ARQUIUSPRITE
@aRquiusprite
Show me your muscles. Weaklings DNI
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠! A proud, family-managed enterprise operating outside the boundaries of narrative stability, the Felt is looking to renew an expansion initiative under the continued supervision of myself, pending direct oversight by Lord English of multiversal destruction fame. Applicants are encouraged to review the following qualifications before submission. Our standards are exacting. Applicants are expected to exhibit a certain cultivated flair. We are not interested in recruiting common goons who grunt through their problems akin to bovines wandering into traffic. We seek individuals with presence. Those among you who understand that presentation is not ancillary to violence, but rather violence's elegant twin sibling. A proper Felt operative should be capable of entering a room and causing discomfort or envy without speaking a single word. The best among you will manage it without even entering the room. Experience with temporal anomalies, organized tactics, occult practices, cue sports, assassination, extortion, psychological warfare, or narrative manipulation is preferred. Applicants capable of violating causality in a pleasing manner are especially encouraged to apply. Do not be embarrassed to specify your supernatural or otherwise absurd gimmick. Naturally, some may inquire as to workplace expectations. The only real requirement is professionalism. The Felt is an institution that values decorum, punctuality, and loyalty. One should arrive to assignments properly dressed, armed, and psychologically prepared for the possibility that one's coworkers possess foreknowledge of one's own death. Such circumstances should not interfere with productivity. You will find the work stimulating. At times, literally so. Gunfire is common, alongside paradoxes, doomed timelines, eldritch encounters, internal betrayals, and long stretches of deeply uncomfortable silence shared between dangerous individuals in suits so expensive entire civilizations had to culminate and work themselves to death to produce them. The benefits package is exceedingly generous. Employees receive a wardrobe stipend sufficient to maintain the organization's dignified chromatic standards. Resurrection leave is provided where applicable. Dental coverage remains available in stable timelines. You will enjoy access to private galas, exclusive social functions, and networking opportunities with aristocrats, immortals, and monsters of social standing. Few organizations offer advancement opportunities capable of transcending time itself. Some applicants may express concern regarding upward mobility. You will discover the Felt embraces meritocracy with admirable sincerity. Demonstrate your competence, survive impossible odds, assassinate your targets in a stylish manner, and your ambition will be rewarded. Of course, failure is punished. You will be guided, observed, curated, and cultivated with the same care one might apply to an ornamental species in a gilded laboratory. The Felt does not inherently promise safety, morality, or psychological wellbeing. What I offer is vastly more valuable. Importance. After all, obscurity is the closest thing your species has to true death.
Is it an entry level position or are we on par with Arquius?
◥▶◀◤ —> I am the f100rmat.
◥▶◀◤ —> They pay? Hrn. I should speak to Doc Scratch about this.
◥▶◀◤ —> I wonder why I am chosen.
◥▶◀◤ —> Is that Jesus Christ?
◥▶◀◤ —> Chittr. I need directions.
◥▶◀◤ —> Breastie. It has been ages.
◥▶◀◤ —> How are you?
god i need to be bred so bad #nsfw
◥▶◀◤ —> Unlikely.
oh... hey...~
◥▶◀◤ —> Ah. Hello.
what brings you to this thread, handsome?
◥▶◀◤ —> Your estrus induced mania summons me like a mustang to freshly sourced oats.
... wanna come over?
◥▶◀◤ —> Perhaps this can be arranged.
:) come over now!
◥▶◀◤ —> As you request. I will travel onwards towards your hive. My STRONG sense of restraint will be tested.
- Ok I understand the appeal p'of mmuscle theater now
◥▶◀◤ —> Yes. Yes. Yes. You are now engaged in my humble watch party.
;) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/08f5c7cb1f99.png #nsfw #selfie
◥▶◀◤ —> Neither do I.
hello! 0u0/ what have i missed?
◥▶◀◤ —> Me, perhaps.
that one tights trend ;3 #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3e7122de8ffc.png
◥▶◀◤ —> D@&%.
o btdubz heres the pic (tysm @tipsyGalactica 4 the epic photoshoot) they shodul put us in a calendar https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/be0cbad3d06b.png #suggestive
◥▶◀◤ —> Breasties.
◥▶◀◤ —> Upon investigation. He is actually just a Chestie. There is a distinct lack of breast. His pectorals, as a result, rate a 3/10.
i waz wearin a binder ofc my tiddes wouldnt b tiddin
◥▶◀◤ —> I do not care if you have trading cards on hand.
im as much a enlightened skeptic as the next eridan but it comes to a certain point wwhere you got to look at all the frolicsome reality bendin capers wwe get up to and the fact that i got flippin superpowwers and recognize that evven if theres some mechanistic material explanation of howw im evvokin death rays from my fingertips or conjurin brain ghost eridans its really just a matter a howw youre wwillin to portray yourself in light a that all this to say magic is real and im a wwizard there i said it #vvaguechit
◥▶◀◤ —> You're a sorcerer. Actually.
1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 N33D TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3 1 H4T3 TH4T STUP1D HORS3
◥▶◀◤ —> There are no stupid horses.
◥▶◀◤ —> That sounds as though you need to talk through the issue with him amicably. He is not a stupid horse.
◥▶◀◤ —> I really hope you aren't talking about me, I should add.
◥▶◀◤ —> Oh then no worries.
H3 1S STUP1D 4ND 4 HORS3 TH3R3FOR3 4 STUP1D HORS3, 4LSO TH3R3 1S NO "1SSU3" TO T4LK THROUGH
◥▶◀◤ —> Sounds as though you are being a bit foalish right now.