F. GAINES, CEO. [ABG INC.]
@liquidLiability
FINSAL GAINES, CEO OF THE NEW ALTERNIAN EMPIRE BANKING, INVESTMENT, AND FINANCIAL SERVICES GROUP INC. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME SAL! ;-D HE/HIM ABG INC. WE'RE WATCHING YOUR WALLET.
I Need That Weird, Little, Sad, Wet, And Pathetic Secretary So Bad. He's So Baby Girl. Tragically, I Know For Certain If I Made A Move A Certain Banker Would Tear Me Apart Like A Betta Fish In The Same Tank.
I WAS GOING TO HATE THIS, BUT I DO NOT HAVE A VITRIOLIC BONE IN MY BODY, ONLY CALCIUM-RICH ONES, FROM ALL OF THE CALCIUM-ENHANCED LACTAID I PUT IN MY DAILY COFFEE. MY HATE IS RESCINDED. MERGAL IS FREE TO DO AS HE PLEASES. NATURALLY. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
You And I Both Know The Reason You Would Tear Me Apart Is Less Out Of True Territorialism And More Because Overt And Genuine Flirtation Would Make That Poor Dear Burst Into Tears And Back Away, Tripping Over Himself In The Process And Knocking No Less Than 6 Pencil Cups Off Of Various Desks And Finally Smacking His Head Against Someone's Ill Placed Office Plant.
I FEEL AS THOUGH YOU AND I ARE COMING FROM TWO VERY DIFFERENT PLACES REGARDING MERGAL, MY DEAR SWEET MERGAL, BUT I DO UNDERSTAND ON SOME LEVEL. HIS BEWETTENED NATURE AND TENDENCY TO ATTRACT MISFORTUNE HIS WAY IS PRECISELY WHY I HIRED HIM. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
MERGAL, MY SWEET, ANGELIC MERGAL, WAS NOT, IN FACT, AWAKE. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
EMPHASIS ON WAS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM SO FUCKING GOOD AT FRIENDS. I HAVE SO MANY AMAZING FRIENDS. THEY NEVER MESSAGE ME, BUT THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THEY ARE ALL BUSY PEOPLE. :-D -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
hi fuck gains
too boxing bad get it cause you just wrote in a box on my end
I HAVE BEEN BOXED LIKE AN ABANDONED WHELP WHIMPERING AND CRYING ALONE IN THE RAIN AS THE CARDBOARD HOUSING ME SLOWLY DISINTEGRATES IN THE PRECIPITATION, SICK AND SLOWLY DYING AND WAITING ON A CARING INDIVIDUAL TO COME AND TAKE ME HIVE SO THAT I MAY HAVE THE SMALLEST CHANCE OF LIVING TO SEE MY FIRST SWEEP. #MYIMAGINATION -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
ok i like your jib
HELLO MY DARLING LITTLE CHICKADEES AND CHICKADOOS. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
im going to hit you with a glass bottle
GASP! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY FORGET? DARN ME, JUST DARN ME STRAIGHT TO HECK! LET ME FIX THIS: CHICKADEES, CHICKADOOS, AND OF COURSE... RORI. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
JUST NOT THE FACE, YOUNG MAN, THAT'S MY MOST VALUABLE ASSET! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
YOU ARE SO RIGHT, RITCHARD FLOPPINGTON, MY FRIEND RICHARD FLOPPINGTON. THE CHICKADEES, THE CHICKADOOS, THE ROOSTERS... AND RORI. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
you fool youve given me your most valuable information a weakness
I HAVE NOTHING BUT TRUST IN MY BEAUTIFUL TENDER PUSHER. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
ok wow take me on a date first geez
... yeah sure
WOWEE! I AM SO GOOD AT FRIENDS. I NEED TO GO TELL MY DEAR WONDERFUL ADORABLE SECRETARY, MERGAL. I HOPE SHE IS NOT SLEEPING. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
FUCK YES, I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A CHOCOLATE DANISH, I AM SO EXCITED I COULD DO A BACKFLIP, THAT IS, IF I WANTED TO INJURE EVERY VERTEBRA IN MY BEAUTIFUL AND SLEEK AND SUPPLE BODY, WHICH I DO NOT! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
BEWARE IM STEALING THAT SHIT FR✷M Y✷U GAINES-SAMA!!!ˎˊ- Punch it d✷wn, d✷wn, D✷WN!
PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY CHOCOLATE DANISH, I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS, EXCEPT I DON'T BECAUSE I AM LYING TO YOU TO GARNER FALSE SYMPATHY, AND ANYWAYS IF I HAD A WIFE AND KIDS, I WOULD HAVE TRADED THEM TO KEEP MY CHOCOLATE DANISH BECAUSE THIS IS HOW PASSIONATE I AM ABOUT MY YUMMY FUCKING PASTRY! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
I AM STEALING THE WH✷LE G✷DDAMNED BAKERY WITH Y✷U IN IT STILL THEN!! RRAAAHˎˊ- Punch it d✷wn, d✷wn, D✷WN!
AH?! I DID NOT KNOW ONE COULD DO THAT... YOUR STRENGTH IS ADMIRABLE, YES, SO ADMIRABLE, MR. SABERTOOTH, I AM FLABBERGASTED, I AM ASTOUNDED, IN AWE, COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED, FLUMMOXED, EVEN HORNSWOGGLED!!! YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM GOING TO SAY THAT MAYBE YOU EVEN DESERVE THIS CHOCOLATE DANISH! -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
HM. MY WONDERFUL AND LOYAL AND DEDICATED AND PRECIOUS MERGAL IS TAKING QUITE A LONG TIME ON THOSE COFFEES. I WOULD BET VERY GOOD MONEY THAT IF I CHECKED HIS PROFILE, I WOULD SEE THE CAUSE. AS THE KIDS SAY, "BEE ARE BEE". -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
MR GAINES PLEAGSE DOMT LOOK AT MY EMBARRASSMNE T, , -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
IT IS ALWAYS A SHAME, A SHAME I SAY, TO SEND MY POOR SAD MERGAL HIVE AT THE END OF THE WORK DAY, SO MUCH SO THAT I SOMETIMES ASK HIM TO STAY AND ASSIST ME WITH MY TASKS EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE WORK TO BE DOING THAT DAY, PERHAPS I WILL ASK HIM TO STAY LATE AGAIN TODAY. :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
Hm. Interesting. Is There Anything Else You Want To Tell Us, Mr. Gaines?
YES! I ATE FIVE APPLE TURNOVERS TODAY AND TWO CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS! :-) -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
INQUIRING MINDS (ME!) WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW AND WHY PASTRIES ARE SO DELISH, THIS APPLE TURNOVER IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MY WIFE RIGHT NOW AND I AM IN THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS CUCK CHAIR IN THE WORLD, I REALLY NEED TO GET MY TOP SCIENTISTS ON THIS, BUT I DO NOT HAVE ANY TOP SCIENTISTS, JUST BOTTOM ONES, HA! THAT'S A JOKE SON, JUST A JOKE, WE ARE A BANKING GROUP WE DO NOT HAVE ANY SCIENTISTS, AND A (VOLUNTARY!!!!!!) POLL POSTED ON OUR WEBSITE IN ORDER TO GET A VAGUE GAUGE ON OFFICE DIVERSITY SEEMED TO IMPLY THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE A FAIRLY EVEN SPLIT BETWEEN TOPS, VERSES, AND BOTTOMS, WHICH I THINK REALLY HELPS THE WORKPLACE FLOW, I REALLY GENUINELY THINK IT HELPS OUR METAPHORICAL OFFICE DYNAMIC FENG SHUI, YOU KNOW? ANYWAYS I AM GOING TO EAT FOUR MORE OF THESE BITCHING APPLE TURNOVERS. -- F. GAINES, CEO [ABG INC.]
PASTRIES: THEIR SECRETS CONCEALED IN THEIR BṴTTERY LAYERS, TOO FRAGILE FOR THE MORTAL FROND TO COAX OṴT POST: REST OF IT MAKE NO SENSE BṴT “APPLE TṴRNOVER” PART REALLY GOOD