Do you ever yearn? Do you ever do so without knowing what you are yearning for?
Really?
That does sound like quite the unfortunate curse.
Must it 8e? That seems like a deterministic perspective on life, and I personally 8elieve that most have some agency in their lives.
Do you wish to live like that? Do you want this fate you feel you have 8een given?
You have choices, you have options. You are not limited to all aspects of what you 8elieve your fate may 8e. 8ut you have to 8e willing to recognize when you do have choices.
Girl...
A gilded cage is still a cage. It may 8e comforta8le, 8ut that doesn't mean you have control. A worse life with less comforts can 8e more rewarding if you have more control over it. 8ut that is, as always, a choice.
Elly you sound like my "one particularly bad mood swing from killing herself" phase when I was younger. Take it from someone who's been here, the power to improve your life is in your hands. You just have to lock in.
My DMs are open if you ever want to talk.
Because I care about my friends and I don't want them to get stuck in the mental health torment nexus. I know we don't know each other very well all things considered, but your well-being still matters to me.