@triumphantTestificate — #nsfw
#lesbianlifehack 11: Sex isn't going to fix you, no matter how hard or often you have it. You can't fuck your way into being a better person. People will still get sick of your shit no matter how hot you are. Try doing your friends actual favours as well as sexual favours. #nsfw
#gaymanlifehack 2: You're an adult. Speak like one. At the very least, treat me like one. Don't yass at me, don't call me a kween, don't do the wrist thing at me, especially after I've told you to stop. I'm a fully grown man and I have a life outside of sucking dick. Maybe you should take a page out of my book. #nsfw
#lesbianlifehack 9: It's okay to have a mommy fetish but at least be honest with yourself that you're doing it because you were neglected as a child and are desperately trying to find a balm to numb the trauma. #nsfw #incest #abuse
#lesbianlifehack 6: You're not a lesbian if you sleep with trans men. You're bisexual. You can be a bi lesbian, apparently (I'm a hard homosexual so I don't really get all that sort of stuff), but if you're fucking trans dudes you're into men. Because you're having sex with them. If you act like "exclusively attracted to women" and "finds trans men attractive" can coexist you're a transphobe and a misandrist. #nsfw
#lesbianlifehack 4: Being kinky isn't having a personality. Deep down you're a vanilla bitch who just wants to feel valued and you're lying about being into the fetish du jour for lesboclout, but even if you were serious about any of that shit it wouldn't fucking matter if you can't hold a conversation. Learn how to actually engage in small-talk. Ask her how her fucking day was before asking if you can choke on it and call her mommy. #nsfw
And while a man's on a roll bitching about hentai: #bestiality. Too much of it. Too fucking much by half. Feels like every half-decent artist signed a deal with the devil where they can draw hot twinks for 2 years before they spend the rest of their life drawing horses. It's disgusting. Horses are noble creatures, don't dirty them like this. Instant boner killer. #nsfw
Interracial gay porn where they don't turn bottoming into a fucking racial issue and they don't say a single slur. Is that possible? Can a black hunk bottom out in a white twink without calling it reparations? Can a white bear get sucked off by a black otter without calling it Jim Crow 2? I think that'd be rad. Maybe one day. #nsfw
Hentai has ideas way above its station nowadays. Back in the day you could just watch 2 dudes going at it like a reasonable fucking adult but now it's all weird and racist stuff making demands of you. "Jerk your whiteboi dick to BBC for the BNWO"? Must I? First of all, you're not in a position to be making demands of me. Second of all, don't assume my race. Third of all, why are we being so weird about black people. Can we not just have man-on-man sex peacefully without making it a fucking race issue. Fourth, fuck you. You don't speak to me like that. I am the jerker. I have the power here. #nsfw
Admittedly my flame skills have gotten a little rusty from arguing with nothing but Lalondes and their bastard children for two days. "Go jill off to thinking about when your mom helped you take a bath and got naked with you so you wouldn't feel embarassed" is an instant win button that I've been using as a crutch a little too hard. #incest #nsfw
And for the record: I don't feel that way about Rosebot. I don't know how she feels, nor do I care, but I have always been and will always be homosexual. //#nsfw #incest (implied)