Eridan Ampora
@caligulaAscendit
sensitivve young man | classicist | philosopher | radical indivvidual | sophisticated intellectual | paragon a poetic grace | heartthrob a vvibrant young wwomen ((icon by @ratking-buffet))
no one has evver been as niche or as eccentric as me im the least mainstream most genuine guy in all a paradox space unlike you droolin normoids
｢┐(￣ヘ￣)┌ nyeh.｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: unyafication! (￣ー￣) megane will make a whole world of kyutiegirls! (｀∀´) keh... f(^_^) ah... eto, is eri-chan really nyat a joshi.* *joshi means girl.]
OH RIGHT, SO BOLD OF ME, FORGET IT THEN EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THE LAVENDER ONE YOU SAID YOU LIKED THE SMELL OF. SILLY ME, WHY WOULD I EVER SUGGEST SUCH A THING.
bro come on i knoww the baseline IQ for the avverage oli is abysmal but you cant be THIS dumb
i dont read your primitivve eastern vvernacular SPEAK THE IMPERIAL STANDARD OR GET CULLED
are you sure all these light market oils aint the reason youre a mutie
｢(；｀∀´) if nyot girl, why waifu?｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: blushing demure schooltroll with large rimmed glasses and a floor-length sailorfuku because she's too embarassed to show her ZETTAI ★ TERRITORY (zettai territory is the gap between her skirt and her thigh highs! (*^ーﾟ)~) who wears her hair in long twin braids to denote her PUREPUREPERFECTO kyutiehood? (;´Д｀) gyahhh... eri-chan is choto confusing megane!]
I HAVE IT, DIDN’T SAY I USED IT, CAN YOU READ? WHAT ARE THOSE FUCKING GLASSES FOR IF YOU CAN’T EVEN SCAN A MESSAGE AND PICK UP CONTEXT CLUES? IT’S FUCKING EXPIRED ANYWAY.
wwoww some pal you are i cant believve you wwere tryin to pawwn off expired oils on me im startin to think youre bein put up to somethin fishy
(( #ableism #a-lot-of-ableism #mental-health-discussion #misogyny #nsfwv #nsfvwe #dubcon #cwv-self-harm #cwv-eating-disorder #abuse #cwv-toxic-relationship )) alright, youvwe all been asking for it, so here it is: mental illnesses listed by fuckability. s tier: antisocial personality disorder - they say dont stick your bulge in crazy. i say im already dead anyvways. nook from a girl vwho hates you and evweryone else is alvways a treat. shes probably into some freak shit too. bipolar: best of both vworlds. if shes manic, shes got energy to burn and is more likely to say yes to things. if shes depressed you can do some free use, prone bone type stuff, and shes less likely to say no. dependent - self-explanatory. lowv s for being annoying. a tier: borderline - damz is gonna vwhoop my ass for not putting this in s tier. thats vwhy this aint in s tier. i lovwe a gal vwhos crazy in the sheets, not so much a gal vwhos slashing my tires. narcissism - dunno vwhy this is evwen here. i lovwe self-lovwe! i also lovwe a gal vwhos gonna advwocate for herself. none of that "oh im fine vwith vwhatevwer," this kinda gal is gonna tell me vwhat she vwants and howv she vwants me to do it. anorexia - should this evwen be here? this is a vweird tierlist. this is just betvween a and b. i dont mind a gal vwho vwants to look good and is gonna hang off my evwery vword for vwalidation, but i prefer my babes vwith some meat on their bones. this is the type of babe id bring to olivwe garden, see if vwe cant carboload her and add some curvwes to all the right places. b tier: autism - kink scene special interest? hot. often socially isolated and desperate for approvwal? hot. its vwhen theyre going on about something lame that i get tired of em. ocd - similar reasoning to autism. compulsion to bob her head up and dowvn ten times vwhen shes blovwing me? hell yeah. compulsion to flick the light svwitch on and off ten times? cmon, im trying to read. anxiety - this aint evwen a real disorder. this is terminally online land, all of you havwe anxiety. neutral rank because this is nothing. c tier: paranoia - this dont sound like a real dsm diagnosis and i dont care to look it up. if the girl could be convwinced im the key thatll solvwe shit, fine, but i dont need her assuming im out to get her or something. im a straightforvward guy, im nevwer gonna lie about vwhat i vwant. its irritating. depression - only savwed from a d rank because you can sometimes convwince em that their body (specifically it getting fucked) givwes em some sorta useful purpose. vworst comes to vworst, theres some freeuse livwing potential vwhere she just cant care about getting fucked. adhd - fine, but one time a gal i vwas doing forgot vwe vwere havwing sex and tied the condom into a balloon animal. histrionic - a vweird inclusion, this tierlist sucks. this is the vwoman disorder, im pretty sure. big vwhoop. ptsd - the thousand yard stare is a real vwriggly killer. d tier: panic disorder - im barely evwen sure vwhat this means. i just figure i dont vwant anybody panicking in bed vwith me. seems awvkvward. schizophrenia - this is spelled vwrong in the tierlist thing, aint it? vwell, im not about to get cucked by the hat man. pass. avwoidant - i need her to not avwoid me to do her. thats the vwhole point. bulimia - breath mint.
i think its awwesome that wwe can sexualize wwomen for their mental an physical abnormalities but wwhen a guys a wwee bit underwweight or cod forbid a lil spectrumy wwith his interests hes an unpleasant creep
the double standard is real.
yeah but in a wway it wworks in our favvor cause i wwouldnt wwanna be sexualized vvia the male gaze
okay buddy.
wwhat im just sayin i didnt think that wwould be such a controvversial take
hovwre you more straightgay than i am?
men are monsters cro this aint about being straightgay or #notgay i dont knoww about you but if i had to deal wwith half the bee ess a chick puts up wwith from us id self cull for real instead a postin empty threats for attention
anonymous asks: "id peg the shit out of you" okay vwovw, vwhat are vwe vwaiting for then????? #askcro #nsfvw
sissy behavvior
someone jealous theyre not getting asks about hovw much people vwant to fuck them. #nsfvw #fagmastereridan
actually i havve you should knoww better than anyone not to underestimate the desperation a the avverage spliternet user still wwouldnt let a chick peg me though #fagmastercro #slurs #hesaiditfirst #itstaggedokay #dontsnipeme #nsfww
liar, yes you vwould. if a hot chick talked dovwn to you, you vwouldnt think tvwice about it. i see through you, buddy. #fagmastereridan #lying #nsfvw #slurs
bein degraded by hot girl troll britney spears is not the same as lettin her stick it up my nubile vvirgin wwaste chute #fagmastercro #slurs #potcallinthekettleblack
i shoulda knowwn better than to bare my soul on chittr to a bunch ingrates wwho are either landdwwellin swwill or cuckedgills or both but i must make one thin abundantly clear i am NOT a fuckin twwink
They say denial is the first stage.
Chilly chaser???????? ???? ???? ????????
You thought???? What???? What the hell could you have possi8ly 8een thinking?????
EXCUSE ME?????????
CLEVER. I hope to set the record clear that wh8tever comes out of Cronus' mouth is utter 8ULLSHIT and even if it weren't calling me a "chilly chaser" would 8e a A8SURD notion 8ecause never EVER!!!! in several MILLENIA. AND EVEN FURTHER ON! On any planet or in ANY dream8u88le would I 8e so desper8te as to flirt with you of all people!!!! UGH!!!! XXXXO
oh my bad did i givve the impression that i wwas tryin to slime up to you i see the narcissism is genetic rest assured my good spider bitch the feelin is mutual no matter howw hypnotically your meat wwoobles
gettin real tired a that bloated grassblood baseblock dwwellin mongrel thinkin im a chick come ON its so flippin OBVVIOUS im a dude all i evver talk about is dude stuff
:33 < Awww cmonn!! :33 < Don't get all grouchy now!!
:33 < Hrmph... Point taken... :33 < I wonder if coolscar could tell me...
:33 < Well why not?? Is it because of the they thing?
:33 < Rats... :33 < Do you think he could still tell me??
no because hes not part a boys club quit makin me repeat myself you nosy nosy furball
:33 < I'll stop shoving my snout in your business if you tell me one dude thing!! :33 < Just one!!
i aint budgin the sacred rituals a dude stuff must be guarded from the ill energy a foids
hereby revvokin the twwink pass from all duplictious foids they cant say it anymore
only a twiink can do that 2o are you now admiittiing you’re a twiink?
[🫢]
you havve some gall comin onto my chitt an leavvin a trail a yelloww slime all ovver the place noww my profile smells rank you fuckin twwink
ivve seen a lot a nasty crock durin my swweeps but nothin could havve prepared me for this sentence congrats on bein the most disgustin person troll human or otherwwise on this wwebsite