♠ hated by @carcinoGeneticist
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 12: damara megido #pickme #casteplay #killing #violence #substance #wslur #seadwellerfetishism #substances #cheating #nsfw #nsfwe #dubcon #extremelywillingcon #fartoomuchcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl evweryone vwelcome my vwery special guest @handMaid. shes here to confirm vwhat im saying and add some of her owvn thoughts. this aint gonna be an easy one, so im glad to havwe her perspectivwe (first time anyones said that, huh?). also i gotta note. i did not ask her to come help. but shes in my hivwe and vwont leavwe, and like, normally im cool vwith that, but she and her time clones havwe me in vwhat i can only describe as a contraption. like, its honestly impressivwe, if she vwerent a fuckdoll for the fuckpuppet she could be an engineer #vwomeninstem 「 #SADISM #TORTURE #EXTREME #MURDER.」 since damz is gonna havwe a lot more to say about the fun ones, im gonna start vwith the normies. im talking the damaras that just vwanna smoke vweed and are only vwaguely upset about evwerything and can evwen empathize vwith you about crippling loneliness. 「ALSO KNOWN. AS THE BETA BOTTOM BITCHES. 」scary, i knowv. these can be alright if im in a softer kinda mood, but honestly they freak me out a bit. shell probably be real blase about getting touched up or degraded, almost definitely has a free use kink. you aint gonna get good banter outta her, just a fewv names, maybe shell call you a shrimp dick. nook is nook, but this one usually aint evwen gonna havwe tits, shell be a vwillovwy sorta gal. 「DON’T PUT THAT IN.」meh. in the middle vwe havwe the psycho ex-girlfriends. not yours, necessarily, but this is the levwel theyre at. angry at the vworld, angry at you, and ready to bang about it. definitely has lusus issues, try to emulate the scratch vway. yknowv, condescending, pushy, treating it like its an inevwitability shell do vwhatevwer you ask. bonus points if it actually is, like if theres some strength differential. shes also definitely into being called a gutterblood, gutterskank, gutterslut, call her rustie casually, get her to start calling you some fun shit. highblood, sir, those are the obvwious ones, but if youre a fish? vwell she might go for the vwader shit, vwhich maybe you can get into, but damn, if youre a fish shell call you daddy vwhether you like it or not. just keep vwigilant vwith your gills, she lovwes fishhooking (pun not intended?), and yeah shell nibble on your fins but she might also gnawv em off.「 IT’S CALLED TAGGING. SO ALL OF CHITTR. CAN TELL THAT YOU ARE NEUTERED.」buyer bevware. oh shit, and this applies to all of em, but if you can manage to understand vwhat shes saying, misinterpret it. pick out just a fewv vwords and make those into the meaning. real fun game, selectivwe hearing. nowv in my experience theyll all take it and lovwe it, but damara vwants to mention that they may as vwell be pirates vwith all the pegging they get up to. ill take her vword for it. and. okay yes ill take that too okay okay just stop the contraption. then vwevwe got gals like our damz here. proper nympho sociopaths, just vwhat the doctor ordered! say the vwrong thing and she might kick your ass, say the same exact thing on a different day she might squat dowvn and throwv you peace signs. either vway, shes in control, shes the one vwho can bring out a bunch of time clones to gangbang you vwith. not a bad thing, but keep it in mind if youd prefer certain orifices to remain vwirginal. shes doing more than just the vweed, shell take vwhatevwer you havwe on offer, probably force some vweird thing into you too. if youre the sentimental type, dont evwen bother vwith her, because shes sleeping vwith all your friends vwhile youre vwondering howv to ask her out. and i mean that literally, time shit. armchair dia-cro-sis: the classic good-time gal. she vwants you bad pretty much regardless of all your vwarious attributes. she’s just stoked to find someone vwith a rap sheet half as long as her owvn. okay. shit. my lavwyers *really* dont vwant me talking about this one. so vwere gonna get into it, and vwhat gets redacted gets ████████. so you might meet some █████ ███████, right? been ████ for the █████ █████ ███ but it ██████ ██████ ████ of ████████. but for the █████ ████, right? at least half the time, theyre gonna vwant you ██ ███ ████ ██████ █████ ██████ shit. and █████████ ██ █████ ███ yknowv ███ ██████ ████ ███ ████ vweird. i dont vwanna ██ ████ ██ █ ████ ██ █████ ████ ██ ███ ████. or sometimes ██████ █████ ██████ ████ ████ █████ ███████████ and ill just be like ███ ████ ████ ███ ████ ██. yknowv this is ████ ███████ and more just ██ █████ ██████. i guess vwhat im saying is to degrade them █████ ████ ██ ██████ ██████ █████ ██ ██ ████ ██████ theyll still lovwe it. 「MANY ARE ASKING. ABOUT ALL THE ████████ ████. “IS SHE INTO ████.” I HEAR YOU CRY. IT TAKES AN ████████████ ████ IQ. TO █████ ██ MY ██████ █████████. AND GRIP THAT THICK THRASHING █████████████ NOODLE. BY THE BULGE. LIKE YOU’RE ██. ABOUT TO GET ████████ ███ ██ ███ ██████████████ █████ ███. FOR GILLGRABBING. LIKE ALL OTHER ME-RELATED MATTERS. IT IS A HIGH RISK GAME. A █████ KANKRI MIGHT ████████. AND █████ US BOTH TO █████. BUT A SKILLED PERFORMANCE. MIGHT JUST ████ YOU. THE ULTIMATE RELEASE ██ ██████ █████. AFTER I DE████████ AND ███████ YOU. SHORTLY AFTER SPILLING. SO YOU CANNOT TELL A SOUL OF WHAT YOU SAW. (damara got ahold of the sharpie there that vwas less bad before she touched it up.) CRONUS IS SAYING THE PEOPLE DEMAND A HINT. OK. OPEN A NEW TAB. AND TYPE IN #FUJOSHI. OR #NETORARE. OR #EROGURO. THESE ARE SOME. OF THE INCREDIBLY RARE. USEFUL EXPORTS OF BEFORUS. YOU ARE ENLIGHTENED NOW. YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.」 rating her and her and her and her and her and her bod: some fun vwariation here. sometimes you get a plank- owv fuck, sometimes you get slimthicc, sometimes you get absolute goddesses. sometimes all at once, the time shit is vweird. add onto just like, her body language, that predator drivwe, especially if you havwe the stones to turn her into prey? GOOD LUCK! HAA HAA! 10/10 vwariety: a surprising amount of vwariety actually, though i attribute that mostly to @handMaid here. vwevwe got eh ones, vwevwe got the kinksters, and vwe havwe the red roomers. add on the time stuff, the casteplay, maybe some miscommunication stuff- yes yes and the contraption. 10/10 ease: yes, but you dont get to choose howv. 11/10 personality: absolutely horrid. shes rotten, rancid, mean, a slut, a bitch, a cheater, kinda objectivwely evwil, and at vworst, boring. vwait no not you i mean the basic bubble bitches please no the contraption 10/10 ovwerall: 10/10. i am not being held under duress.
I still can't 8elieve Karkat took my door like some kind of angry fundamentalist human lusus. Classic Karkat!!!!!!!!
I agree wholeheartedly.
I'm going to receive some flack for ranking redpop so lowly, but when you've had it as many times as... ... ... Anyway.
Very well. So we are talking about it on feed. Excluding the non-carbonated Ohana line for what I hope are obvious reasons. --------- S --------- Rock & Rye. Creme Soda. Vanilla Creme Soda. Root Beer. Cotton Candy. Candy Apple. Bubble Pop. Super Pop. Firework. 60/40. It's 60-lime-40-grapefruit, to crack THAT caper. Dreamin. --------- A --------- Moon Mist Blue. Arctic Sun. Fruit Punch. Gold. --------- B --------- Grape. Jolly Green Apple. Black Cherry. Jazzin' Blues Berry. (You cannot taste the jazz. The berry is inoffensive.) Orange. Peach. Raspberry Blueberry. Pineapple. Pineapple Orange. Pineapple Watermelon. --------- C --------- Classic Redpop. Cola. Cherry Cola. Moon Mist classic. Twist. Ginger Ale. Dr. Faygo. --------- D --------- Tonic. Club Soda.
apologies its a habit a mine to make people regret their choices upon wwakin up
Feel the seabreeze, Karkat.
@carcinoGeneticist#4881 I'm sorry, okay???????? I'll m8ke sure to meticulously reheat that pie you got for me, slide it onto a silver platter, and figure out a way to wedge said platter 8etween my horns 8efore la8oriously crawling on hand and nu8 up to your fucking LAIR of a respite8lock and groveling, STILL PIZZA PANNED, MIND YOU, for your forgiveness! It was completely and utterly monstrous of me to go sample it right after you said I should keep my thieving claws off it, and I should have!!!!!!!! You're right. You just made it sound really good and I wanted to try it. So I'm sorry, okay?
The 'Good' Scratch had liked the writer's chit. He wasn't really good. He was a devil, he was Lucifer all the same. A battle of wits between two men and their pawns. Satan and himself argued, bickered like old married couples. One had most of his Felt at his side, the other had not. Ah, but who doesn't love a good anti-hero? Soley for the purpose of defeating the 'Good' Scratch. Those who claim they are the good ones tend to be the worst in many cases. #TheScript
WHOEVER THIS "ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR" IS, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE RUMBLESPHERE-TWISTING CONUNDRUM OF SIMULTANEOUSLY DELIGHT AND DISGUST AT YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THE CLEARLY RELIGIOUS, ALBEIT DISTURBINGLY *CHARGED* EXPERIENCE YOU HAD SMASHING YOUR SLAVERING MAW AGAINST THAT MOLTEN PUPA POOL OF PIPING HOT, DAIRY-THICK ENLIGHTENMENT. AND I WISH I COULDN'T. BUT READING THIS CAUSED THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH TO TICK *ONE* DEGREE UPWARD. I APPROVE.
I’M NOT KILLING PEOPLE. I’M KILLING BOYS. JENNIFER’S BODY. A CLASSIC TEEN DRAMA THRILLER THAT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO GET MYSELF NICE AND ACCLIMATED TO THE MURKY, SCUM-COVERED POOL WATER IN THE YMCA OF HORROR. THE TILE IS SLIMY AND IT SMELLS LIKE MILDEW IN HERE, BUT FUCK, I GUESS I’M GOING IN ANYWAY. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MANAGED TO— *DECIDED* TO— WATCH VIVARIUM FIRST, GIVEN THAT THE LEVEL OF “TERROR AND DREAD” IN THIS FILM WAS HARDLY WHAT IT WAS FOR THAT ONE. PERHAPS I DUNKED MY HEAD IN FIRST INTO THAT DREADFUL EXISTENTIAL BLACKNESS INSTEAD OF WALKING DOWN THE STEPS HOLDING THE RAILING AND MAYBE DONNING A SWIM CAP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. IF ONLY I KNEW THAT JENNIFER’S BODY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL, STRANGELY, A SIMILAR EMPTY ACHE. IT STARTS SIMPLE ENOUGH; JENNIFER AND NEEDY ARE TWO EARTH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHO ARE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. I COULD SEE THEM AS PALE, BUT THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE. NEEDY IS THIS HUGE DWEEB THAT EVERYONE IS ALWAYS QUESTIONING ABOUT HOW SOMEBODY LIKE JENNIFER— THE PRETTY CHEERLEADER— EVEN ACTUALLY LIKES HER. IT’S CLEAR THAT THE TWO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, AND HAVE AN ESTABLISHED BOND. THEY DECIDE ONE NIGHT TO GO OUT TO THIS LOCAL BAR (OR RATHER, JENNIFER CONVINCES NEEDY TO ABANDON HER SHITRINSER OF A MATESPRIT) TO SEE A ROCK BAND THAT’S PASSING THROUGH DEVIL’S KETTLE. THINGS GO WAY SOUTH WAY QUICK. THE BAR, DUE TO AN ACCIDENT OF SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT GOING HAYWIRE, GOES UP IN FLAMES. IT’S A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SHITFEST, NATURALLY, EVERYBODY SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BURNING AS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE CAUGHT IN A BURNING BUILDING. CLASSIC. JENNIFER IS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY THAT VERY GROUP OF MEN WHEN THEY ASK HER IF SHE AND NEEDY WANT TO COME WITH THEM TO THEIR *TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT CREEPY* ROCKER SCUTTLEBUGGY. NEEDY SAYS NO, BEGS FOR JENNIFER NOT TO FOLLOW, BUT BECAUSE SHE’S IN SHOCK FROM THE SHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED, SHE GOES WITHOUT PROTEST. AND THIS IS HOW JENNIFER ENDS UP BEING CHOSEN AS A “VIRGIN SACRIFICE” FOR A DEMONIC RITUAL ENACTED BY THE MEN FOR THE PURPOSES OF EVERLASTING FAME AND FORTUNE. I’M NOT SUPER FAMILIAR WITH THE HUMAN SIGNIFICANCE OF VIRGINITY, SO I HAD TO LOOK IT UP, AND WHAT A WEIRD PILE OF MISOGYNISTIC GARBAGE, FIRST OF ALL. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES FOR PERPETUATING SUCH A NOTION THAT HONESTLY FEELS PREDATORY AND FUCKING EVIL. I DIGRESS. BUT GET THIS! THIS IS WHERE SHIT HITS THE BREEZE BLENDER. THE RITUAL GOES INCORRECTLY, BECAUSE JENNIFER ISN’T A VIRGIN OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE OF THAT, THE DEMON THAT THE BAND WAS TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ATTACHES ITSELF TO HER INSTEAD, RESURRECTING HER AND MAKING A HOME ALONGSIDE HER SOUL. THIS GIVES HER AN INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR BLOOD AND VISCERA, WHICH DRIVES HER TO SEDUCE AND SUBSEQENTLY FEED OFF OF THE LIVING, STARTING WITH THE GROUP WHO PUT HER IN THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT SEEMS THAT WHILE SHE CAN’T CONTROL HER URGES TO FEED, SHE CAN CONTROL *WHO* SHE FEEDS ON, WHICH IS LUCKY FOR NEEDY, BECAUSE SHE REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN IN SOME HOT WATER WHEN JENNIFER SHOWED UP IN HER HOUSE COVERED IN BLOOD AND BILE HUNGRY AS FUCK AND ATE HER MOM’S ROTISSERIE CLUCKBEAST OUT OF THE THERMAL HULL. SO THE KILLINGS CONTINUE, AND NEEDY IS TRYING TO FIND A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS INSANE HORSESHIT BECAUSE SHE STILL DOESN’T QUITE GET THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF HER FRIEND AND THE MISSING BOYS THAT HAVE CROPPED UP TORN TO BITS IN THE DAYS AFTER. SOMEHOW. EVEN WHEN JENNIFER VISITS HER AT HOME AND SHOWS HER FLESH— HER TONGUE, TO BE EXACT— IS IMMUNE TO INJURY. IT ONLY CLICKS SHE VISITS THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND LEARNS ABOUT HUMAN OCCULT RITUALS AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS POSSESSED. IT CULMINATES, WHEN, ON THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, NEEDY FINDS HERSELF ABANDONED BY HER CHIP AND REALIZES THAT JENNIFER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR LEADING HIM ASTRAY. NEEDY FINDS HER IN AN ABANDONED POOL HOUSE WITH HER MATESPRIT HALF-ALIVE, AND THEY HAVE A SHOWDOWN, WHICH LEAVES NEEDY ALIVE WITH A FEW SCRATCHES AND CHIP DEAD. NEEDY HUNTS JENNIFER DOWN THAT NIGHT, AND KILLS HER IN HER CHILDHOOD BEDROOM. THIS IS WHAT LANDS NEEDY IN PRISON, WHICH IS WHERE THE STORY STARTED US OFF. THE ACTUAL UNDERLYING NARRATIVE OF JENNIFER’S BODY, IF YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION (I.E. IF YOU HAVE A PULSE AND ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A FART NIBLET LOLLING ABOUT ON YOUR LOBE STEM) IS REALLY… SAD. THE USE OF SEDUCTION TO ENTRAP THE UNSUSPECTING HAMBEASTS THAT FALL INTO HER CLUTCHES IS A VERY, *VERY* INTENTIONAL PLOT DEVICE. THE WHOLE REASON SHE’S EVEN IN THIS POSITION IS NOT OF HER OWN VOLITION; SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED FROM A BAR FIRE AND THEN ROUNDED UP BY A GROUP OF PREDATORS WHO WANTED TO USE HER *BODY* FOR A RITUAL THAT ENDED UP GOING HAYWIRE. SEE? EVEN DOWN TO THE TITLE. I FEEL LIKE I’M CONNECTING SOME DOTS HERE FOR YOU HOPEFULLY. IT’S ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR CHOICES THAT SHE’S NOW STRUNG UP WITH A CURSE THAT SHE CAN NEVER QUELL. A POSSESSION THAT SHE CAN’T CONQUER, LEST SOMEBODY FREE HER FROM IT. WHICH LEADS ME TO NEEDY. THE RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDY AND JENNIFER MAINTAIN IS ALSO OF INTEREST TO ME. I’VE INTENTIONALLY SKIPPED A FEW PIECES OF THE SYNOPSIS TO COME BACK TO THIS EXPLANATION HERE. THERE’S THIS SWEEPING UNDERCURRENT OF INNATE CONNECTION THAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE HISTORICALLY SHARED. THE WATCHER IS PRIVY TO SOME FLASHBACKS ABOUT THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY WERE WIGGLERS, AND INCLINATIONS TO THEIR FRIENDSHIP UP TO NOW. THERE’S NO DENYING THAT THEY’RE BONDED LIKE I SAID BEFORE, BUT HOW DEEP DOES IT REALLY GO? THE STORY DOESN’T SPELL IT OUT, BUT WE CAN HYPOTHESIZE. THE FIRST SCENE I’LL GIVE MENTION TO IS WHEN NEEDY AND CHIP ARE DOING A HUMAN MATING RITUAL, AND JENNIFER IS ABOUT TO TEAR COLIN, THAT SAD EMO KID, APART TO EAT HIM. WE GET A DISTURBING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CHIP AND NEEDY DOING WHATEVER THEY’RE DOING (AND GOD, DOES IT LOOK DRY) AND JENNIFER TEARING COLIN LIMB FROM LIMB. WHILE THIS HAPPENS, NEEDY HALLUCINATES BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THE CEILING AND SHE FLIPS HER EVERLOVING SHIT. THAT EVENING, WHEN NEEDY IS SAFE AND SOUND IN BED, JENNIFER SNEAKS IN AND PROCEEDS TO SEDUCE HER. AND DON’T GET ME WRONG, I THINK THIS PART WAS LIKELY A BIT OF A GRAB FOR THE AUDIENCE WHO WANT TO DROOL AT TWO HOT HUMAN GIRLS SWAPPING SPIT, BUT I ALSO THINK THAT JENNIFER WAS TRYING TO SHOW NEEDY HER ABILITIES IN AN ATTEMPT AT… CAMARADERIE? WARNING SIGNAL? IT WASN’T WITH THE INTENT TO EAT HER LIKE ALL THE OTHERS, THAT’S FOR SURE. AND IT’S AT THIS POINT THAT WE LEARN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO JENNIFER THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE, WHICH TINGES THIS WHOLE SCENE BLUE FOR ME. JENNIFER IS *SAD*. SHE HERSELF WAS KILLED, RIPPED APART, FLAYED OPEN, AND SO IT FUCKING SERVES THEM ALL RIGHT THAT THE DEMON THAT OVERTOOK HER IS HELPING HER ENACT REVENGE. AND THIS, FURTHERMORE, IS WHY SHE REPEATEDLY SPARES NEEDY, TIME AFTER TIME. JENNIFER DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO HURT ANYONE, BUT *ESPECIALLY* NOT THE ONE PERSON IN HER LIFE THAT SEEMS TO TRULY LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER THAN SUPERFICIALLY. THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF PITY CONNECTION THAT CAN’T EVEN BE SEVERED BY A DEMONIC PRESENCE. DAMN, WISH I HAD SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. WHO TYPED THAT LAST SENTENCE. MOVING ON. THE FINAL SCENE WITH JENNIFER PRESENT IS THE OTHER IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE. NEEDY HUNTS HER DOWN AFTER SHE KILLS CHIP, AND THE TWO HAVE A BRAWL IN JENNIFER’S BEDROOM. IT ENDS WHEN NEEDY DISARMS HER BY BREAKING HER “BFF” NECKLACE, AND IT IS THIS ACTION THAT HELPS NEEDY TAKE THAT FINAL SWING AND STAB HER IN THE HEART. THE TWO OF THEM HAVE THIS, DARE I SAY, TENDER MOMENT AS JENNIFER TAKES HER LAST BREATHS. AS SHE EXHALES FOR THE LAST TIME, HER PALLOR RETURNS TO WHAT IT ONCE WAS, AS IF THE DEMON WERE FINALLY PROPERLY EXORCISED. IT’S A MERCY KILLING AS MUCH AS IT IS AN AVENGEMENT. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. AND STILL, THAT FEELING LINGERS. JENNIFER WAS A GIRL THAT ULTIMATELY, DESERVED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT HAPPENED TO HER. AND SHE FUCKING DIED FOR IT ANYWAY. THEN, NEEDY, HER BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, CONTINUES HER LEGACY AND REVENGE SPREE, IF ONLY TO RESPECT THE MEMORY OF HER DEAREST FRIEND. NEEDY IS PULLED INTO THE WAVES TOO. THE RIPPLE EFFECT IS BIGGER THAN JUST JENNIFER. IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE THING YOU’VE EVER WATCHED OR HEARD, YOU NEED YOUR GANDERBULBS AND AURALDUCTS CHECKED. YES, IT’S CAMPY AND A BIT KETCHUP-BLOODY. YES, IT USES LANGUAGE THAT 6 YEAR OLD ME WOULD HAVE USED AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY BEAT PAST KARKAT UP FOR LATER. IT’S OBVIOUSLY OF ITS TIME, AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT WILL CHANGE THAT. HOWEVER. NON OF THAT NEGATES THE FACT THAT THIS IS A NARRATIVE ABOUT ONE’S CHOICES AND HOW THEY CAN DESTROY ANOTHER’S LIFE. AND MORE SPECIFICALLY, HOW MEN’S DELIBERATE DECISIONS CAN AFFECT WOMEN. IT’S HUGELY ALLEGORICAL FOR THE WAY MANY SOCIETIES OPERATE NOW, WHETHER IT’S MISOGYNY OR CASTEISM OR WHATEVER OTHER PIECE OF SOCIOLOGICAL CONCEPT YOU WANT TO PUT THE LENS ON IT WITH. I THINK THIS FILM GETS A DISTORTED AND UNEARNED PERSPECTIVE PLACED ON IT BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION. FOUR STARS. KILL MORE BOYS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/7AFCA7A64B23.JPEG #BLOOD #SUGGESTIVE MAYBE
that really hurts man
next time can you record yourself eatin the pizza an smackin your lips slowwly
it is not prying you weirdo! its called making little connections with other people!! its fun!!!
T9night, I w9uld like t9 9pen up a discussi9n 9n the t9pic 9f repenting. T9 start 9ff, I w9uld like t9 pr9vide a disclaimer that, despite the religi9us c9nn9tati9n this term 9ften carries, it is imp9rtant t9 keep in mind g9ing f9rward that repentance is a wh9lly secular practice that any pers9n 9r n9n-pers9n identifying individual can participate in. I, f9r example, f9ll9w n9 religi9n 9r faith, 6ut I am a 6ig pr9p9nent 9f this idea and 6elieve m9re pe9ple w9uld 6e 6etter 9ff if they did as well. 6ut what d9es it mean t9 repent, y9u may 6e w9ndering? Well, Meriam-We6str defines repenting as "t9 feel regret 9r c9ntriti9n", 9r, "t9 change 9ne's mind". In 9ther w9rds, repentance, 9r metan9ia, means t9 rec9gnize when y9u have d9ne, th9ught, 9r felt s9mething wr9ng and t9 make a c9nsci9us eff9rt t9 change y9ur acti9ns, th9ughts, 9r feelings f9r the 6etter. If y9u want t9 lead a m9rally just life 9r unlife, as y9u sh9uld, y9u need t9 6e familiar with repenting f9r y9ur misdeeds when they 9ccur. N9ne 9f us are exempt fr9m accidentally (9r willfully) engaging in pr96lematic 6ehavi9rs, s9 when it d9es 9ccur, it's imp9rtant t9 kn9w what must 6e d9ne in 9rder t9 make up f9r said 6ehavi9rs. T9 ch99se an example that sh9uld appeal t9 the 6r9adest dem9graphic 9f Chittrers p9ssi6le, (warnings here f9r the f9ll9wing upc9ming t9pics: #NSFW #NSFWMenti9n #Impr9perSexual6ehavi9r) let's say y9u have recently engaged in an illicit dalliance with s9me9ne that y9u n9w regret 6ecause the act 9f this af9rementi9ned dalliance g9es against y9ur pers9nal c9nvicti9ns. Th9ugh this was wr9ng 9f y9u, 6ecause y9u sh9uld always stick firmly t9 y9ur pers9nal 6eliefs especially in times 9f weakness, 6y rec9gnizing that this acti9n was indeed wr9ng, y9u have already taken the first step 9n the path t9 pers9nal redempti9n. I'm s9 pr9ud 9f y9u (in a plat9nic way s9 as t9 n9t imply an unc9mf9rta6le sense 9f familiarity with y9u). Y9ur next step w9uld 6e t9 c9nfess, 9r admit t9, y9ur wr9ngd9ings t9 a trusted individual, pr9vided this individual is mentally and/9r em9ti9nally equipped t9 deal with what may end up 6eing a heavy t9pic. I rec9mmend reaching 9ut t9 a m9irail (9r a m9irailsprit, kismerail, ausprail, kismerailsprit, etc.), a cl9se plat9nic friend, a terr9rpist, an an9nym9us c9nfessi9ns 6l9g, 9r even a Chittr p9st, th9ugh wisd9m and guidance can c9me in many m9re f9rms than just this sh9rt list. In a6sence 9f any 9f the a69ve, y9u may als9 reach 9ut t9 me. As a self-app9inted and 9thers-app9inted th9ughtleader, I will 6ravely take 9n the mantle 9f 6eing a pr9ver6ial ear f9r y9u t9 c9nfess t9 if y9u have n9 9ne else t9 turn t9, 9r if I'm y9ur first ch9ice in c9nfidant, that w9uld 6e appreciated as well. Regardless 9f what f9rm it manifests, it's imperative n9t t9 let y9ur feelings 9f guilt fester, as 69ttling them up inside will weigh heavily 9n y9ur #MentalHealth. After c9nfessi9n c9mes what may 6e the trickiest part, alth9ugh I d9n't want t9 make any assumpti9ns (#Assumpti9ns) 9n y9ur 6ehalf. I 9nly say this 6ecause I kn9w a l9t 9f tr9lls with str9ng senses 9f pride that make this difficult f9r them. This is when y9u ap9l9gize t9 the 9ffended parties, if applica6le, and t9 y9urself. In 9ur given example, y9u w9uld ap9l9gize t9 y9ur affair partner that y9u have 6etrayed y9ur 9wn values 6y inv9lving them in such a salaci9us act. (If any9ne needs tips 9n h9w t9 appr9priately ap9l9gize t9 s9me9ne else f9r the err9rs 9f 9ne's ways, I will make a f9ll9w up p9st if en9ugh interest is expressed.) Remem6er that y9u are n9t entitled t9 f9rgiveness, n9r sh9uld y9u ap9l9gize with the s9le intent t9 6e f9rgiven. Y9u are d9ing it 6ecause it's the right thing t9 d9 regardless. 9nce this is d9ne, 9r if there is n9 additi9nal party y9u need t9 ap9l9gize t9, y9u can then ap9l9gize t9 y9urself. As l9ng as y9u truly 6elieve y9ur 9wn s9rr9w, y9u may f9rgive y9urself. Lastly, 6ut m9st crucially, y9u must res9lve y9urself t9 change y9ur mindset *and* y9ur 6ehavi9r and never make the same mistake twice. Th9ugh this s9unds self-explanat9ry, I'll explain it anyway f9r th9se 9f y9u f9r wh9m "self-explanat9ry" rarely ever is. What this means is f9r y9u t9 c9mmit t9 turning away fr9m the negative acti9n, th9ught, 9r feeling that y9u c9mmitted earlier and replacing the 6ehavi9r with s9mething p9sitive. In 9ur example, s9me9ne struggling with inappr9priate sexual desires might ch99se instead t9 find healthier 9utlets f9r their desires, such as ch99sing t9 9nly engage in intimate relati9ns with dedicated quadrantmates 9r a6staining fr9m all f9rms 9f sexual activity and instead channeling that frustrati9n int9 an educati9nal pursuit 9r a practical h966y like knitting. Whatever y9ur res9luti9n is, the key is t9 c9mmit y9urself t9 it s9 y9u can keep living 9r unliving y9ur life 9r unlife free 9f pr96lematic 6ehavi9r g9ing f9rward. If y9u'd like t9 kn9w m9re 9r need s9me9ne t9 c9nfess t9, feel free t9 leave a c9mment 6el9w. Additi9nally, my DMs are currently 9pen. Happy repenting, every9ne. #Repentance #Metan9ia #F9rgiveness #Guilt #Shame #Menti9ns9fReligi9n #ReclaimedTerms
it was möre öf f a sugegsstiön nöt me acatually trying tö yknöw HELP cönsöslre yöu örsömething just mayabe a little chill
oKAY, i DIDN'T HAVE ONE, i JUST WANTED TO KNOW, tHANK YOU,
i wasnt trying two fight?? s0rry you cant handle a guy having a different opini0n because a sudden fucking CRUNCH of flav0r that completely overp0wers everything else kind of fucks with my delici0us savory meat and cheese.
It's called ripping the adhesive wound-sticker off, Karkat. We're making sure that when the time comes (and it WILL come, trust me) Kanaya is confident and ready to strut her stuff. The more she lets things air out, the 8etter the wounds will heal. If she keeps it all suppressed inside, it'll rot her pusher!
hMM,,, mAYBE i AM HUNGRY?
i too expect my pickles to resist me but thats really hard for them naturally
I have been engaged in a week-long campaign of psychological battle against a trained enemy, and while we were at a standstill for a while, I have finally emerged victorious. I now own good curtains.
please it would give me so much more insight goofy movie loving pizza ranting boy
concept: kisses everywhere other than the lips watching them with fluttering breath as their lips press to each of your knuckles turning your hand over to kiss your palm up over your wrists forearm to bicep teeth grinding over your shoulder to end with a trail of kisses over your collarbone giving your neck a few marks before pressing their lips to your cheeks your nose gliding to each side to peck your ears one for each horn before the dip lower chest ribs stomach each hip bone tongue teasing over your thighs as you feel a laugh rumble against your skin when they begin to zone in on the ache between them they go lower before giving it to you your knees to your ankles guiding your foot up to their lips to kiss the back lips pressing to each toe reverently as they stare up at you with a small smile returning to the top to start all over again (tags: Reader/Anonymous, #rankworks, body worship, flushpale, flushcoded, palecoded, pale pails, overstimulation, teasing, for the yearners, #nsfw, suggestive but thats not the point of this one if im being honest with you, <><3, quadsmearing, troll/troll, archive rating: M)
#megidomay day 16 start digging a hole! tomorrow #megidomay day 17 you will all be #postinghole (tags: #megidomay, the biggest might get a prize, 0u0, archive rating: G)
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/DG921KCS/HOLE.GIF #MEGIDOMAY #HOLE #POSTINGHOLE. IN HONOR OF @ARCHIVEADDICT. I DID SOME CHAOS ON BEFORUS. INSTEAD OF STAYING IN MY USUAL LANE. WON'T BE HAPPENING AGAIN. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS "TOO EASY." AND THAT'S COMING FROM ME.
thats what you think theyre gonna light you up like terezi did to lemonsnout
Ha Ha Yeah Its Completely Stupid I Agree There But Either Way That Was A Actual Valid Rage For Once
an eternity - and i mean motherfucking eternity - in the vwoid couldnt stop me. your cavwetroll wveaponry sure as hell cant
youre so close minded
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 6: alternian vwantas #notgay #nsfwv #nsfvwe #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #casteplay #hemoism #cagttl hear me out. infinite timelines infinite possibilities. and in many of them karkat is a hot babe. there are a lotta iterations, im gonna default to using the name kat, because thats the cutest nickname for her. this is *not* about dudekats, okay? this is about bbwv cutie mutie tsunderes. thats vwhat vwere here for, okay? this is some rule 63 shit. is that problematic to say? ehh wvhatewver. vwere gonna talk about hovw to get into the swveatpants of a girlkat. first order of business: if she aint at least curwvy, back off, iwve newver seen a skinny kat vwhos up for anything. youre looking a girl wvith meat on her bones. chubby cheeks too, preferably constantly blushing wvhenewver you say anything to her. if she starts on a super long and gross rant before you ewven start touching her up then shes probably a lost cause. vwhat wvere looking for is the sorta vwindbag wvholl say a lotta nothing and get herself vworked up, but doesnt actually argue vwith anything you say. she might evwen be outright flattered but tell you to piss off anyvways. dont let up. kats are usually pretty receptiwve to the wvombo combo of feeling em up vwhile wvhispering all sorts of swveet nothings in her ear at the same time. makes em melt. on that note, some of the adwvice here is similar for vwhat i said for aradia. kats a mutie, bright red blood, spoiler vwarning, sorry. makes her the perfect sub for some casteplay. pretty much all of em are secretly into it, sometimes so secretly evwen they dont knowv about it. say enough about like, their bodys real purpose, or hovw theyre meant to serwve highbloods, or vwhatevwer other shit pops into your pan, and shell be all yours. this gal is total cullbait, in the beforan sense, obwviously. shes wvound all nice and tight, she just wvants to be taken care of. i dont wvanna giwve eridans too much credit, but you see that one pic of a kar and eridan floating around, the proud grub raisers? yeah, thats basically any girlkats vwet dream. shovw her you can giwve that to her. okay, but vwhats your in? wvell, theyll tolerate more than youd expect, because they cravwe material to insult you ovwer. be unashamed, be seedy, let her get comfortable. she already assumes youre a loser, dont dissuade her of that until its too late. no one really listens to her yap, so you gotta pretend to listen. maybe giwve her an honest compliment about hovw clewver she is, as honest as you can manage anywvays, that alvways kills. she knovws her team doesnt respect her. be the slightly older masculine figure that showvs her respect, and listens to her, and thinks shes so cool, and oop youvwe got your hands up her svweater and shes ready to say please. [my legal team redacted parts of the next para, im vworking on rectifying this wvith em] novw uhh, this last bit, dunno if i can ewven say it. like, legally speaking. just... karkats tend to havwe some █████ ████████████ vwith ██████. you can use that. this comes up like, a lot vwith karkats. its the ████ ████ as the █████ █████, shovw her ████ ███ ██████ ████ ███ ██████. shes ███████ █████ ███████ ████, make her ███ ██ ███. shes ███████ ██ ███ ████, make her feel good, make her ██████████ ███ ██████ █████. shell be so much happier ██ ███ ███████ ████ ████ █ ████, ██ ███ ███████ ████ shes your girl. a collar goes wvell vwith any girl, ███ ████ ████ ██████████. ███ ███ ██ ███ shell be in lovwe wvith you forevwer. cutie mutie ratings bod: the good ones are alwvays chubby. not alvways my thing, but damn she makes it vwork. they dress frumpy too but again, she makes it wvork. a kat in leggings alvways gets me. 8/10 vwvwariety: as much as i enjoy her, youll go owver the same beats again and again. theyre fun beats, but like... i dunno, if more of em could yap this wvould be higher. 7/10 ease: holy shit for all her posturing shes the most sensitivwe troll there is. one touch and shell wvanna fall to her knees. 10/10 personality: get some earplugs. absolutely adorable, and i lowve breaking dovwn the angry types into blushing ingenues, but it can still be a bit much. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. for all my nitpicks, vwhat i am really complaining about? girlkats a busty mutant vwith a fat ass and loads of hemospectrum related issues that you can svwoop in to exploit. alwvays a rare treat.
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Sometimes…I can’t sleep without holding onto a mothewefucker!
How are you shocked for him?
AT LEAST I DON'T SPAM SHOUTPOLES LIKE I'M A WIGGLER LAUGHING AT MY OWN JOKES. FUCKASS. GAME ON.
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dj hypno at the club wants bambi to drop like the beat #nsfw
how can i be surrounded by so many wonderful people (both in my universe AND on here!) and still feel lonely? :( #vagueposting
promise? :p
￣\ look it up, dawg. don't be ignorant /￣
:)
guess we’re going on a grave ro88ing mission huh >::::)
∙☾__☽ uugggghhh lame ̶f̶ucking all these grrey text have been so borring whateverr
Excuse me! This is my corner of cereal enjoyment. ꫂ❁lease mind your business. ❣︎
Hello Chittr :) I like the Sꫂ❁ecial K with dried berries in it ❣︎
I'M ONE STEP FROM TOTAL BLACKOUT UNCONSCIOUSNESS. I NEED A CUPE LIKE A NEED A PNEUMATIC DRILL THROUGH THE HEAD. EXPEDITIOUSLY. GOOD LIGHT.
I w9uld appreciate it if y9u were m9re supp9rtive 9f my endeav9rs, h9wever, I d9 n9t expect y9u t9 understand h9w imperative it is t9 share my kn9wledge acr9ss this app. Seeing that the clear need 9f trigger tagging needs t9 6e fixed and the c9mments needing clear edit p9wer t9 fix trigger warnings and typ9s alike. #TW #TRIGGERWARNING #EDIT #SUPP9RT #TAGGING
B33 < out of respect fur you im not going to look fur the thread B33 < but also lol B33 < lmeow even
awwwww karkats a widdle shy <3
I DID Ϟ𒊹t G🝗τ τRapPed IN PᵘRg🝛tOry for τhΞ eNTIRΞͲY �🝝 τhΞ βaskΞτBαLl T𒊹urnEy TO gΣτ (🝛lleD ∫TᵘpId.
Yes, g99dness f9r6id I chime in 9n a pu6lic c9nversati9n that menti9ns me 6y name 9n a pu6lic platf9rm. I'm *96vi9usly* the 9ne c9mmitting an act 9f rudeness here. #Sarcasm If y9u d9n't wish f9r pe9ple t9 have 9pini9ns a69ut the things y9u say a69ut them and attempt t9 c9rrect y9ur misgivings, I rec9mmend m9ving y9ur c9nversati9n s9mewhere m9re private. 9r, 6etter yet, keeping 9ther pe9ple's names 9ff 9f y9ur fr9ndstu6s in the first place.
OH NO!!!! th' mortifying NEED TO BE KNOWN BY OTHERS! it's RIGHT BEHIND YOU! IT NEVER LEAVES!
thanks babe i mean they that means a lot <3
damn guess ill go find another hot piece of ass to rail instead mb #nsfw
Something I've never once 8een known for!
D --> Far from it. Time has only served to make me weary and worried. I'm not a wellness coach, just hoping for the best for someone I regret not treating like a friend when I had the chance.
exactly!! >:D
yaaaaay thank you!!! thats high praise coming from you :D
"all i would bring to the table is something meaningful and kind"
@gynarchsGoverness UNREAL HEIRESS, I WILL NOT COMMISSION YOU AN ANDROID CHASSIS. STOP SENDING ME THIS FUCKING IMAGE. #nsfw I am pretty sure. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3b3457465b20.jpg
My gay husband. My disco ball and chain, if you will.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/5c7b57c37ec1.png
Finally, someone gets it. This is the subversive full-circle schlock everyone has been waiting for. A woman... wait for it... drumroll... and a man.
Maybe the real yaoi was the heterosexuality we found along the way.
It's daring. It's subversive. We are sitting our fat keisters on a nuclear meltdown quantity of potential, here. Entirely unrealized.
woof :)
WOOOOOOOW, 4ND 1 C4N’T 3V3N S33 YOU B4CK, HOW RUD3!!!!! SO PR3JUD1C3D 4G41NST BL1ND G1RLS TH4T 1S 4 JOK3 B3FOR3 YOU G3T 4LL PUFFY 4ND M4D L1K3 4 FURB34ST <3
W44444H W44444H YOUR FOMO T4ST3S SO SOUR MR. SOUR P4NTS MCG33
hmmm.... ill accept your witty riposte THIS time, mr vantas, but when next we meet victory shall be mine! >:D
you asked if you should. nnot a reasonn you shouldnnt.
D --> You directly stated that not being 100d on main is something deserving of less respect than being openly 100d D --> This implies that you believe it is bad to be private about one's se%001 affairs D --> If that is not what you are saying then you should rephrase your statement D --> For it is not declaring that you find people who complain about other's 100dness problematic, but the act of not being 100d in and of itself
hehehehehe i at least got some kind of reaction out of you :B
This wasn't a choice
man, g0 fuck y0urself. literally, g0 fuck an0ther karkat. just let me make j0kes ab0ut my c0mically depressed ass with0ut turning it int0 a huge fucking issue g0d.
I've embarrassed his descendant spawn. My job is done.
n0, i think the perf0rmance 0f my chitts definitely says a l0t ab0ut my inherent value as a pers0n and h0w i need t0 cull myself. put y0ur pityg0ggles away f0r a sec0nd. i'm 0bvi0usly being faceti0us.
dynamics dynamics dynamics :p
B// < at least answer the question vantas
man that sucks anyways hi karkat B>
3833 < You gotta wear a helmet then! > 3833 < Statues are slippery. >
not in the mood for dealing with your nonsense today >:(
You get used to it
a relligious rituall event
Never You are stuck with me forever :)
Glub glub OOOOO!
TIME SHINANIGANS SEEM THE MOST PROMINENT FEATURE OF THIS PLACE, YOUR ONLY GOING TO GET MORE OF A MIGRANE TRYING TO PIECE EVERYTHING TOGETHER.