Evening.
GOOD EVENING. I HAVE A QUESTION FOR A TROLL WHO I'M SURE HAS A LONG AND STORIED HISTORY OF WADING THROUGH THE ENTAILS OF VIOLENT BLUBBERBEASTS. HOW DO YOU REMOVE THE SMELL OF A SEA MONSTER'S DIGESTIVE SAC FROM CLOTHES.
You will require two main ingredients, that 8eing salt and vinegar which will likely 8e loc8ted in your galley as most flavourings of use shall 8e. First, rinse the garments in cold seawater, never hot water as the heat drives the oils and stink deeper into cloth. Simply fill a 8arrel with water, add a scandalous amount of coarse salt and leave the clothes soak overlight. You can then add vinegar wash, as it murders odours magnificently. Sailors used it to scru8 decks and wounds. If you are on land, you can purchase lye soap and scru8 into anywhere the fluids have pooled and rinse repeatedly. Then hang the garments during the dawning hours of sunrise. Depending on how awful the stench, it may require several evenings. Remove the garment out of the sunlight 8efore it makes direct contact with the sun, lest you want it to 8urn holes in your garment.
fire
THE MOST UNHELPFUL GARBAGE SHLOCK EVER TO BURN MY GANDERBULBS. I HOPE YOU APPLY THIS TECHNIQUE TO YOUR CLOTHES WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN THEM.
One would hardly equ8te the 'Imperial' ethos with 8enevolence. On the contrary, a simple gesture of assistance is often perceived as an act of re8ellion.
FUCK ME FOR SPUTTERING OUT THE HUMAN IDIOM EQUIVALENT OF "CROWN JEWELS" IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WITH A VERNACULAR SO OLD IT'S FOSSILIZED IN FUCKING LIMESTONE. "HOPE THE NOOSE CATCHES YOU ON THE WAY OUT," THEN. OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU SAY TO A PIRATE IN OPEN REBELLION TO VALIDATE HER.
You have a 8ite that is familiar of crewm8tes passed, there is a vitality in you that has all 8ut vanished from these modern places, you should hold onto it. I write in a modern language as you, with the exception of avoiding those wretched shorthand that plague current convers8tions. However, my early writings, those hatched in the twelve sweeps 8C '8efore Condescension's (Reign)' 8ear the tongue of Old Alternian. 8efore you ask, S)(e existed in '8C' 8ut only as a heiress. It is the way of our history, that when a throne is seized 8y its successor, time itself is reframed, leaving those previous sweeps ruled 8y the former Empress to 8e defined only 8y the shadow of the one who follows.
TO USE THE REPUGNANT JARGON OF *MY* HATCH BATCH'S VERNACULAR, OUR HISTORY TEXTBOOKS ONLY GET REBOOTS. NEVER SEQUELS. BUT I MIGHT AS WELL BE SPEAKING INCOMPREHENSIBLE STUTTERING GIBBERISH GIVEN THAT I'M TALKING TO A WOMAN WHOSE PROFILE PICTURE IS A BOOK. HAVE YOU EVEN *SEEN* A MOVIE?