I have decided that Batman does not eat pussy because, psychologically speaking, it would require him to experience intimacy in a manner which cannot be converted into vigilance. You must consider the man. Bruce Wayne is known for constructing eroticism in his relationships with control. His body is an instrument. His pain, fear, and anger are tools to him. Even his tenderness has to be smuggled out past his guards of duty, protection, mentorship, and sacrifice. He is most comfortable loving someone when there is something he can do about it. Save them. Train them. Investigate them. Die for them, if necessary. These are all active positions in which he remains the architect of the encounter. Cunnilingus is, unfortunately for him, a poor medium for maintaining the Batman. In this instance, you are not looming. You are not surveying. You are not performing stoic endurance atop a gargoyle during dramatic rainstorms. Your face is buried into another person's thighs, and for once the liquid rolling down your cheeks are not thunderstorms nor tears. The entire success of the enterprise is determined by your attentiveness to someone else's pleasure. You must respond rather than dictate. You must accept feedback. You must be patient. You must permit another person's body to establish the terms of what is happening. Even worse, it is difficult to explain to your partner why cunnilingus is about martyrdom without being blocked on BatHinge on your Batphone so you go to BatGrindr and see which Battops are mucking about this time of night in Goth Hams City. Batman is the one person who can turn anything into noble suffering on the behalf of another. Sex, I suspect, is no exception. But this particular act keeps threatening to become uncomplicated service. You do not simply get to brood amidst a feast of champions. He can not ponder his grand masculine ordeal whilst lapping sloppily at Selena's Personal Vault. Nor can he apprehend a criminal, save for the soft hold one might have over a certain hooded figure down yonder. And then we arrive at the immortal declaration: "Heroes don't do that." This is the superego speaking. It isn't even about Bruce having boundaries, or being abstinent. It's just that "Heroes Don't." The private inhibition is enforced by a virtuous institution known for... Well. I'll save my commentary on Green Lantern, Superman, and the Flash's antics to another post. Abstention becomes virtue. Desire becomes something against which the heroic identity must be defended. He cannot simply have a hangup, it must be foundational to the ideals of a Super-Heroic Society. That, and I suspect he was bad at it once and he is no longer permitted to do so.
i WOULD IMAGINE THAT, hIS EARS GET IN THE WAY OF IT, bUT, gOOD ANALYSIS, i THINK, i HAVE NEVER REALLY PONDERED, tHIS PARTICULAR ASPECT OF, vAMPIRES BUT, tHIS IS INTERESTING- oHH, iS TH1S WHY, tHERE'S SO MUCH, dIVORCE?
Batman isn't a Vampire nor a Rainbow Drinker. You should attend my comic readings to learn more.
I kn0w n0thing ab0ut superher0es but i simply must assume this is true because i enj0yed reading it
i NOTICE YOU, sWEEP THE EARS ISSUE, uNDER THE RUG,,, sUSPICIOUS,,,
There are many positions one can enjoy the groin fruits from, Tavros. I am not humoring the Ear Theory (Eary).
}>:( yOU NEVER, hUMOR MY VARIOUS, eAR1ES,
Shush with that. You just haven't had any sound ones.
oKAY, yOU MADE ME GIGGLE SO, yOU ARE FORGIVEN, fOR NOW, eHEHE,