♣ mediated by @undyingUmbrage
I SENSE A DISTURBANCE. IN THE FORCE. OF MY BACKHAND. IT HAS REMAINED UNCONNECTED. TO THE BITCHY INSOLENCE. OF UNMITIGATED CHUCKLEFUCK CHEEK. LONG ENOUGH. THE CHERUB. IS 'IN'. THAT IS TO SAY. THE CHERUB IS WILLING. TO BERATE YOU FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR INCONSEQUENTIAL GODDAMN LIVES. BY GIVING THEM. RENEWED MEANING. AND PURPOSE. MAY THE FORCE. OF MY BITCHSLAPS. BE WITH YOu.
I've changed my tune entirely. The leaderboards are everything now. If you're not in top 20, I don't know if I can tolerate you in my space. Just saying. #LightPlayerSupremacy.
That too. It's a lucrative market.
Gathered that. Some look more like E.T than others though. Or is that an insensitive statement to make?
I can tell by the local population's penchant for the hue. Not that this is a verbal complaint, mind you. More of an observation than anything.
Didn't think anyone would blow dust off this old relic, or is it a recycled commodity? Verdict's still out on that one. 🤔
Short-term profits, perhaps. But you don't maximise value by liquidating your most advantageous assets left, right and centre. You leverage them to secure outcomes that continue to pay dividends. Just Light Player things. Some people don't have the foresight. It happens.
Over half way there! To the singular hater, know that your vitriol just aids my quest in monetisation.
You want to gamble on that one?
Recommend my account to your followers and I might just consider it!
You know, that is a very popular assertion. Unfortunately, the statistics really are quite damning when it comes to scalability past mid-game. Do you 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 want to take that risk?
If your first instinct is to flip them, then you may already be out of your depth. It's a little shortsighted, don't you think?
Spoilers. ;)
🌞 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗬 🌞 If this account gets to 10 followers, I'll distribute 𝗘𝗡𝗗-𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗠𝗬 𝗖𝗢𝗗𝗘𝗦 to some 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 lucky users. Chop chop, the clock's ticking.
Seconding your friend's request. Geriatric Homes, fear me.
Yuck. Threw up in my mouth a little bit. Sorry, I know that's a bit TMI on main, but I'd rather not. In any timeline. "uwu" yourself.
Oh fuck you, this is literally pity-farming on main.
I'd tell you to shove a sharp utensil in your eye, but you're already visually impaired, so it would be not entirely dissimilar to kicking a dog when it's down. Thereby, I rise above it. 😇
Alas, it doesn't seem to be a direct correlation between quantity and potential.
Christ on a bike. Pick another quirk for the love of God.
Don't know who you're referring to actually.
Someone's got to spill the tea after it was thrown in the ocean 300 years prior. It's a necessary duty, though not one that doesn't come without undue hardship.
This isn't a targeted post or anything, but don't you just hate (platonically!) when people pick a typing quirk just to appeal to a targeted audience? May as well shell your OnlyClams whilst you're at it. #JustSaying.
Sorry, I don't acknowledge chuds on main.
Can we get a petition to ban the emoticon 'uwu' or 'owo'. Comment down below if you agree.
You know what Obama, you're so right. P.S, you really should consider reuniting the U.S with its' previous 'special relationship' in your next term.
I mean I'm just saying, I don't think being a megalomaniacal oligarch should really be considered BREAK-UP material, you know?
An extremely practical answer! Kudos for taking the question directly on the chin!
You know, I ask myself this question quite frequently, and the answer often changes dependent on my mood, but what 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮 counts as a red flag these days? Opening it up to the court of public opinion.
That seems extraordinarily speciesist. Not a great look between you, me and the trees.
Some prefer theirs with some extra added sugar. It's something of a double-entendre. Though more of a pass than a faux-pas.
What's your order. Tall, dark and ... ?
Recheet if you only date PROBLEMATIC OLD men.
Boring.
But I can extrapolate and make an educated guess therefore, which really is more or less the same thing, realistically!
No, I firmly believe in the name-and-shame tactic. And flogging, but you'd probably enjoy that.
The things I could say. I am not losing another account to some amateur-hour trolling.
Of course you don't know where to find it. Talk about being a misandrist.
Like usually I don't mind the heat, far from it, in the immortal words' of my dear friend's hero, Gordon Ramsay, however I'm allergic to twinks and this really isn't going to work.
Please get off my clit.
Fuck you!
Okay, so I'm feeling REALLY attacked right now. Is this how you all approach a victim of targeted aggression? Nitpicking?
Okay, but I literally corrected myself. Maybe reply a little faster next time, who knows.
Okay, I feel the need to defend myself on here. I've been the subject of an unjust smear campaign from '@xylitolThrall', a vile, misbegotten creature who has no doubt only clung to THEIR FAME due to attaching THEMSELVES onto the financially blessed basement-dweller monotype like a parasite assimilating itself onto its' host's bacterial swill. Just saying my piece. I won't hide in the shadows about this.
Is there an edit button? There totally is an edit button, right?
Okay, I feel the need to defend myself on here. I've been the subject of an unjust smear campaign from '@xylitolThrall', a vile, misbegotten creature who has no doubt only clung to his due to attaching himself onto the financially blessed basement-dweller monotype like a parasite assimilating itself onto its' host's bacterial swill. Just saying my piece. I won't hide in the shadows about this. #TheTruthHurts.
Yeah, they wish. Sorry, I don't give out that sort of treatment for free.
Mentally strangling you right now by the by. Hope that helps.
Yeah, jeer all you want! Heckle, even. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words ... words 𝙘𝙖𝙣 hurt.
I've made the difficult choice to take a break from Chittr for the sake of my wellbeing. Sometimes, you have to come to terms that those who share space with you don't have your best interests at heart. It's a decision that wasn't made lightly, but ultimately, I have to put myself first. Nobody else will, after all. 😔
Of course not. Wouldn't it be easier to accede and let someone else take over? Not everyone else has the right gib to be a politician. I've been waiting in the wings.
To you. I'm the Iron Lady 2.0: Electric Boogaloo style.
I'm literally what would happen if you made Margaret Thatcher have an Ecto-Baby with Tony Blair, who WOULDN'T want that as their representative?
Cabinet? No, no. Listen, it's alright. Not everyone's made out to be PM. I'll take the reigns from here, don't you worry your head.
I came back at the possibility of political reformation. The people need me. No, 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 needs me.
And you're arguing that we're all fit to represent ourselves? There's literally someone here whose name is "Soda Burger". I don't think you want them speaking on behalf of the entire human population.
Yes, I am dainty and entertaining on the mouth, how did you guess?
halberdKind. There's nothing quite like combining the range of a spear with the brutalism capable of an axehead's divine deliverance. I've been partial to revolverKind in the past, however.
It's barely an amuse-bouche.
I'd try and it would be like trying to blow a mealworm. Not much substance and hardly anything worth talking about.
Okay, I'm sure you're sitting in your 'hive' feeling very proud of yourself for that one. Does it make you feel good? Special, even? Do you sit there and pat yourself on the back thinking "god, it feels great to correct a stranger on the internet?" Does that tickle your giblets?
You are an insult to anyone who has, at any point in time, flied the flag of the Union Jack.
Too right, girlie. Don't forget about the torque.
As a girl’s girl, do me a favour and tell him to get out of my DM’s.
Excuse me, hold on one bloody moment. You don’t get to all but doxx me to every troglodyte that uses this social media platform and then say you’ve got better things to do. Either prove that you’ve got the bollocks to go through with it, or quite frankly, piss off with this contrary vague-posting.
Hey. Don't pity me. Who the hell do you think you are?
Keep going, I dare you. You're aware that you're one step away from being blocked, right? . . . Not that it matters if you apparently know where my land is. I'll have the gall to admit this is mildly disconcerting, but you don't scare me. Come at me then, why don't you. The vague gesturing's only pissing me off.
. . . Ha. Haha. Ha. How the fuck do you know about that? That was supposed to be blotted out for a reason, not for fucking technicolour prying eyes to bear witness to.
Hey, thanks for the LEGENDARY appearance! You don't mind if I clickbait you for relevancy, do you? Well, scratch that, you can't really do much about it considering I've already posted, but figured that I'd give you the heads' up all the same just to spread peripheral awareness. Don't threaten me with a good time though. It's been ages since I've had a good challenge.
Will have implies that you are not currently in possession of such a 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐋𝐘 physique. Which, by my own assertion, means that I could probably, very likely, totally kick your arse. How much are you wagering, hm? I don't just strife anyone, you know. Even a "Lord of Time" can cough up something moderately worth my while.
In what was unequivocally a polarising turn of events, it seems I've came into acquisition of a new title. How does 𝗛𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗔𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿 sound? #Justanotherrungontheecheladder.
What part of “crawl back to whatever hole you slithered out of” didn’t quite get through that thick skull of yours, hm?
Oh, surely you know of the big, bad boogeyman of Paradox Space.
I do not, know. It's a Cherub whom, through rumour foretold, wields ungodly, monstrous power beyond that of most players' wildest dreams. Or something like that.
TFW you taunt too close to the sun and now you're getting death-threats from the Angel of Double Death. Usually I'd quip something witty and relevant here, but I'm more-so mildly impressed by my own capabilities. Is this a win?
Oh, I try. We humans have to stick together from time to time; don’t we? Don’t let them dim your lustre.
Chin up, @gutsyGumshoe. God truly forbid a woman be allowed to do anything.
Don't get caught lagging behind, nor let anyone tell you how you should be utilising that which lies within you at your disposal. Fuck shit up, Page.
Just a general announcement. Might be SLIGHTLY behind with replies considering I'm hiding myself from a nigh-tyrannical twat who just obliterated my planet. No skin off my back, mind you, already completed my quest ages ago, but don't exactly APPRECIATE the sentiment!
Plenty of bitches, thank you very much, IF I wanted them, which I'm not particularly preoccupied with at the minute considering my planet just got blown to bits and pieces.
Well. I wasn't planning on making good on this promise, and I have no intent on sharing any BIBLICALLY MYTHICAL codes after my experiences throughout this dreadful consortium, however, in the spirit of celebrating '10 followers' ... (Which comparatively, doesn't seem like all that much compared to others.) ... I suppose I'll do something of an 'AMA'. As a fully-ascended Prince of Light. No future-sight queries though, that's not my cup of tea. Ask away.
Do me a favour. Find a Black-Hole, cast yourself into it and remain there until the Heat Death of the Universe.
... Lord. Okay, I'm aware of how borderline humiliating this is. Does anyone have free digs in this quadrant of the incipisphere? I may be somewhat 'temporarily and spatially displaced' from my previous digs. And no, @xylitolThrall, I am not humouring your last, shitty attempt to draw my attention. I have bigger fish to fry. (Not a targeted statement towards any sea-dweller.)
Oh, does it? It sounds to me like you're an unapologetic 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗞 .ᐟ
... ... ... Well I haven't exactly gotten that far ahead yet, have I? You're the one who gets to twist reality to your volatile machinations, SOME of us have RULES to work within!
A lesson in what, homelessness??? Doomed or not, that was /my/ planet! And now it's nothing, gone, done and dusted!
I don't really see how this is fair! This isn't karmic retribution, this isn't heroic or just! It's just completely inconvenient! I /demand/ that you rewind time, or, undo it, or something !!!
Placing an entire boonbuck on the bet that this will fall like the last days of Babylon by the week's end.
Defacing? Hardly. Maybe I could get into the business of inter-planetary home renovation. 🤔
. . . I loathe to admit it, but it might actually have some degree of potential. Were it not for that god-awful shade of green, then I'd almost say that it's quite the looker. What about something like ... Yeah. That's better. https://i.postimg.cc/GpzRdXcg/Potential-Improvement.png
I bet your mansion is gaudy as fuck. P.S, rubbing salt in the wound doesn't really make you a man, it almost paints you in the congenial light of being a little bitch. Just reflections.
Day 1 of experiencing homelessness for the first time: I think it's entirely fair to say that this is an all-around pretty shitty deck of cards to be dealt, and if I could perform taint-to-tip castration on whomever was responsible, then I'd gladly do so in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, to much disbelief (including my own), I do not yet possess a death-wish.
Going to call it a 'crisp' as it should be referred to, but I'm partial to sea salt and chardonnay wine vinegar.
Is it anonymous? This is literally my main account. I don't believe in being shady like that. If you're going to be a hater, then you can be proud about it.
Please, never stop preaching your truth.
Maybe if you spent less time in my inbox, you might be a little bit more clued-up with your own mob's activities.
My bad!
For every divorce, my MILF status grows exponentially. The unattainable PAWG.
Bitches love contrarians. Hence why you are somewhat lacking in that department. Nothing to be ashamed about. I should know, I am bitches.
Well now you're just clearly ignoring the beauty and wonder of Twilight Sparkle, so commonly left to deal with the fallout of her friend's foolish folly.
It's clearly Celestia.
SCALDING HOT TAKE: You could elect to answer them instead of wasting your aspect 'complaining' / humble-bragging to the greater collective.
No, not terribly. Worry not, however. Whilst your generosity will surely one day earn you the gratitude of all those you have offered such extensions towards, I've got my business covered. P.S. The Super Moist French Vanilla mix is my favorite.
Something to do with a jolly, green giant and his penchant for technicolour pyrotechnics. I'm in the midst of coming to an agreement that will hopefully remedy this unfortunate state of circumstances. But, thank you for your consideration nevertheless.
Miss Crocker, your opinions are as delectable to devour as your confectionary goods. Signed, an appreciator of all things saccharine.
Sue me. I can't say I'm not interested on the final verdict. Let the Gods of AO3 decide my fate.
I mean, technically you're in my post right now. Also, you didn't comment on my photo. Rude. :/
Oh, very well. Thank you, my Lord. For the generous gift of having a roof over my head. Even if it is audaciously hued.
*Beating Homelessness. Apologies, somebody mentioned day-drinking earlier and I might have had a few too many at this time of morning. Afternoon?
Day 1.5 of being Homelessness. Yeah, that got old quickly. Move fast, work harder, and never let momentum go cold. #StayWinning.
@undyingUmbrage I figured that this should probably be raised to your attention. Just so you're aware, someone's vying for your spot atop the manosphere.
But what if I want to see them fight? I can see things getting vaguely homoerotic if you squint.
The Wonderbread lady has nothing on me. I don't see her rocking the gilded badge of honour.
DeviantArt culture is dead and gone. This is what the next-generation of e-persons have cultivated. Completely and utterly pan-rotted.
Felt like the call was coming from inside the house.
Thank you. SOMEBODY had to say it. If their hip isn't on the way out, I'm not buying!
You're fifty, you barely get to talk.
Own the gift you possess.
Never knew the professional league of wankery had crowned its' new champion.
Sixteenth place means there's fifteen more entries after you who have just secured their legitimacy in betterment. Of course, I don't care about such things. We rise above it.
Really, it's actually more of an achievement to not be on the leaderboard if you REALLY go deep down and into it. The indie scene's always been more appreciated than mainstream stays.