♦ pitied by @carcinoGeneticist
I still can't 8elieve Karkat took my door like some kind of angry fundamentalist human lusus. Classic Karkat!!!!!!!!
I agree wholeheartedly.
Don't you have an udder to gnaw.
wAiT, mOtHeRfUcKeRs aCtUaLlY BeLiEvEd tHaT ShIt? NaH BrOtHeRs tHeY GoT ThAt rIgHtEoUs sHiT UnDeR ThE BiG ToPs. MoSt sAcReD FaYgO 40's wIlL KnOcK A MoThErFuCkEr oN ThEiR AsS In a hUrRy. HoLiDaYs hAd tHe sTrOnGeSt sHiT, bLeSsEd wItH ThE MoSt aNcIeNt eLiXiRs fRoM ThE GrEaT CuLlInG. (O: cAn't eVeN MaKe tHe sHiT PrOpEr nO MoRe.
I'm going to receive some flack for ranking redpop so lowly, but when you've had it as many times as... ... ... Anyway.
Very well. So we are talking about it on feed. Excluding the non-carbonated Ohana line for what I hope are obvious reasons. --------- S --------- Rock & Rye. Creme Soda. Vanilla Creme Soda. Root Beer. Cotton Candy. Candy Apple. Bubble Pop. Super Pop. Firework. 60/40. It's 60-lime-40-grapefruit, to crack THAT caper. Dreamin. --------- A --------- Moon Mist Blue. Arctic Sun. Fruit Punch. Gold. --------- B --------- Grape. Jolly Green Apple. Black Cherry. Jazzin' Blues Berry. (You cannot taste the jazz. The berry is inoffensive.) Orange. Peach. Raspberry Blueberry. Pineapple. Pineapple Orange. Pineapple Watermelon. --------- C --------- Classic Redpop. Cola. Cherry Cola. Moon Mist classic. Twist. Ginger Ale. Dr. Faygo. --------- D --------- Tonic. Club Soda.
@carcinoGeneticist#4881 I'm sorry, okay???????? I'll m8ke sure to meticulously reheat that pie you got for me, slide it onto a silver platter, and figure out a way to wedge said platter 8etween my horns 8efore la8oriously crawling on hand and nu8 up to your fucking LAIR of a respite8lock and groveling, STILL PIZZA PANNED, MIND YOU, for your forgiveness! It was completely and utterly monstrous of me to go sample it right after you said I should keep my thieving claws off it, and I should have!!!!!!!! You're right. You just made it sound really good and I wanted to try it. So I'm sorry, okay?
I’M NOT KILLING PEOPLE. I’M KILLING BOYS. JENNIFER’S BODY. A CLASSIC TEEN DRAMA THRILLER THAT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET MYSELF NICE AND ACCLIMATED TO THE MURKY, SCUM-COVERED POOL WATER IN THE YMCA OF HORROR. THE TILE IS SLIMY AND IT SMELLS LIKE MILDEW IN HERE, BUT FUCK, I GUESS I’M GOING IN ANYWAY. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO— *DECIDED* TO— WATCH VIVARIUM FIRST, GIVEN THAT THE LEVEL OF “TERROR AND DREAD” IN THIS FILM WAS HARDLY WHAT IT WAS FOR THAT ONE. PERHAPS I DUNKED MY HEAD IN FIRST INTO THAT DREADFUL EXISTENTIAL BLACKNESS INSTEAD OF WALKING DOWN THE STEPS HOLDING THE RAILING AND MAYBE DONNING A SWIM CAP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. IF ONLY I KNEW THAT JENNIFER’S BODY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL, STRANGELY, A SIMILAR EMPTY ACHE. IT STARTS SIMPLE ENOUGH; JENNIFER AND NEEDY ARE TWO EARTH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. I COULD SEE THEM AS PALE, BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. NEEDY IS THIS HUGE DWEEB THAT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS QUESTIONING ABOUT HOW SOMEBODY LIKE JENNIFER— THE PRETTY CHEERLEADER— EVEN ACTUALLY LIKES HER. IT’S CLEAR THAT THE TWO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, AND HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND. THEY DECIDE ONE NIGHT TO GO OUT TO THIS LOCAL BAR (OR RATHER, JENNIFER CONVINCES NEEDY TO ABANDON HER SHITRINSER OF A MATESPRIT) TO SEE A ROCK BAND THAT’S PASSING THROUGH DEVIL’S KETTLE. THINGS GO WAY SOUTH WAY QUICK. THE BAR, DUE TO AN ACCIDENT OF SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT GOING HAYWIRE, GOES UP IN FLAMES. IT’S A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SHITFEST, NATURALLY, EVERYBODY SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BURNING AS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE CAUGHT IN A BURNING BUILDING. CLASSIC. JENNIFER IS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THAT VERY GROUP OF MEN WHEN THEY ASK HER IF SHE AND NEEDY WANT TO COME WITH THEM TO THEIR *TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT CREEPY* ROCKER SCUTTLEBUGGY. NEEDY SAYS NO, BEGS FOR JENNIFER NOT TO FOLLOW, BUT BECAUSE SHE’S IN SHOCK FROM THE SHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED, SHE GOES WITHOUT PROTEST. AND THIS IS HOW JENNIFER ENDS UP BEING CHOSEN AS A “VIRGIN SACRIFICE” FOR A DEMONIC RITUAL ENACTED BY THE MEN FOR THE PURPOSES OF EVERLASTING FAME AND FORTUNE. I’M NOT SUPER FAMILIAR WITH THE HUMAN SIGNIFICANCE OF VIRGINITY, SO I HAD TO LOOK IT UP, AND WHAT A WEIRD PILE OF MISOGYNISTIC GARBAGE, FIRST OF ALL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR PERPETUATING SUCH A NOTION THAT HONESTLY FEELS PREDATORY AND FUCKING EVIL. I DIGRESS. BUT GET THIS! THIS IS WHERE SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER. THE RITUAL GOES INCORRECTLY, BECAUSE JENNIFER ISN’T A VIRGIN OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE OF THAT, THE DEMON THAT THE BAND WAS TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ATTACHES ITSELF TO HER INSTEAD, RESURRECTING HER AND MAKING A HOME ALONGSIDE HER SOUL. THIS GIVES HER AN INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR BLOOD AND VISCERA, WHICH DRIVES HER TO SEDUCE AND SUBSEQENTLY FEED OFF OF THE LIVING, STARTING WITH THE GROUP WHO PUT HER IN THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT SEEMS THAT WHILE SHE CAN’T CONTROL HER URGES TO FEED, SHE CAN CONTROL *WHO* SHE FEEDS ON, WHICH IS LUCKY FOR NEEDY, BECAUSE SHE REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN IN SOME HOT WATER WHEN JENNIFER SHOWED UP IN HER HOUSE COVERED IN BLOOD AND BILE HUNGRY AS FUCK AND ATE HER MOM’S ROTISSERIE CLUCKBEAST OUT OF THE THERMAL HULL. SO THE KILLINGS CONTINUE, AND NEEDY IS TRYING TO FIND A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS INSANE HORSESHIT BECAUSE SHE STILL DOESN’T QUITE GET THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF HER FRIEND AND THE MISSING BOYS THAT HAVE CROPPED UP TORN TO BITS IN THE DAYS AFTER. SOMEHOW. EVEN WHEN JENNIFER VISITS HER AT HOME AND SHOWS HER FLESH— HER TONGUE, TO BE EXACT— IS IMMUNE TO INJURY. IT ONLY CLICKS SHE VISITS THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND LEARNS ABOUT HUMAN OCCULT RITUALS AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS POSSESSED. IT CULMINATES, WHEN, ON THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, NEEDY FINDS HERSELF ABANDONED BY HER CHIP AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LEADING HIM ASTRAY. NEEDY FINDS HER IN AN ABANDONED POOL HOUSE WITH HER MATESPRIT HALF-ALIVE, AND THEY HAVE A SHOWDOWN, WHICH LEAVES NEEDY ALIVE WITH A FEW SCRATCHES AND CHIP DEAD. NEEDY HUNTS JENNIFER DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND KILLS HER IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM. THIS IS WHAT LANDS NEEDY IN PRISON, WHICH IS WHERE THE STORY STARTED US OFF. THE ACTUAL UNDERLYING NARRATIVE OF JENNIFER’S BODY, IF YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION (I.E. IF YOU HAVE A PULSE AND ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A FART NIBLET LOLLING ABOUT ON YOUR LOBE STEM) IS REALLY… SAD. THE USE OF SEDUCTION TO ENTRAP THE UNSUSPECTING HAMBEASTS THAT FALL INTO HER CLUTCHES IS A VERY, *VERY* INTENTIONAL PLOT DEVICE. THE WHOLE REASON SHE’S EVEN IN THIS POSITION IS NOT OF HER OWN VOLITION; SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED FROM A BAR FIRE AND THEN ROUNDED UP BY A GROUP OF PREDATORS WHO WANTED TO USE HER *BODY* FOR A RITUAL THAT ENDED UP GOING HAYWIRE. SEE? EVEN DOWN TO THE TITLE. I FEEL LIKE I’M CONNECTING SOME DOTS HERE FOR YOU HOPEFULLY. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR CHOICES THAT SHE’S NOW STRUNG UP WITH A CURSE THAT SHE CAN NEVER QUELL. A POSSESSION THAT SHE CAN’T CONQUER, LEST SOMEBODY FREE HER FROM IT. WHICH LEADS ME TO NEEDY. THE RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDY AND JENNIFER MAINTAIN IS ALSO OF INTEREST TO ME. I’VE INTENTIONALLY SKIPPED A FEW PIECES OF THE SYNOPSIS TO COME BACK TO THIS EXPLANATION HERE. THERE’S THIS SWEEPING UNDERCURRENT OF INNATE CONNECTION THAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE HISTORICALLY SHARED. THE WATCHER IS PRIVY TO SOME FLASHBACKS ABOUT THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY WERE WIGGLERS, AND INCLINATIONS TO THEIR FRIENDSHIP UP TO NOW. THERE’S NO DENYING THAT THEY’RE BONDED LIKE I SAID BEFORE, BUT HOW DEEP DOES IT REALLY GO? THE STORY DOESN’T SPELL IT OUT, BUT WE CAN HYPOTHESIZE. THE FIRST SCENE I’LL GIVE MENTION TO IS WHEN NEEDY AND CHIP ARE DOING A HUMAN MATING RITUAL, AND JENNIFER IS ABOUT TO TEAR COLIN, THAT SAD EMO KID, APART TO EAT HIM. WE GET A DISTURBING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CHIP AND NEEDY DOING WHATEVER THEY’RE DOING (AND GOD, DOES IT LOOK DRY) AND JENNIFER TEARING COLIN LIMB FROM LIMB. WHILE THIS HAPPENS, NEEDY HALLUCINATES BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE CEILING AND SHE FLIPS HER EVERLOVING SHIT. THAT EVENING, WHEN NEEDY IS SAFE AND SOUND IN BED, JENNIFER SNEAKS IN AND PROCEEDS TO SEDUCE HER. AND DON’T GET ME WRONG, I THINK THIS PART WAS LIKELY A BIT OF A GRAB FOR THE AUDIENCE WHO WANT TO DROOL AT TWO HOT HUMAN GIRLS SWAPPING SPIT, BUT I ALSO THINK THAT JENNIFER WAS TRYING TO SHOW NEEDY HER ABILITIES IN AN ATTEMPT AT… CAMARADERIE? WARNING SIGNAL? IT WASN’T WITH THE INTENT TO EAT HER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS, THAT’S FOR SURE. AND IT’S AT THIS POINT THAT WE LEARN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO JENNIFER THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE, WHICH TINGES THIS WHOLE SCENE BLUE FOR ME. JENNIFER IS *SAD*. SHE HERSELF WAS KILLED, RIPPED APART, FLAYED OPEN, AND SO IT FUCKING SERVES THEM ALL RIGHT THAT THE DEMON THAT OVERTOOK HER IS HELPING HER ENACT REVENGE. AND THIS, FURTHERMORE, IS WHY SHE REPEATEDLY SPARES NEEDY, TIME AFTER TIME. JENNIFER DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO HURT ANYONE, BUT *ESPECIALLY* NOT THE ONE PERSON IN HER LIFE THAT SEEMS TO TRULY LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER THAN SUPERFICIALLY. THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF PITY CONNECTION THAT CAN’T EVEN BE SEVERED BY A DEMONIC PRESENCE. DAMN, WISH I HAD SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. WHO TYPED THAT LAST SENTENCE. MOVING ON. THE FINAL SCENE WITH JENNIFER PRESENT IS THE OTHER IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. NEEDY HUNTS HER DOWN AFTER SHE KILLS CHIP, AND THE TWO HAVE A BRAWL IN JENNIFER’S BEDROOM. IT ENDS WHEN NEEDY DISARMS HER BY BREAKING HER “BFF” NECKLACE, AND IT IS THIS ACTION THAT HELPS NEEDY TAKE THAT FINAL SWING AND STAB HER IN THE HEART. THE TWO OF THEM HAVE THIS, DARE I SAY, TENDER MOMENT AS JENNIFER TAKES HER LAST BREATHS. AS SHE EXHALES FOR THE LAST TIME, HER PALLOR RETURNS TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS, AS IF THE DEMON WERE FINALLY PROPERLY EXORCISED. IT’S A MERCY KILLING AS MUCH AS IT IS AN AVENGEMENT. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. AND STILL, THAT FEELING LINGERS. JENNIFER WAS A GIRL THAT ULTIMATELY, DESERVED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT HAPPENED TO HER. AND SHE FUCKING DIED FOR IT ANYWAY. THEN, NEEDY, HER BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, CONTINUES HER LEGACY AND REVENGE SPREE, IF ONLY TO RESPECT THE MEMORY OF HER DEAREST FRIEND. NEEDY IS PULLED INTO THE WAVES TOO. THE RIPPLE EFFECT IS BIGGER THAN JUST JENNIFER. IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE THING YOU’VE EVER WATCHED OR HEARD, YOU NEED YOUR GANDERBULBS AND AURALDUCTS CHECKED. YES, IT’S CAMPY AND A BIT KETCHUP-BLOODY. YES, IT USES LANGUAGE THAT 6 YEAR OLD ME WOULD HAVE USED AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY BEAT PAST KARKAT UP FOR LATER. IT’S OBVIOUSLY OF ITS TIME, AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT WILL CHANGE THAT. HOWEVER. NON OF THAT NEGATES THE FACT THAT THIS IS A NARRATIVE ABOUT ONE’S CHOICES AND HOW THEY CAN DESTROY ANOTHER’S LIFE. AND MORE SPECIFICALLY, HOW MEN’S DELIBERATE DECISIONS CAN AFFECT WOMEN. IT’S HUGELY ALLEGORICAL FOR THE WAY MANY SOCIETIES OPERATE NOW, WHETHER IT’S MISOGYNY OR CASTEISM OR WHATEVER OTHER PIECE OF SOCIOLOGICAL CONCEPT YOU WANT TO PUT THE LENS ON IT WITH. I THINK THIS FILM GETS A DISTORTED AND UNEARNED PERSPECTIVE PLACED ON IT BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION. FOUR STARS. KILL MORE BOYS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/7AFCA7A64B23.JPEG #BLOOD #SUGGESTIVE MAYBE
Doubtful But Alright Im Not Sure I Even Want To Imagine The Sheer Amount Of Sodium Youve Committed Yourself To Ingesting As Of Late Instead I Think I Should Bring You Over A Spiralized Zucchini Bake Later
:o) okay brother.
really bad time for this
Thank You Karkat
Frittata For Dinner Again Tonight Kanaya Come On Its Like Were Not Even Trying Anymore
This Is Probably The Least Pleasant Piece Of Paper Ive Ever Scrawled My Signature On But We Do What We Must I Suppose #PostingVaguely
I have been engaged in a week-long campaign of psychological battle against a trained enemy, and while we were at a standstill for a while, I have finally emerged victorious. I now own good curtains.
concept: kisses everywhere other than the lips watching them with fluttering breath as their lips press to each of your knuckles turning your hand over to kiss your palm up over your wrists forearm to bicep teeth grinding over your shoulder to end with a trail of kisses over your collarbone giving your neck a few marks before pressing their lips to your cheeks your nose gliding to each side to peck your ears one for each horn before the dip lower chest ribs stomach each hip bone tongue teasing over your thighs as you feel a laugh rumble against your skin when they begin to zone in on the ache between them they go lower before giving it to you your knees to your ankles guiding your foot up to their lips to kiss the back lips pressing to each toe reverently as they stare up at you with a small smile returning to the top to start all over again (tags: Reader/Anonymous, #rankworks, body worship, flushpale, flushcoded, palecoded, pale pails, overstimulation, teasing, for the yearners, #nsfw, suggestive but thats not the point of this one if im being honest with you, <><3, quadsmearing, troll/troll, archive rating: M)
#megidomay day 16 start digging a hole! tomorrow #megidomay day 17 you will all be #postinghole (tags: #megidomay, the biggest might get a prize, 0u0, archive rating: G)
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/DG921KCS/HOLE.GIF #MEGIDOMAY #HOLE #POSTINGHOLE. IN HONOR OF @ARCHIVEADDICT. I DID SOME CHAOS ON BEFORUS. INSTEAD OF STAYING IN MY USUAL LANE. WON'T BE HAPPENING AGAIN. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS "TOO EASY." AND THAT'S COMING FROM ME.
Ha Ha Yeah Its Completely Stupid I Agree There But Either Way That Was A Actual Valid Rage For Once
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Were I to sit here and "psychoanalyze" (an almost entirely inaccurate term for this, by the way. Don't let your psychology be limited to Freud.) the style with which I choose to render myself, I would likely draw some sort of metaphor about light that casts a shadow, or the light that burns so brightly it scorches the features from my body. I struggle to see myself as a fully realized person lately, feeling as if I am in the midst of a metamorphosis wherein I am losing my humanity and becoming nothing more than an image burned into the wall behind me. Or, if we didn't want to take the psychological route: I think it looks neat and I can't draw the other eye.
Im Sorry Karkat And If It Helps At All Im Here For You If You Need Me
sORRY, }:(
I'VE BEEN HACKED.
do whatever you need to to be comfy!!! theres no shame in sopor <3 actually i tried it myself recently! it is... interesting but i dont think id use it all the time!
being +rapped on ear+h i s+ill miss +he sopor.
And the good Lord (rest his soul) said arise, my brother. #BoysNight https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/18766a5844c1.png @caligulasAquarium @terminallyCapricious#2753 @gutsyGumshoe @technicallyTimaeus @tipsyGnostalgic#2248
what if im not young at all what if im lifetimes old and i still dont...
I only cry once a year, on the anniversary of Mitch Hedberg's death. Rest in peace, Mitch. You were the sexiest man who ever lived.
sHoUlD I MaKe tHiS CuTe mOtHeR FuCkEr sIt tHeIr aSs dOwN On tHe hOrN PiLe? Or tHe uNiCyClE PiLe? PrOs oF ThE HoRn pIlE Is i tHiNk iT'S FuNnY ThE WaY ThIs sHiT HoNkS WhEn hE DoN'T ExPeCt iT. pRoS Of tHe uNiCyClE PiLe iS ItS MoThEr fUcKiNg iMpOsSiBlE To gEt yOuR AsS In tHe wItHoUt gEtTiNg sTaBbEd oR BoNkEd oN ThE HeAd wItH WhEeLs wHiCh iS AlSo a lAuGh.
:o) hOoOoOnK.
...i dont know, i just kind of wanted to be part of your post. sorry.
I HAVE AN INFITE AMOUNT OF TIME, KID. THAT'S SORT OF PART OF MY SHTICK. I'M JUST LITERALLY SITTING HERE EATING AN OREO MCFLURRY AND YOU'RE MALDING. YOU'RE MALDING WHILE I CRAM PROCESSED COOKIE AND CREAM ICECREAM INTO MY FACEHOLE.
>>>(Spreading) the disease >>>(Quarantine) the infestation
B33 < yeah but its b33n a minute since i had to parse out the real grievance furom the grousing
oNe oF ThE MoThEr fUcKiNg cRoCkEr cOrP PaPaRaZzI WoRmS ToOk a pIcTuRe oF Us wHeN I WaS WaLkInG OuT ThRoUgH ThE FrOnT DoOr. GuEsS ThIs iS WhY I AlWaYs tAkE ThE BaCk. BuT HeY ThIs pIcTuRe aIn't sO BaD. i tHiNk a mOtHeR FuCkEr lOoKs pReTtY GoOd hErE. hTtPs://cDn.iMgChEsT.CoM/FiLeS/69F8Ac9f8f00.pNg
i am so effing tired :( #HadTheCloneNightmareAgain
Got a fat ass and nice tits, but at what cost? (Back pain)
My gay husband. My disco ball and chain, if you will.
Why is it always jakedirk this and janedirk such and such. Weve all got two hands folks and with these two hands i suggest HITTING THE FRIGGING LOG OFF BUTTON BEFORE YOU ENGAGE IN MORE *DISMAL MINDED CADDERY*.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/5c7b57c37ec1.png
Finally, someone gets it. This is the subversive full-circle schlock everyone has been waiting for. A woman... wait for it... drumroll... and a man.
Maybe the real yaoi was the heterosexuality we found along the way.
It's daring. It's subversive. We are sitting our fat keisters on a nuclear meltdown quantity of potential, here. Entirely unrealized.
i think its kinda endearing :)
you guys are so mean to me for no reason :(
i AM NOT, a TURBOPERVERT,
I understand. It's important to Make Space For Others. I'll always be around if you need me!
Such is our nature as thinking beings.
........Awh, Karkat. ::::(
No Please Not "First Flush/Late Bright Season" Please Please Please Stop Playing "First Flush/Late Bright Season"
LOGG1NG OFF M4YB3 FOR3V3R 1 DONT KNOW JUST NOT F33L1NG 1T 4NYMOR3 UGH #GOODN1GHT #MOR3L1K3 #B4DN1GHT #1MD3PR3SS3D
