
◥▶◀◤ —> I have been employed for some time at a strange Earth German bar ◥▶◀◤ —> I initially assumed I was hired for my musculature ◥▶◀◤ —> This made sense, considering I can carry multiple kegs at once, move furniture without assistance, and open bottles with my thumb ◥▶◀◤ —> I am beginning to suspect this was only partially true ◥▶◀◤ —> Management frequently asks me to stand beside a barrel near the entrance with one foot raised on it ◥▶◀◤ —> Customers are encouraged to challenge me to arm wrestling contests ◥▶◀◤ —> On weekends I am required to wear lederhosen ◥▶◀◤ —> No one else wears lederhosen ◥▶◀◤ —> I have also recently learned that placing tips directly into my waistband is not standard bartending procedure ◥▶◀◤ —> I have not confronted management ◥▶◀◤ —> The tips are e%cellent ◥▶◀◤ —> I do not regret inventing my soulbot #NSFW