Karkat Vantas
@carcinoGeneticist
SURVIVOR OF SGRUB / EARTH-C SQUATTER / BASICALLY JUST GOT HERE SO 'CAUSAL SPOILERS' ARE APPRECIATED THANKS.
I'M ABOUT TO GO TO 'CUPE BUT IT'S WORTH COMMENTING THAT EVERY SINGLE KARKAT THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE HAS GONE INTO A PERSONAL RANKING I KEEP. IF I'VE SEEN YOU, YES, EVEN YOU RANDOM KARKAT #827462, YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN THIS MENTAL CHECKLIST I KEEP OF EVERY VERSION OF ME THAT HAS EVER EXISTED. IF YOU'RE THINKING 'WELL, I'M A PRETTY GREAT KARKAT! I IMAGINE I'M AT THE TOP OF THIS LIST!' I GUARANTEE, YOU FECKLESS, SELF-CENTERED PRICK, YOU ARE WAY, WAY, *WAY* DOWN THE LINE. ALL THIS BEING SAID. @CHEEKYGIT IS THE WORST ONE. RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM. I HOPE HORRORTERRORS FLAY YOU FOR SPORT.
OY, YOU FUCKING CHEEKY GEEZER. YOU’VE GOT ME FUCKED OFF NOW. YOU’RE A RIGHT CRACK UP YOU ARE FOR THINKING YOU COULD SLAG ME OFF LIKE THIS IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE. HAVE A GO AT THE FUCKING BLOODY MIRROR, NOT ME, YOU’RE THE SAME BLOKE AT THE END OF THE DAY. CAN’T FLIPPITY FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. YOU ABSOLUTE VILE WASTE OF SPACE OF A TOSSER. *ESPECIALLY* AFTER I SHARED MY CHIPPY WITH YOU. WHERE IS THE BRUV CODE THESE DAYS HEY. GET FUCKING CHINNED. END OF. x
YOU MIGHT BE THE ONLY SON OF A BITCH WHO UNDERSTANDS ME, AND I MEAN THAT. IF ANYONE IS QUALIFIED TO BE AS HORRIFICALLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THEIR 'ALT-SELVES' AS I AM, IT'S A DIRK STRIDER. THE BOTTLE IS PASSED, AND WE ARE SHARING SIGHS SO WORLD-WEARY FUCKING ATLAS IS HAVING TROUBLE WITH THEIR WEIGHT.
OH GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF YOU PUB-ADDICTED BASTARD. SO WE SHARED A MOMENT OVER FISH AND CHIPS, SO FUCKING WHAT?! IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING. YOUR DISGUSTING BREAKTISH BULLSHIT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. NO TRUE KARKAT WOULD EVER BE FROM THE ISLES, LET ALONE FUCKING *MANTHRESHTER*. TO PUT IT SIMPLY? I'LL SLAG YOU OFF ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, YOU BLOODY TWAT. BITE ME.
Humansplaining quadrants????? Lol bugger off
ACTUALLY I'M CHANGING SGRUB TO A 6/10 BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HAVE A FISHING MINIGAME.
NOT THAT ANYONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY BUT IN PERFECT HONESTY? THE GAME WASN'T THAT BAD. THE DEATHS AND FAILURES CAME ABOUT DUE TO PLAYER INCOMPETENCE AND COSMIC HORROR- THE ACTUAL GAME ITSELF? WE KIND OF KICKED ASS AT! A 600 HOUR CAMPAIGN FOR A TWELVE PLAYER SESSION? I THINK WE DID THAT SHIT IN RECORD FUCKING TIME. MY FRIENDS DYING AND BILIOUS SLICK BECOMING BILIOUS SICK WAS *MY* FAULT AT THE END OF THE NIGHT. AND DON'T TAKE THIS TO BE SOME SELF PITYING BOO HOO WOE IS ME BULLSHIT- THAT'S PAST KARKAT'S THING. I CAN OWN MY MISTAKES WITHOUT GETTING INTO MY HEAD ABOUT THEM BECAUSE WHAT'S DONE IS DONE. WE SURVIVED, WE MADE IT THROUGH, AND WE'RE HERE NOW. MAYBE OTHER PEOPLE FROM MY SESSION OR THE SESSIONS ADJACENT THAT WE GOT SHUNTED INTO MIGHT DISAGREE, BUT IN MY EXPERIENCE? SGRUB IS A SOLID 7/10.
I MEAN, THERE ABSOLUTELY IS NUANCE? I WAS TECHNICALLY A PART OF *THREE* SEPARATE SESSIONS, AND THE LEVEL OF NUANCE TO JACK'S CHARACTER IS KIND OF CRAZY. IN OUR HOME SESSION WITH OUR ORIGINAL TWELVE? THAT DUDE HAD MY FUCKING *BACK*, THE FACT THAT WE HAD TO BETRAY AND EXILE HIM FELT LIKE I WAS THROWING A FRIEND OFF OF A CLIFF. ...ACTUALLY, MAYBE THAT COMPARISON IS CHARGED, LET'S MOVE ON. IN THE SECOND SESSION I GOT TO HAVE A HAND IN (THE UNIVERSE WE MADE BUT DIDN'T GET TO VISIT), JACK WAS UNEQUIVOCALLY THE BAD GUY AND ALSO A BARKBEAST FOR WEIRD BULLSHIT REASONS THAT WOULD TAKE, LIKE, FIVE ACTS OF SOME BULLSHIT PLAY TO EXPLAIN. THEN IN THE THIRD SESSION, THE ONE THAT GOT SCRATCHED AFTER SESSION TWO GOT FUCKED UP BY BARKJACK, I DON'T THINK WE EVER EVEN SAW HIM! COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT CHARACTER THAT I TOTALLY LOST TRACK OF. *THAT'S* NUANCE.
Okay, FAIR! Our Jack got manipulated and mega murdered early on, so I never even got to meet him!!! That's a fair assessment though. I guess another thing is the seeding. You don't know if your session is a dud until you get there! Mine wasn't a dud, thank goodness, because a 28 player session scratch sounds like a total headache!!!
OKAY THE SEEDING TO A DUD REALLY DOES FUCKING SUCK, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THE SCRATCH IS FOR THOUGH, EVEN IF THE ACTIVATION REQUIREMENTS FOR THAT SHIT ARE SO GOD DAMN ESOTERIC.
no what iim beiing 2o genuiine riight now 2grub wa2 a fanta2tiic game the liife and death 2take2 the annoyiing a22 puzzle2 beiing trapped wiith the weiirde2t example2 of my 2peciie2 rangiing from p2ychopathiic two fuckiing 2tupiid what wa2nt there two love
OKAY WELL THE LIFE AND DEATH STAKES DIDN'T REALLY MEAN A LOT TO US AS INHERENT TO THE GAME BECAUSE, AGAIN, WE KICKED SGRUB'S ASS? THE PUZZLE SHIT IS BASICALLY THE ONLY THING I'LL GIVE YOU HERE AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN COMPLAINING ABOUT?! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD AT PUZZLES, DUDE.
fiir2t of all ju2t becau2e 2omethiing2 ea2y two me doe2nt make iit le22 annoyiing two do e2peciially iif the thiing iin que2tiion wa2 de2iigned for liiteral wriigglee2 2econd that2 the iinherent problem wiith your premii2e the fuck do mean a2 iinherent two the game everythiing ii2 iinherent two the game the giiant biig angry bald a22hole waviing hii2 metaphoriical 2taff around and fuckiing u2 then the human2 then u2 by proxy would never have been a thiing iif 2burb diidnt exii2t
I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD SAY THAT ABOUT MOST THINGS IF YOU TRACE IT BACK FAR ENOUGH THOUGH? LIKE, IT'S WHATEVER DUDE. YOU CAN NOT LIKE THE GAME. BUT I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY STANCE THAT IT WASN'T THAT BAD BECAUSE YOU'RE THOUGHT YOURSELF INTO A NEUROSES SPIRAL AND KEEP POINTING FINGERS AT A VIDEO GAME FOR SOME SHIT THAT WAS THE FAULT OF ONE SUPER AWFUL GUY!
iit2 not liike iim traciing how actually me 2tubbiing my toe iinto one of my hiive2 wall2 ii2 the fault of one random yellowblood acciidentally 2neeziing and wriitiing the wrong liine of code iinto a carpenter drone2 oriientatiion mechanii2m lord englii2h ii2 liiterally the rea2on for all our biigge2t problem2 and he could only become 2uch a biig green blowhole due two 2burb
eyyy same in my tl. it was the start of s0mething beautiful.
TRYING TO KEEP MY EYE ON THE KARKATS ON THIS WEBSITE WHO ARE ACTUALLY WORTH A SINGLE OUNCE OF MY IRE REALLY IS A FULL TIME FUCKING JOB. YOU KNOW THAT I SAY THIS SHIT TO MAKE YOU BETTER, RIGHT? IF I DON'T INTERACT WITH YOU, PRESUME THAT EITHER YOU'RE A KARKAT WHO TOUCHES GRASS ENOUGH THAT I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE *OR* (AND THIS ONE'S MORE LIKELY) I DISAPPROVE YOU SO WHOLLY THAT YOU ARE BENEATH MY SCORN. AND YES. YOU *SHOULD* BE ASHAMED.
I MAY NOT BE A KARCABLE BUT I APPROVE OF THEE QUITE MUCH
IT’S REALLY CHARITABLE, ACTUALLY, ESPECIALLY HELPING FORMER INMATES. LET ME SLAP MY PRONGSTUBS TOGETHER IN APPROVAL.
MY MAGNANIMITY TRULY KNOWS NO BOUNDS. THEY SHOULD GIVE ME SOME KIND OF MEDAL FOR HAVING TO DEAL WITH YOUR CRIMINAL ASS.
i dont put THAT much st0ck in quadrants but that sounds like blackr0m dude.
HARD FUCKING PASS, THANKS. I'VE TREAD ON THAT DESOLATE, DESICCATED ROAD BEFORE AND I'M NOT EAGER TO BE THROWN DOWN IT AGAIN.
I REALLY DON'T USUALLY MAKE THESE PUBLIC OVERTURES BUT CONSIDERING THE GENERAL CIRCUMSTANCES OF EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF PERIGEES IT'D BE KIND OF REMISS FOR ME NOT TO MAKE SOME KIND OF POST ABOUT IT. SO HERE, IN FRONT OF EVERY FUCKER ON THE TIMELINE: @ARACHNIDSGRIP#9137 - HAPPY 8/8. I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE IN HAVING 'DAYS' LIKE THIS, BUT HEY, IT'S CLEARLY SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU AND IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, WELL. IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME. I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU'RE MY ROOMMATE SLASH GIRLFRIEND AND THIS IS ABOUT AS MUSHY AS YOU WILL *EVER* GET ME ON THE PUBLIC TIMELINE. FUCK YOU. FUCK 8/8, AND FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS STUPID FEELING HAPPEN IN MY PUSHER THAT DROVE ME TO MAKE THIS POST.
AAAAAAAAW, GUYS! Look, he really DOES care! Happy 8/8 to you, Karkat. You're on the hook for taking me out to that pizza place l8tr 8tw.
YEAH YEAH WHAT THE FUCK EVER. LIKE I'M NOT CONSTANTLY TAKING YOU OUT ANYWAY. *YOU'RE* ON THE HOOK FOR TAKING MY NOTES.
awwwwwwww! it really is a special day if youre being so sweet in front of everyone 🥺💚
I THINK KANAYA MIGHT BE ONE OF VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT THE FUCK IT'S LIKE FOR ME TO HAVE A MILLION STRANGE TIMECLONES WHO ALL KIND OF SUCK. THE PART THAT GETS MY FUCKING CAPRIHORROR IS THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO LIKE EACH OTHER?! EVEN THE ONES THAT SUCK?! FUCKING MADDENING.
THERE IS SINGULARLY NO FORCE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE MORE PRIMED TO MAKE ME WANT TO PUT MY OWN HEAD THROUGH A WALL THAN ANOTHER KARKAT. HOLY SHIT, HOW ARE THERE ONLY LIKE THREE OF US WHO ARE ABLE TO PASS AS SOMEWHAT TOLERABLE?! WHAT THE FUCK EVER, WHO CARES. I'M GOING OUT FOR MEXICULL FOOD WITH VRISKA TOLIGHT SO WHO EVEN GIVES A SHIT ABOUT SOME TRYHARD OTHER ME.
You're so cute when you're 8eing insecure. Get more clingy a8out it why don't you, make a real spectacle out of the whole "dating a dread Serket" for prime Karkat points. And while you post and get into a few dozen flame wars with other yous, I'll 8e sure to start making a dent in the nacho appetizer you explicitly ordered for yourself!!!!!!!!
OH PLEASE AS IF I CAN'T SEE YOU TWO FEET AWAY FROM ME CHOWING DOWN ON MY SHIT. IF I REALLY WANTED TO STOP YOU, I COULD AND DON'T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT. ALSO 'DATING A DREAD SERKET'? MAYBE YOU'RE THE PERSON I NEED TO BE DIRECTING MY LASER OF MENACE AT TODAY BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LITERALLY EVER?! I GUESS I'M FLATTERED THAT THE PRINCESS BRIDE AFFECTED YOU THAT MUCH THAT YOUR PERSONALITY CLUNG ONTO IT ENOUGH TO OH I DUNNO, KIN THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS OR WHATEVER, BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO BRING THE ROLEPLAY INTO OUR RESPITE BLOCK MAYBE IT SHOULD BE A DISCUSSION FIRST? YES, GOOD, YOU'RE SEEING MY SARCASTIC GRIN FROM ACROSS THE TABLE. NOW FINGERS BACK ON YOUR OWN FUCKING GOOD- GOD YOU'D THINK YOU WERE CLOSE TO MOLT OR SOMETHING WITH HOW MUCH OF *MY* SHIT YOU EAT ALONGSIDE YOUR OWN.
and youre one of the tolerable ones, huh? xp
THOUGHT ABOUT "I CAN'T LET YOU GET CLOSE" AGAIN AND STARTED CHUCKLING UNDER MY BREATH LIKE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON WHILE SAT ON THE LOUNGEPLANK NEXT TO VRISKA.
He chits this as if this isn't completely normal unhinged 8ehavior from him!
WHAT THE FUCK
NO THAY B1TCH MADE TH1NG STOLE MY PALMHUSK 1M LOOK1NG AT 1T R1GHT NOW
1 found 1t w1th ch1ttr open on my palm husk 1 can’t make th1s sh1t up
IT'S A FUCKING PLUSH TOY OF...ME. I GUESS. IT DOESN'T JUST 'USE YOUR PALMHUSK' ITS FUCKING STUFFING AND FABRIC
1t’s a fuck1ng homunculus that just shows up and does whatever but 1n that bl1nk-and-you-m1ss sort of way. whether 1t was made of stuff1ng or grub meat, 1 don’t th1nk 1t would’ve mattered
i dunno, i think he is kind of cute and much quieter!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS FAKE AND GODLY DO YOU HAVE A WEIRD LITTLE ELF ON THE SHELF EXCEPT ITS REAL AND HAS A CHITTR ACCOUNT NOW?!
1 w1sh 1 could tell you at th1s rate. 1t showed up on my k1nda lackluster wr1ggl1ng day and hasn’t left s1nce
MY TRAINING REGIMEN HAS BEEN SHOWING RESULTS. TURNS OUT EXERCISING ACTUALLY DOES GIVE YOU MORE STAMINA AND GENERAL ENERGY AND TRUST ME- NO ONE IS MORE FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS DEVELOPMENT THAN ME.
:33 < meow :33 :33 < im glad mew have a training regiment though!! k33p it up!! :33 < if mew efurr want someone to work meowt with i can help! :33 < i gotta take it easy anyways beclaws of my bullet wound
We Are A Minority On The Site And The Least Amount We Have Dont Talk Its Pretty Tragic Karkat
:33 < yeaaaah
YOU'RE ALMOST WORKING OUT A FROWNY FACE EMOTICON FROM ME BUT IN KEEPING TO THE BRAND AND NOT ASSOCIATING MYSELF WITH ANOTHER KARKAT I'LL STAY STRONG AND RESILIENT.
OKAY SO WE JUST DON'T ELABORATE ON THAT WE JUST SAY 'HEY KARKAT BY THE WAY I WAS FUCKING SHOT' AND NOW I JUST HAVE TO HOLD THAT WITHOUT CONTEXT OKAY OKAY OKAY.
:33 < welllllll there were poachers in my woods. :33 < i had to kill them.
:33 < listen i could go on and on a expurrlain how i ended up living in the woods by meowself again on earth c and that i k33p having poachers come and kill my purrecious jungle but mewr nyot my karkitty so i mean. kinda nyot mewr purroblem!
wow, tall AND strong, huh? this is getting a little hard to imagine xp
AND WITH THUNDEROUS APLOMB, VRISKA ONCE AGAIN MANAGES TO ASSERT HERSELF IN OUR SHARED LIVING SPACE AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE SHE'S BEEN BY LEAVING A GNARLED MESS OF HAIR IN THE SHOWER DRAIN. THIS SORT OF BLATANT FUCKING ANTAGONISM WOULD DRIVE THE OLD KARKAT INTO A BITTER FUCKING FRENZY BUT...SHE'S UNDERESTIMATED ME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THIS GROSS MESS. I'M SURE HER RECUPERACOON COULD USE SOME NEW DECOR! I'M SUCH A MAGNANIMOUS FUCKING HOUSEMATE, DON'T YOU THINK?
THERE IS NO TOIL MORE FUCKING IRRITATING THAN REPLACING THE SLIME IN YOUR RECUPERACOON. THANKFULLY YOU ONLY HAVE TO DO IT ONCE EVERY HALF-SWEEP OR SO, BUT THE CLEANUP IS ALWAYS SUCH A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE.
i hope youu cann get the mess situuated with ease..
noththing like having visscouss green liquid in every possssibble crevice
surprised you dont just rent a wet vac to clear out the old slime.
DON'T WORRY! YOU'LL BE PICKING CRUSTY OLD GOO OUT OF THE CRACKS IN YOUR FLOORBOARDS FOR THE NEXT HALF A SWEEP. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!
THIS CLEARLY SHOWS YOUR IGNORANCE ON THE MATTER. SOPOR SLIME IS A SUBSTANCE MEANT TO *STICK*. IT CLINGS TO THE BODY AND THE WALLS OF THE RECUPERACOON SO THAT IT CAN PROVIDE A PROTECTIVE SEAL? YOU HAVE TO CUT INTO THAT SHIT LIKE JELLO, BREAK IT DOWN WITH A SPECIAL SOLUTION, MOVE IT ALL OUT OF THE 'CUPE, AND ONLY *THEN* CAN YOU DISPOSE OF IT PROPERLY. IF IT GOES IN A 'WET VAC' AS YOU SO IGNORANTLY FUCKING CLAIMED, IT'LL JUST STICK TO THE INSIDE OF THE WET VAC FOREVER. SOME THINGS HAVE TO BE DONE BY *HAND*, JINX. THERE ARE NO WORKAROUNDS.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i zh0u1d make my crew change ttheir 0wn inztead 0f tthe aut0mated pr0cezz i d0 f0r tthem. [END MESSAGE]
IF WE'RE DOING A FUCKING TRICKSTER THING I'M HUNKERING DOWN. THERE IS NO REALM OR REALITY WHERE I INDULGE IN YOUR CANDY-COATED COTERIE AND DEBASE MYSELF FOR ALL OF THE TIMELINE TO WINCE AT. MY DOORS ARE LOCKED, MY WINDOWS LATCHED. STAY. THE FUCK. BACK.
YOU CAN'T GET ME FROM BEHIND THE COMPUTER SCREEN, BUT DO *NOT* CALL ME YOUR 'LOVELY DESCENDANT'. FUCKING YUCK. I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, NO MATTER WHETHER YOU'RE SPORTING A SUGAR RUSH OR NOT.
YOU ARE THE SINGLE MOST VISCERALLY CRINGE AND EMBARRASSING FUCKER I'VE EVER MET. WE ALIGN ON BASICALLY NOTHING, HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT, AND I FIND HOW MUCH YOU LOOK LIKE ME BUT TO THE LEFT DISTURBINGLY OFFENSIVE TO MY GANDERBULBS. I WAS HOPING TO SPARE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT IT, BUT HEY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO ASK DIRECTLY!
DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU EXEMPT FROM MY SCORN? DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH. THE VANTAS LINE IS PERHAPS MOST UNDEFENDED FROM THE LASER CONCENTRATED BORE OF MY HATE.
i am curling up around you and growling at any tricksters! they can hang out once they come down >:c
THIS FEED IS A FUCKING MESS.
Isn't It Always? –xoxo
IT IS, BUT SOMETIMES ITS EVEN MORE OF A MESS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WATCH TWO OF YOUR ALT-SELVES (I FUCKING GUESS) CLUMSILY FLIRT WHILE YOUR ANCESTOR FUMBLES AROUND BLUSHING LIKE AN ANIME BOY. AND THROUGH ALL OF THAT, YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY AND KEEP YOUR BREAKFAST DOWN AT THE DISGUST IT BRINGS UP IN YOU.
LIKE AN ANIME 69Y?!??!?!??!
I Don't See Anything Wrong With Some Self Love –xoxo
THERE'S SELF LOVE THEN THERE'S WHATEVER HEINOUS, MASTURBATORY SHIT THAT THEY'RE DOING. #NSFW #ISH??
Self Love Comes In Many Forms. Including #selfcest –xoxo
OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M SO TIRED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?! A DECENT NIGHT'S REST AND I FEEL AS THOUGH I JUST STAYED UP THE ENTIRE TIME?! UGH. I'LL JUST SHOWER, EAT AND THEN GO BACK TO MY RECUPERACOON FOR A FEW HOURS.
what did you eat? :o
YOU THOUGHT ME GONE. YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD SILENT. GROUND INTO MULCH UNDER THE HEEL OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES TO THE TIME ASSHOLE MAFIA. THAT I HAD LEFT MY THRONE, THE ONE I CARVED OUT OF THE RAW, PRIMORDIAL SHITSLUDGE OF THIS UNCULTURED WEBSITE WITH MY TEETH, CLAWS, AND GODTIER TASTE IN ROMANTIC CINEMA, TO COLLECT DUST, COBWEBS, WINGBEAST SHIT, AND LIMESCALE. WELL GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLES. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. IT'S BACK. IT'S FUCKING BACK. AND THIS TIME, IT'S HERE TO STAY. STARTING 7/8, THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB IS BACK. THE BEST ROMANCES, ROMANCE-ADJACENT FLICKS, AND BARELY JUSTIFIABLE AS ROMANCE CINEMASLOP THAT I'M CAPABLE OF STREAMING FROM THE MOON WHILE I'M ON A VERY LONG SMOKE BREAK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE JOINED ME IN MY PERSONAL CINEMANIA RUMPUS ROOM BEFORE, YOU'LL NOTICE A FEW NEW PERKS FOR NEW MEMBERS AND OLD ALIKE, JUST BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAGNANIMOUS PIECE OF SHIT. THEY INCLUDE: - REGULAR SHOWTIMES. EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT 7 PM PST [PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME]. NO MORE MUCKING ABOUT, CARVING X'S INTO YOUR CALENDAR, WONDERING IF IT'S GOING TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN THIS WIPE AND WHEN. WE'RE LOCK FUCKING STEP, THIS TIME (I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SAY "FUCK IT" AND EITHER SKIP A DAY OR HAND IT OFF TO ONE OF MY TRUSTED LIEUTENANTS. THIS IS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE LEADERSHIP CONCESSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT). - ABCC MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS S-LIST. IN OTHER WORDS, PRIORITY REGISTRATION. SOME OF YOU (AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS) GET THE EXORBITANT FUCKING LUXURY OF A GUARANTEED SPOT ON EITHER DAY, SO LONG AS YOU RSVP IN ADVANCE A COUPLE OF DAYS. THE STUPID VIRTUALBLOCKS ONLY HOLD TWELVE PEOPLE AT A TIME (HUH. WONDER WHY IT'S THAT NUMBER, SPECIFICALLY. SOMETHING NOSTALGIC AND FUCKED UP ABOUT IT), SO SPOTS TEND TO FILL UP FAST. ENJOY NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THAT PEDANTIC BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN. - #SUBSTANCE NIGHT. YES, YOU HEARD ME. SINCE WE'RE SHOWING THE SAME MOVIE BOTH NIGHTS, FEEL FREE TO PULL UP ON FRIDAY AND (OPTIONALLY, OPTIONALLY, CANNOT FUCKING STRESS THIS ENOUGH, *OPTIONALLY*, PEER PRESSURE WILL BE MET WITH THE SWIFTED DOWNFALL OF MY MIGHTY BANSICKLE IMAGINABLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE (OR A WARM ONE, IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF LAZY, UNWASHED CHUD WHO JUST KEEPS THEM UNDER YOUR FUCKING WORKPLANK, OR SOMETHING) AND COME BE A MESSY DUMBFUCK REPROBATE WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRLINGS. IT'S BYOB. BRING YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. FUCK AROUND RESPONSIBLY. - THE SUGGESTION BOX. YUP. THAT'S RIGHT. NOW YOU, TOO, CAN PRETEND TO HAVE TASTE IN MOVIES THAT'S ONE STEP ABOVE A WIGGLER WATCHING KEYS JINGLE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE. THROW A MOVIE INTO THE HOPPER AND WATCH IT COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE WHEN IT'S TIME TO SCRAPE THE CRUST OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. OR IMPRESS ME, IF YOU'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD PICK. YOU CAN SUBMIT A MOVIE HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. AND THE FEATURE I'M PROUDEST OF. - GHASTLY MIST TIME [GMT]/BILIOUS STANDARD TIME [BST] SHOWTIMES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU'VE HAD THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF MISSING OUT ON STREAMS AND OTHER LIVE EVENTS BECAUSE YOUR TIMELINEZONE IS NESTLED SQUARELY BETWEEN THE WORDS "FUCK" AND "YOU," THEN BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. THE GOATED SON OF A BITCH HIMSELF. THE CINEMATIC BALL-KNOWER. THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE, #carcinoGeneticist#2443 IS GOING TO HELP ME ORGANIZE SHOWTIMES FOR EVERYONE ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE. AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY ME. TIME AND DATE FOR THAT WILL BE COMING SOON, SO JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS AND DON'T GET ON EITHER OF OUR ASSES ABOUT IT. YOU'VE WAITED THIS LONG, YOU'LL BE FINE. SO COME. COME ONE, COME ALL, COME GET A FACEFUL OF BLISTERING HOT ABSOLUTE CINEMA DOWN AT #ABCC'S NEXT #WATCHPARTY. WE'LL BE JUMPSTARTING THIS FLY-RIDDEN CORPSE WITH A CLASSIC ANIMATED ROMANCE TOMORROW THAT MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH. HAVE FUN WITH IT. THEY WON'T ALL BE THIS EASY. SEE YOU THERE, FUCKWITS. #GETIN.
Oh! How delightful! II'd love two attend.
motnerfucker i already put my snit ih
I'M GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU, ROSE. IF YOU CAN MAKE LITERALLY THE MOST ROUNDABOUT, UNNECESSARILY CONVOLUTED RUBE FUCKING GOLDBERG OF A JUSTIFICATION WHY A MOVIE COULD BE EVEN *REMOTELY* CONSIDERED "ROMANTIC," IT GETS IN AUTOMATICALLY. BUT WE'RE ALSO JUST GOING TO HAVE SOME WILDCARD WIPES, SO IT'S NOT LIKE IT FUCKING MATTERS. THIS IS JUST ABOUT SATISFYING MY BRAND.
࣪⊹₊˚{ LETSSSS FOURKING GOOOO! \}*7*{/ #imcoming #imgettingin #imgettingafaceful #IMTHEREEEE }˚₊⊹ ࣪
I'll bide my time to make suggestions.
YES. YOU HEARD IT ALL RIGHT. IN FACT, I KARKAT VANTAS FROM UNIVERSE 2443, WILL BE HOSTING THE ABCC IN GHASTLY MIST/ BILIOUS STANDARD TIME. IT IS AN HONOUR TO TAKE THE WHEEL WHILE THE REST OF YOU NOT SITUATED IN BETWEEN THE "FUCK AND YOU" AS HE SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT ARE SOUNDLY SLEEPING. WE PUT TOGETHER A FRICTIONLESS SUBMISSIONS BOX TOO SO GET YOUR RECS IN. THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME, MAN. THIS IS GOING TO BE *INCREDIBLY* ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.
YES. HELL YES. HELL. FUCKING. *YES.*
Very e⚔cited.
:33< yesss yess yesss!!! :33< can't wait:33
FUCK YEAH!!!!! i will absolutely be there...on fridays (|:p pretty much wont be making any suggestions cause i dont watch movies outside of this but i will always be down for whatever peak cinema you guys throw at me!!
I CAN'T IMAGINE HAVING SO LITTLE TO DO IN MY DAY TO DAY LIFE THAT I GIVE ENOUGH OF A SHIT TO CALL OUT WHEN SOMEONE'S BLOCKED ME ON CHITTR.ING. DO YOU NOT FEEL EXTREMELY JUVENILE? IT'S SOME BARE BONES "WE ARE WRIGGLERS ONCE MORE" MUPPET BABIES BULLSHIT. IT JUST MAKES SAD FOR THEM IN ALL HONESTY.
some pe0ple are sensitive ig.
IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER, THOUGH. WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT SOME DOUCHEBAG ON CHITTR THINKS? IF THEY BLOCK YOU, THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU, OH WELL. IT'S REALLY A NON ISSUE
i agree w you im just saying.
GOD, SOME OF YOU ARE SO FUCKING DESPERATE IT MAKES MY GANDERBULBS BLEED.
:33 < its mewr fault somehow
GOD FORBID I GROW TIRED OF YOUR POSTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CRAWL INTO *MY* FUCKING REPLIES WITH THE SAME TIRED SHIT YOU KEEP POSTING ON YOUR MAIN FEED.
:33 < me neither!! :33 < i bit of each i suppawse :33c