@magicianChartreuse — #jokes
She must be blind not to see how I feel about her. And if she is, I guess that makes me glasses. #vagueposting
"Psychosexual"? I mean, I've been into a few people with a couple screws loose, but I wouldn't go as far as to say *that*. #jokes #suggestive
Troll Bugs Bunny and Troll Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Troll Bugs Bunny turns to Troll Elmer Fudd and asks, "Is this whiskey?". Troll Elmer Fudd responds "Yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank." #jokes @insecureNature
Having bought a new laser cutter, I decided I'd start selling some nice little custom drinks coasters on the side. My first two were a peace sign and the Death Star, but right as I was finishing up for the day, I got a request to make a heart-shaped coaster that read "LOVE" across it in big letters. I penciled it in for tomorrow, and had slightly forgotten about it until I read my planner and saw today's section read "Make LOVE before noon". #jokes suggestive @insecureNature
I'd been thinking about doing a little tea party for friends with hot drinks, pastries and some fun little events - a "Tea with Adalyn" day. I did at one point have a suggestion to serve some mate, a South American herbal drink, instead, because it's an underrated delight - and I almost obliged, before realising "Mate with Adalyn" wouldn't look good on the calendar. #jokes #nsfw @insecureNature
As a publisher, I print the names of authors' stories on the cheques when I cash them in at the bank. One day, as I was trying to redeem a recent pay, I saw the clerk freeze in fear, and it was only after I looked back at the cheque that I realised the problem. This payment was for a story I'd published called "Your Money Or Your Life" - which, of course, I had written in big block capitals across the top of the cheque. #jokes @insecureNature
A man is pulled over by the police for a broken headlight. The policeman looks in the car and sees a collection of knifes on the back seat. "Sir, may I ask why you have those knives?" - the driver replies "They're for my juggling act." The officer asks him to prove it, so he gets out of the car and begins to juggle the knives just as two men drive by, with one of them remarking "Wow, I'm glad I stopped drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard." #jokes @insecureNature
Driving down the street, I was stopped by a police officer, who asked "May I see your driver's licence, ma'am?" I looked at her with displeasure. "Why can't you lot make up your minds? You took my licence from me yesterday, now you want me to have it!" #jokes @insecureNature
I wake up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it all half-done. #jokes @insecureNature
What do you get when you cross a meta joke with a rhetorical question? #jokes
What do you get when you cross a road with a diamond? Robbed. #jokes
Did you hear that joke about the invisible ink? I have it written down somewhere, I just can't seem to find it... #jokes
First day on the job as an anaesthetist going well. Everyone's woken up so far. #jokes
Because of a medical condition, I have to take antibiotics before having any dental work done. When I'd decided I wanted to start a family, I cancelled my appointment in case the medication would pose any risk. I got a phone call a week or two later from the dentist's office to schedule another appointment. I wasn't sure how to explain why I wouldn't be booking any for a while, so I began "Well, I'm trying to get pregnant, and-" to which the receptionist sheepishly responded "Oh, I'm sorry! I'll call back later." #jokes #suggestive @insecureNature