Lately, I've been working the kitchen in the Felt. Namely, because I'm the one who makes the least amount of mess when cooking. Outside of Mr. Perfect who insists that any mess he makes "is an intentional enhancer of the ambience." My ass. But, as a result, I'm going to go into detail as to how I make Gaulternian Toast. For those unfamiliar with Gaulternia, it's a historically prominent Western Alternia Territory. It is noted for its aristocratic cultural traditions, elaborate cuisine, revolutionaries being executed en masse, pretentious art, and a tendency to convict interlopers with social pressure. For humans, it's "Troll France." You take bread. Doesn't need to be good bread. Actually, stale bread is better, so long it's not a brick yet. This means this is one of the rare recipes where the Leprechauns that forget to put the loaf away can be considered something of a nicety. Ideally, avoid Grubbread, by the way. Next, you need to make the soak. Cluckbeast eggs, crystalline sucrose, dried bark dust, vanilla, and whisk it together. Generally, I don't measure, because it's less of an exact science and more so knowing, generally, ratios to make this sort of thing work. Put the bread in it, as a slice. Don't let it just sit there. You let it drink the mixture to get soaked but not weak. Both sides. THen, it goes into your buttered pan over medium heat. Each side gets browned, hope the middle is cooked, then you're done. That is Gaulternian Toast. Now, traditionally you put powdered sugar on top, maybe fruit, syrup, preserves, whatever. If we're making it for the Felt, though, everybody gets their own plate because I am not watching another breakfast turn into a fucking territorial dispute. Crowbar gets his plain with butter and syrup because he will insist that's "the sensible way." Matchsticks gets cinnamon sugar and enough powdered sugar to qualify as a fire hazard. Quarters gets berries because I do not trust him with the syrup bottle after last time. Cans gets four pieces stacked together because anything less will disappear before I finish cooking the next batch. Ma'am takes hers and puts it in her mouth and runs away. I think it's a reference to something. Biscuits likes to delight me by telling me it's not technically toast. He's right. It is called Gaulternian Toast because the Gaulternians invented it, and apparently their entire culinary philosophy is taking something simple, soaking it in dairy, frying it in butter, and then acting like they invented it first. Which I respect. Anyway. Plates on the table. Syrup stays in the middle. Nobody starts until I'm done cooking.
i always wondered who the heck was making those guys food cause outside of a few there no way they were making it themselves hehehe i gotta try your food sometime!! (|:O kurlys food is great and the less spoken about my attempts the better but its sounds like your stuff is another level!!!
You're so goldenthumpered my instinct to be a bitch is withered away. If you're hungry, I can make you some. Still in the kitch.
oh fuck i am ON MY WAY!!!! (|:D