DID YOU KNOW — [a young man with a stupid haircut stands in a grocery store aisle. it just so happens that today is his big audition for total drama island. though it was 10 years ago he was given a name it is only today that he will be given his big break.] i'm nuke troyer and this is my audition for @starpower and @gutsygumshoe on total! drama! islaaaaand! okay tedi release the newts. [a tsunami milk floods the aisle, at least you certainly hope it's milk, carrying brightly colored newts with floaties in with it. nuke still stands there, proud and steadfast having braved the wave of dairy.] five, six, seven, eight! [the sprawled out amphibians leap up at his call, getting into uniformed lines as a funky beat plays on an off screen boombox. it has to be off screen because the music sounds too shitty and tinny to have been edited in. nuke's legs twist to and fro with a couple of stompy dance moves, newts synchronized with him (kind of). the squeak of wet sneakers and splashy piddles of webbed feet fight toe for toe with the song. a few grocery store patrons try to enter the aisle but quickly turn away the second their eyes catch the atrocity lain before them.. all it takes is one newt slipping up on their choreo to cause chaos. like squishy little dominoes one slips on the wet floor and splats down belly first, not a thought behind its eyes as it slides slowly into the next one, toppling the coordinated line one by one until it reaches nuke. his ankle is clipped mid hop and nuke falls to the ground face first, camera following his descent. quickly, he twists around to lie on his side breakdancer style and flash a wink at the camera. his nose is bleeding and turning the inch of milk below him a gross pink.] if you want thomeone with a gogetter attitude and rethiliant mind, choothe me! nuke out!— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!