BREAKING NEWS! @c#annelsixsixsixNews doesn’t know w#at #e’s talking about! I mean, wow! Late to t#e game and a sore loser? I can’t imagine! And #e doesn’t even #ave t#e stones to ping me! For s#ame! You’ll never see t#at type of cowardice #ere on C#annel 612 News, I’ll tell you t#at muc#!
BREAKING NEWS! You all see w#at I’m saying about sore loser, rig#t?
BREAKING NEWS! Naturally, Mr. President! Glad you agree! I wouldn’t be muc# of an anc#or if I let a two-bit no-name reporter like #im best me!
BREAKING NEWS! Woa#, #ey, you’re terrible and all, but I just don’t feel t#e same way! I’m afraid I’m way out of your league, small fry!
BREAKING NEWS! And yet I already know just by your lackluster reporting t#at you’re a complete c#ump!
BREAKING NEWS! I look at your page and w#at I see is a troll fig#ting for relevance! Look at you, reporting on every little t#ing! It reeks of desperation! You report on t#e big t#ings, t#e relevant t#ings, maybe t#e weat#er if you’re feeling frisky! Not t#e minutia of every bit of information you see on your screen! It’s like you’ve never done t#is before!
BREAKING NEWS! Woa# nelly! Not at all! I t#ink I’m better t#an you because I’m just t#e better reporter between t#e two of us! Say, does your panstem #urt? Because I’d almost t#ink you broke it jumping to t#at conclusion!
BREAKING NEWS! T#at’s-now #old on a tick, w#ic# part do you t#ink is t#e joke? Just so we’re bot# clear #ere!
BREAKING NEWS! So you’ve really c#anged your tune, #u#? I don’t blame you! Many marvel at my knack for clever wordplay!
BREAKING NEWS! I don’t know about t#at! We do still work for rival stations and all, and I’ve got a job to consider! T#oug#, I mig#t consider tuning in to old 666 sometime!