thius one isn'T really. an epitaph. i guess in a way. it is. but you know. you'LL get it. phuntr. fuck you. piece of shit. fuckhead. useless idiot. you fucked it all up. every little bit. too brave to go ashen. too dumb to just let things level the fuck out - had to cut it off so brutally. have you no fucking pusher? they’RE dead because of your dumb, fucking pan. not a thought passing through it. and you think you deserve this? to just kick around? play games? laugh with people? you make me fucking sick. the real phuntr guynax? he died, all those sweeps ago, with them. you’re just a fucking husk. using his body. a parasite. you try to help the people around you, but you’re never, ever going to be fucking enough. too useless to be pale for. too much of a shit-stain for anyone to ever feel flush for you. too pathetic to be pitch for. you like it, don’t you? pretending you’re significant. it’D all go on without you. it will go on without you. this is punishment. hell on alternia. you can drink, smoke, eat as much mindhoney as you want. but it won’t be enough. they’RE still fucking gone. and you can’t forget it. not even a second of it. what happened. every light when you crawl into your cupe, you’LL think about it. about them. the feeling of their knuckles on your face. his arms around you. her hand on your shoulder. but it’LL never be real again. and then you’ll wake up and amble along like it’s okay. like you’re not some loser trying to go apocalypto on himself. you think to yourself - i can make an impact. maybe i'LL be cool. go out in a blaze of fucking glory. but we both know you won’t. you’LL shit out again. too dumb. too weak. too pathetic. i'M just waiting for the day you burn out. it'S got to be soon. this can’t go on. fuck you, phuntr. stupid fucking name. fuck you. see you next sweep, or not, hopefully. ((#phuntrsawesomequest #substance #selfharm maybe not that last one. but just in case.