// I'll be real, I know it's implied trolls have mandated to give slurry, but I genuinely don't think Fozzer has fucked ever in his entire life of forever, and while I don't write him as aroace, he's picky, and he's aware he's not anyones first choice. Some weird rustblood digging holes that, on occasion, smell not too pleasant. HE KNOWS THAT'S NOT DESIRED. This isn't to say he wouldn't want to; he does. He's just well aware he's not getting any anytime soon, and he won't change his behavior or personality to get some. #nsfw
// I just double checked homestuck (there might be info in Hiveswap or Friendsim I'm forgetting) and it only says "When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking", it doesn't imply that it's on a schedule or anything. It's entirely possible it's just random chance, and if that's the case it's entirely possible that he's never fucked.