KARKAT VANTAS
@geneticCarcinogen
THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID
HEY LITTLE FREAKS IN MY PALMHUSK. FORGOT I HAD THIS ACCOUNT. WHOOPS.
Welcome back!
I JUST GOT MY FUCKING ASS HANDED TO ME. AND BEFORE YOU GO THINKING I GOT BEAT THE FUCK UP WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE BY A HIGHBLOOD OR SOME SHIT HOLD YOUR RAGING HOOFBEASTS BECAUSE YOU'D BE DEAD WRONG. I WAS TRYING TO COOK THIS STUPID FUCKING HUMAN RECIPE DAVE AND HIS RAGTAG TEAM OF INSUFFERABLE IDIOTS BROUGHT UP TO ME AND IT INVOLVED DICING THIS ROTUND HELL CROP THAT STARTED STINGING AND BURNING THE SHIT OUT OF MY EYES AS SOON AS I PRESSED THE BLADE TO ITS SICKENING CRISPY FLESH. I'M CHITTING THIS WITH TEARS IN MY SEEING GLOBES AND I'M MAKING IT EVERYBODY'S FUCKING ISSUE
oh my gosh, did you cut onions??? are you.. complaining about... onions???? they are NOT that bad!!
YOU WEREN’T THERE. AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED EVEN. I’VE NEVER BEEN ASSAULTED SO FUCKING AUDACIOUSLY BY A FUCKING PRODUCE BEFORE. ITS HUSK STILL SITS ON MY FUCKING COUNTER TAUNTING ME.
I'M SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH ALL THE TRAINING AND ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS JUST TO GET CALLED BIG KAHUNA BY MY CO-COMMANDER. REALLY MAKES IT ALL FEEL SERIOUS. THIS IS A /S KIND OF CHIT, BY THE WAY.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AN /S RESPONSE TO THIS BUT. IS THIS SERIOUSLY A REAL OUTCOME IN ONE OF THE TIMELINES THAT I'M IN? I'M ACTUALLY A "BIG KAHUNA" DESPITE THAT TITLE BEING THE WORST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD?
DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S NOT.