♣ mediated by @carcinoGeneticist
YOU THOUGHT ME GONE. YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD SILENT. GROUND INTO MULCH UNDER THE HEEL OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES TO THE TIME ASSHOLE MAFIA. THAT I HAD LEFT MY THRONE, THE ONE I CARVED OUT OF THE RAW, PRIMORDIAL SHITSLUDGE OF THIS UNCULTURED WEBSITE WITH MY TEETH, CLAWS, AND GODTIER TASTE IN ROMANTIC CINEMA, TO COLLECT DUST, COBWEBS, WINGBEAST SHIT, AND LIMESCALE. WELL GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLES. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. IT'S BACK. IT'S FUCKING BACK. AND THIS TIME, IT'S HERE TO STAY. STARTING 7/8, THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB IS BACK. THE BEST ROMANCES, ROMANCE-ADJACENT FLICKS, AND BARELY JUSTIFIABLE AS ROMANCE CINEMASLOP THAT I'M CAPABLE OF STREAMING FROM THE MOON WHILE I'M ON A VERY LONG SMOKE BREAK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE JOINED ME IN MY PERSONAL CINEMANIA RUMPUS ROOM BEFORE, YOU'LL NOTICE A FEW NEW PERKS FOR NEW MEMBERS AND OLD ALIKE, JUST BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAGNANIMOUS PIECE OF SHIT. THEY INCLUDE: - REGULAR SHOWTIMES. EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT 7 PM PST [PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME]. NO MORE MUCKING ABOUT, CARVING X'S INTO YOUR CALENDAR, WONDERING IF IT'S GOING TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN THIS WIPE AND WHEN. WE'RE LOCK FUCKING STEP, THIS TIME (I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SAY "FUCK IT" AND EITHER SKIP A DAY OR HAND IT OFF TO ONE OF MY TRUSTED LIEUTENANTS. THIS IS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE LEADERSHIP CONCESSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT). - ABCC MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS S-LIST. IN OTHER WORDS, PRIORITY REGISTRATION. SOME OF YOU (AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS) GET THE EXORBITANT FUCKING LUXURY OF A GUARANTEED SPOT ON EITHER DAY, SO LONG AS YOU RSVP IN ADVANCE A COUPLE OF DAYS. THE STUPID VIRTUALBLOCKS ONLY HOLD TWELVE PEOPLE AT A TIME (HUH. WONDER WHY IT'S THAT NUMBER, SPECIFICALLY. SOMETHING NOSTALGIC AND FUCKED UP ABOUT IT), SO SPOTS TEND TO FILL UP FAST. ENJOY NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THAT PEDANTIC BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN. - #SUBSTANCE NIGHT. YES, YOU HEARD ME. SINCE WE'RE SHOWING THE SAME MOVIE BOTH NIGHTS, FEEL FREE TO PULL UP ON FRIDAY AND (OPTIONALLY, OPTIONALLY, CANNOT FUCKING STRESS THIS ENOUGH, *OPTIONALLY*, PEER PRESSURE WILL BE MET WITH THE SWIFTED DOWNFALL OF MY MIGHTY BANSICKLE IMAGINABLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE (OR A WARM ONE, IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF LAZY, UNWASHED CHUD WHO JUST KEEPS THEM UNDER YOUR FUCKING WORKPLANK, OR SOMETHING) AND COME BE A MESSY DUMBFUCK REPROBATE WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRLINGS. IT'S BYOB. BRING YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. FUCK AROUND RESPONSIBLY. - THE SUGGESTION BOX. YUP. THAT'S RIGHT. NOW YOU, TOO, CAN PRETEND TO HAVE TASTE IN MOVIES THAT'S ONE STEP ABOVE A WIGGLER WATCHING KEYS JINGLE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE. THROW A MOVIE INTO THE HOPPER AND WATCH IT COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE WHEN IT'S TIME TO SCRAPE THE CRUST OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. OR IMPRESS ME, IF YOU'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD PICK. YOU CAN SUBMIT A MOVIE HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. AND THE FEATURE I'M PROUDEST OF. - GHASTLY MIST TIME [GMT]/BILIOUS STANDARD TIME [BST] SHOWTIMES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU'VE HAD THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF MISSING OUT ON STREAMS AND OTHER LIVE EVENTS BECAUSE YOUR TIMELINEZONE IS NESTLED SQUARELY BETWEEN THE WORDS "FUCK" AND "YOU," THEN BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. THE GOATED SON OF A BITCH HIMSELF. THE CINEMATIC BALL-KNOWER. THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE, #carcinoGeneticist#2443 IS GOING TO HELP ME ORGANIZE SHOWTIMES FOR EVERYONE ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE. AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY ME. TIME AND DATE FOR THAT WILL BE COMING SOON, SO JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS AND DON'T GET ON EITHER OF OUR ASSES ABOUT IT. YOU'VE WAITED THIS LONG, YOU'LL BE FINE. SO COME. COME ONE, COME ALL, COME GET A FACEFUL OF BLISTERING HOT ABSOLUTE CINEMA DOWN AT #ABCC'S NEXT #WATCHPARTY. WE'LL BE JUMPSTARTING THIS FLY-RIDDEN CORPSE WITH A CLASSIC ANIMATED ROMANCE TOMORROW THAT MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH. HAVE FUN WITH IT. THEY WON'T ALL BE THIS EASY. SEE YOU THERE, FUCKWITS. #GETIN.
karkat be nice >:c they are just expressing themselves! although obviously youre not talking about me ;p
:33 < me neither!! :33 < i bit of each i suppawse :33c
I can't let you get close.
~~~dude, i can't stQp laughin'.~~~ https://i.imgflip.cQm/5lkagQ.gif
youre telling me kid.
Karkat is trying to KILL ME with these fucking fish sticks!!!!!!!!
A8solutely devest8ing pull there, Tavros. True to life!!!!!!!! You outdid yourself here.
Shhhhhhhhut up. It's awesome. I fucking h8 it 8ut it also rules.
I can't 8elieve I missed that you SPORED ME????????
YEAH TAVROS HOUR!!!!!!!!
So it turns out that grey frosting doesn't actually look that nice? Would never have expected that! Definitely 8etter than the red I specifically REQUESTED not 8e used, though. ::::/
You didn't SCARE me, you were just so voracious I started to wonder my hair was going to end up 8eing vacuumed up into your gaping maw and start a ridiculous series of events culmin8ing in some kind of meat-fueled com8in8ion heimlich and suplex maneuver. Plus those w8ers were totally annoyed with how much of #yourslop they had to carve and cart out. You don't get to deny their mild irrit8ion. We all saw it!!!!!!!!
Just a couple of 8esties rocking out to a fantastic and not at all off key shanty!!!!!!!! Yep!
Aw man, the monk died???????? I guess that's old humans for ya. #pentiment
What? No. Not even remotely.
Woooooooow, what a loser!!!!!!!! #vagueposting
wELL FUCK YOU TOO, mAN,
mAYBE i AM GLAD, hIS GRAPHOMETRIC WARP DRIVE, iS BROKEN,,,
Wow. Fuck. Need a breakfast burrito.
I'll get the gas cans!!!!!!!!
I'M GOING TO CLOSE UP THE EVIDENTLY *GUSHING* TAP OF TORRENTIAL, PUSHERFELT *SAP* I'VE BEEN DISPENSING ALL DAY WITH THIS CHITT, JUST TO SAY ONE MORE TIME BEFORE I CRAWL INTO MY CUPE AND DROWN MYSELF FACE-FIRST IN SOPOR. THANKS, EVERYONE. @caligulasAquarium. @gutsyGumshoe. @lejayjaY. @arachnidsGrip#9137. @arsenicCatnaps. @bummelBoogie. @pliableDecadence. @centaursPeripherals. SAME FUCKING GUY, @carcinoGeneticist#4881. AND YES, EVEN MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS COWORKERS, @taciturnTerror AND @handMaid. AND OBVIOUSLY MORE OF YOU, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DREDGE UP EVERY SINGLE FUCKWIT WHO SAID FOUR WORDS TO ME, TODAY. BUT SOME OF YOU WENT OUT ON A FROND AND MADE AN EFFORT. AND THAT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING, WHEN YOU'RE THIS FAR OUT FROM THE DAMN SPAWN POINT. I HAVE TO ADMIT IT. IT'S BEEN A GOOD WRIGGLING DAY. I THINK I'LL REMEMBER THIS ONE. "SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT."
THIRTEEN SWEEPS, PAINSTAKINGLY STACKED ATOP THE OTHER, SURVIVED ONE BRUTAL BILUNAR PERIGEE AT A TIME. HALF OF THEM ON A PLANET I WAKE UP AND GIVE THE FAT, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB TO EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND THE REST ON A DUMPSTER FIRE OF A WORLD OF MY OWN "CREATION." ONLY SOME OF THEM I WAS REALLY, TRULY PRESENT FOR. THREE *THOUSAND* SWEEPS SPENT IN AN INESCAPABLE TORMENT NEXUS MEANT TO SAND DOWN ANY PROPRIETARY CONCEPT OF TIME I EVER HAD. WHICH I ESCAPED, ANYWAY. BUT NOT BEFORE IT SMOOTHED SOME OF THE HARD, JAGGED EDGES, TRY AS I MIGHT TO SHARPEN THEM BACK TO GANDERBULB-STABBING AND SPONGECASE-BLUDGEONING LETHAL FORCE. AND AS IF I COULDN'T PUSH THE INCREDULITY OF MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS NARRATIVE ANY FURTHER, TWELVE SWEEPS AFTER THAT, IN A FAR-FLUNG PAST SO STUPID THAT IT'S LEFT INDELIBLE MARKS ON MY VOCABULARY. AND SOME UNCOMFORTABLE SKILLS TO ADMIT ARE CURRENTLY PADDING OUT MY RESUME. A FAT, MALIGNANT PILE OF GREASY BLACK TRASH BAGS IN THE RUSTING DUMPSTER OF MY PERSONAL HISTORY, BOILING IN THE OPEN SUN AS THE LOOMING MONOLITH TO MY EVERY GRUELING SWEEP OF MERCILESS LIFE DARKENS THE FUCKING SKY. SO AT THIS POINT? FUCK IT. WHAT'S ONE MORE? #WRIGGLINGDAY. (AND BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, I'M STILL IN THE FUCKING FELT MANOR. THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN *HEAVILY* DOCTORTURED TO RESEMBLE ANYTHING CLOSE TO EARTH-C'S NATURAL DAYLIGHT. BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE ANY MORE FUCKING GREEN. I DECIDED I WANTED TO LOOK O.G., TODAY.)
Veeeeeeeery funny, Sollux! Really gr8! Hilarious. 8ut seriously, it's a shower gel that's in the a8lution 8lock here. I 8ought another container of it so Karkat wouldn't notice I'd used everything up during his molt!
Oh w8. Hahahahahahahaha. OKAY, okay, w8, you got me.
SMELLING LIKE VANILLA IS WORSE????????
I don't smell like old caegars, I smell like "Sticky D8s."
Once I can peel myself away from this screen to go stare at a 8igger one for an hour or so, I'll pro8a8ly have a movie review to post.
SERKET REVIEWS: PROJECT ZOM8OID 8y THE INDIE STONE For my first installment of reviews, I chose to start playing a game in Karkat’s li8rary that had 8arely seen even an hour of playtime. At time of writing, I’ve gone WELL over the two hour threshold for refunds. Hopefully Karkat doesn’t mind, 8ecause I can tell this is going to 8e a game that sucks me in! Instead of 8eing the typical d8ting sim, lifestyle sim, or occasional looter shooter that is common to his li8rary, this game is user-descri8ed as an open world survival sim. I chose to dive into it without much research, and ignored the multiplayer function to 8etter immerse myself in the survival mechanics. This was the o8vious correct choice. The game opens to a haunting screen of a man cradling his m8tesprit closely, clearly attempting to comfort her as she is 8andaged and injured in the splash art. There’s a swell of dramatic music, and then thunder claps, lightning flashes, and you see the gruesome truth of the scene revealed as an ela8or8te ruse!!!!!!!! The man is ACTUALLY tearing at the flesh of his lifeless partner, who has yet to rise in undeath to join him in eternal hunger. That is essentially the entire tone of this game. You may not realize it, looking at the cute trash-gru88er8east mascot, 8ut dreariness and loneliness are the main experience, 8eyond the dread of the undead hordes slowly closing in around you. Zom8oid is a game that promises to punish the slightest misstep, and such punishment can very quickly send you into a tailspin of utter desol8tion. My first attempt at the game (post the ro8ust and informative tutorial, of course) was thwarted 8y a 8roken window lock! Had I 8een a8le to pull open the window to make my escape, I likely would have lasted several more in-game days. As it was, I was forced to start over and try again, this time a touch more cautiously. The first area where real mistakes can 8e made are in the character cre8tor screen. There’s a ton of options for how to kneecap your character from the get go, ranging from things to challenge yourself with, and work around, such as 8eing underweight or hard of hearing, all the way to the truly formida8le illiteracy tr8t, which makes it completely impossi8le to 8oost level growth 8y reading skill manuals. If you choose to 8e illter8te, and don’t know how to oper8 generators, you’re shit out of luck when the power goes out! 8etter hope you like to camp!!!!!!!! Taking positive attri8utes su8tracts points from your character sheet, while taking negatives adds them 8ack. I think it is a very 8alanced system that challenges you to take weaknesses that you can grow your character out of, such as 8eing unfit, overweight, or overall weak. Practicing fitness routines while not escaping from zom8ie assaults will eventually pay off, as you gain muscle and agility, just like real life! Food and rest are also required, much like real life. The nutritional system is fairly ro8ust, 8ut pretty punishing, though it does do an incredi8le jo8 of accounting for physical exertion for food and sleep needs. Your character can also 8ecome 8ored, or even depressed, which means a variety of food and entertainment experiences (such as 8ooks or tv shows) are required to stave off the inner demons of the zom8iod apocalypse. It’s rare to see a survival simul8tion take into account the needs of the mind and soul as well as the needs of the 8ody! There’s also a very ela8or8te crafting system, including the possi8ility to craft your own hive from scratch, crafting weapons and gear, and repairing or cr8ting your very own clothing and armor to fend off the hordes with. Each of these systems dovetail together to make an awesomely in depth and challenging game that somehow doesn’t start to feel like an organiz8tion sim until you’ve 8een playing the same save for several nights str8! As for gameplay, there are myriads of options to customize and tailor the experience to your desires. If you’re more interested in a relaxed approach, may8e a focus on the ranching and farming portions of the gameplay loop would 8e more your speed. If you find yourself a god among zom8oid slayers, perhaps you’d prefer to try the challenge options? And, like I mentioned 8efore, there IS a solid multiplayer 8ase out there, though I haven’t personally delved into that area of play yet. All in all, a solid 8/10. There are still game 8r8king 8ugs to 8e found AAAAAAAAALL over the place, which is crazy for a game that’s 8een in development for 6.9 sweeps! That’s 15 years for you humans out there, 8tw. Appar8ntly someone even stole the hard drive that had the early game stored on it, forcing them to start over completely once. Crazy stuff! 8eyond a little 8it of gameplay jank, there’s not much I feel compelled to complain a8out with this title, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to play solo survival games with huge maps and challenging scenarios. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/037caf4ea2c2.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f9f16c7a888c.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/66acc553d388.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3aa94372518d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/38c1d94ea15d.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/44618803912e.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/37287d796296.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6da84e0e119a.png #serketreviews #nsfw #gore
Hey everyone! I guess you'll have heard it here first. @carcinoGeneticist#4881 has finally started his molt, which means he's going to 8e off chittr for a 8it! This means instead of getting fresh food reviews, you'll have to get your fix for a random "Creator's" opinion from another source........ me! That's right! I'm going to 8e spending this 8ORING AS HELL molt diving horns first into his dusty human game collection, as well as tackling a few rom-coms that we haven't had a chance to watch together. Watch this space, as they say! It'll 8e under the tag #SerketReviews !
"Together" with Dave Franco and Alison 8rie. You'll love it, I super promise!!!!!!!!
8oy do I have the fucked up human movie for you!
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/523e7508f7c5.jpg Heeeeeeeey Karkat.
8tw those were literally all reacts from him.
CLOSING STATEMENT! my business card is in pinned bye
OBJECTION! i will entertain honestly most stupid bullshit. PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! though of course if you would like to launch a countersuit, i know a guy,
It isn't a8out the activity or the tea itself, its a8out the care put into it! 8ut fine, as I was tempted to st8 8efore, just show us the depths of your xenopho8ic misunderstanding of trollmance.
Usual culprit, usual crime!!!!!!!!
Earth C RPF is crazy work. Craaaaaaaazy! Are there secret ca8als of cat girls still writing friendfiction?
Someone needs to take her internet away for like, 8 nights. #vagueposting
Cullver's sounds SO good right now!
Tf do you mean "show up," I've 8een here????????
Oh. Cool! Okay, I need to order some more groceries........
D8ting outside your consumption range is hard! Tf do you mean I have to think of three square meals PLUS two snacks to have at hive now????????
Pentiment was recommended, 8ut I've 8een looking at this "Project Zom8oid" game too. Lots to deli8er8te a8out! Unless someone has a suggestion?
Okay, so I promised I'd engage with some media and put reviews up regarding what I played or watched. Now I just have to pick something........
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! #ChanceEncounterAtWholeFoodsMarket
Why did I have to go there AT THE EXACT SAME TIME???????? #ChanceEncounterAtWholeFoodsMarket
its a screamin into my toolbox to get my thinkpan to stop YELLING AT ME kinda day ya know
Then you definitely got this. I hope your molt goes smoothly even if it is going to suck.
Oh yes, 8ecause of all trolls, Vriska Serket is the one that's the most str8tforward! Come on. I know you've got your 8ias against me, 8ut you shouldn't act stupid a8out things just 8ecause you platonically h8 me.
Aw hey Sollux! Long time no talk! Or see, for that matter. Yeah, things got kind of serious a 8it ago? There's not a huge amount to talk a8out, aside from when apparently Karkat hosted a movie night and got a little heated with Damara???????? Anyway, we've 8een living together for a while now, and that whole threat situ8tion pushed my 8uttons all sorts of wrong, and now we're here! D8ting. Hopefully that clears things up! In retrospect, it's pro8a8ly WAY overdue. I mean, I'll 8e real, I did have a little crush 8ack when we were 8arely more than wigglers, 8ut from what I can tell, we all did. I guess there's just something a8out that shouting that drives trolls wild. Hopefully you can forgive a girl for swooping in while the swooping was good........ you aren't trying to indic8te jealousy here, right?
And I'll never see you again if I can help it #lyricposting
8ut since you 8een gone I can 8reathe for the first time I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah Thanks to you Now I get, I get what I want Since you 8een gone #LYRICPOSTING
You had your chance, you 8lew it Out of sight, out of mind Shut your mouth, I just can't take it Again and again and again and again #MORELYRICSPOSTING #TAKETHEFUCKINGHINT
I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We got some straightening out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their 8lanket 8ut I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to 8e a 8ig girl now And 8ig girls don't cry Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry #lyricposting
I can't respond to that. I can't. I CAN'T.
https://open.spotify.com/track/7D7NvMKZdl3o9dT8K8f6c8?si=208ef69817e0475c
He went to sleep a while ago, 8ut I can't seem to get my pan to rest. I'm resisting the tempt8tion to start posting on here like it's a journal, 8ut I know 8etter than to give any of you rowdy animals fodder. You earn the right to put any of my own #serketposting into your spank 8ank, I don't just hand it over. Still........ there's just something incredi8ly reassuring a8out touching a 8ody that solid. May8e I'm into that? I've never really considered it much when I'm attracted to a woman, so it's just one od those weird quirks that you have to monitor carefully lest it 8ecome a full 8lown kink. ::::I #suggestive #nsfw #Justto8esafe
Ok, I can 8egrudgingly give you that point.
And what is THAT supposed to mean????????
Tonight, dear reader, is not one of those nights. O8viously!!!!!!!!
One of these nights will 8e a normal, no frills, possi8ly even 8ORING night instead of a full tilt SELF-DISCOVERY ADVENTURE. FUCK!!!!!!!!
Oh, I guess the roomm8 is up and reading my chits like it's the evening news. Hiiiiiiii Karkat.
My hair started growing, my face 8ecame yours My femur was 8reaking in half The sensation was scissors and too much to scream So instead I just started to laugh #lyricsposting
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from the Nawashii era: Shortly after his dismissal from the realm of Grubuki theatre, the once again-titleless Uesugi Karkat sought to invest his amassed wealth. He was known for being particularly preoccupied with the sciences — specifically, horology, chronology, and astronomy. Though he was a deeply private person, he was known for being eminently fixated on the movements and arithmetic of the Green Moon. Some of his studies involved tracking its lunar phases, cataloging previous celestial events, and learning to predict the path that the moons would take in the future. However, this was still not enough to turn his liquid capital into stable assets. One day, a peasant girl from a distant, rural village appeared in the city, pleading for aid from anyone who would heed her. A vicious band of mountain bandits had been terrorizing her village and reaping its resources to the brink of collapse. However, no matter how many mercenaries and samuraisolators she petitioned for help, none came to her aid. When Uesugi Karkat encountered her by chance, it is said that he was seized with a sudden and immediate purpose, as if the recognition of her face alone were sufficient to declare his support. Furthermore, the Mikkaddo who had inadvertently led to the former Grubuki actor's disgrace was so deeply moved by this act of passion that he declared his support as well. By pledging his retainers, his allies, and his crosshairs to the cause, the Mikkaddo set out to help Uesugi Karkat prepare the village's defenses before the bandits' next raid, and in doing so, forged a moiraillegiance with the would-be rebel leader of such wholesome magnitude that its pale reverberations would be felt through time. Gone were Uesugi Karkat's demure robes. His lacquerware hair descramblers and false theatre horns were cast aside for armor and weaponry. Rather than wielding a sword or the era's rapidly developing firearms, the Nobushii chose to wield a simple, bespoke sickle of custom, apparently "nostalgic" design. As a gift from the Mikkaddo, it was forged by his personal weaponsmiths and equipped with a weighted chain concurrent with the sickle-based weaponry of the time. This weapon, whose name is translated into contemporary Alternian as "the See you Later, Dear Brother," is among the artifacts kept on display at the Uesugi Karkat Historical Preservation Foundation. After emptying his coffers to hire several capable warriors and miscreants found around the region, the Nobushii led a team of twelve total trolls to rally the villagers and fend off the mountain bandits. The battle was long, bloody, and deeply dramatic — likely because a former Grubuki actor had absolutely no way of being "normal" and "mundane" during any sort of armed conflict. This, however, would be the event to forge the moiraillegiance between Uesugi Karkat and the violetblooded Mikkaddo into an unbreakable blade of pure, pale dedication beyond all question of fidelity. When the battle concluded and the bandits were repelled, the village became an important hub of operations for the Nobushii and his small, eclectic warband. Though they would later separate and go their own ways, several of them — including the oliveblooded NEKOJITA and the bronzeblooded TOGYUSHI — remained together, unified by mutual beliefs in freedom and opposition of Imperial hegemony. The Mikkaddo, however, would later be seduced into the employ of a powerful East Alternian heiress, culminating in a conflict that would define the future of the East Alternian Restoration era and the enduring legacy of Uesugi Karkat, whose next title, the SHIKIKAN, would be his last. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9fd47e8259d7.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3b53fcf8c9d8.png #uesugikarkat
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from the Onnagata era: The Pre-Restoration Troll Edo period of East Alternia was marked by rising agitation against global Imperial rule. This rising sentiment of rebellion (believed by many to be directly affected by rising rebellious philosophy begun in the West, though it is the view of this Foundation that such a political response was merely an emergent school of thought from a coincidental, equifinal era) surfaced in the culture of Grabuki theater through bold stories of rebellious, lowblooded heroes stirring unrest against what they saw as an oppressive regime. Such figures were often depicted under the restrictions of "hojojutsu," the method of rope-binding by which prisoners were publicly bound in such a way as to inflict pain, denote the manner of the crime, and ultimately humiliate the bound captive. This painful method needed to be adapted for the theater so as to present its actors in similarly degrading circumstances without rendering their prongs numb. Thus, the noble art of Shibari was hatched. A noble art that Uesugi Karkat, by way of learning from the various stagehands and Jadeblooded costume designers of the time, came to master. Behind the scenes, the famous Onnagata took on a more private persona. As the NAWASHII, Uesugi Karkat lived his stagely praxis by practicing his knotwork on his fellow actors — especially when they were unruly, poor in performance, or dared to question his taste in romantic poetry. So severe was his ire when spoken through the language of ropework that even trolls who believed themselves to be of likely higher caste than the hemoanonymous Onnagata surrendered to the chance to be bound so deftly. Shibari itself is, of course, a complex language. The arrangement of the knotwork can symbolize the nature of the captive's offense, the identity and status of the captor, the nature of the humiliation waiting for them, and even imbued emotion from the rope-master. It is in this language that the Nawashii also considered himself a romantic poet, and in doing so transcribed the rageful monologue for which he was renowned, the Akkuttai, into a shibari form that purportedly could only be experienced to be understood. Unfortunately, it could not last. The Nawashii's secret practice was eventually discovered when a wealthy seadweller of violet caste called the MIKKADDO, who wanted to see the Akkuttai for himself, drew unnecessary attention to this clandestine taboo. The famed Onnagata was forced to step down from his position at the Grabuki theater by the Mikkaddo's jealous kismesis, leaving Uesugi Karkat with a vast fortune amassed during his lengthy entertainment career, but no immediate future prospects. This aimlessness, however, is what would lead him to meander into a wholly new occupation — the NOBUSHII — and a militant style of leadership for which he would eventually be chiefly known. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/011ed0849dc2.png #nsfw #suggestive #uesugikarkat
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from his courtesan era: The life of a courtesan had educated the Akatsuki in language, poetry, refinement, and performance before a small audience. The next chapter of his life would prepare him to perform in front of a large one. Chosen for youth, beauty, and the type of androgynous features that can be easily slanted towards femininity with a little cosmetic prestidigitation, the life of an ONNAGATA — a Grubuki actor who plays predominantly feminine roles — afforded the troll who would become Uesugi Karkat tremendous fame, recognition, and inordinate wealth for a commoner of foreign hatching. As a former Boiran, the Onnagata had already learned how to wear the feminine grace of a courtesan like a costume in the theater of the Trollshiwara red light district. It was for this reason that he was scouted to play one of the most prestigious roles in any Grubuki play — the leading female role of Aggaei Makkie in the play "The Florastalk of Troll Edo" — for which the character, a commanding, fiercely loyal, and deeply passionate high-ranking courtesan, spurns a wealthy, but abusive highblood customer to protect her quadmate in one of the most famous monologues of scathing, acerbic, pitch-black venom ever recited in Grubuki theatre — the AKKUTTAI. It was for channeling this performance with such peerless vitriol that Uesugi Karkat became one of the most famous Onnagatas of the Troll Edo period. Naturally, the life of a Grubuki actor means constant pressure. Rehearsal, training, perfection of one's craft. Many onnagata of the time preferred to live their craft vicariously at all times, adopting a female persona through which to hone their "method" in everyday life. This was not the case for Uesugi Karkat, who shed his many-colored persona when off the stage to don nondescript gray robes whenever possible. Yet the constant pressure of life in a Grubuki theatre troupe and his ability to navigate it with grace made him both a leader among his fellow actors and something of a popular figure with the stagehands who he commiserated with in the wings. It was from these stagehands, many of whom were well-versed in the art of securing props with ropes, fastening theatrical rigging, and tying elaborate, functional knots, that the famed Onnagata would learn one final skill from the world of the theatre — one that would lead to his secret life as the NAWASHII. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ee6014bb70e8.png #uesugikarkat
We're in talks to have him formally recognized as The Casanova. It's a gr8 title that's only ever used for the most am8itious of quadrant pursuers! Fortun8tely for us all, Karkat seems to 8e willing to 8ear the yoke of that responsi8ility. Everyone say thank you Karkat!!!!!!!!
Let's not get too h8sty here, I think there might 8e some room for you to 8acktrack and NOT sound like you're threatening my........ Fuck it, it's an open secret at this point, my 8oyfriend. Not a gr8 look to 8e pulling out a rifle when a guy's just saying his piece! Trust me, I know a lot a8out looking 8ad when someone's just speaking their mind. A loooooooot. Don't join me on the side of 8eing the evil version of yourself already!
Just saw a guy become a lotus flower. I didn't know you could do that.
i am!!! (|:D besides...all that HOPE YOU ARE TO!!!
karkat you gotta let it go man youre fighting battles no one has ever done before in here YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE
There's some FLARPish camp to the costuming in this film, at least. I appreciate the artifice of the sets, too. #PTO
Jake and Roxy are making me watch the Pervert of the Opera. ::::/
https://open.spotify.com/track/0oeEqyEAavgPfFxDYvjAP6?si=lR3aIjr0To23uAnGrQxkIA
APPAR8NTLY some dum8fuck copyright legislacer8tor on Earth-C let a certain white text weirdo get his muppety little mittens on the pat8nt for Magic 8 8alls!!!!!!!!
I'm pouting in the corner a8out a lot of things, Casper!!!!!!!! Lots of fucked irons in these fires.
Can't have anything on this 8itch of an Earth. ::::/
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO -- carbolicGalvanologist [CG] has lost connection to the timeline. --
NO
WAIT
CHALKBOX, DAY ONE. FIFTY-TWO-ISH KARKAT HOURS. I'VE SEEN A LOT OF BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE. A *LOT.* BULLSHIT OF SUCH A MYRIAD VARIETY THAT IF YOU WENT INTO A BULLSHIT PARLOR ADVERTISING EVERY FLAVOR OF BULLSHIT UNDER THE SUN, BULLSHIT NEAPOLITAN, BULLSHIT SPUMONI, BULLSHIT SORBET, BULLSHIT OF EVERY POSSIBLE QUALITY AND CONSISTENCY, AND THEN SERVED ME UP A TALL, HEAPING BULLSHIT CONE STACKED TO A HEIGHT THAT WOULD SEND EVEN TROLL SCOOBY-DOO INTO A FUCKING COMA, I WOULD SAMPLE EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR ON THAT MILE-HIGH BULLSHIT SUNDAE WITHOUT BATTING A FUCKING BULB. BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE. THIS. THIS IS THE FRESHEST BULLSHIT I'VE EVER TASTED. WHAT. THE FUCK. IS THIS. THIS IS SINGLE-HANDEDLY THE MOST PAN-MELTINGLY GARISH BLOCK IN AN ALREADY EYE-SEARING TORMENT NEXUS OF UGLY GREEN BLOCKS. WHY IS IT SO SMALL. WHY DOES THE FURNITURE LOOK LIKE IT'S FOR WIGGLERS OF RECENTLY DIVORCED LUSUSDADS. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS ON THE WALL. I CAN'T EVEN PARSE THIS SHIT WITH A FINE TOOTH HAIR DE-WRANGLER. NOBODY SHINE A FUCKING BLACK LIGHT IN HERE. I'M CHITTING THE PICTURE FOR POSTERITY. BECAUSE SEEING IS BELIEVING, AND I CAN BARELY BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING. BUT ALSO BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MOP THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT OFF THE FACE OF THE MOON. UPDATES WILL COME. GIVE ME TWO KARKAT HOURS. ACTUALLY, MAKE THAT FOUR. THE SHEER REPELLANT HIDEOUSNESS OF THIS RETCH-WORTHY FURNITURE IS PLAYING MY QUEASY INTERNAL CLOCK ON HALF-SPEED. I'M GETTING OLDER EVERY MOMENT I'M FORCED TO LOOK AT THE CHAIRS. THESE CHAIRS ARE MAKING ME OLD. ONWARD, TO WAR. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/388EDBE6A8DD.PNG
"OUTNUMBERED A MILLION TO ONE ALL OF THE DICKS IN THIS DICK TOWN CAN'T KEEP JOHNNY DOWN MEN PILED UP IN A TOWERING MOUND NONE OF THEM ONCE HAS FOUND A WAY TO KEEP JOHNNY DOWN." HTTPS://OPEN.SPOTIFY.COM/TRACK/19FAG1GI04IQ0NTKNINBIW?SI=00FF2156877545D2
On some level, I think I always understood That a ship could never really love an anchor So, I did the only thing that I could And severed the rope to set you sailing from my har8or https://open.spotify.com/track/7JLm1z8cu49xpXPO1TdZnG?si=94pWhdP9SoeqXv8DavCVFQ
I hope that our few remaining friends Give up on trying to save us I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot To piss off the dum8 few that forgave us I hope the fences we mended Fall down 8eneath their own weight And I hope we hang on past the last exit I hope it's already too late!!!!!!!! https://open.spotify.com/track/5cxnSTLzGD1t9xcdmJYFV8?si=W2MTZ0NvQS2vyvM4vQ5eFA
Fine, you know what, I can do that too!!!!!!!!
Stupid pointless nooksucking SHIT!!!!!!!!
I don't even need the good luck, 8ut hey, thanks.
Not the fucking lyrics, come on.
I can't 8elieve that everyone is going to make HER the victim when it's another FUCKING CASE OF NOT 8EING A8LE TO JUST COMMUNIC8TE.
https://open.spotify.com/track/7yXi88AYi4to5oQTeO738f?si=9d515f96238d4523
Cupe is for suckers, I'm 8asically fully converted to sleeping on a comfort sla8 at this point. Yeah, sure, there's something to 8e said for w8king and leaving the slime, 8ut I'm 8usy! It's MUCH more simple this way.
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG
Yes. A6s9lutely. Thank y9u f9r y9ur c99perati9n in ensuring this experience is a safe 9ne f9r all inv9lved. This is why y9u are my fav9urite disciple, Karkat. N9t that I mean t9 imply any 9ne disciple is 6etter than an9ther, 9r that I 'play fav9urites' in regards t9 wh9 receives my messages, 9f c9urse.
I still can't 8elieve Karkat took my door like some kind of angry fundamentalist human lusus. Classic Karkat!!!!!!!!
I agree wholeheartedly.
I'm going to receive some flack for ranking redpop so lowly, but when you've had it as many times as... ... ... Anyway.
Very well. So we are talking about it on feed. Excluding the non-carbonated Ohana line for what I hope are obvious reasons. --------- S --------- Rock & Rye. Creme Soda. Vanilla Creme Soda. Root Beer. Cotton Candy. Candy Apple. Bubble Pop. Super Pop. Firework. 60/40. It's 60-lime-40-grapefruit, to crack THAT caper. Dreamin. --------- A --------- Moon Mist Blue. Arctic Sun. Fruit Punch. Gold. --------- B --------- Grape. Jolly Green Apple. Black Cherry. Jazzin' Blues Berry. (You cannot taste the jazz. The berry is inoffensive.) Orange. Peach. Raspberry Blueberry. Pineapple. Pineapple Orange. Pineapple Watermelon. --------- C --------- Classic Redpop. Cola. Cherry Cola. Moon Mist classic. Twist. Ginger Ale. Dr. Faygo. --------- D --------- Tonic. Club Soda.
@carcinoGeneticist#4881 I'm sorry, okay???????? I'll m8ke sure to meticulously reheat that pie you got for me, slide it onto a silver platter, and figure out a way to wedge said platter 8etween my horns 8efore la8oriously crawling on hand and nu8 up to your fucking LAIR of a respite8lock and groveling, STILL PIZZA PANNED, MIND YOU, for your forgiveness! It was completely and utterly monstrous of me to go sample it right after you said I should keep my thieving claws off it, and I should have!!!!!!!! You're right. You just made it sound really good and I wanted to try it. So I'm sorry, okay?
I’M NOT KILLING PEOPLE. I’M KILLING BOYS. JENNIFER’S BODY. A CLASSIC TEEN DRAMA THRILLER THAT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET MYSELF NICE AND ACCLIMATED TO THE MURKY, SCUM-COVERED POOL WATER IN THE YMCA OF HORROR. THE TILE IS SLIMY AND IT SMELLS LIKE MILDEW IN HERE, BUT FUCK, I GUESS I’M GOING IN ANYWAY. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO— *DECIDED* TO— WATCH VIVARIUM FIRST, GIVEN THAT THE LEVEL OF “TERROR AND DREAD” IN THIS FILM WAS HARDLY WHAT IT WAS FOR THAT ONE. PERHAPS I DUNKED MY HEAD IN FIRST INTO THAT DREADFUL EXISTENTIAL BLACKNESS INSTEAD OF WALKING DOWN THE STEPS HOLDING THE RAILING AND MAYBE DONNING A SWIM CAP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. IF ONLY I KNEW THAT JENNIFER’S BODY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL, STRANGELY, A SIMILAR EMPTY ACHE. IT STARTS SIMPLE ENOUGH; JENNIFER AND NEEDY ARE TWO EARTH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. I COULD SEE THEM AS PALE, BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. NEEDY IS THIS HUGE DWEEB THAT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS QUESTIONING ABOUT HOW SOMEBODY LIKE JENNIFER— THE PRETTY CHEERLEADER— EVEN ACTUALLY LIKES HER. IT’S CLEAR THAT THE TWO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, AND HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND. THEY DECIDE ONE NIGHT TO GO OUT TO THIS LOCAL BAR (OR RATHER, JENNIFER CONVINCES NEEDY TO ABANDON HER SHITRINSER OF A MATESPRIT) TO SEE A ROCK BAND THAT’S PASSING THROUGH DEVIL’S KETTLE. THINGS GO WAY SOUTH WAY QUICK. THE BAR, DUE TO AN ACCIDENT OF SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT GOING HAYWIRE, GOES UP IN FLAMES. IT’S A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SHITFEST, NATURALLY, EVERYBODY SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BURNING AS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE CAUGHT IN A BURNING BUILDING. CLASSIC. JENNIFER IS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THAT VERY GROUP OF MEN WHEN THEY ASK HER IF SHE AND NEEDY WANT TO COME WITH THEM TO THEIR *TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT CREEPY* ROCKER SCUTTLEBUGGY. NEEDY SAYS NO, BEGS FOR JENNIFER NOT TO FOLLOW, BUT BECAUSE SHE’S IN SHOCK FROM THE SHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED, SHE GOES WITHOUT PROTEST. AND THIS IS HOW JENNIFER ENDS UP BEING CHOSEN AS A “VIRGIN SACRIFICE” FOR A DEMONIC RITUAL ENACTED BY THE MEN FOR THE PURPOSES OF EVERLASTING FAME AND FORTUNE. I’M NOT SUPER FAMILIAR WITH THE HUMAN SIGNIFICANCE OF VIRGINITY, SO I HAD TO LOOK IT UP, AND WHAT A WEIRD PILE OF MISOGYNISTIC GARBAGE, FIRST OF ALL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR PERPETUATING SUCH A NOTION THAT HONESTLY FEELS PREDATORY AND FUCKING EVIL. I DIGRESS. BUT GET THIS! THIS IS WHERE SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER. THE RITUAL GOES INCORRECTLY, BECAUSE JENNIFER ISN’T A VIRGIN OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE OF THAT, THE DEMON THAT THE BAND WAS TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ATTACHES ITSELF TO HER INSTEAD, RESURRECTING HER AND MAKING A HOME ALONGSIDE HER SOUL. THIS GIVES HER AN INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR BLOOD AND VISCERA, WHICH DRIVES HER TO SEDUCE AND SUBSEQENTLY FEED OFF OF THE LIVING, STARTING WITH THE GROUP WHO PUT HER IN THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT SEEMS THAT WHILE SHE CAN’T CONTROL HER URGES TO FEED, SHE CAN CONTROL *WHO* SHE FEEDS ON, WHICH IS LUCKY FOR NEEDY, BECAUSE SHE REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN IN SOME HOT WATER WHEN JENNIFER SHOWED UP IN HER HOUSE COVERED IN BLOOD AND BILE HUNGRY AS FUCK AND ATE HER MOM’S ROTISSERIE CLUCKBEAST OUT OF THE THERMAL HULL. SO THE KILLINGS CONTINUE, AND NEEDY IS TRYING TO FIND A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS INSANE HORSESHIT BECAUSE SHE STILL DOESN’T QUITE GET THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF HER FRIEND AND THE MISSING BOYS THAT HAVE CROPPED UP TORN TO BITS IN THE DAYS AFTER. SOMEHOW. EVEN WHEN JENNIFER VISITS HER AT HOME AND SHOWS HER FLESH— HER TONGUE, TO BE EXACT— IS IMMUNE TO INJURY. IT ONLY CLICKS SHE VISITS THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND LEARNS ABOUT HUMAN OCCULT RITUALS AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS POSSESSED. IT CULMINATES, WHEN, ON THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, NEEDY FINDS HERSELF ABANDONED BY HER CHIP AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LEADING HIM ASTRAY. NEEDY FINDS HER IN AN ABANDONED POOL HOUSE WITH HER MATESPRIT HALF-ALIVE, AND THEY HAVE A SHOWDOWN, WHICH LEAVES NEEDY ALIVE WITH A FEW SCRATCHES AND CHIP DEAD. NEEDY HUNTS JENNIFER DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND KILLS HER IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM. THIS IS WHAT LANDS NEEDY IN PRISON, WHICH IS WHERE THE STORY STARTED US OFF. THE ACTUAL UNDERLYING NARRATIVE OF JENNIFER’S BODY, IF YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION (I.E. IF YOU HAVE A PULSE AND ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A FART NIBLET LOLLING ABOUT ON YOUR LOBE STEM) IS REALLY… SAD. THE USE OF SEDUCTION TO ENTRAP THE UNSUSPECTING HAMBEASTS THAT FALL INTO HER CLUTCHES IS A VERY, *VERY* INTENTIONAL PLOT DEVICE. THE WHOLE REASON SHE’S EVEN IN THIS POSITION IS NOT OF HER OWN VOLITION; SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED FROM A BAR FIRE AND THEN ROUNDED UP BY A GROUP OF PREDATORS WHO WANTED TO USE HER *BODY* FOR A RITUAL THAT ENDED UP GOING HAYWIRE. SEE? EVEN DOWN TO THE TITLE. I FEEL LIKE I’M CONNECTING SOME DOTS HERE FOR YOU HOPEFULLY. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR CHOICES THAT SHE’S NOW STRUNG UP WITH A CURSE THAT SHE CAN NEVER QUELL. A POSSESSION THAT SHE CAN’T CONQUER, LEST SOMEBODY FREE HER FROM IT. WHICH LEADS ME TO NEEDY. THE RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDY AND JENNIFER MAINTAIN IS ALSO OF INTEREST TO ME. I’VE INTENTIONALLY SKIPPED A FEW PIECES OF THE SYNOPSIS TO COME BACK TO THIS EXPLANATION HERE. THERE’S THIS SWEEPING UNDERCURRENT OF INNATE CONNECTION THAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE HISTORICALLY SHARED. THE WATCHER IS PRIVY TO SOME FLASHBACKS ABOUT THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY WERE WIGGLERS, AND INCLINATIONS TO THEIR FRIENDSHIP UP TO NOW. THERE’S NO DENYING THAT THEY’RE BONDED LIKE I SAID BEFORE, BUT HOW DEEP DOES IT REALLY GO? THE STORY DOESN’T SPELL IT OUT, BUT WE CAN HYPOTHESIZE. THE FIRST SCENE I’LL GIVE MENTION TO IS WHEN NEEDY AND CHIP ARE DOING A HUMAN MATING RITUAL, AND JENNIFER IS ABOUT TO TEAR COLIN, THAT SAD EMO KID, APART TO EAT HIM. WE GET A DISTURBING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CHIP AND NEEDY DOING WHATEVER THEY’RE DOING (AND GOD, DOES IT LOOK DRY) AND JENNIFER TEARING COLIN LIMB FROM LIMB. WHILE THIS HAPPENS, NEEDY HALLUCINATES BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE CEILING AND SHE FLIPS HER EVERLOVING SHIT. THAT EVENING, WHEN NEEDY IS SAFE AND SOUND IN BED, JENNIFER SNEAKS IN AND PROCEEDS TO SEDUCE HER. AND DON’T GET ME WRONG, I THINK THIS PART WAS LIKELY A BIT OF A GRAB FOR THE AUDIENCE WHO WANT TO DROOL AT TWO HOT HUMAN GIRLS SWAPPING SPIT, BUT I ALSO THINK THAT JENNIFER WAS TRYING TO SHOW NEEDY HER ABILITIES IN AN ATTEMPT AT… CAMARADERIE? WARNING SIGNAL? IT WASN’T WITH THE INTENT TO EAT HER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS, THAT’S FOR SURE. AND IT’S AT THIS POINT THAT WE LEARN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO JENNIFER THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE, WHICH TINGES THIS WHOLE SCENE BLUE FOR ME. JENNIFER IS *SAD*. SHE HERSELF WAS KILLED, RIPPED APART, FLAYED OPEN, AND SO IT FUCKING SERVES THEM ALL RIGHT THAT THE DEMON THAT OVERTOOK HER IS HELPING HER ENACT REVENGE. AND THIS, FURTHERMORE, IS WHY SHE REPEATEDLY SPARES NEEDY, TIME AFTER TIME. JENNIFER DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO HURT ANYONE, BUT *ESPECIALLY* NOT THE ONE PERSON IN HER LIFE THAT SEEMS TO TRULY LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER THAN SUPERFICIALLY. THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF PITY CONNECTION THAT CAN’T EVEN BE SEVERED BY A DEMONIC PRESENCE. DAMN, WISH I HAD SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. WHO TYPED THAT LAST SENTENCE. MOVING ON. THE FINAL SCENE WITH JENNIFER PRESENT IS THE OTHER IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. NEEDY HUNTS HER DOWN AFTER SHE KILLS CHIP, AND THE TWO HAVE A BRAWL IN JENNIFER’S BEDROOM. IT ENDS WHEN NEEDY DISARMS HER BY BREAKING HER “BFF” NECKLACE, AND IT IS THIS ACTION THAT HELPS NEEDY TAKE THAT FINAL SWING AND STAB HER IN THE HEART. THE TWO OF THEM HAVE THIS, DARE I SAY, TENDER MOMENT AS JENNIFER TAKES HER LAST BREATHS. AS SHE EXHALES FOR THE LAST TIME, HER PALLOR RETURNS TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS, AS IF THE DEMON WERE FINALLY PROPERLY EXORCISED. IT’S A MERCY KILLING AS MUCH AS IT IS AN AVENGEMENT. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. AND STILL, THAT FEELING LINGERS. JENNIFER WAS A GIRL THAT ULTIMATELY, DESERVED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT HAPPENED TO HER. AND SHE FUCKING DIED FOR IT ANYWAY. THEN, NEEDY, HER BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, CONTINUES HER LEGACY AND REVENGE SPREE, IF ONLY TO RESPECT THE MEMORY OF HER DEAREST FRIEND. NEEDY IS PULLED INTO THE WAVES TOO. THE RIPPLE EFFECT IS BIGGER THAN JUST JENNIFER. IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE THING YOU’VE EVER WATCHED OR HEARD, YOU NEED YOUR GANDERBULBS AND AURALDUCTS CHECKED. YES, IT’S CAMPY AND A BIT KETCHUP-BLOODY. YES, IT USES LANGUAGE THAT 6 YEAR OLD ME WOULD HAVE USED AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY BEAT PAST KARKAT UP FOR LATER. IT’S OBVIOUSLY OF ITS TIME, AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT WILL CHANGE THAT. HOWEVER. NON OF THAT NEGATES THE FACT THAT THIS IS A NARRATIVE ABOUT ONE’S CHOICES AND HOW THEY CAN DESTROY ANOTHER’S LIFE. AND MORE SPECIFICALLY, HOW MEN’S DELIBERATE DECISIONS CAN AFFECT WOMEN. IT’S HUGELY ALLEGORICAL FOR THE WAY MANY SOCIETIES OPERATE NOW, WHETHER IT’S MISOGYNY OR CASTEISM OR WHATEVER OTHER PIECE OF SOCIOLOGICAL CONCEPT YOU WANT TO PUT THE LENS ON IT WITH. I THINK THIS FILM GETS A DISTORTED AND UNEARNED PERSPECTIVE PLACED ON IT BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION. FOUR STARS. KILL MORE BOYS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/7AFCA7A64B23.JPEG #BLOOD #SUGGESTIVE MAYBE
And you've got my respect too, Vantas. But I'm a New Yorker. Some things simply cannot go by unremarked upon.
Re: last rechitt. Excellent form and prose. And he's right, Chicago Deep-Dish fucks severely. That's not a fucking pizza. I'll kill you.
It's called ripping the adhesive wound-sticker off, Karkat. We're making sure that when the time comes (and it WILL come, trust me) Kanaya is confident and ready to strut her stuff. The more she lets things air out, the 8etter the wounds will heal. If she keeps it all suppressed inside, it'll rot her pusher!
I have been engaged in a week-long campaign of psychological battle against a trained enemy, and while we were at a standstill for a while, I have finally emerged victorious. I now own good curtains.
sounds like skill issues all around to me
concept: kisses everywhere other than the lips watching them with fluttering breath as their lips press to each of your knuckles turning your hand over to kiss your palm up over your wrists forearm to bicep teeth grinding over your shoulder to end with a trail of kisses over your collarbone giving your neck a few marks before pressing their lips to your cheeks your nose gliding to each side to peck your ears one for each horn before the dip lower chest ribs stomach each hip bone tongue teasing over your thighs as you feel a laugh rumble against your skin when they begin to zone in on the ache between them they go lower before giving it to you your knees to your ankles guiding your foot up to their lips to kiss the back lips pressing to each toe reverently as they stare up at you with a small smile returning to the top to start all over again (tags: Reader/Anonymous, #rankworks, body worship, flushpale, flushcoded, palecoded, pale pails, overstimulation, teasing, for the yearners, #nsfw, suggestive but thats not the point of this one if im being honest with you, <><3, quadsmearing, troll/troll, archive rating: M)
#megidomay day 16 start digging a hole! tomorrow #megidomay day 17 you will all be #postinghole (tags: #megidomay, the biggest might get a prize, 0u0, archive rating: G)
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/DG921KCS/HOLE.GIF #MEGIDOMAY #HOLE #POSTINGHOLE. IN HONOR OF @ARCHIVEADDICT. I DID SOME CHAOS ON BEFORUS. INSTEAD OF STAYING IN MY USUAL LANE. WON'T BE HAPPENING AGAIN. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS "TOO EASY." AND THAT'S COMING FROM ME.
i dont know about that! theres a few other things youre good at without even knowing about it! buuut i guess its part of your charm ill be in touch! (｡Oᴗ-)✧
^^a beast tamer?^^ ^^hello ^^'^^
hMM,
My gay husband. My disco ball and chain, if you will.
fine stay naked and fig leafless forever see if i care
Just for the record, and speaking extremely o8jectively, Jane is 8Y FAR the most fucka8le of the alphas. The lead she has on the rest of you is craaaaaaaazy. This is, of course, with Callie in consider8tion, for those of you at the edge of your seats. If we include Tavros and Eridan, Tavros just 8arely eeks out a win against Jane, and Eridan juuuuuuuust loses to Jape for 7th place! Sad. @adiosToreador @gutsyGumshoe @timaeusTestified#0414 @golgothasTerror @caligulasAquarium @tipsyGnostalgic#2248 @uranianUm8ra#4373
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/5c7b57c37ec1.png
Finally, someone gets it. This is the subversive full-circle schlock everyone has been waiting for. A woman... wait for it... drumroll... and a man.
Maybe the real yaoi was the heterosexuality we found along the way.
It's daring. It's subversive. We are sitting our fat keisters on a nuclear meltdown quantity of potential, here. Entirely unrealized.
Do it.
0n0