why are ducks the bath companion of choice anyways whatd they do to earn that billions of other animals and we pick these assholes water off a ducks back who even says that duck! okay now im the asshole crouching because you saw a stupid bird i dont even think they can swim they just float then desperately dive for weeds and shit and you dont even want me to get into duck dongs and you really dont want duck dongs in you you wonder why youve never seen a duck furry? and dont even get on me trying to call it a feathery or a beaky its a fucking furry i didnt go to 12 years of fursuit academy for you to insult my intelligence like this but yeah its because their dicks are corkscrews so are the vaginas or cloacas or whatever but yknow reversed boggles the mind thinking about how theyre so crap when the first thing happening to any egg is it goes down the spiral slide are they just bonking their lil duckling heads against the shell the entire way down ugly duckling yeah theyre all gonna be ugly with that kinda physical trauma before theyre even born and this is what were using to introduce kids to the concept of bathing? give em something thatll teach a valuable life lesson or something a lion to teach them to nap all day until your girl chomps on your nads and you eat dinner then plow her or if it has to be aquatic to fit the theme anglerfish can have the lil gonad males that come attached and you can pop em on and off no guess thatd be a choking hazard huh cant have little timmy getting hungy during bathtime and finding a whole new way to drown in the tub dolphins are obviously out maybe an orca or something, show em the value of intimidation yeah im a big fuck off multi ton sea beast you aint afraid of me? bam. i have big eyes trust me bro thatll teach em will scare the fuck outta the programmers too, thatll do some good i think basically what im saying is these rubber ducks only have one purpose and its behind a paywall after i figure out how to cut some very specific holes in em #nsfw #drowning
