I lived. No inheritance for anybody. Especially not Trycks, who is not allowed to “call dibs” on my assets. *____
OBJECTION! i didn't see anyone else bidding, did you?
Well, I haven’t died yet, have I? Though you really might as well put a tidy sum away just in case that changes anytime soon. You can wire it directly to me at your earliest convenience. *____
READING ONTO THE RECORD! i'm wiring you one singular caegar, and literally no one will bother to outbid me. don't spend it all in one place -1 OPENING AND CLOSING BID
what's this AboUt and am *i* AllowEd to call dibs
Ahem. + 150 Processing fee + 50 Account transfer fee + 100 Auction participation ante + 15 Holding your bid indefinitely fee + 5% Interest rate
Just making plans in case of my hypothetical death, is all. My belongings will go up for auction. You can call a little dibs. I’ll put it down in the file as a discount.
bAdAss. i'll tAkE any dibs i can get. don't dIE yet thOUgh i hAvE plans.
I’ll endeavor not to. Keep me posted. *____
CROSS EXAMINATION! what, and no deposit?
I have an efficient and delicate system going on. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.