ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ: @tipsygenostalgic you Sat In Your Room Drunk, Drunker Than You Had Been In Years. You Fucked Up And You Know You Did, The Worst Part Of It Is You Did This On Purpose And You Know It. Sobriety Was Great, It Was, You Think? You're Too Drunk To Know How You Feel About It At The Moment. What You Do Know Is You Lied, You Told Everyone You Could Handle Alcohol Again, You Knew You Couldn't, You Knew This Was An Easy Way To A Relapse And Get Away With It, And That's Just What You Wanted. when Did You Start Crying? You're Not Sure, It's Probably The Guilt, They're All Going To Hate You...well Maybe Dave Won't But He's Not Exactly Sober Himself. your Drunken Movements Are Sloppy And You Nearly Knock Everything Over As You Grab A Pocket Knife Off Your Nightstand. You Bought It Simply As A Decoration, A Little Holographic Pocketknife You Usually Kept On A Shelf, But Tonight You Think You'll Use It For Something Else. You Don't Know When You Started Hating Yourself So Much. Is It Caused By Some Mental Problem? Is It Just The Trauma Of Sburb Finally Kicking In? Maybe It's Just The Alcohol Talking, It's Not Exactly Feeling Like That Nice Blanket Of Oblivious Comfort You Prefer It To Be. You Guess Why Doesn't Matter Because You Know This. your Name Is Roxy Lalonde, You Are Drunk, Your Friends Are Upset At You Again Because Of This Fact, And You Fucking Hate Yourself. and You're Not Going To Be A Problem To Anyone By Tomorrow Morning. your Entire Body Shakes As You Open The Knife, You're Barely Aware Of What's Going On Your Body Numb And Your Vision Blurred With Tears. Then You Feel The Stabbing Pain Of The Knife And That Sudden Pain Makes You Feel Ungodly Sober, Your Mind Clears And It Dawns On You What You're Doing. Looking Down The Blood Is Already Flowing, Your Right Thigh Already Covered On The Blood Pouring From You Torso. Fuck Fuck Fuuuck You Don't Want This, You Don't Have Time To Realize The Odds Of This Being Heroic Or Just Are So So Low, Your Too Busy Stuck In Panic Mode To Have That Realization. Your Phone Is Still On Your Bed, You Pull The Blankets Off To Retrieve It, You Briefly Consider Calling Dirk Before Dialing 911. the Rest Of That Night Was A Blur Of Colours, You Woke Up In The Hospital That Morning, You Left That Evening And Didn't Tell Anyone, You Can't Tell Anyone. You Still Hate Yourself More Than You Ever Thought You Were Capable Of. You Think You'll Have A Drink When You Get Home, You'll Hide Anything Sharp This Time. #cw-self-harm #suicide #substance #gore you Aren't Alone. πΌπππππ’ πππ https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1faipqlsekfh6j2vgskoqsezds9n0t5tnb8gtkihiapootjcd9yp3hmw/viewform?usp=dialog
i just want 2 forget this why cant i forgt it?
These Things Never Stay Buried. i Hope You Can Learn To Live With Yourself.