♦ pitied by @caligulaAscendit
For a gutterblooded moron, perhaps. But for a man of your age, and your status it is pathetic to vwatch your collect little plastic figurines and images of fictional vwar machines. You havwe the funds for the real deal, Eridan. Start the collection if a real man.
The collectibles. Eridan do you hear the wvords you are saying, boy? Are you 3 svweeps old?
...
You need permission?
dog this is so sad. what do you mean you don't eat double fried corndogs. literally the foundation a bartering free time with my bro hinges on me buyin as much dinner as he wants wherever he wants. the trash food is sacred it's what brings us together.
untrue my brother eats worse than i do an can keep goin idk how he packs it all away his metabolisms crazy
--- |I have a constant stomach ache because the food isn't good and I'm hungry but I don't count as superior| _____
yEaH I KnOw (O: jUsT LiKe cAlLiN Ya uGlY. aLsO ThInK We sHoUlD BrEaK Up fRoM ThIs fAkE KiS ShIt. WaS LiKe fUn bUt nOt rEaLlY. m oVeR ThE QuAd sHiT, kK LaId mY EgG. gOt bEtTeR JuSt tO WoRrY BoUt.
ʚ( D♡n't-- D♡n't Call Me That. But-- Sure, I Guess <3 )ɞ
mEaNt lIkE BeInG NaTuRaLlY AtTrAcTiVe. YoU AiN'T ExTrEmElY EaSy tO LoOk aT BrO.
ʚ( I Was Hatched With It.... But-- Whatever. I'll Wipe ♡ff My Little Hearts And Lipstick If I Have T♡ </3 )ɞ
let's see the research then -3-
.png)
[LMAO]
pReTtY GaY BuT LiKe wHaT'S YoUr eXcUsE BrO?
[ARE YOU $URE ABOUT THAT?]
(one look at a pair of a chicks rumblespheres and its over for you)
Y0ull c0me crawling back
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚『Hear Ye, Hear Ye!』-ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ H⭑nestly, ⚕ 𝑨m S⭑rt ☆f Hem⭑⚕st, 𝑨nd ⚕ D⭑ Enj⭑y Gen⭑c⚕de...⚕ Just D⚕sl⚕ke Publ⚕cly Express⚕ng ⚕t Bec𝒶use Pe⭑ple Tend T⭑ Judge Me 𝑨 L⭑t F⭑r ⚕t!
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚『Hear Ye, Hear Ye!』-ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Must Y⭑u D𝒶m𝒶ge My Reput𝒶t⚕⭑n L⚕ke Th⚕s?
@genocidalDictator GIRL LOOK I FOUND UR MAN
besides bein treated like a dog and a disgrace by my mom. eating dog food. being leashed. never meetin my other mom aka rose. then bein given away by my mom for jane just to have worst treatment. then bein drafted away. i wonder. #vent i fuckin guess.
i dont have the slight patience to deal with this now.
:33 < nope mewr not a purrgin, mewr going to hell
dude.
Is that...? It sure is. @caligulaAscendit @timaeusTestified#0414 @centaursTurmoil. #Fincel vs. #TheWhiteMonster. You'll never guess how this match ends. See more unscripted content like the #BoysNight #LiveStream on #PlushRump. Subscribers only.
This is An informAtiVe post About your person.
NO. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR NICKNAME PRIVILEGES. TO THINK. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT. ABOUT SMALL GLOBES. BEING REFINED AND NOBLE. AND PATHETIC. FEEBLE LITTLE STUB BULGES. SIGNALING DIGNITY AND MENTAL FORTITUDE. ONLY FOR YOU TO GO CHASING BIG ASSED BITCHES. AND FAT GLOBED MEGIDOS. EVERYWHERE I LOOK. AND YOU PERMITTED THEM INTO BOYS NIGHT. YOU HAVE SHATTERED MY PUSHER. AND I FORSAKE YOU.
ALWAYS A FUCK-UGLY DYEDHAIR METROSEXUAL AT THE SCENE OF A CRIME!!!!
#erichuds
Your opiiniion doessnt maatter Hussh liittle chudliing
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... ... ... ... 0f c0urze. [END MESSAGE]
( So sad............................................................................................... )<
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i z0rt 0f can and i kind 0f want tt0 draw it. but i d0 n0t want tt0 render tthat image in my tthinkpan. [END MESSAGE]
Co+o+l, yo+u ruined it. No+w I'm a lo+t a lo+t unco+mfo+rtable. This co+nversatio+n is o+ver.
DONT BR1NG YOUR WW31GHT F3T1SH 1NTO TH1S M4N K33P 1T CL4SSY
shut the fuck up man.
No+, no+, yo+u said it yo+urself. I am clearly no+t a REAL wo+man. My butto+cks will have to+ remain wo+efully unfro+sted fo+r the remainder o+f my sad, pitiful, cakeless existence.
Wo+w, yo+u go+t me. Yep. I've been mo+ved to+ tears at the kno+wledge that I'll never be able to+ smash cakes with my butt as well as Meenah can. Bo+o+ ho+o+ ho+o+.
cool it man, i still hawve a shot vwith this one and her wvife.
are those real trolls being squished?
alright. wvriska vwon. sorry damz. i wvas rooting for you, i really wvas. novw. her imperious condescension vwersus rose lalonde. iwve got something real special for you all. took some bartering, some vwheeling and dealing, thats vwhy it took me a sec to get back to this. lemme start wvith the rose propaganda. beautiful blonde, knowvs howv to banter, perfect bod, perfect face, can do some spooky eldritch stuff if thats vwhat youre into. shes incredible. i dont wvanna undersell her here. but... i got a vwintage from my man @caligulaascendit. this is *art*. nowv, to share the scan, he said he vwanted to do the propaganda for her, so here you go. #nsfwv. #nsfc too, but not the c youre thinking of. "its ya boy eridan ampora here vwith a guest rewvievw on alternias biggest caked up baddie our leadin broad in the beam for #cronusbabeoff hovwre all likin my vwintage hic edition penthouse by the wvay pretty groowvy huh cost me a pretty caegar but it wvas totally wvorth it an yknowv its the real deal too cause its got her signature shade a coral pink semi gloss #2 stamped across the covwer wvhen im feelin advwenturous i take my condy penthivwe out a her plastic slip an ewver so gently stroke her lipstick mark vwith a quivwerin finger wvith my other flipper placed firmly against my crotch anyvway im afraid the competition has been crushed by the empresss unholy cake grinder the rest a you booty impaired ladies can go hivwe novw" yeah. yowvza. #cwv-cakesitting. <3 or <> for condy. <3< or c3< for rosie.
࣪⊹₊˚{ ....yeahhhh that IS kind of a real megalodon mood killer huh }.3.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ }<n<{ whatever ill just come back later }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ + also -24 hicapoints because i agreed with you }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ i dont know if youve ever considered this but have you like. tried culling them first? }>_>{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ likeeee.... thats sort of the first step to curating your space you know }<_<{ culling dissenters }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ #tryit -12 HICAPOINTS }˚₊⊹ ࣪
i second vwhat casper said. seriously. at this point maybe if you truely vwant allat. make ya owvn eridan-only platform or vwhatevwer
and i thought the "curate your owvn space" button vwas the block button
i genuinely think you get off to scaring the hoes.
taking n⚣tes.
D--->Highb100ds...drool. #nsfw #suggestive
Y34H 1T 1S PROB4BLY TH31R F4ULT YOU SHOULD K33P TRY1NG W1TH TH3M ON3 OF TH3M 1S GONN4 W4NT YOU SOOO B4D 1 C4N SM3LL 1T COM1NG
how many violet boys are there at the bowling alley WITHOUT cloaks??? :P
wvhat do you mean giantess if that you stood up youd be the same height if not taller.
Is this because 0f that thing fr0m earlier
that is *step fucking one* of us changing hotshot.
N0 0nes been up there in s0 l0ng v-v
if you know what sexual predation is then you know you're talking about yourself congrats on self awareness
tell that to the artwork bub #nsfw #egglaying https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9d3da0047e4d.png
im losing blood flovw to my evwerything.
#brocode you dont evwen hawve quads so it couldnt happen anyvway.
> 3NT3R 3R1D4N COMM3NT R3PLY > H3 N33DS TH3 L4ST WORD > H1S L4ST WORD 1S TH3 S4M3 1NSULT YOU JUST US3D ON H1M C4LL1NG H1M ON3 NOT3 > M4NY SUCH C4S3S
> 3NT3R 3R1D4N COMM3NTS > 1NSULT H1S G33D C4P3 > H3 R3PL13S BY C4LL1NG YOU POOR B3C4US3 H3 H4S NOTH1NG B3S1D3S W34LTH > M4NY SUCH C4S3S
#INCEZTBAIT ????
Hhh daddy
🎣 Got his ass.
If I started posting crazy Eridan-esque bait, would you guys still love me? Would you forgive me?
Eridans need t0 st0p p0sting ragebait and start p0rting h0rnybait
ʚ( Y♡u're Kind ♡f, Like... Um. N♡t Nice. )ɞ
ʚ( Y♡u've Achieved S♡mefin And That's Making Me Hate A P♡st... )ɞ
Show Me An Eridan I Don't Have " Beef " With, And You Will Have Shown Me An Impossibility.
PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. WHEN YOU DO THIS. PLEASE FILM IT. FOR THE REST OF US.
S0 y0ure int0 having y0ur ass ate? Interesting. Writing this d0wn
your clothes clearly don't fit, can't afford a tailor ??
i still dont get the latex mummy look but badass pic bro.
WHEN YOU PEEL YOURSELF OUT OF THAT SECOND SKIN. CAN YOU MAKE SURE TO DO IT IN FRONT OF COMPUTERKUN. @TECHNICALLYTIMAEUS. OUR GOOD CLOSE MUTUAL FRIEND COMPUTERKUN.
FUGLY BITCH LOLOLOL
literally the only thing the power rangers did was get the de\/il may cry cast together pre that \/ideo game isn't the red one anti \/ax now
my red flag is the slamming my nub against surfaces repeatedly and the rotting corpses in my yard think again asshole
you cannot seriously be \/auging me right now
nO,
ALR ALR BET
it's cool man this wasn't me flyin off the handle this is just me talking. BUT. however. iiiiiii am gonna be the bigger saturn here an say take it easy kiddo.
ok wait lemme amend that there's a lot wrong with bpd but like not like that.
S)(UT T)(-E )(-ELL UP!!!!!!!
girls girls youre both pretty #vwagueposting
Girl what the fuck are y0u talking ab0ut
Pretty selfis)( and not very supportive of ot)(er girls to steal someone's love interest not once, but TWIC-E!
Are b0th leviathan and unchained getting bl0cked by baddies t0day
yuck youd nevver catch me doin somethin so grossly uncouth hahah
sorry eridan youre alone on tjis one
You knoww that just makes this sadder, right?
I d0nt kn0w ab0ut that
YKNO⌁ THERE ARE ⌁ORKING GIRLS OUT THERE TO SOL⌁E THIS PROBLEM FOR YOU, RIGHT? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
i know people with a lot of these traits who can pull entirely by not sucking shit.
This is... really sad, you knoww that right?
this is a haughty little gab im so flippin OVVER THE MOON that you guys are brobonding ovver gutterblood harlots lets bury the metaphorical hatchet and put this wwar on hold wwhile my gerblins decipher your coords
wh♤tever my superior orders, /n♤tur♤lly./
if ONLY some w♤r h♤rdened prince w♤s willing to buy more feetpics from hornhub...
sTiLl iN ThE LiKe bUsInEsS FoR SkYhOrSeDaD. gOt cRaZy cAeGeRs tO BuRn bUt iT HaS To bE @cAlIgUlAaScEnDiT ReAl fUcKiNg dAd. I NeEd tHaT MoThErFuCkEr tO ReMeMbEr hE WaS SoLd bY HiS PrInCe (O:
i got my invwite to #boysnight too, obwviously. mine wvas a lil mock-up @caligulaascendit made based on an idea i had, i thought a karate chop type thing might be more badass than regular flexing, but i think the bicep wvorked out in the end. check it though, this rules, right? #nsfvw
oh sh*t thats where my 1nv1te went, haha... k1nda messed up, but 1 th1nk 1 got the g1st };) #boysn1ght
I Almost Blissfully Forgot That This Was The Horrible, Bad Taste In Trolls Site.
I Wish On Every Shooting Star I See That No One Ever Touches You Intimately. #serene #suggestive #nsfc
wHaT? mOtHeRfUcKeR HoW DiD YoU CoNnEcT ThOsE TwO FuCkIn dOtS? nO He wAs sWoOpIn iN PrOtEcTiN HeR AnNoYiNg aSs hOnOr oR SoMe sHiT. wAs aNnOyInG, cAn't a mOtHeRfUcKeR EnJoY HiS FaKe aSs kIs iN PeAcE?
fInAlLy hE BlOcKeD Me, NoW I DoN'T GoTtA SeE A MoThErFuCkEr cOmInG To eRi's rEsCuE LiKe tHaT MoThErFuCkEr nEeDs iT. SaId i lOsT My cRoNuS PrIvIlEgEs. MoThErFuCkEr iT WaS A CuRsE
/ᐠ • ˕ •マ ?? < ARMLESS??? #IFTHATSYOURTHINGIGUESS #WHON33DSPRONGSWHENYOUHAVESTRUTPODS #SUGGESTIVE
@handMaid Yet another ascends past my humblespheres.
oOf tHaT FuCkIn sUcKs mAn ... cOuLdN'T HaVe bEeN My g.o.a.t (O:
Hey he d0esnt mean me in par5
broe if fef is tryin it imma krill mahshellf
lEvIaThAn? BuT YeAh dAmN BrO SoRrY I CoUlDn't gIvE Ya tHe lIkE AtTeNtIoN YoU WeRe wAnTiNg wAs bUsY BeAtInG My fAcE To tHe gOdS. sTiLl kInDa cUtE YeR PiTcH FlIrTiNg bAcK (o:
just checking pal
lIkE ... WoW, mOsT ReLaTaBlE ThInG YoU'Ve sAiD Fr mAn. MoThErFuCkErS AlWaYs uP In fUcKiN ArMs bOuT KiLlIn bEiN WrOnG N ShIt. KiNdA WeIrD To bE AgReEiN WiTh yOu fEr oNcE.
so wvhen you say that you mean the literal lusus, right?
May your aim be true.
I have a selection of heels you can choose to have your sea slug be crushed under. Again. No touching.
Thats 0rphaner chinscab t0 y0u
You're welcome. Religion is very much a touchy subject. I find it interesting how you reject these poles for their design choices by Asherath followers. Usually long vertical shapes often are interpreted as phallic. Like your harpoon gun.
D --> Thank you, I am quite proud of my physique D --> Perhaps I should have lifted the skirt higher to show off my quads, I will remember this for my ne%t post D --> If you w001d still be interested I can assist you in the weight block D --> Are bumps some form of e%ercise I am not familiar with
࣪⊹₊˚{ i cant even pretend to BEGIN to even with you right now.... im so.... youre SOOOO.... UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! I LITERALLY FOURKING CANNOT }TᯅT{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ HI. HEYYYY. HI. HI THEREEEE }^o^{/ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ DO WE THINK THIS BEHAVIOR IS CONDUCIVE TO SAVING US FROM THE DRONES? FROM LIKE.... EMPTY QUADRANTS???? LETS JUST BE REEL FOR A SECOND }*7*{ #itsnot #reflections }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!! }*ᗣ*{/ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
hawving sex vwith real life non-corpse vwomen vwho wvant to hawve sex wvith me #nsfvw
strutpods just dont do it for me man i think theyre kinda gross
im #notgay and you knowv it
trying my best here to respect the effort youre putting in, and to be flattered by you name dropping me. all the input i can hawve on the matter is iwve nevwer been hanging out wvith a broad, then vwe start getting frisky, and i take her to my block, and then i go, wvait, stop evwerything! go put on some shoes. like, i get the appeal, i do, a gal stumbling around in some high heels she aint comfortable in is glorious, but... i dunno, i wvant people to take their shoes off vwhen they come inside to hang. #suggestiwve
࣪⊹₊˚{ did you seriously just type out your smirk? }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ or like. did you just type ""smirk"" at me like youre actually doing it when youre just staring at your husk going }*n*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
D --> That may be true D --> It does sound... Interesting
D --> E%cellent points made, I had never given women's footwear much thought until now D --> Enlightening
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh. thats not surprising at all actually }._.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ + full offense but i bet you left as soon as female presenting grubscars got the fourk.... #poser }˚₊⊹ ࣪
Not a post I was eXpecting to read today. - MC Oleana
࣪⊹₊˚{ who taught you that word.... }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ TELL. ME. }*_*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ HOWWWW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DORSAYS! LIKE! YOU SHOULD *NOOOOT* KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS }*O*{ }*O*{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪
#tAVROShOUR lET ME HEAR YOU, sPEAK, oTHER tAVRII,
D0 y0u wanna sit 0n a cake in a bikini at a highbl00ds guys 0nly party? #nsfw
I am g0ing t0 kill myself #suicide
palm husk buddy im on a the real shit copyin an pastin my specs from the last dipshit wwho asked about it the grubslayer 9000: imperial-grade alternian gaming husktop chassis: obsidian-black armored clamshell husktop wwith purpleblood-compatible reinforced hinges, acid-resistant shell coating, and decorativve blood-caste rgb that automatically defaults to the user’s hemospectrum rank. lowwblood users may experience reduced lighting privvileges. processor: 123.6-core imperial grubcore i9-θresh runs hot enough to cauterize wwounds. includes “cull boost” mode, wwhich ovverclocks the cpu wwhenevver the user screams. graphics card: nvvidia geforce gtx 4137 ti “condesce edition” 48 gb vvram. optimized for rendering 8k gore, simulated imperial propaganda, and ultra-realistic fiduspawwn scale physics. memory: 128.1 gb "smooth as sopor-slime" ddr6 ram technically unstable, but it glowws beautifully. may wwhisper wwhile idle. storage: 4 tb ssd + 16 tb bone archivve drivve ssd for games and applications. bone archivve drivve for screenshots, incriminating chatlogs, flarp replays, and legally dubious lusus taxidermy reference images. display: 17.3-inch 40k oled “bloodvvision” panel refresh rate: 360 hz. color mode includes: rust, gold, teal, vviolet, fuchsia, and “wwhatevver the empress says color is.” keyboard: mechanical clawwproof keyboard wwith caste-specific keycaps. keys include: strife, murder, panic, report lowwblood, and a dedicated honk macro. mouse/trackpad: trackpad is technically alivve. responds to touch, fear, and mild bribery. cooling: triple-fan thermal system wwith miniature drone grubs that crawwl through the vvents and removve dust, crumbs, and wweak moral convvictions. audio: dual subwwoofers tuned for explosions, troll screams, clowwn sermons, and bass-boosted seadwweller propaganda. operating system: alterniaos 12: bloodletting build features mandatory survveillance, zero privvacy settings, and a built-in app that reports treasonous mod usage directly to local authorities. connectivvity: wwi-fi 9 bluetooth imperial meshnet trollian auto-sync one forbidden earth usb-c port labeled do not insert human technology battery: 9-hour battery life during normal use. 17 minutes if running minecraft wwith shaders, flarp ultimate carnage, or the sims wwith 400 murder mods. included softwware: trollian pro flarp battlemap studio fiduspawwn arena ultra imperial tax evvasion simulator sopor slime sleep tracker grubhub, but literally for grubs antivvirus that is just a small angry tealblood legislacerator benchmarks: runs doom at 13,000 fps. runs alternian cyberpunk at 27 fps, because it is still horribly optimized. can host 400 minecraft mods before devveloping a psychic grudge. needs hourly ingestion a adderall #substance wwill explode if asked to run file explorer.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/269f811a4282.png povv blud is zoomed to the max just so he can see his face
listen here you gapgilled land fetishizer you aint nothin but a plague an you cant evven be bothered to use a respectable image for your profile picture so you look prefucked up like a premonition a howw your face is goin to be after i crush it in #vviolence https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/89ce2852e6ce.png
WHY WOULD YOU SIT ON A CAKE? #NSFW? #SUGGESTIVE? IS IT? SOMEONE TELL ME. ... NO, DON'T TELL ME. This should be criminalized. Posthaste.
IF ONLY RANKY WERE HERE. THE THINGS WE WOULD PUT YOU THROUGH. WOULD ONLY QUALIFY AS SEX. TO THE MOST DISCERNING PERVERTS.
i vwould hope its not gold
make sure to spay and neuter your cronus. wvere wvirile as marlon brando in his prime. #nsfwv #surgery #medical-malpractice
unhappy male lusus day to seahorsedad. fuck you for being my dark and tragic backstory (hot ladies, like 7s and up, feel free to enquire about my dark and tragic backstory). also uhh @affablecantor youre not my dad for sevweral reasons and i hate you but i guess. sometimes youre maybe almost cool.
That is not vwhat I look like.
Acceptable. Thank you Eridan. I hope you do realise the reason I hounded you, and only you is not vwithout reason.
Do not take that tone vwith me, boy. Enjoy your formality, it is expected of you. Followv your structure. I do not care vwhether you are challenged or not mentally, take it as you wvish. But to take this tone of disrespect vwith me casts a sorrowv stain on your reputation and mine. You are a shameful blemish in my record.
Ok. Do let me know who wins THAT duel. No use putting money on it. I would hate to see the house edge your old man has on you.
You heard me, boy.
I should'vwe had you tested vwhen the chance vwas givwen.
Cronus? He is an alternatiwve vwersion of myself, is he not? I do not think he wvould he considered my son.
I wvas half expecting some form of appreciation in regards to the human concept of father's day from my descendant, my son as he wvould be referred to wvhere I his human father. But I should knovw better than to get my hopes up in regards to you, nowv isn't that right, @caligulaAscendit ? #fathersday #malelususappreciationday
Happy Father's Day! :B I am fortunate to have been raised by a man of such esteem that it occasionally appears he was downright MADE to be a dad! (Though I suspect this must be mere coincidence, and a symptom of how effortlessly he has taken on the mantle of responsibility. Hmmmm.) It warms my heart to recount the numerous ways in which I witnessed my father try to curry my favor by way of relatability, all the while relegating his own true cornball passions to the back burner. His attempts to reach my stubborn teenage ego burst forth from his poor gentle heart, not at all unlike the spring-snakes at the bottom of a tube of fake peanut brittle. #girldad As an aspirational future parent myself, I can only hope to achieve a fraction of this success. If I'm half as good a mom as he was a dad, my own children will be at least half as great as their mother. :B And really, at a certain point we must set a reasonable threshold of expectation. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Happy Father's Day, Dad. You are a pillar of masculinity and you starch a button-down like you were born in the back of a dry cleaner. In my circle, it is a doggone novelty to even have a parent simultaneously living and respectable enough to maintain regular contact. That being said, I've added a new rotation to your security detail. Don't forget to check in with my office scheduler for your next routine healing. @timaeusTestified#0414 Can you coordinate his next appointment. He's looking a little pruned, lately. Love you, Dad!
lowvbloods really are cute. still not totally sure on wvhether shes a bronze or a rust though?
no one talk to me for like. a wvipe. #nsfvw
No. I do not. I am just fis)(appointed and mildly )(orrified. 38(
W)(AT.
W)(at?
you bitch
wwhatevver, havve fun wwith wwhatevver shit ya got against yerself. couldnt be me.
i ♤m willing to be the p♤ri♤h here th♤t s♤ys the truth: it is not the erid♤n popul♤tion th♤t needs culling. he is, gener♤lly, the funniest of th♤t c♤sten♤me. i do h♤ve my f♤vorites, though. ♤ secret tier list, if you will.
um! no???
HUH??????
Speak to me again and I'll have you crucified like they did in our whack human religions until you starve to death.
₍^. .^₎⟆ Explode꠹
Am I On Your Level Now Eridan Is This How It Feels Oh Gog
Might start l00king int0 it. Wh0 else is g0ing t0 match y0ur freak?
Sad. Maybe y0u sh0uld expl0re each 0thers b0dies instead
~⠀ ~#nsfw~
♤t times i consider doing this to kupomom, but she inevit♤bly does something to m♤ke me b♤ck down from my vengeful st♤nce.
D0nt enable him
COULD YOU SETTLE FOR A GUTTERBLOOD.
this seems unnecessarily mean to pixies to be honest
dude youre still on about this? chill, youre being wveird
you GOTTA stop call1ng me that, man...
D --> Forgive me, I did not e%pect an appropriate honorific to have this affect on you, Eridan D --> I will be more careful in the future
D --> This was not my intention, forgive me, highb100d D --> I will take my leave, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable
So proud of you for taking steps to better yourself! <3
?yeah im a carpet muncher what about iT #suggestivE
fuckkkkkk lowkƐy can i gƐt somƐ of that toƐ jam park that shit ovƐr at my hivƐ rn capt’n
This was not on my 2026 bingo card.
THE ROYAL DOGS ON THE TL FOR FREEEEEEEM
his t♤lons ♤re well trimmed.
sHUT UP AND, dO NOT TALK TO ME,
}:? what logo?
sO COOL! i STILL WISH, mINE EVER CAME IN,,,
@cal1gulaAscend1t suck 1t 💪
< YOU GOT ME MIXED UP MOTHERFUCKER. OTHER KURLOZES MIGHT, BUT I FIND THEM TO BE FUNNY MOTHERFUCKERS. KILLED MINE TOO; HE'S FINE NOW, OF COURSE, BUT HE WAS FUNNY UNTIL HE WASN'T. :o) >
)(ttps://i.ytimg.com/vi/UxYkB3B-E5)(-E/maxresdefault.jpg
D --> My offer will remain open in case you change your mind
D --> It is pleasing to see you are putting in the effort to build STRENGTH, if you are ever in need of a spotter, or a "gym buddy" I w001d be eager to fill that role
O)(, Dear N-EPTUN-E.
okay so vwhy not say dual? that vwords got like badass historical precedent and stuff, a rumpus sounds like a naked pillovw fight
ahem. nuh uh.
(=^･⩊･^=) < I'M A CHUD! I'M A CHUD! I'M A FAT LIL' CHUD!
I w9uld first like t9 gently c9rrect the structure 9f this sentence. T9 call the Mad9nna-Wh*re C9mplex (hencef9rth referred t9 as the MWC s9 as t9 n9t sully the discussi9n with unsav9ry language) a sliding scale, 9ne w9uld assume, with9ut any additi9nal c9ntext, that the scale g9es fr9m left (Mad9nna) t9 right (Wh*re). S9 if y9u are g9ing t9 c9mpare Karkat and I t9 the MWC, y9u sh9uld list 9ur names fr9m left t9 right as well. 9therwise, s9me9ne with a l9t less familiarity with us might inadvertently assume that Karkat is the Mad9nna and that I am the 9ther 9ne, which is n9t the s9rt 9f impressi9n 9f me that y9u sh9uld leave pe9ple with, as it is rather rude t9 je9pardize s9me9ne else's reputati9n in this way. I will assume in g99d faith that this was an h9nest mistake. Next, let us unpack y9ur use 9f the MWC as a c9ncept. F9r any9ne reading this wh9 d9es n9t already kn9w, the MWC is a psych9l9gical phen9men9n that p9sits that a man cann9t earnestly l9ve a w9man that he feels sexual desire f9r, and vice versa. In his su6c9nsci9us, he thinks 9f w9men as either Mad9nnas (that is, virginal and chaste) 9r Wh*res (wh*res), and it is imp9ssi6le f9r any w9man t9 6e 69th. With that c9ntext in mind, it sh9uld 6e 96vi9us that there is a glaring issue with y9ur asserti9n. 6arring s9me very rare timelines, Karkat and I are *n9t* w9men, and theref9re exempt fr9m this s9rt 9f framew9rk under which female-f9cused male sexuality is viewed. N9w, if y9u indeed mean t9 relate the MWC t9 a female Karkat and a female Kankri, y9u sh9uld clarify that in y9ur 9riginal chitt. Until then, it s9unds as if y9u are implying gyn9centric principles t9 tw9 pe9ple t9 wh9m they d9 n9t apply. This s9rt 9f #GenderMisla6eling can 6e very upsetting t9 th9se 9f us wh9 are indeed secure in 9ur gender identities as men. H9pe this helps. #WW9rd #ThatIsT9Say #TheW9rdThatStartsWithW #N9tAReflecti9n9fY9urQuirk
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT IF I WERE HYPOTHETICALLY ON THE CLOCK AT FUCKWITS INCORPORATED AND YOU HAD JUST RECENTLY REWATCHED ALTERNIAN PSYCHO WITHIN A WIPE, AND I BROUGHT A STACK OF REPORTS IN A THICK MANILLA ENVELOPE AND SLAMMED THEM ON YOUR WORKPLANK WITH BALEFUL WORKPLACE MALFEASANCE, YOU WOULD BE NORMAL ABOUT IT IF I THEN WALKED BACK OUT TO, SURPRISE, DO MORE OF MY FUCKING JOB?
ONE, BECAUSE I *JUST* SAID I'D RATHER SAW MY PRONGSTUBS OFF ONE BY ONE, HOLDING THE BLADE WITH MY TEETH WHEN I GET TO THE REMAINING PRONG, THAN PUT COCAINE ANYWHERE NEAR MY BUBBLING, TORMENTED PHYSIOLOGY AGAIN. AND TWO, BECAUSE MY CURRENT WORK CONTRACT IS KIND OF PHYSICALLY INESCAPABLE. SO THERE'S THAT. REASON TWO POINT FIVE. I DON'T TRUST YOU TO PUT THE WORD "SECRETARY" ANYWHERE NEAR ME AND COME OUT THE OTHER END OF THAT WITH AN IOTA OF "NORMAL" ATTACHED TO YOU.
*HARD* FUCKING PASS.
just me and the vworsties <3<
IF IT WERE AN IMPERIAL DRONE WITH SERRATED TALONS THAT HAD YOU BY THE GULLET RIGHT NOW, I WOULD SIT BACK IN A LAWN CHAIR WITH A BUCKET OF RUPTURE KERNELS AND WATCH. COME THE FUCK ON, MAN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WORK'S GOT ME BY THE GLOBES, MYSELF. NOT EVEN GOING TO COMMENT ON WHY ALL THE CLOCKS I LOOK AT IN THE FELT MANOR *STILL* SAY IT'S 6/12. IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER BULLET-RIDDLED BRICK OF COCAINE IN MY LIFE, IT'LL BE TOO SOON.
kEeP ThAt fUcKiNg eNeRgY WhEn wE MeEt iN PeRsOn, YeAh? DoN'T WaNt tHiS To bE ToO EaSy (O:
IN-FUCKING-CREDIBLE. YOU SOMEHOW INVENTED A NEW TROLL FREUDIAN PSYCHOSEXUAL CONCEPT SO VILE THAT I WISH *YOU* WOULD SNORT A MOUNTAIN OF COCAINE UNTIL YOUR FUCKING PUSHER EXPLODED. I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL. RECHITTING SOLELY TO DOCUMENT THE NUMBER OF UNFORGIVABLE SLIGHTS YOU'VE DEALT TO ME AND MY ENTIRE FUCKING BLOODLINE. THIS IS STRIKE ONE.
Expected and unsurprising.
complex? i find it pretty simple myself
yeah man i aint trying to knock your clock iwve been there before
OOh nOO D:
yeah i hate wwhen those premonitions a doom start comin on
are you stupid? he said "erp site" and i asked "hey vwhats that mean?" do you hawve some wviggler ass retention, you can only remember one chit at a time? probably already forgot vwhat vwere talking about old man
My vwviewvs on you are vwvery lowv already, Eridan.
Fine. I can forgivwve it this one.
I wvas addressing the clowvn. Forgivwve me for trying to come to your defence you ungrateful brat.
Exactly. You are my blood. It wvould be a tragic wvaste to see my bloodline snuffed out because of one sad man that cannot copulate wvith another and decides instead to paint the ceiling vwviolet. #suggestivwve #vwviolent
wwould this damn app stop assumin I'm lookin for hot male goldbloods in my area
I am so )(appy you know my intentions are good. 38,) T)(ank you for believing in my )(eart and knowing my soul!!!
promise you'll all still love me after it's over
==> Actually I think I kind of like the way you speak now that I've read a few CHITTS. It's like if someone mixed up 6 sweep old you with 6 sweep old Karkat, and then left the wriggler in the library to germinate.
yOu sAy a lOt oF NoThIn, AnD NoThIn aIn't fUnNy, AnD I HaTe uNfUnNy mOtHeRfUcKeRs. So pRoBaBlY FoR ThE BeSt i aIn't lIsTeNeD To yOu a dAmN BiT.
It's actually a little insensitive t9 lecture a tr9ll a69ut their typing quirk. It's a part 9f 9ur culture.
how to lockpick handcuffs one side only vwithout the other guy seein howv to do it
wwretched abominable fuckin minion shaped aberration off to the fetid pits a hyper-tartarus wwith you and trouble us lotus hearted folk a the civvilized sciences and holy hopemajyyks nevvermore #failwwizard #gandalfclears
˚.⋆﹏𓊝﹏ Well, um... 'll be rootin' for you to get a little more optimistic...!! ⚓︎
cosm1cally deserved? or uh, y1kes that that happened? 1dk, wh1chever appl1es
|f | Assk n|cely w|ll u tll me or Am | gonnA get ylld At
yA KnOw i wAs aBoUt tO AsK WhAt tHe fUcK I DiD To yOu tHeN I ReMeMbErEd tHe dReAm tOrTuRe aNd oThEr sHiT. cArRy oN BrOtHa. (o:
Considering #RumbleNight never came to full fruition, there's no harm in posting one or two of the early promotional photos.
｢ai-chan is a real girl. (´；ω；`) megane-san takes her paledoll to cupe mainichi. (／_;)/｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: mainichi means everyday! (。･´д`･。) ahhh~ maybe eri-chan will feel better with a paledoll (*￣∇￣) or a plapdoll! ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ]
Y0u wear heels
Howv does this wvork. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/134e8073e023.png
i think something might b #up with ur hole bro
hey so im not tryin 2 be a rules lawyer but i just kinda dg how thisd even work since like fellatings when ur ON THAT THANG but a holes like......
࣪⊹₊˚{ i hate that i actually agree with you on something.... }._.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ like objectively this is just the correct take. are you like, okay? do we need to call someone }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ its giving ""sudden burst of antemortem clarity"" + i actually DONT like it }˚₊⊹ ࣪
T)(at is w)(at I am )(ere for!!! We all )(ave to nurture our friends true intentions and make sure t)(ey do not feel as)(amed of t)(em because of t)(e pressures Alternia )(as put on our men!
pheww thank goodness for you feferi
It is okay!! I saw a glimpse into w)(at )(e actually meant wit)( my empat)(ic abilities!!! )(e would TOTALLY )(elp t)(at )(amster!!!
˚.⋆﹏𓊝﹏ ?????? ⚓︎
hey that shit vworks i mean uhh nevwer heard of it
You have quite the elegant snout youre like a well heeled borzoi.
I'M SURE YOU CAN; YOU'RE A SEADWELLER. I'M NOT. HOWEVER, I DO CARE ABOUT PEOPLE I AM IN AN APPROXIMATE FRIENDSHIP WITH.
YOUR BODY WEIGHT CONCERNS ME GREATLY, BUT YOU LOOK DECENT ERIDAN. YOU SHOULD EAT MORE; I AM PRETTY SURE I WEIGH MORE THAN YOU, AND I AM WAY SHORTER.
Awww, yay!!!
cALIBORN, i WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, lIKE NO ONE EVER WAS, oR AT LEAST, eQUAL TO WHERE OTHERS ARE, yOU KNOW BECAUSE, i DESERVE THAT AND, i AM PRETTY COOL AND POWERFUL IN MY OWN R1GHT, aND FRANKLY i THINK THAT YOU SIR ARE, oVERRATED WHEN IT COMES TO THE POWERSCALERS, i MEAN, mE AND MY CAT, cOULD DEFINITELY BEAT UP, yOU AND YOUR CAT, aND YOUR CAT, tHOUGH, tO CATCH THEM IS YOUR REAL TEST, tHEM BEING, tHESE HANDS THOUGH, i THINK i AM ABOVE SUCH PETTY MEANS OF SHOWING YOU THAT, i L1TERALLY 1v1 THE B1G BAD EVIL GUY, oR AT LEAST THE KIDDIE VERSION THOUGH THAT SAID, tANKING A PUNCH FROM THE BIG YOU DOES WONDERS, fOR MY POWERSCALING, lIKE, mY LASS SCAMPER WOULD BLOW, yOUR LITTLE PEANUT MIND, sTRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR, pEANUT SHELL HEAD, mY MAD SKILLZ IN ALL THINGS, fIDUSPAWN AND pOKEMON AND GAMING, tO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE AND i THINK, pERHAPS YOU MAY FALL UNDER THAT TOO, jUST AS i HAVE TAMED YOUR LARGE GREEN SNAKE, tIME AND TIME AGAIN (PERHAPS tIME IS A STRONGER SUIT OF MINE, tHAN YOURS, jUST AS i COULD PULL OFF A SUIT, bETTER THAN YOU, aND EVEN COULD PULL OFF YOUR L1TTLE SUSPENDERS AND LOLLIPOP LOOK BETTER, i WAS HATCHED TO WEAR A PROPELLER HAT) i WILL TAME YOU, tO MY WILL, i WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND, sEARCHING FAR AND WIDE FOR MORE COOL BEASTIES AND TREASURE AND FRIENDS, tHEN USE THEM ALL TO TEACH cALIBORN TO UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT'S INSIDE, oF ME, cALIBORN BEING YOU, oBVIOUSLY, wHETHER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MY lITTLE cUP OR aNYTHING gOES, iT IS ALL, dEEP DEEP INSIDE ME, jUST ROARING TO GET OUT, i MEAN IF i HAD THOSE DUMB pAGE UNDIES THEY COULD NOT EVEN CONTA1N ALL THIS OVERFLOWING HOT AIR i CONSTANTLY SPEW, bREATH-WISE, wH1CH BLOWS YOU AROUND METAPHORICALLY AND MAKES YOU, mY B WORD, aS IT WERE, iT'S YOU AND ME BUCKO, i KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY TO TAKE YOU DOWN AND, hUMILIATE YOU, pUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY, oH, yOU'RE MY WORST FRIEND 1N A WORLD i MUST DEFEND, a PUSHER SO TRUE AS MINE, cAN NOT BE CORRUPTED BY YOU AND THE ALLURE OF YOUR WHITE MEN, aND GREEN MEN, aND RED LADIES, tHOUGH, i AM ACTUALLY PALS WITH SEVERAL OF THOSE, rED BLOODED WOMEN WHO ARE, qUITE NICE ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW THEM, sO MY COURAGE WILL PULL ME THROUGH THE THRONGS OF YOUR RABID SUPPORTERS, tO GET A PROPER MANO Y MANO GOING ON (yOU WOULD PROBABLY SAY, mANO Y WOMANO, tHEN BE LIKE, "WHY WOMAN, iS RIGHT," BUT IT MEANS PRONG, nOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER, yOU DUMMY), tHESE LANGUAGE SKILLS ARE JUST ONE EXAMPLE IN WHICH i SHOW THE WAY THAT, yOU TEACH ME AND i'LL TEACH YOU, yEAH, eVERY CHALLENGE ALONG THE WAY, wITH COURAGE, i WILL FACE, iT, aND THAT INCLUDES YOUR RAMPANT HALITOSIS, wHICH SMELLS VERY MUCH LIKE DAIRY, mOST OF THE TIME 1F i CAN BE HONEST, i UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE A GROWING BOY AND ALL, aND i AM A GROW1NG GIRL BUT, iT'S NOT EVEN MY VEGANISM THAT MAKES ME AVERSE, iT'S JUST, i WILL BATTLE EVERY DAY TO GET THROUGH, tHAT STENCH OF IT, l1KE OTHER PEOPLE CAN EAT AND DRINK, wHAT THEY WANT 1T 1S FOR MY OWN PERSONAL PREFERENCE, aND i THINK IT HELPS ME TO CLAIM MY RIGHTFUL PLACE, aS A FUTURE BEAST DOCTERROR OR, vETERINARIAN AS THEY ARE CALLED IN THE HUMAN PARLANCE WHICH i THINK IS, a PRETTY FUN WORD FOR IT, aCTUALLY, sO PLEASE, cOME W1TH ME, tHE TIME IS RIGHT FOR YOU TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH, i WILL HOLD YOU DOWN AND DO IT MYSELF, iF i HAVE TO LIKE, tHAT ONE ANIME SCENE WITH THE FR1ENDLY OLDER BROTHER WHO HELPS H1S SISTER WITH, hER DENTAL HYGIENE EXCEPT THE GENDER ROLES WILL BE REVERSED, iN THIS INSTANCE, i BET rANKMAID COULD EITHER SHOW YOU OR, hAS ALREADY SHOWN YOU THE SCENE i'M REFERR1NG TO, tHERE'S NO BETTER TEAM BETWEEN ME AND HER WHEN IT COMES TO, uNDERSTANDING SUCH TH1NGS, aCTUALLY i SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE SURE SHE HAS BEEN BRUSHING, tOO, i GUESS IF i TRIED TO REENACT THAT SCENE WITH HER, sHE WOULD PROBABLY ACCEPT 1T, sO MAYBE i WOULD TAKE TURNS WITH THE BOTH OF YOU, sCRUBBING YOUR DIRTY (LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY) MOUTHS CLEAN WITH, mY BRISTLING MOUTHBONE ROD OF JUSTICE, jUST SHOV1NG THAT IN AND OUT, bETWEEN THE BOTH OF YOU, uNTIL YOU ARE BOTH DROOLING MESSES BUT, i WOULD LET YOU SPIT AT LEAST, aRM IN ARM, wE'LL WIN THE FIGHT AGAINST, dENTAL PLAQUE, iT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO DO SO IN ANIMALS AND YOU ARE BASICALLY THAT, eXCEPT MUCH MUCH LOWER, yOU ARE BARELY EVEN FERAL, rEALLY SO, i AM SURE i COULD GET MY POWERS TO WORK ON YOU MAYBE, aND THEN MAKE YOU CLUCK LIKE A CLUCKBEAST OR BARK, lIKE A BARKBEAST OR MEOW, lIKE A MEOWBEAST OR MOO, lIKE A MOOBEAST, oR,,, wHATEVER SOUND A BAABEAST MAKES, iT IS ESCAPING MY PAN IN THE MOMENT BUT, kNOW THIS THAT IS, iT'S YOU AND ME WHO WILL BE AT THE ULTIMATE CLIMAX, aT THE END OF EVERYTHING, oNCE i'M THROUGH MY #tAVROSrEFRACTORYpERIOD AND HAVE RECOVERED AND, aM AT FULL STRENGTH ONCE AGAIN, i KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY, iT HAS TO BE AND FRANKLY, i THINK YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE OBSESSED, aS SHOULD ANYONE REALLY BECAUSE, i DESERVE THAT MUCH, i REALLY THINK i DO, i MEAN, yOU'RE MY WORST FRIEND IN A WORLD i MUST DEFEND, wHILE WE HAVE BONDED AND BARED OUR DEEPEST ASPECTS TO EACH OTHER, tHAT IS, oUR pOKEMON sHOWDOWN TEAM COMPS, i KNOW THAT WE ARE MATTER AND ANTIMATTER, yIN AND YANG, eARTH AND AIR, aCTUALLY WAIT EARTH AND AIR DON'T, cANCEL EACH OTHER OUT, aCTUALLY, mATTER AND ANTIMATTER DO, fOR SURE, aND kYUREM AND rESH1RAM WOULD,,, i GUESS THEY MAKE, tHE ORIGINAL DRAGON, bUT TO MY KNOWLEDGE, aCCORDING TO dOODLE gOD, aNYWAYS, eARTH AND AIR MAKE DUST WHICH, aS FAR AS i RECALL ISN'T EVEN THAT USEFUL IN CREATING FURTHER ELEMENTS, lIKE, i TH1NK EARTH AND WATER MAKE MUD, aND AIR AND FIRE CREATE,,, pLASMA, mAYBE, i KNOW THERE'S SOMETH1NG YOU COMBINE WITH MUD TO CREATE LIFE, wHICH CAN BE USED TO CREATE A HEART SO TRUE, tHAT PUMPS BLOOD THROUGH, aLL LIVING TH1NGS, oR AT LEAST THE ANIMALS, pLANTS DON'T REALLY HAVE HEARTS, mOST OF THEIR PUMPAGE IS DUE TO, cAP1LLARY ACTION, iF i AM RECALLING CORRECTLY WHICH, i'M PRETTY SURE i AM SINCE i LITERALLY, hAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE AND WHILE i WILL NOT SHAME YOU, fOR YOUR LACK OF HIGHER EDUCATION, aND NO, tHE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS DOES NOT COUNT, i SAW THAT YOUR DEGREE WAS SIGNED BY, sCRATCH AND THAT JUST REEKS OF NEPOTISM, i TH1NK THE BOARD OF THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS, nEEDS TO BE INVESTIGATED FOR THAT FLAGRANT DISPLAY, bUT i WILL SHAME YOU FOR BEING DUMB, iN THAT i WEAVE CIRCLES AROUND YOU, w1TH MY MACHINAT1ONS AND MANIPULATIONS, i'M WEAVING DOILIES OVER HERE AND TRAPPING YOU WITHIN A DOILY CIRCLE LIKE, a SALT CIRCLE OR A FAIRY RING, oR BOTH AND, yOU MAY THINK YOUR COURAGE WILL PULL YOU THROUGH BUT 1T WILL NOT, yOU WILL BE STUCK THERE, aLL AGOG, sNAKE TONGUE LOLLING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AS i AM, lOL-ING AT YOU, aND PERHAPS SOME LMAO-ING AND, dEFINITELY THROWING PEANUTS AT YOUR, pEANUT HEAD, wHICH YOU COULD MAYBE SHOVE IN THERE TO REPLACE YOUR PEANUT PAN, aND IT'D BE LIKE THAT SCENE IN sPONGEBOB, wHERE THEY THROW PEANUTS AT THE PINK ONE, yOU MAY TH1NK THAT YOU TEACH ME AND i'LL TEACH YOU BUT THIS OWNAGE, tHIS LESSON YOU WILL LEARN, wELL, i AM THE ONE AT THE FRONT OF THE SCHOOLFEEDBLOCK, rULER IN PRONG, bATTING IT DOWN ON THE DESK OF THIS SO-CALLED, "RULER" OF TIME, iF HE TRIES TO SPEAK UP OR START SOME NONSENSE, i'LL MAKE A REALLY LOUD SOUND, aND WHACK 1T ON YOUR HANDS, yOUR HANDS WILL BE JUST, rU1NED BY MY LENGTHSTICK, aND YOU'D BETTER SHOW IT RESPECT, bE REVERENT, yOU MUST CARE FOR MY LENGTHSTICK, iF YOU WISH TO BE MY RIVAL, mY RA1SIN D'ETER BECAUSE, yOU HARDLY KNOW 'ER, bUT IT'S YOU AND ME cALIBORN, bOTTOM OF THE 22ND, tHE PUSHER IS UP TO BAT, tHE WRANGLER IS ME, oBVIOUSLY, tHE SNOWBALL IS IN PLAY, i KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY TO WRAP THAT BABY UP IN THE STITCHER, tO SHOW YOU WHAT'S WHAT, tO BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME, aND MINE, yOU'RE MY WORST FRIEND, mY BEST ENEMY, pERHAPS MY GREATEST ADVERSARY, iN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEND FROM THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND, tHE WARRIOR'S BOND WHICH WE SHARE, tHE BOND THAT ONLY TWO pOKEMON MASTERS COULD, oNLY THOSE WHO COMMAND BEASTS BOTH WITHOUT AND WITHIN, tECHNOLOGICAL, bIOLOGICAL, tECHNOBIOLOGICAL, mETAPHYSICAL, pHYSICAL, mETACAL, mEDICAL, mINICAL-IBORN, iS WHAT i IN MY PUSHER SO TRUE, w1LL CALL YOU AS i GRIND YOU INTO THE DUST, tHAT YOU ARE CHEWING ON WHICH i HAVE LEFT, iN THE WAKE OF EITHER MY CHAIR OR, mY QUICK FEETSIES, oNCE i'VE RECOVERED ENOUGH, tO NO LONGER BE IN MY WHEELCHAIR, tHE DUST THAT YOU'LL BE CHOWING DOWN ON LIKE A FIVE-COURSE MEAL, eVERY NIGHT, uNTIL THE END OF TIME WHICH IS TO SAY, tHE END OF YOU BECAUSE, i AM COMITTED, tO SHOWING YOU WHAT'S WHAT, oUR COURAGE W1LL PULL US THROUGH PAST THE NAYSAYERS, wHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS #pRIDEmONTH, wHICH MEANS THAT i GET TO FEEL SOME PRIDE, bEFORE YOUR FALL, aND THEN WINTER, bECAUSE, i WILL WIN, tERMINALLY AND TERMINATE, yOUR BUTT, yOU TEACH ME HOW TO KICK YOUR ASS, aND i'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO GET, yOUR ASS SUBSEQUENTLY KICKED, eVEN HARDER THAN YOU COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED OF BECAUSE, i'M THE REALEST DREAMER AROUND, i DREAM AND NIGHTDREAM HARDER THAN ANYONE, aND GET LOST IN THOSE FANTASIES BUT THEN i MAKE THEM REAL, aND THOSE FANTASIES RIGHT NOW INVOLVE, mAKING YOU JEALOUS OF MY L1MITED PRINT HOLOGRAPHIC FOILS, iN MY COLLECTION, wHICH IS QUITE SUBSTANTIAL BECAUSE AS THE SONG GOES, pOKEMON, gOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL, bY WHICH IT MEANS, sPEND MONEY ON THE GAMES AND CARDS TO COMPLETE YOUR COLLECTION, bUT THAT SHORT AND QUICK TANGENT AS1DE, lIKE THIS POST, aND i SHALL BE THE b1ANCA, tO YOUR cHEREN, @CALIbORN, yOUR MOVE, pUNK, #NSFW #NSFWE #POWERSCALING #CATFIGHTS #CATCHTHESEHANDS #PEANUTS #SNAKEWRANGL1NG #LITTLEGERMANBOYCORE #LANGUAGELEARN1NG #MILKST1NK #CNC-TEETHBRUSHING #DENTALCARESERVICETOP #PETPLAY #DOODLEGOD #DIPLOMAMILL #DOILIES #SPONGEBOBRECTANGULARPRISMSTRUTPOLECOVERINGS #HOTFORTEACHER #ARENASTICKBALL #DUST #DREAMJOURNAL #SHAMEABOUTTHEJOURNALFACTORY #ITWASAREALTRAGEDY #CARDCOLLECTING #dUALrIVALsHIPPING #LIKEBAITING #PITCHBAITING #RANKBAIT
Take your time. Though, perhaps we should discuss this in a less public forum if you are genuine about the pursuit. I could, of course, do much to prove the existence of magic, but I won't. Much akin to why we do not simply go back and give Neanderthals firearms.
oH No, I UnDeRsTaNd yOu lIkE PeRfEcTlY ClEaR, i jUsT DoN'T ReAlLy fUcKiNg cArE? iT'S FuN PiSsIn yOu oFf lIkE ThIs (O: eAsY ToO hOnK (o: bUt lIkE ObJeCtIvElY, tHe mUg iS MuGgY
wHy aRe bOtH Of tHeSe gOt dAmN AmPoRa's oN My bUlGe. A MoThErFuCkEr jUsT TrYiNg tO ChIlL Fr. #YoUbOhTsUcK #nSfW
stop trying to slob his knob on my post, or at least tag it wvhen you do, fuckin hell man. hasnt anyone ewver told you that no means no? i dont knowv vwhat that actually means, but it feels relevwant somehowv. #nsfwv
sTiLl wAnNa fUcK HiM So dAmN BaD ThO BrO
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS. IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THERE ARE WORDS IN ANY SPOKEN OR WRITTEN LANGUAGE THAT COULD ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE WAY LOOKING AT THIS IMAGE MAKES ME FEEL. IT ONLY TOOK ONE RAKE OF MY GANDER BULBS OVER THIS SHAMELESS DISPLAY FOR ME TO START CLENCHING MY JAW WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO MAKE MY FUCKING TEETH SHIFT IN MY MOUTH. AND HONESTLY, I WOULD DEMAND THAT YOU FOOT THE BILL FOR WHATEVER ELECTIVE FANG-ADJUSTMENTS I'D NEED TO UNDERGO TO FIX THIS DEFORMITY YOU JUST CAUSED, BUT I'M SCARED YOU MIGHT HAVE THE SHIT-NUGGED GUMPTION TAKE IT AS SOME KIND OF INVITATION TO START *PROVIDING* FOR ME OR SOMETHING. I HATE TO SAY IT. BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK THERE MIGHT ACTUALLY SOME UTILITY TO GOVERNMENT CENSORSHIP. I WISH THEY'D CENSOR EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR POSTS AT THIS POINT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE NEXT.
ivve supped on the bone marroww of a dyin god
wwtf he should be so lucky as to command a precision calibrated instrument of entropy the likes a wwhich you and i embody sigh nobody can handle us eri
so wwhen @caligulaAscendit joins the wwar on lord english on the side a lord english HE gets aura but wwhen iiiiiiii WWIN A 50,000 VV 1 i get -10,000 aura wwoww i see howw it is
HEY MAN. UH. YEAH. THANKS. I THINK I'M. LIKE. GOOD? ON THAT? THANKS. YEAH.
----AUTO-SENT FROM PALMHUSK AT 4:13 AM PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME (PST)---- WELL. I GUESS THIS IS IT. IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE, SO SKIP TO THE END IF YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THE FETID, RUBBERY DIGESTION SAC OF THIS GARGANTUAN BLUBBERBEAST FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS. THE GOOD NEWS? I MANAGED TO FIND SOME SORT OF... HONESTLY, I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THIS THING IS. IT'S THE MOST UNWHOLESOMELY UNPLEASANT SEA VESSEL I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON. IT'S SOME KIND OF HUGE, BUOYANT CHARIOT WITH FLEXIBLE SACS FOR MY FRONDS TO FIT INTO. FROM THE LOOKS OF IT, IT'S GOT TO BE *ANCIENT,* BUT ITS SOMEHOW STILL INTACT. I'M, UH. REALLY TRYING TO AVOID SITTING ON THE SEAT. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES AM I SITTING ON THIS SEAT. I REFUSE TO ELABORATE. BUT THANKS TO THIS THING, I'VE BEEN ABLE TO LOCOMOTE TO *SOME* DEGREE WITHOUT BEING DISSOLVED. AND IN A MORBID CASE OF IRONY, I HAVE, OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS STUCK IN AN UNDULATING SEA BEAST, FOUND MY SEA LEGS. THE BAD NEWS? IT'S BEEN A WHILE, AND NO RESCUE HAS SHOWN UP. MY FRIENDS ARE LITERALLY GODS. GODS AND CORPORATE MOGULS OF PREPOSTEROUS WEALTH AND EMPRESSES AND SEAFARING CACKLEBEASTS IN PETTICOATS WHO I'D LOVE TO SEE AS HALF-DIGESTED LEVIATHAN CHUNKS, BUT WHOM I'D RATHER SEE PRYING ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BECOME ONE, MYSELF. AND DESPITE IT ALL, NO ONE'S MANAGED TO FIND ME. THERE'S A CHANCE THAT SOMEONE COULD RECONSTITUTE ME FROM WHATEVER ACIDIC GOOP IS LEFT OF ME, BUT KNOWING THE OPPORTUNISTIC PSYCHOPATHS I ASSOCIATE WITH, JANE WOULD PROBABLY BRING ME BACK AS AN EVIL CORPORATE DRONE, AND FEFERI MIGHT BRING ME BACK AS SOME KIND OF IMPERIAL DRONE-HYBRID, FOR ALL I KNOW. RIGHT NOW, I HAVE THE RARE AND PERHAPS FINITE CERTAINTY OF BEING *ME.* AND I GUESS I'VE MADE MY PEACE WITH IT. KIND OF. NOT REALLY, BUT I CAN'T PIERCE THE INSIDE OF THIS THING WITH FUCKING ANYTHING, AND IT'S BEEN MAKING *EXTREMELY* WORRYING SOUNDS THAT INDICATE TO ME THAT SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, AND I'M NOT THRILLED TO GUESS WHAT IT IS. IF I HAD TO, I'D BET THAT IT'S GOING TO SWALLOW YET ANOTHER DERELICT HUNK OF SHIPWRECK, WHICH WILL KNOCK THE TROLL LIVING IN ITS BILIOUS INNARDS LOOSE AND TOSS ME INTO ITS SAC SOLVENT TO FINALLY TURN INTO NUTRIENT SLUDGE. MAYBE I'LL FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS. I MIGHT PULL SOME RIDICULOUS HIJINK OUT OF MY WASTE CHUTE AND PADDLE TO SAFETY THROUGH LEAGUES OF ROILING, BLACK ABYSS. OR JUST FUCKING EXPLODE UNDER THE IMMENSE, APHOTIC PRESSURE. BUT IF I DON'T, THEN AS MUCH AS IT *TORTURES* MY THROBBING SHAME GLAND TO SAY EVEN *ONE* NICE THING ABOUT ANY OF THE RAGING, CORYBANTIC ASSHOLES I'VE MET IN THE LAST WIPE... WELL, I DON'T WANT THEM TO THINK THAT I WAS AN UNGRATEFUL, INVERTEBRATE CHUMP WHO DIDN'T GIVE A BUGWINGED FUCK ABOUT THEM. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET A CHIT TO SEND IN OR OUT OF THIS THING'S FEEDERHOSEN (MAYBE ITS GUTS ARE LINED WITH LEAD, OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW), BUT I'M SETTING UP THIS CHIT SO THAT IT WILL HOPEFULLY UPLOAD ON ITS OWN AS SOON AS IT FINDS A POINT OF CONNECTION. IN THE EVENT THAT I DON'T ACTUALLY DIE, AND RESCUE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO COME AT THE *LAST* POSSIBLE SECOND, I DON'T THINK I'D BE ABLE TO SHOW MY FACE IN THIS OR ANY EXISTING TIMELINE IF I REALLY OPENED THE FLOODGATES AND LET AN UNMITIGATED TORRENT OF TROLLASSES-THICK EMOTIONAL *SAP* RUSH OUT IN BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS, SO I'M GOING TO FORCE MYSELF, FOR ONCE, TO BE CONCISE. AND TO SPARE MYSELF THE UNBEARABLE HUMILIATION OF INDICATING THAT I LIKED ANY OF YOU ESPECIALLY WELL, I'M ALSO DOING THIS IN COLD, STERILE, ALPHABETICAL ORDER. IN FACT, FOR GOOD MEASURE, I'M MAKING IT REVERSE-ALPHABETICAL. BECAUSE EVEN HERE AND NOW, I CAN'T HELP DOING EVERYTHING CHUTE-BACKWARDS. THESE COUNTERMEASURES SHOULD SERVE TO SUFFICIENTLY DILUTE WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE A FLESH-SEARINGLY CAUSTIC TIDAL WAVE OF AFFECTION BILE LAUNCHED STRAIGHT FROM THE MOST PUNGENT RECESSES OF MY PITY PUMP. #ENDEARINGDEATHDAY, OR SOMETHING. @WALKSTABWALK. I HATE THE WAY YOU DID IT, BUT THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO 2K. THANKS FOR HAVING MY BACK, JACK. @MEGALOMEMES. YOU'VE BASICALLY BEEN AROUND SINCE NIGHT ONE, HERE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU SEE IN ME THAT'S WORTH FOLLOWING, BUT THANKS. @IMPERIOUSCONDESCENSION. UNBELIEVABLE THAT I'M SAYING THIS HERE, BUT THANK YOU FOR SOMEHOW UNDOING A LIFETIME-LONG FEAR THAT HAD BEEN INDOCTRINATED FROM THE MOMENT OF HATCHING. ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BETTER. @GUTSYGUMSHOE. YOU ARE SO MANY THINGS. MANY OF THEM WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF THIS DEATHCUPE CONFESSION IF I HURLED THOSE BARBED EPITHETS AT YOUR EXPRESSION PLATE. BUT YOU'RE ALSO A GOOD SPORT. THANKS FOR HAVING MY DORSAL RIDGE. @GRIMAUXILIATRIX AND @GLAMOROUSAUSPACIAR. BOTH OF YOU HAD THE CHANCE TO *NOT* COMPEL ME TO RUN MY SHOUTGASH ABOUT TROLL WEEZER. YOU BOTH ENCOURAGED ME TO DO IT, ANYWAY. IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE WANTS TO LISTEN. @GALLOWSCALIBRATOR#1433. I'VE CHITTED IT ONCE, I'LL CHIT IT AGAIN. YOU'RE MY FUCKING LIFE SUPPORT. IRONIC, SINCE I'M ON THE VERGE OF A GRUESOME EXTINCTION, BUT YOU'VE KIND OF BEEN HERE SINCE THE BEGINNING. THANKS FOR LOOKING OUT FOR ME, TEREZI. @GALLOWSCALIBRATORR ALSO GETS A CRUMB OF MY GRATITUDE BECAUSE YOU DO ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING NAUSEATINGLY UPLIFTING TO SAY. IT BALANCES OUT THE SEVERELY TOXIC PH THAT I BRING TO THE FLAT, OBLONG EATING PLATFORM. I REALLY NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT ACID. AND BEING DISSOLVED. EUGH. @DOGWOODJACKAL. I AM NOT YOUR DAD. OR YOUR "CRABDAD." OR AT LEAST, I WASN'T. BUT IF YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WONDERING IF YOU'RE "THEIR KARKAT" OR "NOT THEIR KARKAT," YOU MISS OUT ON THE CHANCE TO BE "ANYONE'S KARKAT." SO YEAH, I GUESS I SOMEHOW AUDITIONED FOR A PART I NEVER ASKED FOR AND GOT IT. I DON'T HATE THAT. MUCH. @CUTTLEFISHCODDLER. IT'S A SECRETING SHAME THAT WE DIDN'T GET TO TALK MUCH BEFORE I WAS IMMEDIATELY SWALLOWED BY A BRINY BEHEMOTH NIGHTMARE FISH FROM THE FUCK-OFF DEEP. YOUR SITUATION SEEMS INTENSE. I GUESS IT ENDS UP THAT WAY FOR A LOT OF US, THE OLDER WE GET. I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY. REALLY. IF I LIVE, YOU MIGHT BE GENUINELY PROUD OF HOW WELL I'VE GOTTEN USED TO THIS WHOLE "SEA LEGS" THING. I COULD DO A FUCKING BACKFLIP WHILE THIS THING IS PITCHING AROUND. I WON'T. BECAUSE THERE IS A NON-ZERO CHANCE THAT I'LL FALL IN ACID AND DIE. @COLUMBIDAETOXICOLOGIST. I HAD NO INTENTION OF STICKING AROUND FOR MORE THAN TEN SECONDS ON THIS OOZING PUSTULE OF A WEBSITE UNTIL YOU WERE MY FIRST FOLLOW. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME ADMIT THIS, BUT YOU'RE HYSTERICAL. NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU'RE A PROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS AT TROLL HARVARD AND TROLL MIT, AND THAT SHOULD BE A CULLABLE CRIME. @CENTAURSPERIPHERALS. EQUIUS. YOU'RE A FREAK. YOU'RE THE MOST REVOLTING PIECE OF SHIT I'VE EVER BEEN FORCED ONTO A MOVING VESSEL WITH. AND KEEP IN MIND, VRISKA WAS ON THAT SHIP, TOO. SO THAT'S *REALLY* SAYING SOMETHING. I HATE THAT IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'RE PROBABLY READING IT WITH SWEAT POURING DOWN YOUR FOREHEAD IN A STEADY, CONSTANT STREAM OF SUCH LUDICROUS VOLUME THAT YOU'VE ALREADY SHORTED ALL THE ELECTRONICS NEAR YOU. I HATE WHAT A FREAK YOU ARE. BUT YOU'RE A LOYAL FREAK. THANKS FOR TRYING TO HELP, EARLIER. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WHOLE "REDEMPTION ARC." YOU REALLY, *REALLY* HAVE YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR YOU, THERE. @CALIGVLASAQVARIVM, @CALIGULASAQUARIUM, @CALIGULAASCENDIT. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU X3 COMBO. FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU FOR BEING SO FUCKING PRESENT IN MY LIFE. I HATE THAT OF ALL THE STEAMING PIECES OF SHIT HERE, YOU THREE WENT TO BAT FOR ME IN A WAY I'M INCAPABLE OF DENYING. FUCK YOU, ERIDAN. FUCK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. FUCK YOU FOR BEING A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. @BUMMELBOOGIE. SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SOME OF YOU ARE CLUTCHING FOR BY HANGING ONTO THE DRIVEL THAT COMES OUT OF THIS ACCOUNT, BUT YOU'VE ALSO BEEN HERE SINCE PRETTY MUCH THE BEGINNING. THANKS. @ASPIRINGPESSIMIST. THIS HONESTLY MIGHT BE THE HARDEST ONE FOR ME TO WRITE. I FEEL LIKE THIS MENTION IS INCRIMINATING IN ITS OWN SELF-EVIDENCE, BUT I'VE. UGH. I'VE GENUINELY ENJOYED TALKING TO YOU. I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THIS BEFORE I WAS TROLLNAPPED BY MY CURRENT, HIGHLY LETHAL MOBILE HIVE, BUT THANKS FOR HELPING ME SAVE EXPRESSION-PLATE AT FIGHT NIGHT. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVEN WANT TO TALK TO ME, AFTER I DISAPPEARED THE WAY I DID. AND THEN DISAPPEARED AGAIN. INTO THE BELLOWHOLE OF A SEA MONSTER. BUT IF I MAKE IT OUT OF HERE (AND I HAD BETTER NOT, AFTER SAYING ALL OF THIS CRAP), THEN I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE MOST SINCERE APOLOGY THAT I CAN DIG OUT OF MY BLACK, RUSTY, MAGGOT-RIDDLED BLOOD PUSHER AND PUSH IT YOUR WAY LIKE A FERAL PURRBEAST DROPS A MANGLED RODENT CORPSE. AND THANK YOU, AGAIN. @ARACHNIDSGRIPES. I TAKE IT BACK. THERE IS ONE TROLL I DREAD WRITING A MESSAGE FOR MORE THAN ANY OTHER. OF ALL THE RECIPIENTS EVER TO BEAR THE ROILING BRUNT OF MY FURIOUS, BURNING HATE, YOU ARE BY FAR THE MOST INTOLERABLE BITCH EVER TO EARN MY IRE. WORDS FAIL TO ENCAPSULATE THE DEPTH OF MY HATE. ACTIONS FAIL TO MAKE VIVID ITS DEPTHS. ONLY THE BLACK, BURNING CORONA OF AN ECLIPSE, CATACLYSMIC IN ITS STYGIAN GRANDEUR, RENDING THE LIGHT FROM THE SKY LIKE A CLAW PLUCKING THE GANDERBULB OF A GOD FROM ITS SOCKET, SEARING WITH A RUBY-RED RING OF IRE ALL WHO WOULD GAZE INTO THE ABYSS, COMES CLOSE TO ONE ONE-SQUINTILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR YOU IN THIS EXACT MOMENT. HATE. HATE. HATE. SIGH. AND YET, IT WAS MY OWN STUPID FAULT FOR COMING OUT HERE. I GET THE FEELING THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR ME JUST SO YOU CAN RUB YOUR SNIFFSTUMP IN MY FACE ABOUT WHAT A LAMEASS I AM AND HOW COOL YOU ARE FOR SAVING ME AND HOW WE SHOULD TOTALLY HATESNOG ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU SOOOOOOOO SEXY, WHICH IS A CLAIM YOU TREAT AS SELF-EVIDENT FACT DESPITE YOUR CONSTANT NEED TO RESTATE IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. AND FRANKLY, IT DOESN'T. IT JUST MAKES YOU AN INSUFFERABLE WHORE. BUT YOU *ARE* THE INSUFFERABLE WHORE WHO CONVINCED ME TO MAKE MY CHITTR IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO IT'S WITH MY TEETH CLENCHED TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN FEEL MY MANDIBLES CRACKING FROM THE SHEER STRAIN OF MY SEETHING FURY THAT I ADMIT THAT IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. YEAH. OKAY. THE WEIRD SEABEAST NOISES ARE GETTING LOUDER. THERE'S A SORT OF GURGLING SOUND, AND THE... WATER? ACID? THE LIQUID LEVEL IN THE PART OF THE FEEDTUBE I'M IN IS GOING DOWN, WHICH COULD BE VERY GOOD, OR VERY BAD. I GUESS I'LL FIND OUT, SOON. EITHER WAY, I'VE GOT TO SET THIS CHIT UP TO POST AUTOMATICALLY WHEN IT GETS THE CHANCE TO. *IF* IT GETS THAT CHANCE. #UNETHICALRELATIONSHIPADVICE: IN A PERFECT WORLD, DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE SIXTY SECONDS FROM BECOMING DIGESTIVE SLUDGE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A PERPETUALLY CHUFFED FREAK WITH A BIG, STUPID SMILE PLASTERED ON YOUR FACE ALL NIGHT AND DAY, BUT IF YOU'RE A SCREAMING, DISAGREEABLE TERMITE LIKE ME NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN, THEN, WELL. MAYBE THE TENTH TIME, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THAT WAY, YOU WON'T BE CHITTING YOUR OWN FUCKING EULOGY FROM A PLACE THAT SMELLS LIKE THE PICKLED WASTE CHUTE OF A DEAD, AQUEOUS ASS-KRAKEN THAT'S BEEN ROTTING IN THE DEEP SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL. IF YOU READ THIS FAR, YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE. WISH ME LUCK.
THE POST COULD HAVE STOPPED AT "LOVE CULLIN MUTIES," THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INFINITELY BETTER POST.
I HATE THIS, AND I HATE THAT YOU STILL LIED ABOUT YOUR TOE FETISH. "WASN'T READY" AND HERE THIS FUCKING SHIT IS.
im alvways saying this
↘️i watched a new employee laugh at my business card.↘️
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT CONFESSIONS BEING AN EXPULSION OF WEAPONIZED EMOTIONAL VOMIT. THIS IS THE SCREAM OF A DYING STAR. THIS IS THE ECLIPSE OF A SOLAR GIANT, THE SWAN SONG OF AN INSUFFERABLE PHILOSOFUCKER AND HIS UNDYING PASSION FOR BIG, FAT RUMBLESPHERES. I HATE THAT YOU MOVED ME TO TEARS WITH THIS. FUCK YOU. REALLY. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
aNd mIrTh! LeTs nOt fOrGeT ThE MiRtH.
i dOnT KnOw wHaT ThAt mEaNs bUt iM OkAy wItH ThAt. FoR WhAt i lAcK In sIzE, i mAkE Up iN PuShEr, StReNgTh, AnD MaScOtIsMs. :o)
i tHiNk bY LeGaL StAnDaRdS On sOmE PlAnEtS, i dO CoUnT As a oNe. 3'11 :o)
oH I SeE HiM! HtTpS://CdN.ImGcHeSt.cOm/fIlEs/a5c085f6e7d7.PnG hIiIi
yeah ivwe been there before
THANKS, FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATES MY PERFECT CHITTS INSTEAD OF BLOCKING ME
um shello everryone rrememberr how i said that i found land? so it's populated and therre arre landdwellerrs though i think one of them is secrretly a violet and like i hate all of them actually. they forrmed theirr own weirrd "rrejects" village. therres like the mad scientist and the weirrd cultist guy and uhhh the rrainbow drrinkerr girrl and ALL OF THEM SUCK okay the only norrmal guy herre is the puppet obsessed teal he's like chill i like puppets too. they don't know how to get out anyway so i don't know whats the point of staying herre. they just..... um.... they don't want to let me go now!!!! forr some weirrd rreason!!! they'rre weirrd. theirr rreasons arre prrobably weirrd. #stillneedhellakelp #HELP
#nsfw I hhate tthe cconflict of sshould I sstroke mmy bbulge ccrazy sstyle or mmake nnew ffriends, if only tthere wwas a wway tto ddo bboth~<
A BUNCH OF FUCKING PSYCHO SHIT. IM GOING BACK TO MY FUCKING BOOK. STOP PITYING ME!!!!
LOOK 4T TH1S! SH3S OBS3SS3D!!! HTTPS://CDN.D1SCORD4PP.COM/4TT4CHM3NTS/934847011675582495/1486135969903149196/1M4G3.PNG?3X=69C46774&1S=69C315F4&HM=B843991D6C559F89144377474351CD21853DFC97C93D333C1393D353B2CD42DD&
HELP TOO MANY OF YOU JACKASSES "PITIED" MY POST AT ONCE AND NOW I HAVE UNREAD NOTIFICATIONS THAT I CAN'T SEE. WHAT DO I DO. SOMEONE FIX THIS GODDAMN WEBSITE.
OH OKAY I SEE HOW THIS WORKS. NO, I GET IT. I FUCKING *LOVE* HAVING MY POSTS "PITIED"! PLEASE, WHATEVER YOU DO, "PITY" MY POSTS, AS IT BRINGS ME UNFATHOMABLE JOY! I AM LITERALLY ON MY HANDS AND KNEES, *BEGGING* YOU TO "PITY" MY POSTS