YOU THOUGHT ME GONE. YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD SILENT. GROUND INTO MULCH UNDER THE HEEL OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES TO THE TIME ASSHOLE MAFIA. THAT I HAD LEFT MY THRONE, THE ONE I CARVED OUT OF THE RAW, PRIMORDIAL SHITSLUDGE OF THIS UNCULTURED WEBSITE WITH MY TEETH, CLAWS, AND GODTIER TASTE IN ROMANTIC CINEMA, TO COLLECT DUST, COBWEBS, WINGBEAST SHIT, AND LIMESCALE. WELL GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLES. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. IT'S BACK. IT'S FUCKING BACK. AND THIS TIME, IT'S HERE TO STAY. STARTING 7/8, THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB IS BACK. THE BEST ROMANCES, ROMANCE-ADJACENT FLICKS, AND BARELY JUSTIFIABLE AS ROMANCE CINEMASLOP THAT I'M CAPABLE OF STREAMING FROM THE MOON WHILE I'M ON A VERY LONG SMOKE BREAK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE JOINED ME IN MY PERSONAL CINEMANIA RUMPUS ROOM BEFORE, YOU'LL NOTICE A FEW NEW PERKS FOR NEW MEMBERS AND OLD ALIKE, JUST BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAGNANIMOUS PIECE OF SHIT. THEY INCLUDE: - REGULAR SHOWTIMES. EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT 7 PM PST [PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME]. NO MORE MUCKING ABOUT, CARVING X'S INTO YOUR CALENDAR, WONDERING IF IT'S GOING TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN THIS WIPE AND WHEN. WE'RE LOCK FUCKING STEP, THIS TIME (I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SAY "FUCK IT" AND EITHER SKIP A DAY OR HAND IT OFF TO ONE OF MY TRUSTED LIEUTENANTS. THIS IS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE LEADERSHIP CONCESSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT). - ABCC MIDDLE PRONGSTUBS S-LIST. IN OTHER WORDS, PRIORITY REGISTRATION. SOME OF YOU (AND YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS) GET THE EXORBITANT FUCKING LUXURY OF A GUARANTEED SPOT ON EITHER DAY, SO LONG AS YOU RSVP IN ADVANCE A COUPLE OF DAYS. THE STUPID VIRTUALBLOCKS ONLY HOLD TWELVE PEOPLE AT A TIME (HUH. WONDER WHY IT'S THAT NUMBER, SPECIFICALLY. SOMETHING NOSTALGIC AND FUCKED UP ABOUT IT), SO SPOTS TEND TO FILL UP FAST. ENJOY NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THAT PEDANTIC BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN. - #SUBSTANCE NIGHT. YES, YOU HEARD ME. SINCE WE'RE SHOWING THE SAME MOVIE BOTH NIGHTS, FEEL FREE TO PULL UP ON FRIDAY AND (OPTIONALLY, OPTIONALLY, CANNOT FUCKING STRESS THIS ENOUGH, *OPTIONALLY*, PEER PRESSURE WILL BE MET WITH THE SWIFTED DOWNFALL OF MY MIGHTY BANSICKLE IMAGINABLE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE (OR A WARM ONE, IF YOU'RE SOME KIND OF LAZY, UNWASHED CHUD WHO JUST KEEPS THEM UNDER YOUR FUCKING WORKPLANK, OR SOMETHING) AND COME BE A MESSY DUMBFUCK REPROBATE WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRLINGS. IT'S BYOB. BRING YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. FUCK AROUND RESPONSIBLY. - THE SUGGESTION BOX. YUP. THAT'S RIGHT. NOW YOU, TOO, CAN PRETEND TO HAVE TASTE IN MOVIES THAT'S ONE STEP ABOVE A WIGGLER WATCHING KEYS JINGLE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE. THROW A MOVIE INTO THE HOPPER AND WATCH IT COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE WHEN IT'S TIME TO SCRAPE THE CRUST OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. OR IMPRESS ME, IF YOU'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD PICK. YOU CAN SUBMIT A MOVIE HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. AND THE FEATURE I'M PROUDEST OF. - GHASTLY MIST TIME [GMT]/BILIOUS STANDARD TIME [BST] SHOWTIMES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. IF YOU'VE HAD THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN OF MISSING OUT ON STREAMS AND OTHER LIVE EVENTS BECAUSE YOUR TIMELINEZONE IS NESTLED SQUARELY BETWEEN THE WORDS "FUCK" AND "YOU," THEN BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. THE GOATED SON OF A BITCH HIMSELF. THE CINEMATIC BALL-KNOWER. THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE, #carcinoGeneticist#2443 IS GOING TO HELP ME ORGANIZE SHOWTIMES FOR EVERYONE ON THE FLIP SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE. AND YOU CAN TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY ME. TIME AND DATE FOR THAT WILL BE COMING SOON, SO JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS AND DON'T GET ON EITHER OF OUR ASSES ABOUT IT. YOU'VE WAITED THIS LONG, YOU'LL BE FINE. SO COME. COME ONE, COME ALL, COME GET A FACEFUL OF BLISTERING HOT ABSOLUTE CINEMA DOWN AT #ABCC'S NEXT #WATCHPARTY. WE'LL BE JUMPSTARTING THIS FLY-RIDDEN CORPSE WITH A CLASSIC ANIMATED ROMANCE TOMORROW THAT MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH. HAVE FUN WITH IT. THEY WON'T ALL BE THIS EASY. SEE YOU THERE, FUCKWITS. #GETIN.
Oh! How delightful! II'd love two attend.
motnerfucker i already put my snit ih
I'M GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU, ROSE. IF YOU CAN MAKE LITERALLY THE MOST ROUNDABOUT, UNNECESSARILY CONVOLUTED RUBE FUCKING GOLDBERG OF A JUSTIFICATION WHY A MOVIE COULD BE EVEN *REMOTELY* CONSIDERED "ROMANTIC," IT GETS IN AUTOMATICALLY. BUT WE'RE ALSO JUST GOING TO HAVE SOME WILDCARD WIPES, SO IT'S NOT LIKE IT FUCKING MATTERS. THIS IS JUST ABOUT SATISFYING MY BRAND.
࣪⊹₊˚{ LETSSSS FOURKING GOOOO! \}*7*{/ #imcoming #imgettingin #imgettingafaceful #IMTHEREEEE }˚₊⊹ ࣪
I'll bide my time to make suggestions.
YES. YOU HEARD IT ALL RIGHT. IN FACT, I KARKAT VANTAS FROM UNIVERSE 2443, WILL BE HOSTING THE ABCC IN GHASTLY MIST/ BILIOUS STANDARD TIME. IT IS AN HONOUR TO TAKE THE WHEEL WHILE THE REST OF YOU NOT SITUATED IN BETWEEN THE "FUCK AND YOU" AS HE SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT ARE SOUNDLY SLEEPING. WE PUT TOGETHER A FRICTIONLESS SUBMISSIONS BOX TOO SO GET YOUR RECS IN. THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME, MAN. THIS IS GOING TO BE *INCREDIBLY* ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.
YES. HELL YES. HELL. FUCKING. *YES.*
Very e⚔cited.
:33< yesss yess yesss!!! :33< can't wait:33
FUCK YEAH!!!!! i will absolutely be there...on fridays (|:p pretty much wont be making any suggestions cause i dont watch movies outside of this but i will always be down for whatever peak cinema you guys throw at me!!