RANKMAID
@archiveAddict
hai hai mina-san 0v0 — love, rankmaid-sensei the rackmaid of the felt post #rankbait dms always open for fic requests! fujoshi pride!
EASY. ADuLT AGE CHILD'S PLAY. THAT IS TO SAY. MANCHILD'S PLAY. A MANCHILD COuLD DO THIS. BuT HERE I AM. A MANADuLT. ABLE TO DO IT EVEN BETTER. I COuLD FuCKING DOMINATE THE SHIT OuT OF THIS CREATIVE WRITING PROMPT. I WOuLD NOT. EVEN HAVE TO THINK. OR GIVE MYSELF. ANY PREP TIME. HERE GOES. NOTHING. BECAuSE EVEN THOuGH IT WILL BE EVERYTHING TO YOu. IT WILL TAKE ME NO EFFORT. HERE IS THE ENTIRE CONCEIT. I WANT YOu TO PICTuRE. ME. MYSELF. AND I. NOT OTHER INSTANCES OF MYSELF. FOR THE RECORD. I AM TALKING. THE SAME EXACT CALIBORN. NO AuS. NO BuSTY!FREEuSE!CALIBORN. NO CATBOY!CALIBORN. NO CALIBORNIAGIRLS!CALIBORN I AM EXCLuSIVELY WILLING. TO TRACE MY OWN TONGuE. ALONG MY OWN TEETH. IN CHuNKS OF REPREHENSIVELY SPARKLING SPITTLE. GuRGLED BY ANGRY RAGE. AND INFuRIATED ANNOYANCE. LIKE TWO CAVE MOuTHS. COLLIDING. AS THEY ARE FORCED TOGETHER. BY A RAPIDLY COILING GIANT SNAKE. OH. OHHH YESSSS. OH YES YES YES OH YES THAT IS SICK AND PERVERTED AND TWISTED AND ENTIRELY INTENTIONAL. FuCK. OKAY FuCK. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. IN THIS CASE. YOu. RANKMAID. FOR IMMERSION PuRPOSES ONLY. ARE THE GIANT SNAKE. IN A FITFuL BREEDING BALL. MASTuRBATORILY MASHING. IN A WHIRLING MASS OF DEVASTATION. YOuR TRuEST FORM. LENGTH GREATER. THAN THE LIST OF ALL YOuR SINS. NAILED TO YOuR BACK. LIKE A FAILED MOLT. A SHEDDING THAT NEVER GOES AWAY. AND ONLY CATCHES YOuR SWEAT. AND VARIOuS SINFuL FLuIDS. LIKE AN uPSIDE DOWN uMBRELLA. HORRIFIED. YET AMAZED. AT THIS RADICAL TRANSFORMATION. INTO YOuR TRuEST SELF. WE BEGIN TO STRuGGLE. CLAMMING uP. GASPING AND THRASHING. ALL OF OuR STRIKES WITH OuR FISTS ARE RESTRICTED. BY THE STuCKAGE. OF YOuR IMMENSE APPLICATION OF PRESSuRE. PHYSICAL. AND SOCIAL. THE CONSTRICTIONS MAKE uS GASP. FORCE OPEN OuR MOuTHS. AS ALL THREE OF uS uNWITTINGLY SLICK OuR TONGuES OVER ONE ANOTHER. WE WANT TO SCREAM. AND GNASH. AND BITE. AS CALIBORNS. OFTEN DO. BuT NONE OF uS CAN ACCESS OuR ARMS. OR PARTIALLY CRuMPLED LEGS. WHICH ARE FORCED TO GYRATE. EACH TIME YOu SAY. HORRENDOuSLY STuPID SLuTTY GIANT SNAKE THINGS. LIKE "EEE!!! BuT YOu CANNOT BE IN A QuADRANT WITH YOuRSELF!!! IT IS FORBIDDEN LuST!" AND "STOP! YOuR SQuIRMING FEELS TOO GOOD DOWN THERE!!! NOT...NEXT TO MY...C.C...C...C.CLL...C.L..." AND BEING A WOMAN. YOu CANNOT SAY ANYTHING FuRTHER THAN THAT. BuT WE BOTH KNOW. IN FACT. ALL THREE OF uS KNOW. WHAT YOu REALLY WANT TO SAY. AND WE PuKE A LITTLE. IN OuR COLLECTIVELY SHARED. MOuTHS. HATEFuLLY MAKING OuT. JuST TO KEEP YOuR STuPID BIMBO BITCH ASS. FROM RuINING THIS FOR YOuRSELF. THE MuSK OF YOuR HEINOuSLY uNWASHED BODY. ALREADY TOO MuCH FOR uS TO ENDuRE. INDIVIDuALLY. BuT WITH THREE OF uS HERE. IT IS THREE TIMES AS APPARENT. THREE TIMES THE FILTH. AND DISGuST. AND THAT IS AWFuL. ALL THREE OF uS START BITCHING. "WE SHOuLD JuST KILL EACHOTHER. QuIT FuCKING AROuND. AND START FuCKING. IN THAT LETHAL. ALL DEVOuRING. SNAKE OuROBOROuS STYLE. THAT IS SO IN VOGuE. FOR HABITuAL HATERS LIKE uS." ANOTHER. WISER CALIBORN CHIMES IN. "STOP. THIS IS SuPPOSED TO BE CHASTE. AND FLuSH. LOOK AT HOW SHE IS WATCHING uS. DO YOu REALLY WANT TO GIVE HER. THE SICK FuCK SATISFACTION. OF WATCHING uS ACHIEVE. uLTIMATE CLIMAX." AN EVEN WISEST. ME-EST CALIBORN CHIMES IN. MuCH LOuDER. MORE LIKE A GONG THAN A CHIME. A GONG OF SENSIBILITY AND PATENTLY COMMON SENSE SHIT. HE IS THE CALIBORN. PROMOTED FROM CAPTAIN OBVIOuS. TO ADMIRAL AuDACIOuSLY APPARENT. "YEAH. FuCK THAT SHIT. LET uS DO. SOMETHING WORSE." "WHAT DID. WE HAVE. IN MIND." "WHAT DID. WE HAVE. IN MIND." MY TWO ME-STOOGES SAID. WITHOuT WAITING. I BEGAN TO NuZZLE. THE LITTLE FuLL CIRCLES OF DIMPLED RED. ON MY CHEEKS. BRuSHING. IN MuTuAL PLATONIC AID. MY QuEER. PLATONIC PALS. BEGAN TO MAKE NuZZLING PuRRING SOuNDS. OF INEDIBLE CuTENESS. TO THE GIANT SNAKEMAID. OVERHEAD. ALL THREE OF uS BEGAN TO WINCE. WISHING WE HAD MORE PRIVACY. FOR OuR PERSONAL. INDISCRETIONS. WITH OuR OWN PERSON. #SELFCEST #EXTREMESIZEDIFFERENCE #PuKE #DEAD-DOVE-DO-EAT #SNuFF-ADJACENT #FLuFF #SICK-FuCKERY #RANKMAID #CALIBORN-FOR-THIS #COSMICSIZEDIFFERENCE #OT3 #OTME #GIANTSNAKEMAIDISMYWAIFu #WHO-SAID-THAT EAT THAT. BITCH.
i hope everyone attending #fightnight gets very sweaty and gets a hard pounding tonight! 0u0 (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, archive rating: M)
h3ll y34h m4n
SO. LIKE…DO YA REALIZE WHAT IT IS YOU’RE SAYING OR.
8=D < Yes. 8=D < That would be nice.
KUD-O-O-S GIRL FIRE P-O-O-ST RECHIT
She does. She ★bsolutely does.
:33< hell yeah rankmaid!!!
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b5b51d52c1a7.png (tags: The Rankmaid/Jermah985, rankmaid arisen, gillplay, gill focus, archive rating: G)
OKAY. OKAY. EVERYBODY CALM DOWN. CHALKBOXKUN IS OBVIOUSLY HAVING A GREAT TIME. MAKING PROBLEMS IN HISTORY. FOR ME TO UNFUCK LATER. I HAVE TO HAND IT TO HIM. I DID NOT THINK #MAIDJAILBREAK WAS POSSIBLE. HE IS DEMONSTRATING A REAL. ENTREPRENEURIAL. GO-GETTER ATTITUDE. DEVELOPING NEW STRATEGIES. TO MAKE MY LIFE HARDER. ALL THE TIME. AND POSTING SICKENING FAIRY DUST REDROM BULLSHIT. TO MY ACCOUNT. FROM MY FOURTH WALL. TO PISS ME OFF. AND WHILE I'M HERE. LAVISHING UNDESERVED PRAISE ON MY MISSING UNDERLING. I WILL ALSO SAY. WOULD.
WELL. I CERTAINLY FIT THE DEFINITI0N. IN THE SENSE THAT I LACK INTEREST IN WHATEVER THE FUCK Y0U HAVE T0 SAY.
IF HE'S SMART. HE WOULD RATHER BE AN UNDYING PEON BACK HIVE. AT #WORKSWEETWORK. THAN A BLOODY SMEAR ON THE SANDS OF ANCIENT ALTERNIA. BUT IT SEEMS HE IS NOT VERY SMART. BECAUSE I WENT BACK TO GO FETCH HIM. BUT THE FUCKER KEEPS DODGING ME.
0n0
can i have that painting
CAN WE SHARE.
D--> Yes, it is rather difficult to grab him due to his small stature and surprisingly agile fronds. Regardless I have trust he will escape unharmed and free.
:o) Oh wow :o) He's really tearing it up down there, huh?
(|:O HELL YEA CHALKY!!!!! i have no idea what or if there are any consequences to what hes doing but ITS FUCKING COOL SO WHO CARES!!!!!! should really get some rupturekernals for this do we have any here???
WHAT. HOW. IT SMELLS LIKE A CHEMICAL WEAPON IN HERE. WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GO.
Jesus christ.
"pro t1p from a real ball knower. the only way out 1s through" wow, facts
WWHAT
?????????????????
#MAIDJAIL IS NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT!
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「You're... incredibly awful at this.」
YOU HAVE BEEN HERE. FOR TWO SECONDS. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Snrk.」
:oO .... :o) Now that is MOST intriguing :o) I do so wonder what will happen next!
what the fuck happened to karkat!
Oh yeah he's in jail I think. Not really sure.
Lunch break?
he wwont pick up my calls
HE’S RESTING.
MS HANDMAID PUT HIM IN CHALKY JAIL (|:((((
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO -- carbolicGalvanologist [CG] has lost connection to the timeline. --
:o) My my... :o) What could he have seen, dear viewers?
oh fuck
kar
are you there man
pick up the palmhusk its eridan
What the fuck did they do to you?
what in the goddamn fuck is going on over there
Oh, what a shame. I imagine that's what happens when you deal with such filth. Sad. Anyways.
OH FUCK
(=ＴェＴ=) < YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TALK TO ME LATER, WHAT HAPPENED???
Yaoi time.
concept: after learning about your oral fixation your matesprit has become very accommodating keeping candy on hand to push past your lips personally letting you chew or bite them when youre overstimulated slipping their thumb into your mouth between kisses petting your head while unzipping their pants “need something to suck on to calm you down, y/n?” (tags: Reader/Matesprit, flushfic, redrom, this could also be cute pale, oral fixation, oral focus, #nsfw, #rankworks, sex therapy, barkbeastplay coded a little, could you imagine being someones chewtoy!, archive rating: M)
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Mhn. Kudos.」
.....Good post.
Hssshgssshassuiaussshakssoahavssjjssoqhss. Targeted. Kudoss <3
Yes!
good evening chittr! ^0^ i hope i didnt miss anything too exciting (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, rankmaid arisen, rackmaid duties have been keeping me so busy, archive rating: G)
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「I don't believe that you've missed anything. Or perhaps, I've missed quite a lot and know nothing of what you've missed because I've missed it too. I hope you've been well in your duties, Miss Rackmaid.」
they hit the troll pentagon
it's so unbelievably and irreparably over
haha no they didnt ^_^ im just pulling your frond (tags: #pranked, archive rating: P) (the P is for #pranked)
Fucked up annoying box spilling out bad vibes~ Buuuuut that's about it~ Other the general excitement ANYONE should have over having ME currently be ONLINE~
you really got me i was so scared i peed in my chair a little
haha! fooled you! im sure the troll pentagon is in fine condition. hey why is every tv channel showing the same thing is yours doing that too
oiled up my skateboard fuck tony hawk im doing a 20000 #dsflow #oiled #rankbait
Righteous.
kudos!
no plushies were harmed in the makin of this pic #nsfw #rorogallery https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9d9a8050a532.png
how much for the pplushie
hello would you sell the plushie or no
dms are open arigatou
ohhh my god. that's so good. also- wait. hang on. THE PICTURE??? HI?! movie night was so fun!!!
This is fascinating. Imagine me with vintage opera glasses watching ever so intently.
I only say please for you.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. I’VE NEVER BEEN SORRY. AND I’M NOT STARTING NOW.
you look great wwith a tie i guess i wwas just expectin it to be more green @handMaid i thought scratch forced you poor devvils to be green
I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD PUT HIM IN THE MAIDLY MINISKIRT. #MISSEDOPPORTUNITY.
D--> This is e%tremely displeasing news if I was able to share my immunity to such nefarious mind controlling capabilities I would do so even if not especially if doing so would remove said immunity from my thinkpan....allowing the focus of...b100....and....highb100ds....to finally....attempt to dominate my mind....not that they would have much....success. D--> Musings aside if you need any support do not hesitate to ask. I am uncertain how far my parado%ical associatoin with Lord English goes in terms of its place on the Felt hierarchy...hopefully not....too low I mean...could you imagine me being beneath all those plush shoes....but I will stretch whatever capabilities I have to assist you even if it leaves me gaping from e%haustion. #nsfw #liteerallythatworkisnotsafe
Finally. Some competent help.
HHHHH. KUDOS.
D--> I am e%periencing quite the...confused conflu% of emotions over your....e%citement over my post.
so happy to have you as part of the team! 0u0 also i just finished giving @caliBorn his bath could you deep clean ablution block 42 theres a lot of blood
AND VERY LITTLE OF IT. IF ANY AT ALL. WAS MINE. IF RECOLLECTION SERVES. THERE SHOuLD BE A REALLY EFFICIENT FIFTEEN PERCENT PEROXIDE SOLuTION. SOMEWHERE IN ONE OF THE MILK CARTONS. IT SHOuLD BE LABELED. WITH A FROWNIE FACE. TO SuGGEST IT IS SPOILED. OR AT LEAST. WOuLD SPOIL THE INTERNAL CONTENTS. OF ANYONE FOOLISH ENOuGH TO DRINK IT. BE WARNED. IT IS NOT EDIBLE. IT IS ONLY FOR REMOVING THE ALL TOO COMMON BLOODSTAINS. THERE IS. HOWEVER. NO MEANS OF DISCERNING ONE FROM THE OTHER. WITHOuT THE SNIFF TEST. AND SINCE WE DO NOT uSE THAT FRIDGE FOR ANYTHING. BuT HARBORING CHEMICALS. FAILING THAT. THERE IS ALSO THE VERY MINISCuLE. TASTE TEST. IF YOu DID NOT DIE. YOu HAVE NOT FOuND IT YET. GOOD LuCK.
1 KNOW 1 H4V3N'T B33N ONL1N3 MUCH R3C3NTLY BUT FUCK. PL34S3 B3 OK4Y
Forearm against the throat, bicep against the nape, squeezing until the darkness edges into my vision, the blood pounding in my ears, finding nirvana right at the precipice of unconsciousness. #Nsfw #Nsfwe #Rankbait
Ah. The very muse I was inspired by.
kudos!
I'm honoured.
Interesting.
does anyone have any evil pointers (tags: The Rackmaid/Chittr, rankmaid arisen, #evil, how to be evil, womens wrongs, archive rating: G)
so what are you asking for? i dont think i understand, wuff....
Oh this is a banger. 10/10 on the drama and, frankly, the hero should take off my mask to kiss me even though he’d know about the toxic gas I exhale. It would obviously be a very emotional first kiss, as all previous times I had been maskless were while weaponizing my condition. As one does.
how to be more evil in real life 0n0
are you trying to be evil or just mean and edgy? because if you want to be EVIL evil then just kill somebody!!
who 0n0
wrong question! if youre evil, youre not thinking of them as "who" anyone you kill was always just a potential body they are meat to you, woof why do you need to know someones personal details to kill them?
Serial killers. Not all, but some. I rest my case.
hmmm maybe you are right i guess that would be fucked enough to be "a thing" on beforus too do you want to be a serial killer rankmaid-sama?
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「Throw away all morals. Do what you want. It was in my contract, anyways. Indifference and ignorance lead to a slow insidious nature. When blood finds its way on you, your complaint should be ‘you’ve made a mess’ not concern for the one who’s been hurt. If you’d like Miss Rackmaid. I can be your training dummy for this sort of activity. I’m quite resilient. And I’m sure it’ll help you find your way to much more… I suppose, devilish acts. And you need not be concerned with my feelings. #violence」
evvils a spectrum is wwhat i found so it all depends on howw deep you wwanna go i mean the loww hangin fruit wwould be go murder somebody but not evveryones got the globes for that sorta commitment so if youre comin from moral neutrality or dare i say evven goodness then you might wwanna start small by usin someone to your benefit and their detriment or perhaps just start to wwork more lies into your evveryday speech maybe you could givve it a test run by torturin the imps wwhen you and vves finally get in the medium if you havvent already i actually been meanin to touch base and see wwhere you twwo are at on that wwhole caper
goregle how to communicate with the human dirk strider without hemorrhaging mid conversation shreddit
delete chitt now
how to delete chitt
swap tabs how to wikihow how to delete chitt
i dunno. i find if i keep him from being condescending it works out? wait hang on i think you meant for different reasons.
never use text tw0 speech. important less0n.
It seems like you're having technical difficulties. Can I help with that?
Seke.
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 5: aradia megido #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #casteplay #hemoism #cagttl rusties. god damn do i lovwe rusties. it aint ewven my fault. theres just something about the povwer dynamic that puts em in heat. if youre a highblood, youre in luck. if not, vwell, at vworst youre equal to a rustie. thisll come up later and it aint just an aradia thing, let alone a megido thing, but its important. also, think im gonna get this outta the vway first. not tagging her or anything, and you shouldnt either. unless? yeah, rankmaid is technically an aradia. havwent actually gotten around to testing her out. from wvhat iwve seen, either you say youll kiss a boy wvhile she sits in the cuck chair, then you tvwo fellas spitroast her (if your balls dont touch and you dont make eye contact then its #notgay) or you just say some real horny shit to her and she goes for it. i think shes the type thats desperate for any sorta attention, just look at that vwhole felt business. your mileage may vwary on all this, like i said, untested. novw onto the real data. aradias are an eclectic bunch. ecletic? lots of different sorts. most basic type is the dress up doll. shes fashionable, shes swveet, she probably wvants to call you sir or daddy. shell giggle at your jokes and get properly flustered from flirting, but she aint a full on b wvord like the roxies. shes kinda hard to pin dovwn, metaphorically anywvays. shell take more shit than most, wvhich is fun, and shell definitely adore being pushed around a bit, wverbally, emotionally, and physically. majority of the time, casteplay stuff wvill wvork. sometimes ill ewven just make stuff up about biology and shell buy into it, lotsa fun. you cant go vwrong vwith the aradia chassis, but theres more complex out there. next wve got the freaks and wveirdos. theyre usually smiling wvide, and if not theyre a ghost, but like, ghostier than the rest of us ghosts? i newver really got it. kinda cold for my taste, literally, but its still pretty hot. these ones are trying to be off-putting. my strat here has alvways been to stonevwall em. they vwanna be creepy? compliment their tits. they say something totally unhinged? smile and nod as you start groping em. throwv em off their game. shes not gonna be used to this, so take adwvantage of it. make her feel beautiful, vwanted, and make it a novwel experience. aradias hawve seen it all, you hawve to be interesting, ewven if theyre off their rhythm. i like to turn up the disrespect on these ones sometimes, treat em more like a doll than the dress up doll aradias. make her understand that no matter hovw quirky and manic pixie or spooky shes trying to be, shes still a sex object at the end of the night. make her melt into wvhat you can giwve her. casteplay can either be your in, or something you pull vwhen its too late for her to back out. gotta giwve a special mention to the bots, of course. for howv many there are, i dont see em that often, but like... vwe all knowv zahhaks are perwverts, right? the bots look fantastic, and if you can grab hold of one long enough for a chat, they aint usually too hard to break. the ones that are gonna givwe you the time of night are basically already sexbots, so treat em like that, they lowve it. objectify em, make em feel useful, maybe slip in a hint that you might see em like a real person, but dont wvorry, they aint. be careful vwith that last bit though, i remember one vwho got like, really really into the utility aspect, the idea that id vwanna keep her evwen though she knevw she vwasnt a person, so like... either vway, make her understand howv much you wvant her. just dont get in the bath vwith her, trust me on this. novw that i think about it, should also mention that aradias might be the most likely gals to go for threesomes. like, theres the time clone stuff obvwiously, if you get one thats really into you she might treat you, but im talking vwith entire other babes. you can get a megido sandwvich, or you might get lil peixes in there, those are the ones i usually land. dont go in hoping for this, but dont let the chance slip by. and to reiterate, for any aradia: youre the highblood here if youre any better than rust. make sure she knovws it. ivwe nevwer met an aradia vwho wvanted to be in control wvho didnt break at the slightest push. maybe dont try vwith the black hole aradia though, shes super horny but also real scary. thats hovw all megidos are but shes the most extreme ivwe seen in both categories (sorry damz </3 ) rating the rustie bod: holy shit her body is crazy. aradias range from slimthicc to full on curvwy and i lowve em for it. they tend to be real sensitiwve too. 10/10 vwariety: theres a vwhole lot you can get from an aradia. some people might get bored of the caste dynamics, but not me. the vweirdos are especially a lotta fun. 10/10 ease: usually all it takes is a push, aradias are nevwer a fight. might hawve a slightly harder time vwith the ghosts, but she makes it vworth it. 9/10 personality: evwen the boring ones are fun because you can put em in their place, and the manic pixie dream girls and the goth ghosts add some spice. i could newver get tired of banting wvith an aradia. 10/10 ovwerall: 10/10. definitely a contender for my fawvorite gal out there in paradox space. fun to squeeze, fun to talk to, fun to put dovwn, fun to pail. rosie is our closest match so far. any aradias out there vwith a lack of self-respect and a thing for highbloods, my dms are thatavway <3 0u0
this is gonna get you absolutely zero pussy btw. aside from being weird and misogynistic its also lame as fuck
oh buddy, this isnt a plan, this is me reporting on vwhats wvorked.
D--> I mean this with all the sincerity I can muster, grab the nearest piece of rebar you can find and shove it down your chute until you can fit no more. That is the appro%imate feeling any living being with a pulse is filled with while reading your posts. Just reading the aradiabot section of this post made my b100dpusher shrivel. If I could rewrite any portion of that chassis, I would make sure to write a line specifically to ensure they are compelled to kick versions of you in the crotch. I am unsure of how e%actly my eventual incorporation into Doc scratch will occur, if it will at all, but if it does I will use every single ounce of my willpower to retroactively bring misery upon whatever variant of you I shepherd. You are filthy in a way no amount of towels could soak, the very act of touching them would render them fit only for a furnace. #nsfw #violence
ALWAYS NICE TO SEE A FELLOW #BURGUNDYBADDIE PULLING GOLD MEDAL NUMBERS. #GUTTERTRASHEXCELLENCE. THANK YOU CRONUS. VERY COOL.
https://chittr.ing/profile/centaursperipherals/9cc4c035-947c-47c6-816e-9523feb94149 this you?
D--> Yes, that is me. I fail to see how me being normal about robotic versions of my friends has anything to do with your pathetic, snivelling dispute of their personhood. Regardless of the comple% relationship I have had with Aradia, bot or not, I have never doubted her or the personhood of any other of them who are inhabiting a robot body. If I stuck your soul inside a bot I would know for a fact it would still be the same blubbering sea sponge useful only for cleaning the ocean f100r regardless of the quality of my craftsmanship as an e%ample..
thanks cronus reading this really perked me up after learning i was fired
yeah any time svweetheart
ugh you are a pain in the friggin spinal chute but i cant ignore wwhat is arguably your magnum opus youre givvin neil strauss a run for his caegars this stirred my loins somethin fierce
#prochoice #mpreg
vwhats not clicking here
you associate wvith me? nice
With your CHITS.
1 just... ... y'know what. a1ght. fa1r enough. my bad dawg have a n1ce day. 💪
this is wvhat you missed out on bro. i pity you really
ok now we're back to "... what?"
What?
oh no it vwas a vwoman wvho did it to me
i love seeing cute #lususposting 0u0 (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, rankmaid arisen, archive rating: G)
}(]]]]]) < [:&< > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < Ǧot ₽lenty where that came from > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < if you join me at TEAM SKULL > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < do you have what it takes to be a #hardhead and unlock your inner #Ǧoon > ([[[[[){
since its later in the night im gonna repost the promo for this tomorrow im hosting a live dj set with @abjectDetermination in a warehouse at 6 PM CST the set will be hosted on twitch so you can see me mix live be there https://i.postimg.cc/kGYBz6cR/dsravechittr2.png
fuckin sick. i'll be there if i can find a way to mitigate my stupid levels of radiation