♣ mediated by @laidbackRanchhand
As part of a pending Handmaid Resources case, I have been asked to relinquish the entirety of an image used in a spread for a promotional charity calendar. This is, of course, a request of limited legal weight and impressive theatrical confidence. I have nonetheless elected to comply, as refusing would only lend the matter the dignity of conflict, and I am nothing if not charitable when presented with administrative theater wearing a false mustache. The image in question was commissioned, approved, circulated, praised privately, condemned publicly, and then, with the usual cowardice of management, retroactively classified as evidence. A fascinating journey for a single piece of promotional material. One does wonder whether the calendar was raising funds for charity, or merely for the continued employment of several individuals whose primary qualifications appear to be “typing with urgency” and “misusing the word inappropriate.” For clarity, I am relinquishing all copies in my possession, all associated proofs, all related correspondence, and every incidental draft which may be construed by the terminally ambitious as “supporting documentation.” I am also surrendering any moral claim to the matter, as I have no use for it. Morality is a currency best spent by people who cannot afford precision. Let the record show that I did not object to the charity. I did not object to the calendar. I did not object to the spread. I object only to the insultingly late discovery of principles by those who approved the concept, enjoyed the attention it generated, and only developed vertigo once they realized the ladder they had climbed was visible from the ground. Naturally, Handmaid Resources may file this wherever they keep their other small panics.
(A short video is posted! It begins with a laser blast striking the POV'S cellphone, knocking it out of hand. The perspective tracks the falling phone, looking around a very biosynthetic looking hallway- stars and ruined fighter vessels are visible beyond various view ports. Some sort of hafted weapon, possibly a spear, whirls forward, sending a volley of laser bolts deflecting into the walls of the hallway. Panicked Alternian shouting is audible as the POV advances down the hallway, facsimiles of the spear in hand launching themselves from its right palm, quickly thinning the lines of the defenders. The video cuts out after focusing on a sign- written in Alternian are the words "engine room".)