTLE STUB BULGES. SIGNALING DIGNITY AND MENTAL FORTITUDE. ONLY FOR YOU TO GO CHASING BIG ASSED BITCHES. AND FAT GLOBED MEGIDOS. EVERYWHERE I LOOK. AND YOU PERMITTED THEM INTO BOYS NIGHT. YOU HAVE SHATTERED MY PUSHER. AND I FORSAKE YOU.
ALWAYS A FUCK-UGLY DYEDHAIR METROSEXUAL AT THE SCENE OF A CRIME!!!!
@handMaid The shots from our photoshoot are ready. I wish nothing but good luck to you. :B #NSFW #Suggestive
Oh. It's not a physical competition then. ... @gutsyGumshoe Do propaganda with me anyway please?
You realize context clues only happen when there is context right? I was entirely unaware of this bracket so how could I have inferred that they were specifically competing for your favor for some reason.
i tagged it. you coulda looked through the #cronusbabeoff tag or through my account to see if, perhaps, id posted anything similar. yknowv, find some context. yeesh, its like i gotta explain ewverything to you babes.
Wow, that's you~~~~? I had assumed you were a troll, from your little horned icon~.
W)(at.
W)(AT?
-Enoug)(.
c r u s h her under your prodigious heft sista lets see that skinny lil starvvlin fold like a lawwn ring chair beneath your adipowwwwah an perhaps if youd consider me so lucky youd let me take the place a her flattened carcass i wwill covver myself in all the jelly an slip right on under wwith the greasy ease of a toady wwho spent all light brinin in an industrial sized barrel a ky wwith the intent purpose a fittin like an ovverextended g strip trapped betwween my bbww queens goddess fupa
OKAY. WELL. WE DID ALL THAT WITHOUT YOU. SO. AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. PLEASE SET UP A LIVESTREAM. AND KILL YOURSELF IN FRONT OF IT.