Eridan Ampora
@caligulaAscendit
sensitivve young man | classicist | philosopher | radical indivvidual | sophisticated intellectual | paragon a poetic grace | heartthrob a vvibrant young wwomen ((icon by @ratking-buffet))
feast your proptotic bulbs on my half of the collaboration wwith herr dirk it is rare nowwalight for a man to meet someone wwith wwhom "shootin the shit" can temporarily abate the painful throb a the chronic crotch infection called life this is no mere turd slingin rather than aimlessly flingin the poopie the pitcher hurls his fecal trinket at the marble base wwith intent evvery movve is calculated an the twwo princes find themselvves at a stalemate wwhat happens next is a fusin a souls so beyond our mortal comprehension its cherenkovvian shockwwavve is enough to blind an entire carriage a orphans or maybe evven twwo orphan carriages like evvery young nobletroll i havve alwways found myself bewwitched by the davvid paintin a troll napoleon crossin the alps it wwould be no exaggeration to say this piece has touched an rubbed an tongued evvery corner a my barren bein in many wways this neoclassical masterpiece is a lovver but it is also a friend a teacher a hero an ideal an a damn good reaction pic for pwwnin bleedin pushers online in the wwise wwords a 4chum its too late ivve already depicted you as the hoofbeast an myself as a heroic military genius @ponyPal
I'm hesitant to call this an honest interpretation of what I requested, but I literally should not have expected anything more. I foolishly assumed we were two stallions in a field, trotting high-hoofed and valiant under the twinkling stars that cross us, but I see now that you're little more than an average faker, just trotting along while I do laps in the pasture. Peep the distinctive lack of bits, bites, halters, or apparatuses of control. No strings on me. Thanks.
this isn't a competition, i am trying to be nice to you by, like, engaging your thinly veiled compulsion. :(
my pen wwas runnin out a ink otherwwise youd be trussed like an oinkbeast no one hates frauds more than ME the second i find a better pen you wwill be up to your human gills in trots an starry fields
um. aren't you supposed to be denying it.
NO STUPID WHY AREN’T YOU LIKE, DENYING THAT YOU HAVE A FETISH TO BEGIN WITH.
wwhat do you think motivvated napoleon to cross the alps the promise a returnin hivve to his matesprits girlstink maybe if you solidified your historical knowwledge youd realize that yesterswweeps infamous megalomaniacs wwere all ragin panty sniffers
ya but the diff between u and napoleon is that he courted joséphine intensely & didn't grovel for double chin & fupa portraits like his loser interlopers (u btw). solidify ur game and we can talk history.
wwho said anythin about grovvelin its a matter a wwavvin my empiricist holly an you wwill be as round an buoyant as my pusher desires i control your plumpness like the office psychopath controls the thermostat to keep his underlin wwet an submissivve
After the titillating reveal of Eridan's artistic reciprocation, I feel it's only responsible of me to belatedly drop the piece that inspired his sordid tryst with the pen to begin with. Behold: Doom Slaying Feast your eyes on the artistic rendition of a dude with nothin' to lose. Behold the glory and gusto of a stallion in a world of marefoids, all clamoring for a suckle at his attention glands, as if he's going to willingly fork over any of that to some girls that really don't even seem all that interested in what he has to say. See how these shortsighted bessies (all of lower social denomination than him, of course) all make attempts at him in one way or another to garner his favor, only for them to ultimately end up ground under his pristine, seapony boot heel. Don't you know, silly rabbit? Tricks are for chicks, and he's been duping you all into thinking there's any part of this worth salvaging. Prospective victims of his runnin' gob circle him, and he sounds a warning shot that no one listens to. Honestly? The writing is on the wall with this one. Poison dart frogs in bright colors kind of thing. C'mon, guys. Be real with yourself. Anyway. There's also a dope-ass volcano in the background, to represent passion and tension coming to an explosive peak. Blam. The heat of the Earth mother herself erupts outward, but isn't near giving or gracious enough to torch this entire scene. She's Mama alright, but Mama doesn't take kindly to easy ways out, and death is the ultimate cheat code to salvation.
that loamy crone an her slaggy eruptions are not the only thin that are comin to a head this fine moontide dirk i find myself seized by a paroxysm a vvolcanic proportions as i rub my roamin bulbs all ovver this masterpiece as if it wwere a scantily dressed foid an i a slightly more confident pervvert the battles just begun my next pen an pencil blitzkrieg wwill strike you wwhen you least expect it
Take out the as if part, broski, there's no denyin' that you're a tried and true pervert of the most unpruned and unrefined variety. Strictly speakin', you are ol' Aqualung on the park bench, pants hastily put on and eyes roaming the horizon for any sign of cleavage. Which isn't a diss on you. Just an observation. It's in style to be a perv these days. Peep the dash, it's every other bit. Regardless, pony up. Let's *Play ball*.
dont compare me to a bunch a feckless hobbyists mate theres a difference vvaster than the depth a the pelagic zone betwween me and these artless kinksters postin their oily booties and monstrous third skippers on chittr i cant remember the last time i felt lust but degradin foids evven in mare form is a full time gig
ivve done it ivve created the perfect damp an squishy cloth replica of a lusus i modeled it after someones wwaspmom (because its uncontested that wwasps are the sexiest shape a beast can be) i pumped full a gaseous noble crystals wwhen i wwas six an noww im about to pump her full a somethin evven better an far richer than your feeble lowwly pans can fathom
@tentacleTheconsensualist i wwill report back wwith my findins post haste an maybe afterwwards wwe can grab some nutrition slop my felloww fact ferret for science
.... @calmedArmageddon 👀?
Swoon. My eyelashes flutter and my heart goes all a pitter patter.
did you seriously just @ one a my phony poser alts wwho also happens to be your matesprit on my rigorous thesis proposal wwhich definitely isnt an excuse for sexual wwish fulfillment wwomen are truly shameless
do those eyelash flutters flap out yes
sorry to burst your bubble buddy, for once im actually not a woman today (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
I was hugged an appropriate amount as a child. Perhaps too much, even.
interestin you knoww its basically science that girls get hugged more than boys the ratio a girlhugs to boyhugs is somethin like 20:1 the hug gap is vvaster than the circumference a her imperial condescensions stern three times ovver if only there wwere a wway to regulate this systematic bias i propose a public wwelfare policy that instates that all hugless young vviolets get a bureaucratically mandated boyhugger
Consider instead the abolishment of the custodian system, to be replaced by a cloth lusus/wire lusus program. Cloth lusus will be constructed of soft and pliable materials; it will be squishy, a bit damp, and contain several holes suitable for pail installation when the ward comes of age. Wire lusus will be a barbed wire-frame construction, with a nutrition bile globule in the center and a gun. These lusii will provide protection, comfort, nutrition, and emotional intimacy to their wards. I believe you would be a more well-adjusted and likable individual had your rearing been similar to my proposal. #nsfw
i oughta givve credit wwhere its due wwitch your grotesque oedipal analogies strike me in that sticky sensitivve spot feww wwords can reach but my carnic philosophy impedes me from approachin the acme you speak a because i hate lusii their vvarious textures disgust me the small ones make me especially uncomfortable but id be remiss to tell you to do awway wwith the wwhole thin an start from scratch this is a fine idea but i havve a proposition that wwill turn fine into great you can be the cloth lusus complete wwith the pailin mechanism an ill be me wwhat say you an experiment to test your hypothesis
As you're surely aware, any good science experiment requires a control group. I'll present you a challenge. Create a prototype wire lusus, then have relations with it. Only then can we move on to any sort of cloth lusus discussion.
do i gotta
nevver met a girl wwith tats wwho wwasnt an annoyin feminist wwith small spheres
They all possess the average poser chick mentality, thinkin' they can do things like "vote" and "become president", I'm telling you. It's ridiculous, the sheer amount of straight-up bafoonery put on display by these tatted up broads. Don't you know? Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids, and silly women, ink is for dudes.
fuck that hopbeast in particular i once tried one of your ovverly processed humie grain treats an found myself toilet bound for the next three hours at the imperial pickleball shindig im gonna havve to disagree wwith you there mate im partial to a tabula rasa howw on alternia am i supposed to see a guys battled honed striations if hes covvered in trashy scrawwl
I, personally, wouldn't go around advertising your bathroom troubles to every guy you have passin' interactions with on the web, but, like. Okay. Cool. I can tell that you really wear your heart on your sleeve, which I am kindly advising you to tuck away¹. Anyway. Ow. The stray bullet that just nailed me is crazy. Don't mind me while I limp away, dogg, it's just a flesh wound. Don't mind the trail of blood and ink, oozing from my scathed bicep where a delectable little morsel of a tat lies. It's okay. My pained whimpers are unrelated. ¹[Relevant image]
troll sun tzu nevver said that i wwould knoww because im his long lost descendant or at least thats howw i choose to identify im troll italian but spiritually troll chinese because i too possess profound martial wwisdom in spades actually my spirit is that of an ancient senior centurion but wwhen one a the moons is the right shade a pink i get a little troll eastern wwith it im mindin the trail a blood an ink vvery much since youre gettin it all ovver my hypothetical carpet wwith a 600 plus thread count prong wwovven by trinese (troll chinese) wwigglers you filthy mammalian mutant
There's not enough words out there, in any dictionary of any language, to adequately summarize how I feel about this particular batch of wordvomit. The lukewarm spit up you've placed directly in front of me is just as unimpressive as it is culturally insensitive. My mind is reelin', truly, from this hard (alt) right turn you've taken this conversation. Anyway. As a courtesy, let me at least try and summarize how I feel. I'm scraping the bottom of the lexicon barrel, but something tells me you'll be alright with it: Man. Come on. TLDR; You can't say that, troll white baby.
i just did though take your sensitivve mudflaps back to grumblr i am sorry about the spit howwevver its these damn fang orientin cables