၄⋆၃ one of my all time favorite songs is dinner is not over by jaxk stauber as someone who has struggled with suixidality and hopelessness its suxh a wonderful song that is not even subtly anti suixide it straight up tells you that you deserve to live i spexifixally enjoy the line "you said 'ive got the power to go any night' and darling it's true" bexause it truly feels like something someone who no longer has any hope left in their body and knows they xould end it whenever dot dot dot ive said similar things in my youth on many oxxasions jaxk stauber you mad lad dot dot dot #XW-SELF-HARM
There is a sense of happiness one feels when deciding upon the day. I have sene it myself. I know it intimately. Joy. Elation it may be over. Then you forfeit all you own as you won't need it anymore. But there is so much to behold in life. I'm in no hurry to move on from it, truly. Some assume me to be macabre or sad, but I am quite happy knowing what I do. Death will always shadow us. But it is only as interesting to explore when a life is fully lived. I will never celebrate one gone too soon, save for the corseparty to honor the memory, fleeting as it was.