Before I retire, posted herein for convenience’s sake are blanket fees encompassing but not limited to any number of actions that, if applicable, will be appended to relevant accounts shortly. Negotiations are tolerated with the spirit in which they are presented. Goodlight, all. *____ + 500 Insufferable post charge (+ 10 per every additional letterjumble after 100 letterjumbles) + 250 Security deposit to be returned when deemed appropriate + 10 Signature line ink replacement fee per every fifth line offered + 25 Currency exchange surcharge + Relevant parties (you) will be charged 0.08th of a caeger per letterjumble (standard entry-level publication rate) per post/reply/et cetera of contract executor (me) + 100 General unseemly or boorish behavior (+ 150 if behavior is both unseemly and boorish) + 50 Twee dimwit fee (you’ll know)
You’ll understand that composure and formality are necessary where the intricate craft of contracts are concerned.