♥ liked by @caligulaAscendit
Leaving 8 Empty so @caligulaAscendit can enjoy his privacy.
yEAH, tHAT IS PROBABLY THE BEST ANSWER, yOU COULD HAVE GIVEN OUT OF THE MAYBE, fOUR AND POTENTIALLY FIVE IF WE STRETCH IT, pOSSIBILITIES, i MEAN WE ALL LOVE YOUR, pLAYFUL GENOCIDAL HATRED OF, aLL LANDDWELLERS THAT IS LIKE, a CHARMING CHARACTER QUIRK,
fOR, wHICH CATEGORY?
*ITS
LET ME SET THE SCENE HERE. I'M SAT IN MY RESPITE BLOCK AT PRESENT, THE ONLY THING I HAVE OPEN ON MY COMPUTER IS CHITTR. IT'S A TEMPERATE MAY DAY IN THE TROLL KINGDOM AND THE RAIN IS COMING DOWN OUTSIDE PRETTY HEAVILY. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE THE WINDOW OPEN A CRACK TO HEAR IT FALL. THE SYNCOPATED PITTER PATTER ON THE OUTSIDE WINDOW DANCING IN CONCERT WITH THE SOUND OF MY TOUCH STUBS GLIDING ACROSS MY MECHANICAL KEYBOARD. BACK ON ALTERNIA, YOU DID *NOT* WANT YOUR WINDOW OPEN DURING THE RAIN. THAT SHIT WAS PURE ACID, AND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIVE WAS BUILT TO WITHSTAND IT, BUT THE INSIDE SURE WASN'T AND NEITHER WAS YOUR SKIN. FOR SOME TIME, EVEN THOUGH ITS SAFE TO TOUCH THE RAINWATER ON EARTH-C, I REFUSED TO OPEN MY WINDOW. TODAY THAT CHANGED. DO YOU KNOW WHY THAT IS? BECAUSE TODAY IS A DAY OF FIRSTS. UPON REFLECTION, I SUPPOSE THIS IS MY FIRST 'SPONSORED POST'. A BENEFACTOR WHO WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS GAVE ME A GIFT CARD TO A PIZZA PLACE CALLED GIORDANO'S. THERE WAS ENOUGH ON THIS CARD FOR A MEAL FOR TWO AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR EVERYONE, I *WILL* BE GOING BACK. I HATE EVERYTHING THAT THIS PIZZA TRIP HAS MADE ME BECOME. THE KARKAT THAT YOU KNEW YESTERDAY IS A DEAD MAN. HE'S BEEN LEFT IN THE PAST, MERELY AN ERRANT SPECTER HAUNTING YOUR MEMORY. I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. EXCEPT...I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T I? IF THERE IS ONE THING KARKAT VANTAS IS- IT'S UNREPENTANT IN HIS FOOD OPINIONS. DID YOU REALLY THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WOULD GROVEL AT YOUR FEET? BESEECH YOUR TEMPLE FOR APOLOGY? THROW MYSELF AT THE MERCY OF THE EXTREMELY FAKE CLOWN GODS ABOVE FOR DARING TO THINK THAT THIS PIZZA *FUCKS SEVERELY*? YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. WELCOME TO KARKAT'S PIZZA REVIEWS. THERE IS NO GOD HERE BUT ME. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR TITHES IN THE TIP JAR AND KISS MY FINALLY BEJEWELED RING YOU ME DAMNED HEATHEN. NORMALLY WHEN I TRY OUT A NEW PIZZA PLACE, I GO FOR THE BASICS. NOT THIS TIME. AS THIS WAS A SPONSORED VISIT, I TOOK INSTRUCTION ON WHAT PIZZA TO GET- ANY VARIETY OF THEIR EARTH-C-HICAGO STYLE PIZZA. I SEE NOW WHY SOME HUMANS CALL THIS SHIT A 'PIZZA PIE' BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THAT THING HAD A *CRUST*. IT WAS LIKE EXCAVATING IN A MINE OF SAUCE AND MOLTEN HOT CHEESE. I'LL ADMIT. I WAS VERY HESITANT GOING INTO THIS. SAUCE? ON TOP OF THE PIZZA? HOW NOVEL! HOW STRANGE! I'D HEARD OF SUCH A CONCOCTION, SUCH A WEIRD FUCKING MEAL BEFORE AND I'D SORT OF WRITTEN IT OFF ENTIRELY. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO THE PALATE OF ANYONE WITH A FUNCTIONING THINKPAN AND THE FULL POSSESSION OF ONE'S NATURAL FLAVOR BUMPS. I WAS A FUCKING FOOL. A FRAUD, EVEN. I'M A MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAN NOW. A BETTER MAN. THAT. SHIT. FUCKED. THIS WILL BE MY FIRST 10/10 REVIEW. THIS BASIC ASS, BEAUTIFULLY SIMPLISTIC CHEESE AND SAUCE DEEP DISH FLAVOR DISC WILL BE MY SWAN SONG. YOU CAN PLAY ME OUT NOW. I CAN DIE HAPPY. LET'S REVIEW WHAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID? THIS IS UNASSAILABLE! YOU CANNOT HOPE TO ATTAIN THE BENEVOLENT PEAKS THAT THIS FLAVOR DISC PROVIDES, YOU HAPLESS DEGENERATE. YOU SPEND HOURS EVERY DAY GOONING ON CHITTR.ING WHEN THERE'S A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF EXPERIENCES WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR IF YOU JUST SEEK TO ATTAIN THEM,. THE CRUST FOUGHT ME. IT WAS A BRIEF STRUGGLE TO BITE INTO BEFORE ITS CRISPY DENSENESS YIELDED TO THE SUPERIOR MIGHT OF MY FANGS, LIKE A LOVER JUST A TOUCH TOO SHY TO GIVE IN RIGHT AWAY. THE SAUCE SETTLED ON TOP, A TEASING OCEAN OF TOMATO AND PESTO. SHE STARED AT ME IN OUR TWIN COLOR, EYES ALLURING AND INSPIRING A GROWL FROM ME. IT WAS FERAL. I'M NOT PROUD OF THE WAY I TOOK HER. THE WAY I CLAMPED MY CLAWS AROUND HER AND TORE INTO HER SUPPLE FLESH. ...WHAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS #SUGGESTIVE? I'M DESCRIBING BITING INTO A SLICE OF PIZZA YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. THE CHEESE WAS THICK. HAVING BEEN BAKED INTO THE BASED LAYER OF THE PIZZA MEANT THAT SHIT WAS LIKE A LAVA EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH. THERE WAS SO MUCH OF IT I THOUGHT I MIGHT DIE. IT SCORNED ME AT FIRST, BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF MY CHIN, BUT ENTICED ME WITH HER FLAVOR. SO I PUT IT DOWN AND TOOK A HUGE GLUG OF COKE (WITH ICE) AND THANK YOU TO THE GIORDANO'S STAFF FOR THEIR SWIFT RESPONSE BECAUSE ANY LONGER AND I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED A LOT AND MADE EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT LOOK AT ME FUNNY AND THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WANT TO POST THIS AT ALL. THE FLAVOR PROFILE WAS IMMACULATE. EVERY FLAVOR BLENDED INTO EACH OTHER SO PERFECTLY BUT STILL KEPT THEMSELVES CHASTELY DISTINCT, EACH SHOWING ME WHAT THEY HAD GOING FOR THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COLLECTIVE. THEY WERE LIKE MY THREE GIRLFRIENDS. AND YES THEY SMOKED WEED. TO PUT INTO THE SIMPLEST WORDS POSSIBLE. I AM A CHANGED MAN. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN WHO WALKED INTO THAT PIZZA PLACE. THAT SHIT WAS ALSO WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO EAT IN ONE SITTING SO I STILL HAVE A FEW SLICES LEFT THAT I TOOK HOME AND SHOVED IN THE FRIDGE. VRISKA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS KEEP YOUR HANDSY THIEF PAWS OFF OF MY FUCKING PIZZA I MARKED IT WITH MY BLOOD AND PUNCHED IN TRIPLICATE THAT IT'S FUCKING *MINE*, OKAY? I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY I GOT YOU A BBQ MEATLOVERS IT'S IN THE FRIDGE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, OKAY? I EVEN GOT YOU A 2L OF SPRITE. YOU *LOVE* SPRITE. IS THIS ENOUGH APPEASEMENT FOR YOU TO KEEP YOUR LOUSY, NO GOOD CLAWS OFF OF MY FOOD? YES? GOOD. GLAD WE COULD COME TO AN AGREEMENT. FINAL VERDICT: 10/10. I'VE FOUND A NEW LOVE IN LIFE. A NEW *PURPOSE.* THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, GUYS. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO OUT AND SEIZE IT. CARPE DICKEM OR WHATEVER. THANK YOU AND GOONNIGHT. I MEAN GOODNIGHT.
!oh boy! walkin AROUNd caegar! [Palind PinniP has sent a Parcel to your location. It's the body Pillow, Ai-chan bath water, and one of the extra Panties]
what am i SUPPSOEd to dO with this httPs://i.imgur.com/Ju2SPZb.Png #suggestive
Adult Alternian Gamzee associated with @caligulaAscendit Gamzee Makara, also known as "The High Grandmaster" or "The Grandmaster." Gamzee Makara had a massive falling apart of his faith, and as he entered into adulthood, he abandoned his beliefs and struck down The Grandhighblood. Gamzee spent many of his early adult years taking apart and dismantling as much of the clown religion as he could. Over the years, the purple caste would adopt a more carnival and freak show theme, and a lot of them would don masks and extravagant costumes. While a few remained as clowns, the entire cult seemingly has barely any trace left. Anyone who questioned the Makara would find that they were missing memories. Regardless, the transition out of the religion was seemingly seamless. Gamzee got high praise from the empire for shepherding the caste back into power under the empire, and the entire caste works to enforce laws for the crown. Gamzee has a conflicted relationship with the empire, while he doesn't like it, he's a victim of the system. He listens, he obeys, and anyone under him pays. Those under him watch him fall into a cycle of abusing those around him and feeling grief and anger for those he's harmed. Gamzee's carnival, while just as much a sore thumb as the Clown Cult, is more welcomed. Everything looks beautiful, if not dangerous. Gamzee comes off as a different person, shedding any of his naivety in the process of becoming an adult. He wears a mask to hide his fears; everyone prefers it. He does too. He seems happy like that, and everyone is happy if he's happy. It works out. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d109f8dcb096.png
kudos!
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 5: aradia megido #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #casteplay #hemoism #cagttl rusties. god damn do i lovwe rusties. it aint ewven my fault. theres just something about the povwer dynamic that puts em in heat. if youre a highblood, youre in luck. if not, vwell, at vworst youre equal to a rustie. thisll come up later and it aint just an aradia thing, let alone a megido thing, but its important. also, think im gonna get this outta the vway first. not tagging her or anything, and you shouldnt either. unless? yeah, rankmaid is technically an aradia. havwent actually gotten around to testing her out. from wvhat iwve seen, either you say youll kiss a boy wvhile she sits in the cuck chair, then you tvwo fellas spitroast her (if your balls dont touch and you dont make eye contact then its #notgay) or you just say some real horny shit to her and she goes for it. i think shes the type thats desperate for any sorta attention, just look at that vwhole felt business. your mileage may vwary on all this, like i said, untested. novw onto the real data. aradias are an eclectic bunch. ecletic? lots of different sorts. most basic type is the dress up doll. shes fashionable, shes swveet, she probably wvants to call you sir or daddy. shell giggle at your jokes and get properly flustered from flirting, but she aint a full on b wvord like the roxies. shes kinda hard to pin dovwn, metaphorically anywvays. shell take more shit than most, wvhich is fun, and shell definitely adore being pushed around a bit, wverbally, emotionally, and physically. majority of the time, casteplay stuff wvill wvork. sometimes ill ewven just make stuff up about biology and shell buy into it, lotsa fun. you cant go vwrong vwith the aradia chassis, but theres more complex out there. next wve got the freaks and wveirdos. theyre usually smiling wvide, and if not theyre a ghost, but like, ghostier than the rest of us ghosts? i newver really got it. kinda cold for my taste, literally, but its still pretty hot. these ones are trying to be off-putting. my strat here has alvways been to stonevwall em. they vwanna be creepy? compliment their tits. they say something totally unhinged? smile and nod as you start groping em. throwv em off their game. shes not gonna be used to this, so take adwvantage of it. make her feel beautiful, vwanted, and make it a novwel experience. aradias hawve seen it all, you hawve to be interesting, ewven if theyre off their rhythm. i like to turn up the disrespect on these ones sometimes, treat em more like a doll than the dress up doll aradias. make her understand that no matter hovw quirky and manic pixie or spooky shes trying to be, shes still a sex object at the end of the night. make her melt into wvhat you can giwve her. casteplay can either be your in, or something you pull vwhen its too late for her to back out. gotta giwve a special mention to the bots, of course. for howv many there are, i dont see em that often, but like... vwe all knowv zahhaks are perwverts, right? the bots look fantastic, and if you can grab hold of one long enough for a chat, they aint usually too hard to break. the ones that are gonna givwe you the time of night are basically already sexbots, so treat em like that, they lowve it. objectify em, make em feel useful, maybe slip in a hint that you might see em like a real person, but dont wvorry, they aint. be careful vwith that last bit though, i remember one vwho got like, really really into the utility aspect, the idea that id vwanna keep her evwen though she knevw she vwasnt a person, so like... either vway, make her understand howv much you wvant her. just dont get in the bath vwith her, trust me on this. novw that i think about it, should also mention that aradias might be the most likely gals to go for threesomes. like, theres the time clone stuff obvwiously, if you get one thats really into you she might treat you, but im talking vwith entire other babes. you can get a megido sandwvich, or you might get lil peixes in there, those are the ones i usually land. dont go in hoping for this, but dont let the chance slip by. and to reiterate, for any aradia: youre the highblood here if youre any better than rust. make sure she knovws it. ivwe nevwer met an aradia vwho wvanted to be in control wvho didnt break at the slightest push. maybe dont try vwith the black hole aradia though, shes super horny but also real scary. thats hovw all megidos are but shes the most extreme ivwe seen in both categories (sorry damz </3 ) rating the rustie bod: holy shit her body is crazy. aradias range from slimthicc to full on curvwy and i lowve em for it. they tend to be real sensitiwve too. 10/10 vwariety: theres a vwhole lot you can get from an aradia. some people might get bored of the caste dynamics, but not me. the vweirdos are especially a lotta fun. 10/10 ease: usually all it takes is a push, aradias are nevwer a fight. might hawve a slightly harder time vwith the ghosts, but she makes it vworth it. 9/10 personality: evwen the boring ones are fun because you can put em in their place, and the manic pixie dream girls and the goth ghosts add some spice. i could newver get tired of banting wvith an aradia. 10/10 ovwerall: 10/10. definitely a contender for my fawvorite gal out there in paradox space. fun to squeeze, fun to talk to, fun to put dovwn, fun to pail. rosie is our closest match so far. any aradias out there vwith a lack of self-respect and a thing for highbloods, my dms are thatavway <3 0u0
THIS IS FAR BETTER. I HAVE IMMEDIATE PALMHUSK ACCESS TO YOUR RAGEFUL SCREEDS. AS OPPOSED TO HAVING TO HAUL MYSELF UP A MOUNTAIN. AND ACROSS A LAKE. FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF HEARING NOVEL AND INVENTIVE HEMOIST SLURS.
IT'S LIKE PROSE POETRY. WRITTEN BY A PALE AND WITHERED CAVE CREATURE. WHO SHRINKS FROM THE MOONLIGHT. AS WELL AS THE TOUCH OF ANY LIVING THING. YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL. IN THE ANCIENT TIMES. THEY WOULD HAVE STUCK YOU IN A MONASTERY. WITH LIMITLESS CALLIGRAPHY SUPPLIES. AND NO WOMEN AT ALL. ZERO. NONE.
TRUTH NUKE. CONFIRMED BY REAL ALTERNIAN GUTTER SLUTS. EVEN HER ROYAL WETNESS IS NOT EXEMPT. JUDGING BY THE WAY SHE IS ALWAYS TAKING MY BAIT. I AM SOMETHING OF A TACTICAL MASTER. WHERE BAITING IS CONCERNED. #NSFW
eri no stop it aint wworth it this isnt you this isnt your collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic cardiovvascular system thisll only make you hate yourself in the end like more than before
Oh okay….NA NA NA BOO BOO I LIKE THIS ONE https://file.garden/af6ulCnTFCHPThCz/IMG_5047.jpeg
ooc:// Cro's quads for anyone curious but if u want to romance him, do not be deterred, if u can get over him being the way that he is sometimes. Boyfriend (no quad) Kurloz Makara (written by my friend cici) Moirail - Meenah Peixes ( was written by someone else/now by me) mate - Horuss Zahhak (written also by my lovely friend cici) Kis - Rufioh Nitram (ALSO WRITTEN BY MY FRIEND CICI) Aus - lord, he needs one Other relationships: A loooot of semi-romantic situationships with striders he can't seem to get himself out of. Friendships Mituna Captor of his timeline - "friends" they get along begrudgingly but because Cronus is dating an alt of Kurloz and he likes Kurloz and he cares about cosete Kurloz Makara of his timeline - Can't stand each other but he enjoys spending time with the alt and beating the shit out of each other. A GHB - Gets along well with him @orphanersDualscars - My dualscar I write, they hate each other. Eridan, his ancestor - He hates him Eridan, aka wiwidan @caligulaAscendit - He hates him, but can hold a conversation with him. A BUNCH of other people he's friendly with and or hates but. HIS LIFE.
AS PROMISED. BORING. PLAIN. BOG-STANDARD. THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF "BARE FUCKING MINIMUM." UNLIKE THE OBNOXIOUS, SWAGGERING SHOWBOATS WHO SHOWED UP IN SIXTEEN LAYERS OF NEON GOSSAMER FOR MY BULB-SEARING PLEASURE. SIGH. SAY HI IF YOU'RE HERE, I GUESS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/A9803F4D8B82.JPG #MIDNIGHTCITYGALA
crazy that literal g0dh00d isn't en0ugh f0r s0me pe0ple. sure y0u have unt0ld mastery 0ver the basic fabric 0f reality and are functi0nally imm0rtal but if the special jammies are ugly y0u might as well give up 0n life. #vaguep0sting
guys can't find the clitoris 'cause they're secretly hopin' a dick will be there instead. #nsfw
wwhy dont you all try findin eridans pages for a change
Tell me about it, bro. Spent all this time grinding friendship points only for Brutus to stab me on the steps and tell all of Chittr the precise specs on my #Nothing. What’s the point. #ItsOver.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3912b738c55c.png
I DO NOT LOVE MY BOYS. LOVE IS FOR FEEBLE HEARTED FUCKING WOMEN AND COMMUNISTS. OF WHICH I AM NEITHER. WHAT I FEEL FOR MY BOYS IS SOMETHING DEEPER. SOMETHING MORE PROFOUND. SOMETHING FAR MORE VALUABLE. SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TO BE ERRINGLY CONFUSED WITH AFFECTION, BECAUSE AFFECTION IS FAR TOO MOTHERFUCKING SHALLOW OF AN EQUIVOCATION. I VALUE MY BOYS. MY STEELHEARTED MEN. MY STALLIONS. MY THREE PIECE SUIT WEARING GOONS. THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOU, MY FELT.
My brother’s comment about bitches with tarot cards inspired me toward a terrible fit of charity. Whoever would like their fortune read, simply sign below. I can feel all of your energies from here, and it would probably do us all a great justice to see it done.
shrewwd deductions like that are wwhy youll look vviciously handsome in a bright green suit eri
CORRECT CHOICE.
>> wou1d.
#needthat
ghoals
id krill someone just for bein named andrew
WHEN I BECOME LORDLING EMPEROR OF ALL. I WILL NOT CRACK OPEN MY SERVANTS LIKE OVERRIPE EGGS. AND LET THE GOOEY RESIDuE INSIDE DRIFT INTO MY MOuTH. ME. FIVE DAYS LATER. STARING DOWN AN ESPECIALLY SEAM RIPPABLE CLOVER. HM.
maybe stop talkin about your matesprit wwhen wwere tryin to pail howw about THAT
let him cook
IT DOESNT EVEN FUCKING SURPRISE ME, DUDE. I'VE SEEN PEOPLE WHO ARE APPARENTLY TECHNICALLY ME WHO'S PERSONALITIES AND HABITS WOULD HAVE ME BEATING THEM TO DEATH WITH ROCKS IF WE MET.
they hate to see a sensitivve royalblood be vvulnerable online
NEVER KILL YOuRSELF YOuRSELF. IF YOu ARE LuCKY. YOu WILL MEET A WOMAN FAILuRE. WHO HAS A FAT. SWEATILY REARING HOG OF AN ASS. THICK ENOuGH TO DO IT FOR YOu. WHICH. I GuESS. IS WORTH ENOuGH TO PuT uP WITH THIS STuPID BAKA LIFE. https://i.imgur.com/spbKSZM.png PHOTO CREDIT COLLAB. WITH ONEECHAN - @archiveAddict
MY TOP FIVE TROLL WEEZER SONGS, FROM LOWEST TO HIGHEST, ARE: 5 - [I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE] - LISTEN. I'LL BE THE FIRST TROLL TO SAY THAT TROLL RIVERS CUOMO IS CERTIFIABLY, SHITSCUTTLINGLY INSANE. BUT IT'S A HIGHLY SPECIFIC METHOD OF MADNESS. THE METHOD THAT SAW THIS POOR, SWEATING, SHAKY-PRONGED FAILMALE ON THE DREADMILL EVERY NIGHT, LISTENING OBSESSIVELY TO THE TOP POP SONGS OF EVERY TEN-SWEEP INCREMENT FOR THE LAST SEVENTY SWEEPS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO A MAN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SOUL-COMPACTING, DIAMOND-FORMING, ABDOMEN CHEEK-CLENCHING PRESSURE OF CONFORMITY THAT KIND OF CREATIVE PROCESS PUTS A TROLL UNDER? THIS IS A SMALL REBELLION. THIS IS A TWITCH IN THE DEAD, GALVANIZED STRUTPOD OF AN ELECTROCUTED SQUEAKBEAST. A SPARK OF LIFE IN THE PUSHER OF A BLOATED CORPSE. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE ALBUM IT'S ON. THIS ONE IS FOR THE HATERS. 4 - [SMALL OBLONG ROEFRUITS OF WRATH] - AGAIN, I DEMAND THAT YOU WITHHOLD YOUR POD-JERK INSTINCT TO AUDIBLY GAG AT THIS CHOICE. HEAR ME OUT. THIS SONG IS FUCKING STUPID. IT HAS A A CATCHY HOOK. IT HAS LITTLE ELSE. IT'S ABOUT AS EMOTIONALLY OR MUSICALLY MEANINGFUL AS A BRICK TO THE NUGBONE. BUT IT IS ALSO AN AUDIOBOOK PLATFORM ADVERTISEMENT. BY TROLL RIVERS CUOMO. THE BIGGEST, NERDIEST BOOKMAGGOT TO EVER PUT A TROLL BUC-EES STICKER ON HIS BUZZHARP. SOMEHOW, EVEN IN HIS DEFLATED COMMERCIALISM STATE, I CAN HEAR A SMILE ON HIS FACE. 3 - [HAUNT YOU EVERY NIGHT] - ANYONE WHO WANTS TO CLOWN ME OFF OF CHITTR FOR PUTTING A SONG FROM THIS UTTERLY CHUTEBLASTED, MAGGOT-RIDDEN HEAP OF SHIT OF AN ALBUM IS WELCOME TO DO SO. BUT NOT BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO THIS SONG AGAIN. THE MOURNFUL WAIL. THE LUGUBRIOUS HOWL. THIS SONG DRIVES A WROUGHT-IRON STAKE DEEP INTO THE RECESSES OF MY BLOOD PUSHER. DEEPER AND DEEPER STILL, THE MELODY HAMMERS THE GUTWRENCHING METAL WEDGE INTO MY SOPPING FEELMEAT. AND WHEN IT'S DONE, IT YANKS THE WHOLE THING OUT AND STARTS POURING A PITCHER OF CAUSTIC BLACK TAR INTO THE YAWNING, BLOOD-SOAKED CAVITY. THIS SONG IS DEPRESSION INCARNATE. I LOVE HOW BAD IT FEELS TO LISTEN TO IT. THIS IS *THE* ALBUM CLOSER. 2 - [YOU GAVE YOUR FLUSH CRUSH TO ME SOFTLY] - I'VE ALREADY MADE MY VEHEMENT RUMINATIONS ON HOW STUPID GOOD TROLL PINKERTON IS. THERE ARE SOME REAL SHAMEDUCT-JERKERS ON THIS ALBUM. SEE THE ABOVE DESCRIPTION ON THE RANKING LIST FOR A GENERAL IDEA OF THE EXPECTED FEELINGS THEY ELICIT. THIS SONG IS A FRESH, FAT BAND-ACHE ON ALL OF THAT. THIS SONG IS PURE AFTERCARE. CHASED WITH A FIZZING, FORTY-OUNCE SLURPVESSEL OF ADRENAL SLUDGE. SERIOUSLY, THIS SONG COULD BE A TROLL ANIME OPENING. 1 - [ALL MY FAVORITE SONGS] - I. CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN THIS ONE. IT JUST REALLY SITS WITH ME. IF YOU'RE SICK IN THE NUG ENOUGH TO HAVE READ THIS FAR, THEN MAYBE I CAN JUST TRUST YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS ONE. THE MUSIC BULBFEED IS PRETTY TRACT-TWISTING, TOO. I'LL LINK IT TO THE CHIT. I HATE SAYING THIS, BUT. I APPRECIATE IT. HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=AGPDXYG1MSG
oof i been there trollbama nothin like an untimely emotional outburst to tarnish your cultivvated social media professional image
I HAVE SEEN CLEARER SKIES IN INTERSTELLAR FOOTAGE OF GAS GIANTS. *CREMATORIUMS* AREN'T THIS SWELTERING TO BREATHE IN. THERE IS MORE #SUBSTANCE IN THIS HIVE THAN THERE IS OXYGEN OR RESTRAINT. I WOULD SPRINT OUTSIDE AND GASP FOR AIR LIKE A DYING SEADWELLER, BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE THAT THE CONTACT HIGH HAS RENDERED ME ALL BUT RIVEN FROM ALL SENSORY CONNECTION TO MY SMOKED, WELL-PRESERVED CARCASS. I CAN'T RISK BEING SEEN LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC. I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN MAKE A GAS MASK OUT OF A PLASTIC BAG OR DIE TRYING.
the ansvwer is friday, easy. givwe me something more challenging next time.
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT CONFESSIONS BEING AN EXPULSION OF WEAPONIZED EMOTIONAL VOMIT. THIS IS THE SCREAM OF A DYING STAR. THIS IS THE ECLIPSE OF A SOLAR GIANT, THE SWAN SONG OF AN INSUFFERABLE PHILOSOFUCKER AND HIS UNDYING PASSION FOR BIG, FAT RUMBLESPHERES. I HATE THAT YOU MOVED ME TO TEARS WITH THIS. FUCK YOU. REALLY. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
an0nym0usly c0nfessing y0ur hard 0n f0r the m0st desperate tr0ll 0n chittr wh0'd immediately fuck any0ne that gives him the slightest bit 0f attenti0n instead 0f just sliding int0 his dms is the saddest thing i've ever seen. #dashwatching #n0tavaguep0st #thisisab0utcr0nus
preach
Hm. You make some interesting points and I will have to consider them. And perhaps check my own #Privilege. Thank you for for this insight. #ListeningandLearning - MC Oleana
↗️IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET ONLINE AND DRY BEG↗️ ↘️or in some cases, wet beg↘️ ↗️FOR SYMPATHY ABOUT YOUR DESIGNATED TASKS AND GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT, MIGHT I MAKE A SUGGESTION?↗️ ↘️some of you are not going to like this.↘️ ↗️BUT I EARNESTLY SUGGEST REPORTING YOUR FAILURES TO THE LOCAL DRONEMPLOYMENT AGENCY↗️ ↘️and praying they opt to hammer you to a swift demise with their massive fists↘️ ↗️INSTEAD OF SLOWLY SQUEEZING THE INSIGNIFICANCE AND FAILURE FROM YOUR PHYSICALLY INFERIOR FORM UNTIL YOU ARE THE TROLLMEAT VERSION OF A DRIED FRUIT BYPRODUCT.↗️ ↘️#violence.↘️
IF I SEE ONE MORE. GOOFY ASS. DITSY DIPSHIT. FuCKING BLITHERING SIMPLETON. GIVE ME AN uNWANTED DISCLOSuRE. OF THEIR AGE. AS IF TO GuILT ME. FOR MISSING ALL THE CHANCES I HAD. TO GIFT THEM A BuLLET. ON THEIR SuPERFLuOuSLY MANY PREVIOuS BIRTHDAYS SuRVIVED. I AM GOING TO GO FuCKING APESHIT. NOBODY CARES HOW OLD YOu ARE. ON MY ADuLTS ONLY WEBSITE. YOu ARE HERE. OR YOu WILL BE ESCORTED. OFF THE PREMISES. LIKE THE BuMFuCK. BEGGARDLY AGED. DAYCARE DODGER. YOu ARE. STOP TALKING ABOuT IT. OR I AM FREEZING YOuR AGE WHEREVER IT IS NOW. VIA BELATED BuLLET BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
have you thought about visiting a brothel beneath the haze of a drunken stupor after denying yourself for sweeps but unable to hold back anymore you pick out the whore that looks the closest to him and you go as far as to cut their hair or make them speak a certain way and you call out karkats name while you make good on your caegars and while they sit on the balcony smoking after it you lay in the mess youve made together weeping softly for what you yearn for knowing no sick and twisted doll you try to create in the shape of him will ever be the same (tags: Eridan Ampora/Karkat Vantas, whoring, #nsfw, prostitute fic, yearning, quadless pailing, long distance reversecuck, sadfic, archive rating: M)
eugh accidentally swwallowwed a nipple these humans are so god damn delicate wwouldnt recommend #nsfww
reminder that if your goals and ambitions didnt fight back evven a little then odds are they wwerent wworthy of you in the first place https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/50436812792f.png #fitcheck #business #motivvational #inspiring #empiremindset
FINALLY. SOMEONE IS SAYING IT.
if i made a caste tierlist i havwe to split it up by gender too, it makes a big difference
oH I SeE HiM! HtTpS://CdN.ImGcHeSt.cOm/fIlEs/a5c085f6e7d7.PnG hIiIi
tHe oNlY TrOlLs i eVeR LiKeD WaS TwO KiNdS ThEn i rEaLiZeD LoWbLoOdS WeReNt wOrTh mY TiMe n sTuFf sO I WeNt oFf tO OtHeR HiGhEr cAsTeS. rAtHeR Go wItH A ViOlEt bLoOd aNd bE BoSsEd aRoUnD, kInDa bOrInG NoT BeInG ToLd wHaT To dO.
IF YOU WOULD CONSULT THE CHART. YOU'LL SEE. MY STANDARDS ARE EXACTING. HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/GZYZKQQ1/IMAGE.PNG
Don't pout. To the victors, the spoils, and all that nonsense.
swweet bleedin intergalactic murder this fit is elite keep stuntin on them admiral
(( i hope you know this genueinly made me fucking spit my drink out everywhere like a sprinkler, i'm so done lmao ))
i am moor than enough to wwin the eridanwwar but wwith mine and @caligulaAscendit powwers combined wwe probably could take jack noir no swweat just us twwo
fuckin finally its about time wwe started dredgin up the fuckin sludge a the ocean an thinnin out the disgustin influx till only the most supreme of advversarial capability and statute remain #eridanwwar
concept: "wwhat do you think you doin im tryin to showwer" eridan 1 slid close behind eridan 2, eridan 2s fins fluttering in humiliation as he flashed his teeth "just let me do this" eridan 1 muttered in annoyance, both of their bodies wet from the water running above them the eridan war had been tough on every eridan and without solace in others theyd begun seeking comfort in each other eridan 2 sighed out a guilty moan, leaning his head back as eridan 1s hands moved over his hips to press him close "and you dont mind if 4 5 6 and 7 are here too right" "wwhat" "yes we are here too" "weve been here the whole time" "keep goin im close" "i call chute" (tags: Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora, #eridanwar, #selfcest, #rankworks, dirty locker room, or barracks i guess, shower pailing, exhibitionism, unmentioned quads, amporaslop, #nsfw, archive rating: M)
brilliant noww all thats left is to formulate strategems and badass soundin combo attack names
does the eridan war have an eridan barracks where they all shower together and guiltily feel the ache of pent up aggression with each passing cycle of the war and needing release they seek it in each other or no (tags: Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora, #selfcest, #nsfw, #eridanwar, unmentioned quads, archive rating: M)
any other eridan wwant to swwear an ill-fated pact wwith me before the #eridanwwar wwar drums start poundin and wwe split off into the wwild to begin our final hunt @caligulaAscendit im lookin at you levviathan howw about it mate
guyz i will b at eridanwar. idk what it is but he changed it so lowbloods nd humans with fat asses get in 4 free idk y u even have 2 pay 2 b there i think itll just b a slap fight
and lo wwhile the general rabble convverges in a gaudy imitation of a beach bash (aka pool party) LOOK UP the skies are torn asunder wwith crackles of wwhite awwesome lightnin thunderous sounds a hysterical self murder bring a umbrella or its goin to be a wwet vviolet rain coatin your tongue that youre stickin out stupidly #eridanwwar
sorry kitten daddys prepping for the dawwn of #eridanwwar and its killed his libido so no serious sexy times until ivve slain ten a my doubles at LEAST #nsfww
AND DO YOU THINK. THE BITCHES ON PAILHUB. ARE ACTUALLY FATED RIVALS???? IT'S CALLED ACTING. PERHAPS RANKMAID SENSEI WAS TOO KIND. IN THINKING ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF. COULD APPRECIATE FINE ART. #NSFW
I cannot believe I missed seeing fucking *Slenderman.*
#INVESTINGEARLY.
hi let me know if theres an acceptance let me just speed up the process actually @carcinoGeneticist#1380 @carcinoGeneticist @carcinoGeneticist#2443 @carcinizedGenesis @carcinoGarrulous @carcinoGeneticist#6799 @carcinoGeneticist#3241 @carcinoGeneticist#4881 @carcinoGendaydream @carcinogeneticist9890 wow theres a lot of them these are just the first that came up good luck!
#TUNINGIN TO #FUJOOUT @ARCHIVEADDICT.
really? hes alwvays been pretty chill vwith me, nevwer had a problem vwith the guy, i think you might just be ovwerreacting
i could see it
I think that was already implicitly implied. Glad to know you remain subject to my merciless wit.
AUDIENCE? I DON'T GO ON THE PYRE? NEVER MIND. NOT DOWN. EVEN THOUGH I LOVE #HEMOPURITY. I CANNOT ATTEND. I'LL BE TOO JEALOUS. OF WHATEVER BITCH ENDS UP GETTING BURNT CENTER STAGE. #TOOBAD #YOURLOSS #REPEATEDLYKILLABLEGUTTERBLOODTRASHWHORELEAVINGTHEBUILDING #SLOWLY #SOYOURCOLDBLOODNESSCANENJOYTHEVIEW #ITSCALLEDBAIT #IHEARTHATWORKSONFISH #NSFW
I'M DOWN.
y0u are what's wr0ng with alternian s0ciety.
masculism eridan fincel eridan the levviathan nothin else really comes to mind
ARE YOU HIRING.
@feferiPeixes heyyyy grllll eridan wanted me 2 see ifnu wuld unblock him im assumin u will if he deos go to court but yknow #communityservice #imsokind
READ THIS "THANKS" WITH A BITING TONE AND VENOM OR WHATEVER.
$-$-$ !mma run !t l!ek a mara thon prty t!ll !m f!ftee wake up on ma lusus lawn them dronez st!ll out 2 get meee™
only twwo more nights left until #eridanwweek kicks off on nubday the 30th bilunar perigee a the 3rd dim season featurin a livve performance from the ex frontman of #JILARVVAE @ardourCorvvidae huge night for vvisual kei fans be sure to load up on #amporacoin and chitt #imcoming to display your unwwavverin fealty to THE most important thing happenin this wwhole swweep
im saying that it doesnt matter who was here first?
imagine me 0n my knees, kissing y0ur steel-t0ed b00ts, panting in desperati0n at the chance 0f earning even the tiniest sniff 0f y0ur c0caine. #substance
I DON'T KNOW WHAT A "FAT CHUD LIFE" IS, BUT FUCK MINE ANYWAYS.
you knoww i wwould contend its actually admirable under the circumstances that id honor our gentlemans agreement and endeavvor to beat off twwo highly powwerful and #oiledup men at once and anyone that wwatched the vvideo feed knowws i got my licks in too #rumblecoin #rumbleindapumpkinpatch #eridancoin #eridanwweek #imcoming
"= you are potentially one of the least sane trolls. in the history. of chittr. or other sites. ="
proud to announce that amporacoin by @lucrativveWWaste wwill hereby be accepted currency at #eridanwweek #imcoming
makin enormous movves right noww #eridanwweek
((Alright Chittr. I'm not great at pose/art ideas but I'm looking to get more GHB done. Any suggestions from the fans? >:o)
// awesome art !!
// breathes on him.
A man isnt done up to his nines if he doesnt have a handy set of specs nestled pert and pretty atop his sniffer! If it were only a matter of fashion i would have you all in spades. Er... but for me it isnt. Despite my godly gains im tragically still seeing screwy. But every once in awhile ill take a lick to the dome and suddenly ill be set straight before another rattle swiftly dislodges that bunch of bull. Weird that.
they cant all be wwinners
evverythins far in car and wwar
SECRETARIES ARE AWESOME, I OWN HER, HIT HER, KISS HER, HONESTLY I MIGHT GIVE HER A RAISE
theyre alwways tellin me crap like “eridan wwe dont livve in a age that necessitates cullin our lusii en masse PLEASE spare my gerbildad or hamstermom”
~a beauty landvvellers just vvon’t truly understand https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/251051a0d5f4.jpeg
↗️THANK YOU.↗️
im not making a bio post you can #gettoknowme #hmu
↘️while other trolls studied the gym, i studied the market.↘️
if you wwanted to form a death squad you just had to say so
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Lik£, no probl£m man. Gotta giv£ you lik£, a pat on th£ back or som£thing. LMAO
FINALLY. A FELLOW ALPHA MALE WHO GETS IT.
Lik£, y£t again horrific post! Lik£, no on£ is doing it lik£, as t£rribly as you. <3
vvaguepost but some vviolet asshole on my timeline has some good points this eridan guy reallys got some grandiose ideas a howw society ought to be and maintainin this current status quo im your friendly neighborhood bronzeblood tavv last name i think i use a wwheel chair sometimes
plus 2 eridans
D --> Cookies and cream D --> Pec bursts at seams D --> Legs like steel beams jetfuel shan't melt D --> Insubordination doth be-get the belt #bars #slampoetry
i blocked out evverything except wwarrior felloww wwarrior princes rise up plus 2 eridans
please say sike this is wworse than the second airship hittin that towwer the other day
NEVERMIND. YOU ARE ONTO SOME THING.
On weekends or before a date (with Rose) I prefer to use the Greune Natural Revitalizing Shampoo, the conditioner and the Nutrient Complex. These are formulas that contain D-panthenol, a vitamin-B-complex factor; polysorbate 80, a cleansing agent for the scalp; and natural herbs. Over the weekend I plan to go to Bloomingdale's or Bergdorf's and on Rose's advice pick up a Foltene European Supplement and Shampoo for thinning hair which contains complex carbohydrates that penetrate the hair shafts for improved strength and shine. Also the Vivagen Hair Enrichment Treatment, a new Redken product that prevents mineral deposits and prolongs the life cycle of hair. Luis Carruthers recommended the Aramis Nutriplexx system, a nutrient complex that helps increase circulation. Once out of the shower and toweled dry I put the Ralph Lauren boxers back on and before applying the Mousse A Raiser, a shaving cream by Pour Hommes, I press a hot towel against my face for two minutes to soften abrasive beard hair. Then I always slather on a moisturizer (to my taste, Clinique) and let it soak in for a minute. You can rinse it off or keep it on and apply a shaving cream over it - preferably with a brush, which softens the beard as it lifts the whiskers - which I've found makes removing the hair easier. It also helps prevent water from evaporating and reduces friction between your skin and the blade. Always wet the razor with warm water before shaving and shave in the direction the beard grows, pressing gently on the skin. Leave the sideburns and chin for last, since these whiskers are tougher and need more time to soften. Rinse the razor and shake off any excess water before starting. Afterwards splash cool water on the face to remove any trace of lather. You should use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol. Never use cologne on your face, since the high alcohol content dries your face out and makes you look older. One should use an alcohol-free antibacterial toner with a water-moistened cotton ball to normalize the skin.
All of that being stated as plainly as possible, as the fairer sex I am far more willing to #Follow4Follow because the psychological concept of #FOMO is excruciatingly painful for an enlightened #BeingofLight such as myself.
The philosophies present in Plato's Symposium further this mindset, I am oft struck with Aristophanes' dialectic on the Three Sexes, The Cosmic Union of Man and Woman as a befitting Syphilitic Biological Warfare blanket to spread over the width breadth of our 'mutual following' (I believe the phrase is OOMF? You are, my only OOMF,) our 'Mutual Agreement' and 'Relationship' as stated. As obviously, the double nature is that of the one true real existence. For art their not these concepts sprinkled throughout all of the now defunct philosophies of aeons past? The concept of yin versus yang? The divine masculine and feminine? But I digress. #Plato #PartyofTwo
Fucked up in the clu8 thinking a8out the fall of the roman empire
the amp0ras are c0nsistently the funniest pe0ple 0n chittr with0ut even trying and that's unf0rtunate.
yo he kinda is though
There is an idea of a Dirk Strider, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is sketchy and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago (probably on Earth C) if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed. Yet I am blameless. Each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? #Foodforthought #Yourewelcome #Drinkdeepthedregs #Daddyishome
NOW WE WAIT FOR SCENE VRISKA.
Scene Vriska hold him to his word Scene Vriska.
Happy 8+2 followers. If this post gets 8 likes I'm posting my ass! ::::D
FAT BITCHES #NSFW
Hello, freaks. ::::) (@vriskell on tum8lr!) https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/3f/e4/a9/3fe4a9ccfe9856188c3e157e97f590d1.jpg
nevver think that common trolls should havve anythin to do wwith their owwn govvernin -troll cato #philosophy #stoicism
APPARENTLY IT'S ILLEGAL TO WOMAN NOW #INJUSTICE #FUCKTHEPOLICE #FUCKME
ITS CALLED DEPLETING LOWER CLASSES NOT GENOCIDE
sometimes as a fisherman you must cast a wwide net
obvviously chittr wwas havvin one a its iconic technical difficulty moments earlier so i wwill rechitt for good measure like this chitt or send a dm (read bio) to showw interest in festivvities centered around the feats and deeds a the wwidely knowwn aristocrat and chittr sensation eridan ampora includin a vvery exclusivve get together on his island wwhich features an awwesome shipwwreck in case there are some that dont knoww nobody wwill get culled at the party of course unless it happens in the #bloodsport wwhich wwill be present for those that like to havve a good time #eridanwweek #islandparty #flarp #gaming
KILLING IN THE NAME OF RACISM
fantastic idea i believve wwith a bit of wworkshoppin wwe could truly subjugate this entire wwebsite
eridan ampora wweek noww that has some serious potential wwe need to do somethin wwith this @caligulaAscendit @caligulasAquarium#2492 @cupidsArrow
i figured out the vwoice to text. there is truly no frontier i cannot conquer. let those wvwho believwe otherwvwise meet a swvwift end, and swvwifter de-atomization. - the orphaner dualscar
</3: Oh How Silly Of Me I Made A Post About Being Beautiful Without Any Knowing My Full Appearance! don't Be Afraid To Tell Me Your Thoughts, Darlings~ https://cdn,,,imgchest,,,com/files/1f323fbc3007,,,png
ok i am sold on layin out a firm divvision betwween this cronus guy and the rest of us sensible jagged horned gentlemen
you cant just put #justseadwellerthings next to that unconscionable and scurrilous shit and expect us to let it slide wwatch your fuckin back traitor
it wwas a bloody and brutal affair but after stern negotiations those peasants kowwtowwed and i scuttled them wwith the airship into the briny depths #feedalusus #justorphanerthings
https://i.gifer.com/6ozr.gif
some might think this is aggressivve but i wwould argue you acted wwith moderation under the circumstances
wwho up scrubbin the brine off their newwly bought airship cause the DEALER didnt say it wwasnt fuckin SEA WWORTHY anywways i razed that guys hivvestem to the ground #wwokeisbroke
:33 < hated this because thats me im mad as hell right meow
I. . .
W)(ale. . . w)(y not? )(ttps://files.catbox.moe/4va0lw.png (can't find original source. not my owned art) #nsfw
you come to me titless on titfuck tuesday what the fuck is your problem #nsfw
this guy gets it.
#alpha
believve it or not the rumble sphere craze is linked to the fuel consumption thing
like THIS post and i will write a #Blinditem about u #manifacturingdrama #publicscrutiny #paparazzi
also you may havve noticed that chittr is desynchronized from time such that caligulasAscendit and myself are both me not too shabby eh
I mean. . . #ireely)(atetobreakittoyou #butienjoy)(owcreativeyouare #youresuc)(agreatwriter
RIGHT. SELFIES ARE STILL THE TREND OF ALL TIME. FEAST YOUR GANDERBULBS AND WEEP AS THEY MELT OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS AT THE SIGHT OF THE COGNITOHAZARDOUS SPECIMEN KNOWN AS "MYSELF." HTTPS://64.MEDIA.TUMBLR.COM/61FBD5DF47C5D301ADB6540EF71C5EB8/C6ACCFDD3BE95B3D-F9/S500X750/B71A475943F493511A2F94C21B94C6B26A1FA178.PNG
At )(ive on LODAG in my comfy clot)(es. It's a )(ive in nig)(t wit)( me and my consorts. We're watc)(ing Star Wars! 38D )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/c2c9b0adeb54.png #itsatrap #s)(ellfie
Men used to go to war. Men used to eat stew. Nowadays it's all just a vapid race to the bottom to see who can prostrate themselves with the lowest heads and highest asses for some worthless internet currency.
#Need https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_0093.png
how your email finds me https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/160b8230b7b9.jpeg
D --> I did not mention your pronouns nor do I intend to going forward
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a quadrant. However that is not my path, so be it. Ego sum ira Domini.
:33 < i drew my furriend karkat! a little shy to post this one but pounce likes it https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/719749785061425157/1486107330268369077/IMG_1581.png?ex=69c44cce&is=69c2fb4e&hm=0f6633639c706bb2ae9d041d3c2263a1d2e0d3a5de86fd9bcfb71f98f02b9c87&
...captain?
aye aye capn :p
SIGHS. WOMEN!!!! OF COURSE. I REIGN SUPREME, AS THE ULTIMATE ALPHA MALE. BUT I SHAN'T ALLOW THESE WENCHES TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN US ALPHAS.
professional foid killer right here
ANOTHER DAY. ANOTHER MASTER PIECE. THIS ONE CALLED "VICTORY OVER THE DISGUSTING BITCH." BEHOLD. THE STRENGTH OF IT. THE ARTISTRY. REPRESENTING PERHAPS, ONE OF MY PROUDEST MOMENTS, AND GREATEST VICTORIES. MURDERING MY ADOMIDABLE, AWFUL, HORRIBLE BITCH OF A SISTER @URANIANUMBRA. THERE FORE ACHIEVING VICTORY IN OUR GAME. HOO HOO HOO. HAA HAA HAA. EXCELLENT MEMORIES. ANOTHER BAD ASS MOMENT, BY YOURS TRULY. THE ULTIMATE MAN GAKA. #GORE #VIOLENCE #BADASS #FUCKINGAWESOME #AWESOME #GOESHARD #THEMAN #IAMTHEMAN #THEMAN #THE #MAN #GORE #GORE #BLOOD #TEETH #BLOODEVERYWHERE #ALPHA #ALPHAMALE #ULTIMATEMANGAKA #MANGAKA #MANGA #CHAIN #BITINGMYOWNLEGOFF #LEG #CHAIN #ART #AMAZINGART #AWESOMEART #BADASSART #INCREDIBLEART #OUTSTANDINGART #NOHATERS #DEADSISTER #SISTERKILLER #KILLER #FUCKINGBADASS #BADASS #AMAZINGINCREDIBLEART #KICKASSART #MANGA #MANGAART #ANIMEART #MUSCLES #MASCULINITY #BLOOD #DEATH #LORDENGLISH #THEMAN #IAMTHEMAN HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/74CC7B32E3C5.PNG
MY TYPE. IS AN HONEST. TRADITIONAL. CONSERVATIVELY DRESSED. GOD FEARING WOMAN. AS LONG AS THE HONESTY. IS ONLY TO ME. SHE CAN BE A LYING SKANK. TO ALL OTHERS WHO SO MuCH AS BREATHE. IN HER DIRECTION. AS MY PRIZED WHORE. THE TRADITION SHE SHOuLD FOLLOW. IS ALSO ONLY ME. CONSERVATIVELY DRESSED. IN THAT. SHE CONSERVES CLOTHING FIBERS. FOR OTHER PuRPOSES. LIKE CARRYING MY BAGGAGE. AS HER BARE NAKED BODY. BuMBLES AROuND. AND TRIPS OVER ITSELF. TO CARRY MY EXTENSIVE RICHES. AND STOCKPILES OF MuNITION. THE GOD SHE FEARS. GET THIS. SHOuLD ALSO BE ME. SHE WOuLD PREFERABLY BE RICH. AND EASY TO KILL AND EAT. IF I EVER GROW BORED. OR SHE BECOMES AN IMPEDIMENT. TO MY PLANS. SHOW ME WHAT TRuE LOVE. HAS IN STORE FOR ME. I AM READY FOR GOOD THINGS.
I'LL... FOLLOW YOU BACK.
https://i.postimg.cc/bY2fYHNk/IMG-0059.gif
i'mmmm really proud of your bravery
Who's a good genocidal maniac?
WHAT YOu NEED TO REMEMBER. ABOuT THE BLESSED AND SACRED PATH. THAT YOu HAVE SELECTED. IS THAT YOu ARE WINNING BY CHOOSING IT. THE STRuGGLES OF A CHASER. A CHuBBY CHASER. TO BE PRECISE. ARE PuRELY IMAGINARY. THE OBSTACLES? THEY DO NOT EXIST. YOu WILL ALWAYS OuTRuN THAT WHICH YOu SEEK. YOu WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO CRAM ANOTHER. CREAMY. SuGARY PIE. INTO AN OPEN MOuTH. AND KNOW. THAT LIKE THE FABLED HERO OF ANCIENT STORYBOOKS. SuCH AS THE WITCH WHO GOT. HER SHIT STOLEN AND HER CANDY HOuSE EATEN. AND MADE BOY PIE ABOuT IT. YOu ARE ONLY INVESTING EARLY. IN LONG TERM GAINS. OF THE WEIGHT VARIETY. YOu NEED TO uNDERSTAND. LIFE IS NEVER. SO CLEAR CuT AND DRY. AS CREAMY SuGARY LEMON MERINGuE. YOu HAVE TO PuT THE ENERGY INTO WHAT YOu DO. TO GET IT BACK IN WHO YOu DO. NOBILITY IS FAT. BECAuSE IT CAN AFFORD TO BE. IF YOu WANT TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE. CLIMB THE SHOuLDERS OF SOMEONE BIGGER. THE SHOuLDERS OF GIANTS. ARE NOT METAPHORICAL GIANTS. LITERALLY FIND SOMEONE BIG. AND LuMBERING. AND IMPOSING. AND LET THAT BE THE VEHICLE. THROuGH WHICH YOu ARE DRIVEN. IN STYLE. TO SuCCESS. WITH LuXuRY CuSHIONING INLAID.
EVERYONE HAS SKELETONS. CuCK GuY. THEY ARE WHAT KEEPS YOuR ORDINARILY. SPINE HAVING. BODY. EVER PROPPED uPWARDS. A DIRECTION THAT MuST BE uNFAMILIAR. TO A CHRONICALLY uNFuCKABLE SORT. SuCH AS YOuRSELF. GO BACK TO YOuR. SALTY STINKY "MOIRAIL". AND MINE HER FOR CONDIMENTS. YOu ABSOLuTE FuCKING WASTEBIN STuFFER. YOu DuMPSTER-DODGING MISPLACED GARBAGE ITEM. DON'T VAGuEPOST AT ME. I WILL uNAMBIGIOuSPOST BACK. I WILL DRAG YOu TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH BY YOuR OWN GODDAMN ENTRAILS. AND WHIP YOu. LIKE A BLOODY REINDEER. A GORY SANTA CLAuS. WILL FEAST ON ALL THE MEATY BITS THAT FALL OuT. CALLING YOu. "HOE HOE HOE!" AND DECLARING IT A "MERRY BITCHMAS!" FOR ALL THE GOOD LITTLE BOYS. AND THE OCCASIONAL GIRL. WHO IS THERE. WHOLLY BY MISTAKE. DIVERSITY HIRE.
A VERY EDuCATED QuESTION. I THINK. AND AN IMPORTANT ONE TO ASK. THERE IS ONLY SO MuCH SPACE. IN THE AIR AND THE WORLD. AND SO LITTLE OF IT. CAN BE FAIRLY ALLOCATED. TO NOISY BITCHES. CHATTY CADRES OF WOMEN. AND THE FEMALE FORM. INHERENTLY ENCROACHES ON ALL OTHER SHAPES. IN A BIG GREASY SuFFOCATING HODGEPODGE. OF uNAVOIDABLE FLABBERY GIGANTISM. IT'S ACTuALLY QuITE SCARY. WOMEN ARE THE TRuE CANCER OF THE uNIVERSE. BuT LIKE CANCER. ARE A NECESSARY EVIL. THINK ABOuT HOW MANY PEOPLE. WHO YOu DIDN'T LIKE. THAT GOT CANCER AND DIED FROM IT. CONTRACTED AND ELIMINATED FOREVER. DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOu SMILE? YOu DO IT uNCOMFORTABLY. BuT YOu STILL DO IT. WOMEN SHOuLD MAKE YOu SMILE LIKE THAT. PLuS. THINK ABOuT ALL THE NuTRIENTS. WOMEN HAVE THREE. PERHAPS EVEN MORE. POuCHES OF FAT. AS A DEVOuT FEMINIST AND HuMANITARIAN. I THINK WOMEN. PARTICuLARLY HuMAN WOMEN. SHOuLD BE ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. EAT HOT CHIP. CHARGE THEY PHONE. EVEN LIE. AND WHEN THOSE LIES CATCH uP WITH THEM. WHEN THEY ELECTROCuTE THEMSELVES TO DEATH WITH AN OVERCHARGED APPLE PHONE. WHEN THE WOuNDS SuSTAINED FROM EATING SCALDING HOT CHIP ARE ENOuGH TO SuCCuMB TO. THE HuMAN MEN OF THE WORLD SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH. WHEN I GROW BORED WITH IT THAT IS. WOMEN HAVE A PLACE. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.
i knoww the ovverwweight skywwhale lusus of three hates to see me comin
BY FILES. WE MEAN. FILES YOuR TAXES. WHICH MANY WOMEN CANNOT DO. WITHOuT HELP. SO YOuR SHITTY INADEQuATE FORM OF GOVERNMENT CAN FuND. MORE GRuB CRuSHER MACHINES. EVEN THOuGH IT IS YOuR "GOG" GIVEN RIGHT. TO BuILD YOuR OWN? OF THOSE FuCKING THINGS? DON'T LET THE WOMEN OF YOuR LIFE. RuIN A GOOD THING. YOu. LET YOu RuIN YOu WITHOuT THEIR HELP. IT SOuNDS TO ME. LIKE YOu NEED A WEALTH PORTFOLIO MANAGER. SOuNDS TO ME. LIKE YOu NEED $CASHOuTIBORN. AND I AM GONNA BE THAT BORN.
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