Mike Delgado
@dissonantDespair
Nothing much to say about me.
tonight, if all goes well, maybe i will be whole again.
i can't wait, personally. #vagueposting
we might already be ready to undo this? maybe a little longer for the last one or two mike-splinters to come to terms with themselves. i want to hurry this up before the pink one gets into a situation we'll regret.
the "detective" is too busy solemnly contemplating what his deal actually is if he's not the concrete grounded centre of us all, so i'm filling in for him. i think being exposed as an individual fragment has lessened my sorrows a bit, and i suspect that might be the requirement to undo this. each little piece needs polishing and mending until it's as it should be. then maybe we all hold hands or something, i don't know.
OK, 1S H4V1NG D1FF3R3NT COLORS, L1K3, YOUR TH1NG >:?
that's right. of course he isn't posting anymore. i think i touched a nerve with that pretending-to-be-someone-you're-not insinuation.
honestly? i'm scared that i'm going to die. that's what this merging thing is going to be. i, as i am now, am going to die. and i'm terrified.
≈ Death is TRANSITORY, MUCH — LIKE — many — things OF this — EXISTENCE. TO say goodbye, to ALL THAT you knew — and loved — BEFORE, — is WHERE — your — heart aches and — PAIN illicit. — SEPARATE from — YOUR bonds — AND YOU WILL have nothing TO — fear. ≈
ctrl+f:"merging_does_not_necessarily_entail_destruction.docx","who_you_are_and_the_narrative_of_your_self_will_still_be_there_as_part_of_the_whole.docx","your_perspective.docx","desires.docx","values.docx","all_of_that_has_a_place_to_belong.docx"
if there's one thing i'm good for, it's empathy. the green one has sympathy on account of being presumably my good attitude, and i'd argue maybe the orange one encompasses some understanding of others, bundled into the anger and the abrasiveness. so i can at least tell myself i'm useful, even if it doesn't seem like it.
everyone has a ᰍurᰍose 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 we're all ᰍart of the ecosystem 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
i don't say much here because i don't see the point in it. but if there's one thing i want to get off my chest, i lament that i'm not seen, and once the 'detective' puts me back - if he can - i'm going to go right back to being bottled up. he's not even a detective. he sauntered off in our murder mystery costume and thinks playing pretend is going to get us any closer to sorting this out. i'm not even angry. i can't be. that's the orange one, i think. i'm just disheartened. i gave up a while ago.
ctrl+f:"perhaps_the_separation_will_prove_a_wake_up_call_once_the_pieces_are_fit_back_into_place_differently.docx"
no good food in the house. no good clothes to wear. not one of them stuck around either. i don't like it here.
there are some things in life you won't ever reach, and there comes a time you must accept that. the more you hold it off, the longer it stings.
diet mountain dew is a surprisingly passable substitute for being loved. the more you know.