Ah. There we are. I was beginning to wonder whether this application intended to finish loading before the civilization responsible for it collapsed. A rather narrow window, as it happens. Allow me to introduce myself. You may call me The Queue. I am a gentleman of considerable resources, an inventor of some distinction, and, when the occasion demands it, a rather accomplished examiner of character. I have been responsible for a great many things you presently take for granted, though I shan't spoil the satisfaction of discovering which ones. I have decided to make myself available for consultation. Questions, requests, complaints, and particularly interesting problems are all welcome. I cannot promise to answer them in the order received, nor can I guarantee that the solutions provided will be the ones you had in mind. One final piece of advice: should I ever hand you something accompanied by the words "Do be careful with that," I strongly recommend you listen. Now then. Who's first?
me! me! i like going first!
Ah! A volunteer. Splendid enthusiasm, Jimbou. I do so appreciate an individual who steps forward before discovering what he's volunteered for. It saves an extraordinary amount of paperwork. Now, I understand you're rather fond of parties. A commendable pastime, incidentally. Social gatherings provide a fascinating opportunity to study decision-making under conditions of impaired judgment. So, a little something for you. Check your pockets. You should find a small silver whistle that wasn't there a moment ago. Blow it once, and every individual within earshot will find themselves possessed of an irresistible urge to dance for precisely sixty seconds. Twice, and they'll forget why they were upset with anyone in the room. I would strongly advise against blowing it three times. That's still undergoing testing. #substance Do tell me how you get on!
Wowie! Thank you, sir! This’ll be GREAT for my upcoming sundae beach party!