
is it bad i still can get the image out of my head? i've seen worse, hell i've done worse but it's so bad

I'm trying to keep it together, but me too. I... keep looking back at it. As if I'm expecting it to change. Or look less real. I don't know.

i should be over it i'm over more grizzly things anyways but i don't know why but this just hurts so badly

Because it's Roxy. You can't depersonalize this one into meat.

but ive done it before with a version of them before and i've forgotten that, i'm over that, i i think i am

Your situation has changed. You're no longer expected to betray those you love.

i still did it

I know. But you won't do it again. It affects you differently because you've changed.

but i never expected to do it in the first place what if if i do it again

If Meenah ordered you to, would you?

the worst part is i don't know i generally don't know what i'd do