A few minutes later the Pony Pals were in Dr. Crandal’s examining room. He put the cat on the examining table and [readied his holy water and crucifix.] “I’ve never seen [the film Titanic],” Dr. Crandal said. “But I can tell you [Leonardo DiCaprio] lived outdoors all his life. [Leo] doesn’t have any scars and has eaten well. He’s also been altered. [Claire Danes] definitely [had chemistry with him in Romeo + Juliet].” Dr. Crandal listened to the cat’s heart and lungs with his stethoscope. “[This cat has no heartbeat. It is not of this world]” he said. He handed the cat back to Anna. “I’m going to [sacrifice some goats to him, because I am fucking terrified. This is such a bullshit animal.”] He opened a drawer and took out a [rusty music box.] Anna held the cat while Dr. Crandal gave the [windup key to his daughter. “It’s finally time for you to take this, Pam. You’ll know when and how to use it. I’m sorry that this burden is now yours.”] “We’re going to make posters about the cat,” Anna told him. “[This fucking thing is distracting us from our horse-related shit, so unless someone claims him, we’ll have to take matters into our own hands.”] “Good idea,” said Dr. Crandal. “He can sleep in the kennel tonight. I have [an enema scheduled soon. Goodbye.”] “Thanks, Dr. Crandal,” [Pawnee whispered huskily.] The Pony Pals said [a word so foul that I cannot bear to reprint it] to Dr. Cran- #DetectivePony