F. GAINES, CEO. [ABG INC.]
@liquidLiability
FINSAL GAINES, CEO OF THE NEW ALTERNIAN EMPIRE BANKING, INVESTMENT, AND FINANCIAL SERVICES GROUP INC. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME SAL! ;-D HE/HIM ABG INC. WE'RE WATCHING YOUR WALLET.
I FINALLY FOUND THE PASSWORD FOR MY ACCOUNT!! HELLO CHICKADEES, CHICKADOOS, AND CHICKATHEYS! ;-D -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
CHICKATHEMS? -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
MERGAL, MY SWEET, ANGELIC MERGAL, WAS NOT, IN FACT, AWAKE. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
EMPHASIS ON WAS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM SO FUCKING GOOD AT FRIENDS. I HAVE SO MANY AMAZING FRIENDS. THEY NEVER MESSAGE ME, BUT THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THEY ARE ALL BUSY PEOPLE. :-D -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
hi fuck gains
NOT ☝️ WHAT I AM CALLED. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
too boxing bad get it cause you just wrote in a box on my end
I HAVE BEEN BOXED LIKE AN ABANDONED WHELP WHIMPERING AND CRYING ALONE IN THE RAIN AS THE CARDBOARD HOUSING ME SLOWLY DISINTEGRATES IN THE PRECIPITATION, SICK AND SLOWLY DYING AND WAITING ON A CARING INDIVIDUAL TO COME AND TAKE ME HIVE SO THAT I MAY HAVE THE SMALLEST CHANCE OF LIVING TO SEE MY FIRST SWEEP. #MYIMAGINATION -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
ok i like your jib
YIPPEE! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
HELLO MY DARLING LITTLE CHICKADEES AND CHICKADOOS. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YOU ARE SO RIGHT, RITCHARD FLOPPINGTON, MY FRIEND RICHARD FLOPPINGTON. THE CHICKADEES, THE CHICKADOOS, THE ROOSTERS... AND RORI. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
you fool youve given me your most valuable information a weakness
8)
I HAVE NOTHING BUT TRUST IN MY BEAUTIFUL TENDER PUSHER. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
ok wow take me on a date first geez
OKAY! LIKE A FRIEND DATE? :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
... yeah sure
WOWEE! I AM SO GOOD AT FRIENDS. I NEED TO GO TELL MY DEAR WONDERFUL ADORABLE SECRETARY, MERGAL. I HOPE SHE IS NOT SLEEPING. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
yeah man thumbs up
FUCK YES, I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A CHOCOLATE DANISH, I AM SO EXCITED I COULD DO A BACKFLIP, THAT IS, IF I WANTED TO INJURE EVERY VERTEBRA IN MY BEAUTIFUL AND SLEEK AND SUPPLE BODY, WHICH I DO NOT! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
BEWARE IM STEALING THAT SHIT FR✷M Y✷U GAINES-SAMA!!!ˎˊ- Punch it d✷wn, d✷wn, D✷WN!
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY CHOCOLATE DANISH, I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS, EXCEPT I DON'T BECAUSE I AM LYING TO YOU TO GARNER FALSE SYMPATHY, AND ANYWAYS IF I HAD A WIFE AND KIDS, I WOULD HAVE TRADED THEM TO KEEP MY CHOCOLATE DANISH BECAUSE THIS IS HOW PASSIONATE I AM ABOUT MY YUMMY FUCKING PASTRY! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM STEALING THE WH✷LE G✷DDAMNED BAKERY WITH Y✷U IN IT STILL THEN!! RRAAAHˎˊ- Punch it d✷wn, d✷wn, D✷WN!
AH?! I DID NOT KNOW ONE COULD DO THAT... YOUR STRENGTH IS ADMIRABLE, YES, SO ADMIRABLE, MR. SABERTOOTH, I AM FLABBERGASTED, I AM ASTOUNDED, IN AWE, COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED, FLUMMOXED, EVEN HORNSWOGGLED!!! YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM GOING TO SAY THAT MAYBE YOU EVEN DESERVE THIS CHOCOLATE DANISH! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
W✷W FUCK YEAH CH✷C✷LATE DANISH YU YU!ˎˊ- Punch it d✷wn, d✷wn, D✷WN!
HM. MY WONDERFUL AND LOYAL AND DEDICATED AND PRECIOUS MERGAL IS TAKING QUITE A LONG TIME ON THOSE COFFEES. I WOULD BET VERY GOOD MONEY THAT IF I CHECKED HIS PROFILE, I WOULD SEE THE CAUSE. AS THE KIDS SAY, "BEE ARE BEE". -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
MR GAINES PLEAGSE DOMT LOOK AT MY EMBARRASSMNE T, , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
HAHA, I AM LOOKING! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
hhff ooaakkggyy, (っ╥﹏╥ς) iiggmm ssoo ssoo rryy , , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
IT IS ALWAYS A SHAME, A SHAME I SAY, TO SEND MY POOR SAD MERGAL HIVE AT THE END OF THE WORK DAY, SO MUCH SO THAT I SOMETIMES ASK HIM TO STAY AND ASSIST ME WITH MY TASKS EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE WORK TO BE DOING THAT DAY, PERHAPS I WILL ASK HIM TO STAY LATE AGAIN TODAY. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Hm. Interesting. Is There Anything Else You Want To Tell Us, Mr. Gaines?
YES! I ATE FIVE APPLE TURNOVERS TODAY AND TWO CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
APPLE FUCKING TURNOVER. 🍎 -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
INQUIRING MINDS (ME!) WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW AND WHY PASTRIES ARE SO DELISH, THIS APPLE TURNOVER IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MY WIFE RIGHT NOW AND I AM IN THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS CUCK CHAIR IN THE WORLD, I REALLY NEED TO GET MY TOP SCIENTISTS ON THIS, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOP SCIENTISTS, JUST BOTTOM ONES, HA! THAT'S A JOKE SON, JUST A JOKE, WE ARE A BANKING GROUP WE DO NOT HAVE ANY SCIENTISTS, AND A (VOLUNTARY!!!!!!) POLL POSTED ON OUR WEBSITE IN ORDER TO GET A VAGUE GAUGE ON OFFICE DIVERSITY SEEMED TO IMPLY THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE A FAIRLY EVEN SPLIT BETWEEN TOPS, VERSES, AND BOTTOMS, WHICH I THINK REALLY HELPS THE WORKPLACE FLOW, I REALLY GENUINELY THINK IT HELPS OUR METAPHORICAL OFFICE DYNAMIC FENG SHUI, YOU KNOW? ANYWAYS I AM GOING TO EAT FOUR MORE OF THESE BITCHING APPLE TURNOVERS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
PASTRIES: THEIR SECRETS CONCEALED IN THEIR BṴTTERY LAYERS, TOO FRAGILE FOR THE MORTAL FROND TO COAX OṴT POST: REST OF IT MAKE NO SENSE BṴT “APPLE TṴRNOVER” PART REALLY GOOD
COD THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
THAT WAS VERY WEIRD. ANYWAYS! IN THE FUTURE, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE MY #SFW PROFESSIONAL POSTING ABOUT ANYTHING #NSFW, IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE WORKPLACE BEHAVIOR, AND FRANKLY, I DO NOT CONSIDER IT PARTICULARLY APPROPRIATE TO MAKE MY #SFW PERSONAL POSTING #NSFW, EITHER, I FEEL AS THOUGH THIS IS JUST COMMON SENSE, WHICH YES, EVEN I, FINSAL GAINES, CEO OF ABG INC., HAVE! THANK YOU! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I THINK ONE OF THE BEST——I TELL YOU, THE BEST!——THINGS ABOUT WORKING AT MY (NOT-SO) HUMBLE OFFICE IN THE PUSHER OF THIS FINE CITY IS THE PEOPLE, YES, THE PEOPLE, THE VERY FINE TROLLS THAT WALK THE GREY-BLUE CORPORATE CARPETS OF OUR OFFICE HALLS, IN ALL OF THEIR VARIOUS SHAPES, SIZES, WIDTHS, GIRTHS, BERTHS, SIGHTS, SOUNDS, FEELINGS, SMELLS, TASTES, AND DIVERSE CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS, WHICH I AM TECHNICALLY NOT CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO SAY BECAUSE I AM THE ONE WHO OWNS THIS COMPANY AND WRITES ALL OF OUR CONTRACTS WITH THE HELP OF MY MOST LOYAL CORPORATE AND CONTRACT LAWYERS, BUT WILL FOLLOW ANYWAYS, DUDE TO THE FACT THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SET A SHINING, BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE FOR ALL THE LITTLE CHICKADEES AND CHICKADOOS THAT WORK AT THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF ALTERNIAN CULTURAL INFRASTRUCTURE, BECAUSE YES, DESPITE BEING ASSOCIATED WITH THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE, WHICH IS OFTEN CONSIDERED """UNWOKE""" BY THE REBELS AND REBEL-SYMPATHETIC CHUM SCUM THAT WALK THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET, WE ARE SOMEWHAT "WOKE", ALBEIT ONLY INSOFAR AS IT AIDS US AS A COMPANY IN OUR QUEST TO BECOME THE ONLY BANK YOU WILL EVER WANT OR NEED OR EVEN BE ABLE TO USE, HAHA! "ABG INC. WE'RE WATCHING YOUR WALLET." -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YES! SHAPES, SIZES, WIDTHS, GIRTHS, BERTHS, SIGHTS, SOUNDS FEELINGS, SMELLS, TASTES, AND DIVERSE CULTURAL BACKGROUNDS! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
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I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN, MY MIDDLEBLOODED COMPANION! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
like girths! like their their size the size of their Uh things! Uhm.. >.> #sUggestive...
:-) ?? -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
????????????????????????????? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I BE TALKING ABOUT THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? GIRTH MERELY MEANS CIRCUMFERENCE. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
OF COURSE! ABG INC. WILL KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR WALLET! BUT I HOPE THAT I NEVER HAVE TO INTERFACE WITH YOU PERSONALLY EVER AGAIN! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
GOOD DUSK ONCE AGAIN MY LITTLE CHICKADEES, LET'S HAVE OURSELVES A MOST PRODUCTIVE THURSDAY! I AM STARTING MY THURSDAY WITH A CARAMEL FRAPPÉ AND A HUGE FUCKING CHOCOLATE DANISH. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Ok ii jusst checked your profiile nvm ii maade thaat comment aass aa joke but iitss aactuaally true wtf
Hey, same here! Excellent taste, my good man!
Oh, that sounds wonderful.
HAHA, YES! I TAKE PRIDE IN MY POSITION AS CEO OF THE NEW ALTERNIAN EMPIRE BANKING, INVESTMENT, AND FINANCIAL SERVICES GROUP INC., AS IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT SYSTEM TO UPHOLD, BECAUSE WITHOUT BANKS, THERE WOULD BE NO ORDER WITHIN THE MONETARY TUMULT OF SOCIETY AT LARGE, THERE WOULD BE NO LOANS AND THUS NO BUSINESS STARTUPS, WITHOUT THESE WONDERFUL SYSTEMS IN PLACE TO HELP GUIDE US AND CREATE A MORE ORGANIZED SOCIETY, WE WOULD ALL NEED TO FEND FOR OURSELVES IN THE FINANCIAL WORLD, AND THAT JUST WON'T DO, IT IS NECESSARY, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY I TELL YOU, AND I AM JUST SO HAPPY TO PLAY MY PART! ALSO I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY BIG FUCKING CHOCOLATE DANISH! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
HA! "TWINNING", AS THEY SAY! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Hoho, indeed!
WE ARE SO BACK. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM LOCKED OUT OF MY PERSONAL OFFICE, I HAVE BEEN LOCKED OUT FOR ABOUT 26 MINUTES AND 43 SECONDS AS OF TYPING THIS, BUT WHO IS REALLY COUNTING HAHA, WHO IS COUNTING THE SECONDS UNTIL THE CUSTODIAL STAFF IS ABLE TO ARRIVE WITH THEIR MASTER KEY, NOT OLD SAL HERE, YOUR FRIEND SAL IS BEING VERY VERY PATIENT. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
GOOD DUSK CHITTRLINGS AND CHICKADEES! GOOD LUCK TODAY WITH ALL OF YOUR MISCELLANEOUS JOBS AND HOBBIES AND JOBBIES AND HOBS, I HOPE THAT THE WORK FEELS REWARDING, AND I HOPE WE ALL "GET THAT BREAD", AS THE KIDS SAY! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I DID NOT LIKE MY SANDWICH BUT I DID NOT KICK THE ASS OUT OF A TRASH CAN BECAUSE I AM A GOOD RESPECTFUL VERY HANDSOME MODEL CITIZEN. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
IT IS VERY LATE AND THOUGH I AM VERY HUNGRY I WILL NOT MAKE MY CHEF COME IN AT THIS HOUR BECAUSE I AM A VERY GENEROUS EMPLOYER WHO CAN LOOK OUT FOR HIS OWN NEEDS, SO I HAVE DECIDED TO INTERFACE WITH THE COMMON FOLK AND ACQUIRE A SANDWICH FROM A SEEMINGLY VERY POPULAR EATERY, WHICH ODDLY SHARES ITS NAME WITH A PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM, INSTEAD OF THE SUBMARINE SANDWICHES THEY APPARENTLY BOAST THERE, THOUGH IT IS NOT AS THOUGH THE NAME MATTERS SO MUCH, JUST THE FOOD, AND I PERSONALLY COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED TO TRY IT. I CANNOT WAIT FOR MY FIVE DOLLAR FUCK LONG, MY PALMS AND MOUTH ARE WET FROM ANTICIPATION AND I FEEL A VERY VERY LIGHT TINGLING SENSATION SOMEWHERE I SHALL NOT BE EXPRESSING PUBLICLY. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
The manner in which you speak fascinates me. There is something wrong.
a fiive dollar what
I AM HAPPY TO BE AN OBJECT OF FASCINATION, AS I HAVE FOUND MYSELF TO ME FOR MANY INDIVIDUALS! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
FUCK LONG! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
His five dollar fuck long. He was very clear about this, I think.
MY WORK HAS BEEN COMPLETED, AND NOW, MERGAL——DELICATE, TONER-COVERED MERGAL——AND MYSELF WILL EACH INDIVIDUALLY BE GOING HIVE AFTER OUR HARD NIGHT'S WORK, THOUGH I WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON HER AS SHE LEAVES THE OFFICE, AS PRIOR TO THE INCIDENT TWO WEEKS AGO, I HAD NO CLUE SHE COULD ATTRACT CATASTROPHES AS HORRIBLE AS SCUTTLEBUGGY ACCIDENTS, AND THOUGH IT WAS FUNNY AS A MOTHER FUCK, I DO NOT ESPECIALLY WANT TO SEE HER GET LAUNCHED THREE YARDS BACKWARDS DUE TO THE INTENSE FORCE OF A SPEEDING BUGGY'S BUMPER CRASHING INTO HER SWEATY, SHAKING, EASILY-BREAKABLE BODY AGAIN AND MAKING HER BOUNCE HARD AS FUCK AGAINST THE PAVEMENT SIX-TO-EIGHT TIMES. AGAIN. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I HAVE NOT HAD CAFFEINE IN SEVERAL HOURS I AM JUST EXCITED AS PISS FOR MY FIVE DOLLAR FUCK LONG. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
OKAY! THANK YOU THE ANOMALY, OBSERVER! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
IF IT DOES NOT LIVE UP TO THE HYPE I AM GOING TO BEAT THE ASS OUT OF THE NEAREST TRASH RECEPTACLE BEFORE REALIZING I JUST VANDALIZED PUBLIC PROPERTY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FEELING RELIEVED BECAUSE I AM RICH AS BITCHFUCK AND A FINE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A GENTLE TAP TO MY ENDEARINGLY SMALL AND PERT BUTT CHEEKS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YES I HAVE BEEN TOLD MY BEHIND IS VERY SMALL AND CUTE AND I WILL TAKE THIS COMPLIMENT EVERYWHERE WITH ME AND WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY CRITICISM OF MY TIGHT CHEEKS THANK YOU. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YES! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
AHHH, I LOVE TO STAY LATE AT THE OFFICE WITH MY DEVOTED MERGAL! HE IS VERY OBEDIENT, YOU KNOW, WHAT A WONDERFUL QUALITY FOR AN EMPLOYEE TO HAVE, SO DUTIFUL IN HANDING ME MY DOCUMENTS SO THAT I MAY CONTINUE WORKING LATE AND FINALLY WRAP UP LOOKING OVER THESE FILES, WHICH I HAD NEGLECTED TO DO EARLIER, DUE TO INCIDENTS INVOLVING THE PRINTER-SLASH-COPIER-SLASH-FAX MACHINE, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY MERGAL, MY SWEET, INNOCENT, DARLING MERGAL, HIMSELF, THOUGH BY NO FAULT OF HIS OWN, AS HE SIMPLY CANNOT HELP BUT DRAW DISASTER TOWARDS HIMSELF, LIKE A BIG, POWERFUL CATASTROPHE MAGNET-- NOT THAT I COULD EVER IN A MILLION SWEEPS BE UPSET AT HIM, NO NO, AS HE IS FAR TOO PATHETIC, WET, AND CRUMPLED, LIKE A NAPKIN FROM A FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH THAT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW OF AN OLD, BEAT UP SCUTTLEBUGGY HALFWAY THROUGH THE SPEEDING DRIVE OVER THE HIGHWAY AND LANDED IN A YUCKYGROSS PUDDLE OF DIRTY GREENISH-BROWNISH WATER OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND HALFWAY DISINTEGRATED DUE TO BEING MADE OF A RECYCLABLE AND BIODEGRADABLE MATERIAL, ONLY MADE THIS WAY BECAUSE OF THE, FRANKLY, SHITTY EATERY'S THINLY-VEILED PR STUNT TO APPEAR SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS DURING THIS TIME OF SHIFTING POLITICAL PRIORITIES THAT GLORIFY VIRTUE SIGNALING OVER ACTUAL DIRECT ACTION, AND THUS, CANNOT WITHSTAND THE ELEMENTS, AS IT IS SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO RETURN TO THE SOIL, LIKE ALL SOFT BODIES MUST. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Oh, you're insane. I get it now.
HA! NO, NO, I MERELY HAVE AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION AND A VERY CREATIVE SOUL, AS TOLD TO ME BY MY TUTOR A LONG TIME AGO, DURING MY HIVESCHOOLFEEDING DAYS, RIGHT BEFORE SHE RESIGNED! I MISS HER. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Dude, you killed her.
KILLED HER? NO, NO! AS I UNDERSTAND, SHE SIMPLY HAD ANOTHER JOB SHE WANTED TO DO. AHH BUT I REMEMBER OUR SESSIONS FONDLY, YES, SHE WAS OH SO VERY KIND TO ME, AND IN TURN, I REGALED HER WITH ALL OF MY MOST FAVORITE STORIES AND TALES, IN THEIR COMPLETE FORMS, MANY OF WHICH WERE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL, AND MADE UP DURING MY MANY BOUTS OF UNFOCUSED NIGHTDREAMING, LOGGED IN MY SPONGE, READY TO BE PUT TO PAGE ANY DAY, BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO NOW, HAHA, NO, NOW, THE ONLY THING BEING PUT TO PAGE ARE MY MEMOIRS AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT BOOKS, MAINLY CENTERING AROUND FINANCE, BUSINESS, AND WORK ETHIC, WITH MY PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, SHINING FACE LINING EACH AND EVERY COVER OF MY NONFICTION LITERARY MASTERPIECES! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
⧃ I feel as if it is necessary to state this publicly instead of just in comments. I understand the inherent distrust people may have with OZA-TAP, a company you, if you do not know what we do, may believe is 'selling air'. To that I urge you to consider two things: 1. We sell air filtration systems and accessories. The air filters themselves are designed to extract the harmful airborne chemicals produced by factories, buggies, and imperial drones near you. 2. If you have an issue with needing to purchase air filters to breathe clean air, good. So do I. That is why I designed the OZA-TAP air filters and that is why I sell them. They are produced with minimal environmental consequence as to not contribute more than we can negate to the issue we are trying to solve. Beyond that, if your issue is that my company and I benefit from the funds we receive from selling those air filters, I urge you further to try and source, produce, pay the employees, and transport filtration systems without spending a single caegar. I assure you, it is not possible. Not unless you want the bare minimum quality of materials and thus the bare minimum quality of results; quality we do not deal in.
YES! RESPECT! CORRECT THE NARRATIVE, MR. OZATAP, MY NEW FRIEND, MR. OZATAP! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]