D --> The problem with repentance, I think D --> Is that some part of it shall always be fruitless D --> The harm you have done can never be undone D --> And you do not ever have the right of forgiveness from those you have hurt
I don't think it is at all Other people don't have to forgive you by any means but you ultimately have to be able to look at yourself with if not fondness than acceptance Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened is okay now It often just means choosing to move forward instead of resenting it forever Arguably you /have/ to in order to meaningfully change or it's all just self-flagellation
D --> As I said, I cannot agree with that assessment D --> Memories of such things must be held D --> They are the best force to drive one to do better D --> If you move on, if you forgive yourself, you may one day let yourself forget the full scale of what you did D --> And it becomes that much easier to make the same error again
D --> Forgiveness changes the memory D --> Changes its meaning
D --> You 100k back on the thing you did and think "I have moved on from this" or "I have grown better than this" D --> That, to me, is to say that you consider yourself no longer capable of such a thing D --> When the memory, were you not to forgive yourself, would tell you only one thing D --> That you are capable, and you already did it
I feel like we're operating on very different definitions of forgiveness if that's the case Would you consider the mindset of "I have done this, and while I could do it again, I am not going to because of how I define acceptable behaviour now, it goes against who I want to be" to be not forgiving yourself? Like full acknowledgement it's in your power to do but also acknowledgement that it's not something you're going to allow going forward
D --> I wouldn't consider that forgiveness no
See that's the breakdown because I would I consider the act of forgiveness to be the choice to no longer hold on to anger, pain or resentment, and to no longer actively seek punishment for the action You can forgive somebody, in my eyes, and never speak to them again still, and you can forgive yourself and still hold yourself to a higher standard/be vigilant for signs you're about to relapse The only thing you can't do is keep beating the corpse about it and let yourself look at the future That's why I think you have to forgive yourself, because step one is going "I /can/ do better and I'm /going/ to," you know? Can't hate yourself into being a good person
D --> Hm D --> I guess if that is your definition D --> I do not feel the term forgiveness fits that concept for me, though D --> I would think acceptance would be a better term D --> Either way I still think it, whatever we call it, is a very tight line to walk, though