What is an alchemiter? How does it work? It doesn't seem like a device similar to any alchemy I've studied.. The markings located on the main platform are so complex!
ALCHEMY IS A SGRUB/SBURB MECHANIC. (UNRELATED, BUT IS THERE A REGULAR EXPRESSION THAT MATCHES ON ALL VERSIONS OF THAT FUCKASS NAME?) IT'S SKAIANET TECH AND IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY PROGRESS ON REVERSE ENGINEERING IT THAT WOULD BE REALLY COOL. AS FOR THE FUNCTION OF THE ALCHEMITER ITSELF. YOU ENCODE A CAPTCHA CODE ONTO A CYLINDRICAL "TOTEM" AND PUT IT IN THE SLOT, THEN THE MACHINE ALCHEMICALLY MANUFACTURES THE ITEM CORRESPONDING TO THAT CAPTCHA CODE. PART OF THE GAME START PROCEDURE INVOLVES BEING ASSIGNED A "PRE-PUNCHED CARD" WHOSE CAPTCHA CODE CREATES AN OTHERWISE-USELESS CRUXITE ITEM THAT THE GAME READS THE STATE OF TO DETERMINE ENTRY.
GENERALLY, IN ORDER TO ACCESS THIS EQUIPMENT YOU NEED TO BEGIN PLAYING THE VIDEO GAME THAT ENDS THE WORLD. ABOUT HALF THE USERBASE OF THIS SITE IS EITHER CURRENTLY IN A SESSION, OR PLAYED AT SOME POINT IN THE PAST. YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO PROCURE SOME OF THE GAME EQUIPMENT SECONDHAND BY PINGING ONE OF J[OHN/UNE/INX/ILL] EGBERT'S ALTERNATES, BECAUSE THEY USUALLY COME EQUIPPED WITH WINDY RETCON BULLSHIT THAT ENABLES THEM TO TRAVERSE PARADOX SPACE FREELY.
BEST OF LUCK.