F. GAINES, CEO. [ABG INC.]
@liquidLiability
FINSAL GAINES, CEO OF THE NEW ALTERNIAN EMPIRE BANKING, INVESTMENT, AND FINANCIAL SERVICES GROUP INC. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME SAL! ;-D HE/HIM ABG INC. WE'RE WATCHING YOUR WALLET.
GOOD DUSK ONCE AGAIN MY LITTLE CHICKADEES, LET'S HAVE OURSELVES A MOST PRODUCTIVE THURSDAY! I AM STARTING MY THURSDAY WITH A CARAMEL FRAPPÉ AND A HUGE FUCKING CHOCOLATE DANISH. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Ok ii jusst checked your profiile nvm ii maade thaat comment aass aa joke but iitss aactuaally true wtf
Hey, same here! Excellent taste, my good man!
Oh, that sounds wonderful.
HAHA, YES! I TAKE PRIDE IN MY POSITION AS CEO OF THE NEW ALTERNIAN EMPIRE BANKING, INVESTMENT, AND FINANCIAL SERVICES GROUP INC., AS IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT SYSTEM TO UPHOLD, BECAUSE WITHOUT BANKS, THERE WOULD BE NO ORDER WITHIN THE MONETARY TUMULT OF SOCIETY AT LARGE, THERE WOULD BE NO LOANS AND THUS NO BUSINESS STARTUPS, WITHOUT THESE WONDERFUL SYSTEMS IN PLACE TO HELP GUIDE US AND CREATE A MORE ORGANIZED SOCIETY, WE WOULD ALL NEED TO FEND FOR OURSELVES IN THE FINANCIAL WORLD, AND THAT JUST WON'T DO, IT IS NECESSARY, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY I TELL YOU, AND I AM JUST SO HAPPY TO PLAY MY PART! ALSO I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MY BIG FUCKING CHOCOLATE DANISH! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
WE ARE SO BACK. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM LOCKED OUT OF MY PERSONAL OFFICE, I HAVE BEEN LOCKED OUT FOR ABOUT 26 MINUTES AND 43 SECONDS AS OF TYPING THIS, BUT WHO IS REALLY COUNTING HAHA, WHO IS COUNTING THE SECONDS UNTIL THE CUSTODIAL STAFF IS ABLE TO ARRIVE WITH THEIR MASTER KEY, NOT OLD SAL HERE, YOUR FRIEND SAL IS BEING VERY VERY PATIENT. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
GOOD DUSK CHITTRLINGS AND CHICKADEES! GOOD LUCK TODAY WITH ALL OF YOUR MISCELLANEOUS JOBS AND HOBBIES AND JOBBIES AND HOBS, I HOPE THAT THE WORK FEELS REWARDING, AND I HOPE WE ALL "GET THAT BREAD", AS THE KIDS SAY! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I DID NOT LIKE MY SANDWICH BUT I DID NOT KICK THE ASS OUT OF A TRASH CAN BECAUSE I AM A GOOD RESPECTFUL VERY HANDSOME MODEL CITIZEN. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
IT IS VERY LATE AND THOUGH I AM VERY HUNGRY I WILL NOT MAKE MY CHEF COME IN AT THIS HOUR BECAUSE I AM A VERY GENEROUS EMPLOYER WHO CAN LOOK OUT FOR HIS OWN NEEDS, SO I HAVE DECIDED TO INTERFACE WITH THE COMMON FOLK AND ACQUIRE A SANDWICH FROM A SEEMINGLY VERY POPULAR EATERY, WHICH ODDLY SHARES ITS NAME WITH A PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEM, INSTEAD OF THE SUBMARINE SANDWICHES THEY APPARENTLY BOAST THERE, THOUGH IT IS NOT AS THOUGH THE NAME MATTERS SO MUCH, JUST THE FOOD, AND I PERSONALLY COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED TO TRY IT. I CANNOT WAIT FOR MY FIVE DOLLAR FUCK LONG, MY PALMS AND MOUTH ARE WET FROM ANTICIPATION AND I FEEL A VERY VERY LIGHT TINGLING SENSATION SOMEWHERE I SHALL NOT BE EXPRESSING PUBLICLY. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
The manner in which you speak fascinates me. There is something wrong.
I AM HAPPY TO BE AN OBJECT OF FASCINATION, AS I HAVE FOUND MYSELF TO ME FOR MANY INDIVIDUALS! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
His five dollar fuck long. He was very clear about this, I think.
MY WORK HAS BEEN COMPLETED, AND NOW, MERGAL——DELICATE, TONER-COVERED MERGAL——AND MYSELF WILL EACH INDIVIDUALLY BE GOING HIVE AFTER OUR HARD NIGHT'S WORK, THOUGH I WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON HER AS SHE LEAVES THE OFFICE, AS PRIOR TO THE INCIDENT TWO WEEKS AGO, I HAD NO CLUE SHE COULD ATTRACT CATASTROPHES AS HORRIBLE AS SCUTTLEBUGGY ACCIDENTS, AND THOUGH IT WAS FUNNY AS A MOTHER FUCK, I DO NOT ESPECIALLY WANT TO SEE HER GET LAUNCHED THREE YARDS BACKWARDS DUE TO THE INTENSE FORCE OF A SPEEDING BUGGY'S BUMPER CRASHING INTO HER SWEATY, SHAKING, EASILY-BREAKABLE BODY AGAIN AND MAKING HER BOUNCE HARD AS FUCK AGAINST THE PAVEMENT SIX-TO-EIGHT TIMES. AGAIN. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I HAVE NOT HAD CAFFEINE IN SEVERAL HOURS I AM JUST EXCITED AS PISS FOR MY FIVE DOLLAR FUCK LONG. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
IF IT DOES NOT LIVE UP TO THE HYPE I AM GOING TO BEAT THE ASS OUT OF THE NEAREST TRASH RECEPTACLE BEFORE REALIZING I JUST VANDALIZED PUBLIC PROPERTY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FEELING RELIEVED BECAUSE I AM RICH AS BITCHFUCK AND A FINE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A GENTLE TAP TO MY ENDEARINGLY SMALL AND PERT BUTT CHEEKS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YES I HAVE BEEN TOLD MY BEHIND IS VERY SMALL AND CUTE AND I WILL TAKE THIS COMPLIMENT EVERYWHERE WITH ME AND WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY CRITICISM OF MY TIGHT CHEEKS THANK YOU. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
AHHH, I LOVE TO STAY LATE AT THE OFFICE WITH MY DEVOTED MERGAL! HE IS VERY OBEDIENT, YOU KNOW, WHAT A WONDERFUL QUALITY FOR AN EMPLOYEE TO HAVE, SO DUTIFUL IN HANDING ME MY DOCUMENTS SO THAT I MAY CONTINUE WORKING LATE AND FINALLY WRAP UP LOOKING OVER THESE FILES, WHICH I HAD NEGLECTED TO DO EARLIER, DUE TO INCIDENTS INVOLVING THE PRINTER-SLASH-COPIER-SLASH-FAX MACHINE, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY MERGAL, MY SWEET, INNOCENT, DARLING MERGAL, HIMSELF, THOUGH BY NO FAULT OF HIS OWN, AS HE SIMPLY CANNOT HELP BUT DRAW DISASTER TOWARDS HIMSELF, LIKE A BIG, POWERFUL CATASTROPHE MAGNET-- NOT THAT I COULD EVER IN A MILLION SWEEPS BE UPSET AT HIM, NO NO, AS HE IS FAR TOO PATHETIC, WET, AND CRUMPLED, LIKE A NAPKIN FROM A FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH THAT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW OF AN OLD, BEAT UP SCUTTLEBUGGY HALFWAY THROUGH THE SPEEDING DRIVE OVER THE HIGHWAY AND LANDED IN A YUCKYGROSS PUDDLE OF DIRTY GREENISH-BROWNISH WATER OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND HALFWAY DISINTEGRATED DUE TO BEING MADE OF A RECYCLABLE AND BIODEGRADABLE MATERIAL, ONLY MADE THIS WAY BECAUSE OF THE, FRANKLY, SHITTY EATERY'S THINLY-VEILED PR STUNT TO APPEAR SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS DURING THIS TIME OF SHIFTING POLITICAL PRIORITIES THAT GLORIFY VIRTUE SIGNALING OVER ACTUAL DIRECT ACTION, AND THUS, CANNOT WITHSTAND THE ELEMENTS, AS IT IS SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO RETURN TO THE SOIL, LIKE ALL SOFT BODIES MUST. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Oh, you're insane. I get it now.
HA! NO, NO, I MERELY HAVE AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION AND A VERY CREATIVE SOUL, AS TOLD TO ME BY MY TUTOR A LONG TIME AGO, DURING MY HIVESCHOOLFEEDING DAYS, RIGHT BEFORE SHE RESIGNED! I MISS HER. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Dude, you killed her.
KILLED HER? NO, NO! AS I UNDERSTAND, SHE SIMPLY HAD ANOTHER JOB SHE WANTED TO DO. AHH BUT I REMEMBER OUR SESSIONS FONDLY, YES, SHE WAS OH SO VERY KIND TO ME, AND IN TURN, I REGALED HER WITH ALL OF MY MOST FAVORITE STORIES AND TALES, IN THEIR COMPLETE FORMS, MANY OF WHICH WERE COMPLETELY FICTIONAL, AND MADE UP DURING MY MANY BOUTS OF UNFOCUSED NIGHTDREAMING, LOGGED IN MY SPONGE, READY TO BE PUT TO PAGE ANY DAY, BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO NOW, HAHA, NO, NOW, THE ONLY THING BEING PUT TO PAGE ARE MY MEMOIRS AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT BOOKS, MAINLY CENTERING AROUND FINANCE, BUSINESS, AND WORK ETHIC, WITH MY PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, SHINING FACE LINING EACH AND EVERY COVER OF MY NONFICTION LITERARY MASTERPIECES! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
⧃ I feel as if it is necessary to state this publicly instead of just in comments. I understand the inherent distrust people may have with OZA-TAP, a company you, if you do not know what we do, may believe is 'selling air'. To that I urge you to consider two things: 1. We sell air filtration systems and accessories. The air filters themselves are designed to extract the harmful airborne chemicals produced by factories, buggies, and imperial drones near you. 2. If you have an issue with needing to purchase air filters to breathe clean air, good. So do I. That is why I designed the OZA-TAP air filters and that is why I sell them. They are produced with minimal environmental consequence as to not contribute more than we can negate to the issue we are trying to solve. Beyond that, if your issue is that my company and I benefit from the funds we receive from selling those air filters, I urge you further to try and source, produce, pay the employees, and transport filtration systems without spending a single caegar. I assure you, it is not possible. Not unless you want the bare minimum quality of materials and thus the bare minimum quality of results; quality we do not deal in.
YES! RESPECT! CORRECT THE NARRATIVE, MR. OZATAP, MY NEW FRIEND, MR. OZATAP! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
AFTER LURKING FOR COD KNOWS HOW LONG, KEEPING AN EYE ON MERGAL, OH MERGAL MY DEAREST MERGAL, I'VE DECIDED TO FINALLY MAKE MYSELF AN ACCOUNT HERE, SOMETHING SEMI-PROFESSIONAL, SEMI-PERSONAL, JUST SO I CAN GET TO KNOW THE CUTE LITTLE CHICKADEES SWARMING MY MOST DUTIFUL AND DEVOTED ASSISTANT, AND TAKE A MORE HANDS-ON APPROACH TO THIS WHOLE "SOCIAL MEDIA" SCHTICK, SO YOUR WARMEST WELCOMES WOULD BE WELL-APPRECIATED, CHITTRLINGS! BUT NO NEED FOR FORMALITIES, YOU CAN ALL JUST CALL ME SAL! :-) THE PLEASURE'S ALL MINE! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
HA! AND I LIKE YOURS, FAIR CLAIRE! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
uumm, wweellccoommee, ssiirr,, ii hhooppee uumm hhff, tthhaatt eevveerryyooeenn iiss, nniiccee ttoo yyoouu, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
MERGAL, DAINTY MERGAL, LOVELY MERGAL, MY SAD-EYED USED TISSUE WITH A PUSHER OF GOLD, I ESPECIALLY THANK YOU FOR YOUR WELCOME! THUS FAR, EVERYONE HAS BEEN VERY NICE, I EXPECT NO PROBLEMS, AS I AM QUITE MASTERFUL AT CONFLICT RESOLUTION, AS IT WAS A VERY LARGE ASPECT OF THE OFFICE SENSITIVITY TRAINING PACKET THAT I HAD WORKED ON AND PARTIALLY WRITTEN WITH TROLL RESOURCES, AS WELL AS THE TEAM-BUILDING EXERCISES THAT I PUT TOGETHER FOR OUR WONDERFUL OFFICE, AND THE SEVERAL OTHER ABG INC. OFFICES WE SCATTERED ALL ACROSS ALTERNIA FOR CUSTOMER CONVENIENCE! I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN, HOWEVER, AND IT WILL BE NOTED IN MY REPORT, NOT THAT THIS IS ESPECIALLY NOTABLE BEHAVIOR FROM YOU, AS YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, A GOLD-STAR EMPLOYEE IN MY PUSHER! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
hhff, tthhaannkk yyoouu ssiirr ,, , ii tthhiinnkk, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
So glad to s𝒆𝒆 anoth𝒆r succ𝒆ssful and acco𝑴pl𝑰sh𝒆d broth𝒆r on th𝑰s s𝑰t𝒆! 𝑰 r𝒆𝑴𝒆𝑴b𝒆r s𝒆𝒆𝑰ng you 𝑰n th𝒆 up and co𝑴𝑰ng fortun𝒆 1000 𝑴ags not that long ago h𝒆h, w𝒆 should chat ov𝒆r dr𝑰nks on𝒆 day! ᕙ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ ☼
⧃ You have no idea how refreshing it is for someone to use my full title properly without me needing to clarify it, so I appreciate that first and foremost. Secondly, while I do already have my finances secured with a separate institute, I always keep in mind: "When you are among fellow minds of business, the only business that matters is that which you can do with each other." I would be more than amicable to having a meeting to discuss what sort of working relationship we may be able to form. [Y]
HAH, YES, INDEED, AND YOUR INITIATIVE AND GUMPTION ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED, MR. RADIYN, DRINKS WOULD BE WELL-DESERVED AND WELL-APPRECIATED, AND I HOPE THAT IN THE FUTURE, WE CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL WORKING FRIENDSHIP, AND PERHAPS EVEN DISCUSS YOUR FUTURE IN CLEARFIN INVESTMENT AND BROKERAGE, AND EVEN ABG INC.'S POTENTIAL INVOLVEMENT! I ALWAYS LOVE TO BE FRIENDLY WITH OTHERS IN MY FIELD, AND POTENTIALLY PAVE THE WAY FOR A TIGHT FUTURE BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP! DRINKS ARE ON ME, MY YET-TO-BE-FRIEND! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YES, WONDERFUL, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL, MR. OZATAP, YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A HAPPY MAN YOU HAVE JUST MADE ME, I WILL ENDEAVOR TO DO THE SAME TO YOU, PERHAPS DURING OUR FUTURE CONVERSATION. THE NUMBER FOR THE ABG INC. OFFICE IS PUBLICLY AVAILABLE, AND I HAVE FULL CONFIDENCE THAT A SECRETARY OR ASSISTANT OR OTHER EMPLOYEE OF YOUR PRESTIGIOUS COMPANY WOULD BE ABLE TO FIND IT AND GET IN TOUCH WITH MY PEOPLE TO COORDINATE A MEETING THAT WORKS FOR BOTH OF OUR (UNDERSTANDABLY) BUSY, BUSY SCHEDULES, AT YOUR BEHEST AND EARLIEST CONVENIENCE! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU, MR. OZATAP, FOUNDER AND CEO OF OZA-TAP AIR FILTRATION & ACCESSORIES LTD.! *CHK CHK*! (THAT IS THE SOUND I AM MAKING WITH MY TEETH AS I AM GIVING YOU TWO VERY HIP "FINGER GUNS"!) ;-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
⧃ I can arrange for my secretary to find that number and make contact, then.
GREAT! FANTASTIC, EVEN! I LOOK FORWARDS TO IT! DON'T BE A STRANGER, MR. OZATAP, YOU BEAUTIFUL MIND, YOU! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]