INQUIRING MINDS (ME!) WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW AND WHY PASTRIES ARE SO DELISH, THIS APPLE TURNOVER IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MY WIFE RIGHT NOW AND I AM IN THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS CUCK CHAIR IN THE WORLD, I REALLY NEED TO GET MY TOP SCIENTISTS ON THIS, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOP SCIENTISTS, JUST BOTTOM ONES, HA! THAT'S A JOKE SON, JUST A JOKE, WE ARE A BANKING GROUP WE DO NOT HAVE ANY SCIENTISTS, AND A (VOLUNTARY!!!!!!) POLL POSTED ON OUR WEBSITE IN ORDER TO GET A VAGUE GAUGE ON OFFICE DIVERSITY SEEMED TO IMPLY THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE A FAIRLY EVEN SPLIT BETWEEN TOPS, VERSES, AND BOTTOMS, WHICH I THINK REALLY HELPS THE WORKPLACE FLOW, I REALLY GENUINELY THINK IT HELPS OUR METAPHORICAL OFFICE DYNAMIC FENG SHUI, YOU KNOW? ANYWAYS I AM GOING TO EAT FOUR MORE OF THESE BITCHING APPLE TURNOVERS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
PASTRIES: THEIR SECRETS CONCEALED IN THEIR BṴTTERY LAYERS, TOO FRAGILE FOR THE MORTAL FROND TO COAX OṴT POST: REST OF IT MAKE NO SENSE BṴT “APPLE TṴRNOVER” PART REALLY GOOD