Eridan Ampora
@caligulaAscendit
sensitivve young man | classicist | philosopher | radical indivvidual | sophisticated intellectual | paragon a poetic grace | heartthrob a vvibrant young wwomen ((icon by @ratking-buffet))
@aeneasCaldarium can wwe go to mcmaggots the slaughterfeud misery meal collab is out
i literally had to do the "he asked for no pickles" thing last time, you cant order for shit. i dunno wvhy they evwen put those in vwith your nuggies.
for the last TIME its perfectly normal for a thirteen swweep your old to havve this much invvestment in tiny plastic figures im FINE
it wwasnt my fault that rustie wwagecuck kept haranguin me "sir are you ready to order" "sir youre holdin up the line" "sir wwould you like tuber strips wwith that" thats too many questions by the wway can you order for me again
your posture pole constantly astounds me man. pull at it from some directions and its ram rod straight, but a different direction and its a slinky.
For a gutterblooded moron, perhaps. But for a man of your age, and your status it is pathetic to vwatch your collect little plastic figurines and images of fictional vwar machines. You havwe the funds for the real deal, Eridan. Start the collection if a real man.
dont bring my posture pole into this just say yes talkin to mcjobbers offends me
alright ima let you cook wwith this one old man a panzer parked in my lawwn ring does sound pretty awwesome
fine, fine, vwell go. but if reginas vworking the register you shut the hell up and let me vwork my magic, got it? her rack does things to me.
gonna say somethin the wwarmer crowwd aint gonna like men are naturally more attractivve than wwomen on avverage thats wwhy wwomen need makeup this aint me bein gay its science
mEaNt lIkE BeInG NaTuRaLlY AtTrAcTiVe. YoU AiN'T ExTrEmElY EaSy tO LoOk aT BrO.
gam i honest to flippin condesce dont care wwatcha think about my looks you are the last troll im tryin to impress
yEaH I KnOw (O: jUsT LiKe cAlLiN Ya uGlY. aLsO ThInK We sHoUlD BrEaK Up fRoM ThIs fAkE KiS ShIt. WaS LiKe fUn bUt nOt rEaLlY. m oVeR ThE QuAd sHiT, kK LaId mY EgG. gOt bEtTeR JuSt tO WoRrY BoUt.
yEaH Ya dId, GoTtA LeT ChA KnOw m lIvInG YeR FaT, pReGnAnT KaRkAt dReAmS. (O: hAtE YoU. pLaToNiCaLlY.💜
you ovverestimate howw much i care about your life an your incubator
nUh-uH (o: KnOw yOu cArE, yEr a sEnSiTiVe yOuNg mAn rEmEmBeR. tRyInG To pIsS Me oFf. MoThErFuCkEr tHaT'S AlL KiNdSa pAtHeTiC.
bein a snivvelin simulacrum of a senstivve young man requires me to givve a fuck first an wwell in this case scenario i dont wwhat the fuck do ya wwant me to say here youre not gonna get a different response by needlin me an throwwin out trite insults youre tryin to dig deeper wwhen youvve already hit the bedrock theres no wwhere to go from here gam cause i just dont givve a flyin skyhorse
aLrIgHt bRo (O:
a mark a hemospectral superiority is havvin ibs only seadwwellers wwith the purest blood get regular tummy aches
untrue my brother eats worse than i do an can keep goin idk how he packs it all away his metabolisms crazy
w|ssh|n u A very not tummy Ache
you probably eat cavve rocks an lusus droppins i dont expect you to understand
cant make sense a this malarkey i diagnose you wwith vviolet tummy
fool wwhat do you knoww about my diet i exclusivvely eat unflavvored spaghetti wwith wwithout blood apple sauce
dog this is so sad. what do you mean you don't eat double fried corndogs. literally the foundation a bartering free time with my bro hinges on me buyin as much dinner as he wants wherever he wants. the trash food is sacred it's what brings us together.