[“They’re almost here; we need to act fast.”] “What were they just saying?” Jeanne Betancourt asked desperately. She held the book on her lap while Minos sat on her shoulder and Acorn stood behind her so all could see it. “It seems like it was really important, but you… replaced it.” [“Not replaced, exactly. Just drowned it out. It all still happened, you just can’t see it.”] “So you don’t have any real power over the story now,” Minos said. “Just the power to troll us.” [“Pretty much, yeah. I lost the ability to speak and to re-write; all I have now is the power to write. It can still be fun, though; Acorn, say something.”] “Fine, I’ll say something,” Acorn said. “Fuc[Dirk is a cool guy and I like his sunglasses.]it.” [“See? All of you heard Acorn’s original (and rather hurtful, if I say so myself) words, but as far as this book’s concerned, he paid me a compliment. A parlor trick of no consequence, but I find it amusing.”] “And I find it a waste of time,” Minos said with a dismissive twitch of his nose. [“Yes, exactly. And there’s no time to waste. We need to vote on what to do with the book right now, before the girls make it to the last page. Anna gave a very convincing argument for restarting the book with her plan, and we need to stop her.”] “And you didn’t think we’d be interested in reading that very convincing argument?” Jeanne Betancourt said to the book. [“Eh, you’d all already reached the same decision anyway. No need to rehash everything. Seems like everyone agrees that we should get rid of the book as it is now.”] “Except you and Acorn.” [“No, especially me. I think you misunderstand my intent in speaking to you three. I suppose it’s my fault for just showing up out of the blue (or out of the orange, as the case may be). I’m here to convince you to undo it all. Destroy the book. Please.”] “Wonderful, then it’s settled,” Minos said. He hopped off Jeanne Betancourt’s shoulder, landed beside her, and started swatting at the book with his paw. “His vote falls with mine and breaks the tie. Bathtime for the book, and an end to all this bullshit.” “Hold the fuck on for one goddamn minute,” Acorn neighed. “He’s not a judge anymore! He doesn’t get a vote. That book’s going nowhere near the water, you hear me?” Minos pranced over to sit in front of Acorn. “Says who? Just because he’s being judged doesn’t mean that he can’t be on the bench.” “Yes, it does, by definition!” Acorn whinnied, rearing up on his hind legs. “Name one fucking justice system that works that way. One!” While Acorn and Minos continued squabbling, Jeanne leaned down and spoke directly to the page. “What does that mean for you, Dirk? Everyone else has some analogue in the primary text, some chance of a piece of them surviving. Even me, through the title page. But you’re not in the original book at all. If we erase it, what happens to you?” [“No fucking clue.”] “Was Anna right with her Minotaur theory? Are you trying to have us kill you as some part of a grand scheme? Will dying in this particular way give you some sort of ridiculous new powers over us?” [“No, she wasn’t right. Or at least, she wasn’t right in asserting that that had been my plan all along. I almost wish it had been; good connections and callbacks, appropriate allusion, and high-quality wordplay. I couldn’t have done better if I’d written it myself. I’m impressed with her. Proud, even. She’s well on her way to becoming an even more formidable manipulator than me. But no, it wasn’t my plan.”] “So why do you want it then?” Jeanne asked. [“For once, it’s not about me. I genuinely want the book destroyed.”] “Why?” [“Because… look, can you not tell Acorn and Minos what I’m about to say?”] Betancout glanced up and saw Acorn thrashing around and generally goin’ nuts, still arguing with Minos, who was somehow clinging onto his mane and managing to shout legal jargon while being tossed about. “Yeah, I think we’ll have our privacy for a while,” Jeanne said. “So one author to another: why do you want to break apart what you worked so hard on building?” “No no, not breaking. Destroying. Breaking is what I did to your text — and then I rebuilt it from the pieces. I don’t want anyone to do that to me.” “All right, why do you want it destroyed?” [“…Because I’m ashamed of it. And ashamed of myself for writing it. There. When Anna asked me to be candid earlier, I couldn’t do it. But then she trapped me in here, and I re-read all of it, lived all of it, and… fuck. This whole thing, the book, is terrible, and it’s my fault. And I can’t avoid that anymore. You know how you can get caught up in something and work so hard on it that you never bother to step back and look at the whole, never bother to judge] #DetectivePony