TODAY, DIVIDEND SEES ITS FIRST PUBLIC EXECUTION. THIS IS A GRIM CHAPTER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR PLANET, BUT ULTIMATELY A NECESSARY ONE. ROLLIE GLIZZY, INVENTOR OF THE EVIL AND DIABOLICAL ROLLIE EGG MASTER, WILL SEE JUSTICE ENACTED AFTER TWELVE DAYS OF STRINGENT COURT DEBATE. NO MORE WILL THIS HEINOUS FUCKING DEVICE HAUNT THE AIRWAVES IN THE FORM OF DISTRESSING INFOMERCIALS, NO LONGER WILL OFFICE SPACES HAVE TO ENDURE THE ARDUOUS, INFERNAL HISSING OF THIS THING TRYING TO SHIT OUT A LEVIATHAN OF PROTEIN, AND, AFTER TODAY, NO LONGER WILL THIS VILLAIN, THIS *SICK FUCK* DRAW BREATH. TO THE VICTIMS, YOU HAVE MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES. TO THOSE WHO AIDED AND ABETTED MR. GLIZZY, KEEP LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER. TO ALL OTHERS. GOODLIGHT.
UGH, I REALLY HATE TALKING TO 'OTHER MES'. IN WHAT FUCKING REALM OR REALITY WOULD I SAY 'YA'? THE ABYSMAL STATE OF PARADOX SPACE SICKENS ME TO THE VERY FUCKING CORE.
… DIDN’T KNOW HAVIN’ A FUCKIN’ ACCENT WAS SUCH A FEDERAL GOG DAMN ISSUE.
No, but you clearly want an audience to your cruelty. So I am playing the peanut gallery.
... OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT. MAYBE DIVIDEND IS ALRIGHT.
*THIS* IS WHAT IT TOOK TO CONVINCE YOU?
BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT PROUD OF THAT.