My fellow chitterer$ I have big, ma$$ive, ab$olutely ginormou$ new$ to $hare. I know, I can hear your voice$ barking already. Yugaut, $LAM ($upreme Leader and Ma$termind) where have you been!! The da$h ha$ mi$$ed you! Without a $ocial media apex predator $uch a$ your$elf, the $ite ha$ grown fat, lazy and $ub$tantially more boring! I am $orry my extra dimen$ional Bug$, who are many but $ilent. A$ I have $aid before my ta$k$ are numerou$, and my 3D$ (Three Deputy $ecretarie$) work hard every night but the addition of $o many new indivdual$ cau$ed a level of expo$ure even they $truggled to handle. But re$t a$$ured I never forgot you! Merely pu$hed you out of my pan to focu$ on conquering my "home turf". Me and the other Bug$ have alway$ know that the MOFD (Mother Of All Fetch Modi) would re$hape our univer$e but I wa$ the only one who dared to imagine that perhap$... It could re$hape other$? It required an immediate convention of our brighte$t mind$, the trailblazer$ of $WFTCAT ($ocial Web For Tran$cendent Ca$t Agno$tic Troll$) of which I am the blazie$t trailer (a ma$ter word$mith too) to con$pire a plot large enough to $pan acro$$ infinity! But while the true Bug$, tho$e who$e intelligence matched only their $anctamoniou$ under$tand of cau$e and effect immediately commited to our obviou$ path forward $ome... didn't. Ye$ I regret to $ay a lot of FUD$ (Fear Uncertainty Doubt $lave$) were born la$t perigree. I and the other Bug$ worked hard on $tamping them all out! (which ruined more than one pair of boot$) And have quieted the di$$enting opinion$ of tho$e without ambition which i$ why I am back. Re$t a$$ured that the gut$ of tho$e who fought me have rallied our core member$ and lead to new recruit$, filled with admiration at my $trength, hand$ome appearence and $triking chari$ma! Which bring$ me to an announcement. I make a $olemn oath my chitterer$, that from thi$ $unday which $hall henceforth be known for thi$ $peech and no other rea$on I...will be making at lea$t one po$t on Chitter every night. Ye$. That i$ correct. The $LAM ($upreme Leader And generou$ Ma$termind) of the $WFTCAT ($ocial Web For Tran$cendent Ca$t Agno$tic Troll$) will be providing guidance and go$pel alike every $ingle night! FUD$ (Fear Uncertainty Doubt $lave$) will call me a fool, an idiot, $omeone intere$ted more in the per$uit and announcement of big goal$ rather than their actualization yet I do $ee any of them making po$t$ on multiver$al $ocial media application$ about their radical fetch modu$ which will re$hape $ociety a$ we know it! To $upport my 3D$ (Three Deputy $ecretarie$) I have per$onally created and coded an ARAAD (Automatic Reply And An$wering Device) to go through $ome of the more innucou$, banal, foundational que$tion$ that FUC (Financially literate Ultra Chad$) have before being willing to commit to the high concept$ we Bug$ per$ue. My inbox on chittr ha$ already been integrated with thi$ $y$tem $o plea$e, go ahead, and DM (Direct Me$$age) me and ba$k in the quick, curt yet inde$cribably enlightening an$wer$ you receive. For more inten$e que$tion$ I will take over per$onally. $o go ahead, it i$ not a coincidence that I cho$e a #$ickna$ty$unday. Today i$ a day of fornication, of...$eeding you might $ay. $o while you expunge your literal $eed con$ider fertilizing your financial $tate a$ well. $ucking on a bulge i$ nice ab$olutely $o why not $uck on the long tentacle of progre$$ until you get a load of future reward. Become a Bug and work on creating the nook which $oon enough everyone will be pounding to get into and while they $cream for the right in$ide you will re$t knowing that the right to be in$ide of it i$ not only your$...but exi$t$ partially becau$e of your contribution$. Come and cum over and we $hall all...be Bug$. Oh and the nightly po$t$ will be tagged with N$WFTCATP (Nightly $ocial Web For Tran$cendent Ca$t Agno$tic Troll Po$t) #$WFTCAT #N$WFTCATP #$ickna$ty$unday #N$fw