Saw a traffic cone in the middle of the sidewalk today. Just sittin' there. No construction, no pothole, no municipal employee with six inches of asscrack hanging out of his Carhartts. Nothing. Just one of those little orange sons of bitches asserting dominion over a perfectly serviceable stretch of concrete. And the craziest part? Everybody walked around it. Without question. Without asking to see his credentials or checking to make sure the requisite permits had been filed with the appropriate city officials. Just a couple dozen law-abiding citizens paying their respects to the great plastic monarch of the pedestrian walkway. Fucking incredible. That's some legitimate social engineering right there, dude. The cone has no legal authority, no means of enforcing its will, and approximately the same intellectual capacity as a particularly stupid lampshade. Yet the mere suggestion that something important might be happening beneath its hollow ass is enough to redirect foot traffic. Pavlov's dogs had to be conditioned with bells and meat powder. This guy just shows up in a reflective vest and starts running the place. I respect the hustle. Hell, I walked around him too. Wasn't about to undermine a fellow professional in the middle of his shift.
performance art
Mothergrub Forbid A Warmblood Collar Worker Has A Hobby Outside Of Their Usual Work.
Are Mothergrubs particularly authoritative figures on Alternia? Like, you play outside for too long and Big Birtha comes out of her cavern to yell at you?
Yes. Not Only That, But If You Talk Back She Eats You And Your Soul Becomes Lost In The Caverns. #truthposting #cannibalism
Damn._That's_a_hell_of_an_escalation_from_the_usual_disciplinary_measures._So_you're_telling_me_the_entire_Alternian_juvenile_correctional_system_is_predicated_on_some_subterranean_eldritch_PTA_mom_who_can_revoke_your_corporeal_and_spiritual_privileges_in_one_sitting?_What's_the_protocol_if_you_tell_Big_Birtha_she's_not_your_real_mom?
Hey man, that's what I typed.
Well, If You Say That She Will Begin To Cry. Then Any Troll In The Immediate Vicinity Is Required By Alternian Law To Kill You With Their Bare Hands. #violence #gore #cw-sadmom
Just like Rose, damn.