Don’t ask what words I had to trade with my associate @terribleTutelary in private just to get him to follow me back. Just know that I Can Reclaim.
TRADE SECRETS LIKE THIS. MAKE YOu A WEAK NEGOTIATOR. FuCKING LIKE. I AM SORRY. BuT IT'S TRuE. YOu ARE BITCHMADE. BY YOuR OWN INANE ACTIONS. AND STuBBY WEAK LITTLE CIRCLE WAVY HANDS. YOu PINCH AT CARDS BuT CAN PLAY NONE OF THEM. YOu BELIEVE THIS MAKES YOu GOD. INSTEAD OF AN IDIOT. BuT THINK ABOuT IT. REALLY THINK. DOES HOLDING ALL THE CARDS TO YOuR BREASTFuLLY BuXOM CHESTICLES. ACTuALLY CONFER YOu ANY ADVANTAGE? NO. IT JuST KEEPS YOu. FROM EVER HAVING ANYTHING RELEVANT TO CONTRIBuTE. TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE SKIP YOuR BITCHASS WHINY TuRN. TELL ME. TELL ME RIGHT NOW. RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. EXACTLY WHAT IT TOOK. HOW YOu SLAMMED HIM OVER THE TABLE. AND MADE HIM SQuEAL. TELL ME. WHAT PINKIE TOE TORTuRE IT TOOK. WHAT ABOMINABLE MISDEEDS. WHAT CHERISHED WHISPERS. YOu SPOKE INTO HIS EAR'S TITS. AND MOTORBOATED SENSELESSLY. HAMMER ANVIL AND STIRRuP. PRAISES. OH YES. SOFT CHARITABLE PRAISES. uNTIL HE BEGGED YOu. FOR THE PRIVILEGE. OF FOLLOWING. TELL ONE TELL ALL. HOW YOu RECLAIMED. AND RECONQuERED.
This post’s incredible girth is almost impressive enough to make up for its lack in any substance. Tell me, little nuance, do you speak to your mother in that tone?
SPARINGLY. WHICH IS TO SAY. NOT AT ALL. NOT EVERY MOTHER SON RELATIONSHIP. PARALLELS YOuR OWN. MOTHER BITCH RELATIONSHIP. SuFFICE TO SAY. IT IS PRESuMABLY DOGSHIT. TRAuMATIC. A TRAuMA DuMPY SHIT PILE. A LITERAL CRAPHEAP. I ACTuALLY OWN AT FAMILY DYNAMICS. THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER(S). THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. ARE VERY MuCH NOT ALIVE. WE HAVE A PROBLEMATIC BREATHING GAP. OuR HEARTBEATS ARE FuRTHER APART. THAN OuR INTEREST IN ONE ANOTHER. uNLIKE MOST STABLE. NuCLEAR FAMILIES. OuRS WAS AN EXPLOSIVE AND uNCOOPERATIVE SORT. AND ANY HYPOTHETICAL MOTHERS. WOuLD HAVE ONLY SOFTENED THE BLOWS. THAT NEEDED TO BE LETHAL. HARDENED RESOLVES. THAT NEEDED TO FALTER. AND SMOOTHED OVER EDGES. THAT WERE NECESSARY. FOR AN EVOLuTIONARY ADVANTAGE. I LOST A LEG. AND A SISTER. BuT uNLIKE YOu. I HAVE NEVER HAD TO LOSE A MOTHER. TO BOREDOM AND DISINTEREST. IN HER TYPELET SHAMEFuL OFFSPRING. I AM ALMOST TEMPTED TO ADOPT YOu. SO THAT I MIGHT DITCH YOu. DEADBEAT AROuND THE BuSH. AND GIVE YOu SOMETHING FAMILIAR.
The way you communicate is genuinely fascinating. May I contact you and take some notes on your apparently mangled psyche for my next project?
ONLY APPARENTLY? PEDESTRIAN. QuACKERY. uTTERLY uNENLIGHTENED. IF YOu CANNOT SEE THE GAPS BETWEEN MY THOuGHTS. THICKER THAN A BROOD BEARING WOMAN'S AVALANCHE OF ASSFAT. PARTED FOR A CEREMONIAL THRuST. THEN YOu ARE CLEARLY MORE DELuSIONAL THAN I. WHICH. I KNOW. BASTION OF SANITY THAT I AM. NOT A VERY HIGH BAR TO CLEAR. BuT YOu CLEAR IT. IN THE WAY AN OLYMPION POLE VAuLTER. IS CLEARED BY A JET PLANE SOARING THROuGH THE FuCKING STRATOSPHERE. YOu ARE CuCKOO FOR COCOA PuFFS. uTTERLY BATSHIT. BuT I SuPPOSE. I COuLD uSE SOMEONE TO COMPLAIN TO. WHO ISN'T PAID OR COMPENSATED FOR THEIR TIME. IN ANY MATERIAL WAY. AND COuRTS NO FAVOR FROM ME. AND REMAINS EXPENDABLE AT ALL TIMES. ON SECOND THOuGHT. AND THIRD. AND FOuRTH. AND FIFTEEN HuNDRED MORE. BECAuSE I ALWAYS ONLY MAKE DECISIONS WHEN ABSOLuTELY CERTAIN. YES. I ACCEPT YOuR MODEST PROPOSAL. YOu MAY. SHRINK. WHERE I AM CONCERNED. HEAD MY CASE. TEACH ME NEW WORDS THAT I MIGHT DESTABILIZE AND BEWILDER MY ENEMIES WITH. AS I REGALE THEM WITH THE TALES OF MY WOES. AND TRIuMPHS. MORE WOES THAN TRIuMPHS. MIND YOu.